DC Re-Imagined Martian Manhunter #2

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TommytheHitman

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#1  Edited By TommytheHitman

Rated M

The story opens up outside of the temple where issue 1 ended. Surrounding the temple are dozens of Green Martians firing energy weapons at... something (By something I mean the White Martians but they're not actually shown yet)

Caption: Mars, 1957.

The Green Drone leader starts shouting at the others while firing his weapon at the White Martians which again aren't shown.

Green Drone Leader: THERE'S TOO MANY FALL BACK!!

The Green Drone starts to run and shoot his weapon but he doesn't see the small hill he's about to fall down...

SFX: PEWM! PEWM!

Green Drone Leader: GO! WE NEED TO GET LORD MALAFIC OUT OF H-!!

The Drone falls down the hill dropping his weapon.

Green Drone Leader: OOF!!

The Drone lies in the sand as a White Martian's shadow appears over him. The Drone's eye's widen trying to beg for his life as he fumbles for his pistol which is unknowingly lying next to him.

Green Drone Leader: Please... please don't...

White Martian: PLZZ Dooontt...

The Drone starts to try to climb up the hill as we see the White Martian's arm shape shift into a blade.

White Martian: Murdddeerrurr...

Green Drone Leader: PLEASE DON'T KILL ME! I CAN TELL YOU WHERE MALAFIC IS!!

The White Martian's blade arm raises as the Drone raises his arms over his head while he starts to cry (Am I messed up in the head for this? Probably)

Green Drone Leader: WAIT NO!!

We see the silhouette of the White Martian stabbing the drone in the chest as the drone's blood splatters everywhere.

Green Drone Leader: PLE-!!

The White Martian's blade morphs back into it's arm while the White Martian wipes the drone's blood off it's chest.

White Martian: Mali...

Splash Page of the White Martian stood over the drone's body in all u's terrible glory while it seems transfixed on the blood covering it's hands it seems to smile as it says...

White Martian: Malafic..

Anyway J'onn stands staring up at Hromneer like he was at the end of last issue. Nothing's changed it's still that weird black place.

J'onn: My lord and master Hromneer.

J'onn kneels before Hromneer who smiles faintly.

J'onn: How can I serve you?

Hromneer starts to frown

Hromneer: Do not kneel before me Martian. You are my equal.

J'onn stands up as Hromneer looks around the pitch black area.

J'onn: My master if I may ask... where are we?

Hromneer: Hmm? Oh we're in the thought space...

A Flashback of J'onn touching the carvings on the wall.

Hromneer: When you touched the wall it allowed my weakened state to connect our minds.

J'onn looks confused as Hromneer crouches down to speak on level with J'onn.

J'onn: Your weakened state?

Hromneer: Mars is dying. The White gods have killed all of us. The White race will try to kill the greens soon. You need to find a new world. There is a planet, the people there call it Earth, it means land in their language.

Hromneer starts to raise J'onn up into the air with his telekinesis.

Hromneer: When you return to Mars you will have powers beyond your brethren, You'll be able to read and communicate with other's minds, alter your density and appearance and eventually more. You will be the protector of that world until your brothers are able to conquer it!

J'onn starts to look panicked as he starts to fade away.

J'onn: BUT MASTER! HOW WILL I ARRIVE ON THIS PLANET?!

Hromneer turns away as J'onn completely disappears from view.

Hromneer: One day you'll awaken and discover your destiny.

Slat stein: Interesting...

Slat Stein the White Martian God appears behind Hromneer who closes his eyes.

Slat Stein: You waste your remaining power on saving your race? That's...

Slat Stein smiles cruelly as he pulls an alien sword off his back.

Slat Stein: Admirable.

Hromneer: I'm ready to die.

Slat Stein stabs Hromneer through the back killing him.

Hromneer: ACK!!

Slat Stein: Good. Your puppet will be joining you soon...

To Be Continued...

Okay I know again not a lot of action happened in this issue but I promise there will be more next issue! Okay this would have come out sooner but when I finished it the first time I accidentally deleted it, oh also the reason it came out early is because I want it to catch up with Wildcat which would have been 2 issues ahead. Okay please tell me what you think in the comments below and be sure to try out the rest of DC Re-Imagined! http://www.comicvine.com/forums/fan-fic/8/dc-re-imagined-revived-library/752564/#17

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ekrolo

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#2  Edited By ekrolo

Still feels a little too much like a script, and I hope the pace picks up because I feel like its being a little too decompressed.

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TommytheHitman

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#3  Edited By TommytheHitman

It will, I just felt like taking my time with his origin story I do have some villains I plan for him to fight, one being called DEATH METAL!!

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#4  Edited By TommytheHitman

@ekrolo: Also I'm used to writing like script. I'm trying my best to get out of it!

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ekrolo

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#5  Edited By ekrolo

@TommytheHitman: Just giving some constructive criticism, although my decompressed complaint may not be valid because I really hate overly long story lines, if the 60s did anything right is that they did their stories fairly quickly and had little to no filler. I do wish you put more character actions in between characters so that it doesnt come off as if the character just stand around like statues talking a lot.

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wildvine

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#6  Edited By wildvine

I would stop breaking the forth wall. It doesn't work for this story.

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TDK_1997

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#7  Edited By TDK_1997

It's good but things are moving too slow.

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GR2Blackout

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#8  Edited By GR2Blackout

Awesome.

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TommytheHitman

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#9  Edited By TommytheHitman

I write those to try and make people think I'm less creepy. Doesn't work well.

I don't want to rush the story and it's kind of hard to fit in the lore of an entire planet in 2 issues!

Thanks

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FalconPuuunch

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#10  Edited By FalconPuuunch

@TommytheHitman

I like it! I have never read a single thing with Martian Manhunter before so I have nothing to compare, but it seems to me like you're doing a good job.

Random Question. How long do Martians live?

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TommytheHitman

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#11  Edited By TommytheHitman

@FalconPuuunch: A long time. Around the same amount of time as a Kryptonian.

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batkevin74

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#12  Edited By batkevin74

@TommytheHitman: Yeah the script thing...honestly this would be a great story or if you convinced someone from Artists Showoff to draw it, an excellent comic. But the script format for me, I don't like.

I do like the idea of two Martian gods going head to head with each other though, very nice.

@TommytheHitman said:

Slat Stein smiles cruelly as he pulls an alien sword off his back.

Since we're on Mars, he's a Martian god; it'd just be a sword or a wicked sword pulsing with energy or a slender spine of metal laced with barbs and dripping with viscous goo. He's an alien, to him it's just a sword. I get what you mean but its like a German German Shepherd or an English English muffin.