DC Re-Created: Doctor Mid-Nite #1 (of 5) Vol. 1

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Project_Worm

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#1  Edited By Project_Worm

This is my first new fan-fic in months, so be gentle (or don't as long as you critique you can be as mean/harsh as you want). I usually have more to say up here, but sadly not today, so- I hope you enjoy! And like always, if you want to check out more of my stuff you can go HERE to find a ton. If you want to read all the other DCRE stuff go HERE

Almost forgot this story format is new to me so if it's a little too "wonky" let me know. This Fan-Fic is rated T

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S.T.A.R. Labs - Chicago (Sub-level: 6) 3 weeks ago

--Two young scientist shuffle quickly down a long, brightly lit hallway their long lab coat tails trailed closely behind them like snow colored capes.--

"Pieter C'mon, this technology could be the future!"

Pieter stopped and put his hands on his friend's shoulders, "Richard this technology could be dangerous!" he said smiling and turned away. "You never consider the risks, my friend."

"Bah, that's the way it has to be, my friend." He said sarcastically. "What with you being such a blow-hard pessimist." He jumped back in Pieter's way. "Look man, I know this is risky, that's why I'm coming to you, no one knows the human body as well as you do."

Pieter shook his head, "I don't know Richard your father had to have stopped looking into this for a reason."

"Nah, he- he just couldn't get it right. He couldn't figure it out, but us, the two of us, together, we most definitely could."

"Fine, look, if you can find out more about this thing, I'll consider it." Pieter replied giving in. Richard started smiling a huge grin began spreading across his face, "Rick- Rick listen to me, I said I'll consider it!"

"No- no, I know I got you, one hundred percent, hey, you the man Pete!"

"Yeah, yeah- I know"

Richard turned swiftly on his heel and ran back down the hall in the opposite way from the lab.

"Hey, wait!" Pieter shouted after him, "We-- still have work to do." he said quietly to himself before heading down to the lab by himself.

============

(120 hrs)

Chicago, Illinois - Southside rooftops

"Um- uh, HQ come in." A shadowy figure spoke into his wrist, "Hello? Um- are you there?"

At the other end of the call a man stumbled back into his chair, "Oh, yeah! I'm right here! Wha- what's going on?"

"I just don't know what to do man. I've been up here for almost two hours and haven't found anything! Not to mention jumping from rooftop to rooftop is a lot harder than expected."

"Yeah, well not to break it to you Pete but you're not exactly in peak human condition" He received an annoyed groan from the other end of the line "About, your problem however, I suppose I could sync in to the local police scanners..."

"That would actually be great! Get back to me when you--" A loud and powerful scream rang nearby cutting him off "Scratch that, I think someone just called."

Chicago, Illinois - South-side alley (seconds earlier)

--A blonde woman tripped into a puddle, badly scraping her palms and knees, she turned to face her three large pursuers who crept ever closer with every faint flash from the lamp post that flickered violently overhead.--

"Please! I just want to go home!" She cried, her face soaked in mud-water and her makeup smeared on her eyes.

The smallest of the three the one in the middle stepped forward a large venomous grin on his face "Oh, don't you worry your pretty little face, and trust me it is very pretty" He took yet another step. "We'll make sure you' get home, " he closed the gap. "But it just so happens, we also have things we want."

His smile grew impossibly wide and he cocked his head tossing a signal to the much larger man to his right. The massive thug grabbed the woman by her short hair yanked her up until she stood on groggy legs and slammed her face first into the nearby brick wall drawing blood from her brow.

She struggled violently against his immense strength before giving in and with every fiber of her being let out a powerful scream "Somebody please help me!"

The large man threw her into the wall once more, harder this time and her consciousness wavered causing her to fall helplessly onto the cracked pavement.

The slim man opened his mouth again. "You keep your whore mouth shut! You hear? I promise you things will go much smoother if you do!" He spat in her face. "Now, where were we?"

Just then there was a sound of shattered glass and the sole light illuminating the alley gave out sending the four into total darkness.

The man from the roofs leaped down from above extended his police baton and gave a fierce thwack to the back of the head of the nearest thug sending him spiraling into the grown so fast that the Pieter himself grimaced in pain.

The two men who still stood around the sobbing woman -the thin man and his large thug- spun around frantically a shared look of pure horror on their face, "Who's there!" the leader squealed as he stumbled back, "Get em' Mac!" he barked.

The gorilla man looked around confused. "I can't see nuffin' tho'!"

"I don't care just protect me, you imbecile!"

Mac's dirty face contorted into a look of determination, he scooted forward not letting his feet leave the ground before swinging his sledge hammer arms wildly. "Ya' betta' stay back ya' hear me?"

The vigilante easily dodged the uncoordinated strikes before finding an opening and swatted the oaf in the face, a large gash was left behind and blood poured down his face. Tears began forming in his eyes, and once again Pieter felt a slight sting of remorse. Just then Gorilla Mac roared his deep voice a mix of anger and agony. He shot forward, tackling his assailant to the ground. Pieter flailed under him, weakly swinging his baton at Mac who unloaded into his stomach. Pieter coughed up some blood and the whole hero thing suddenly didn't seem like such a good idea. Just as he began to fade he heard the sound of police sirens. Somebody must have called in after hearing the woman's scream, if he could hold on a bit longer he might actually make it out alive. He reached desperately for a fallen brick and broke it over Mac's head.

Gorilla Mac stumbled off of his body and held onto his head, surprised at this beast's resiliency Pieter stood up quickly an punted the thug in the head as hard as he could, knocking him out cold.

"Two down," Pieter groaned turning his attention to the leader who was now running away.

Pieter limped after him, he knew he had to catch him before he reached the street his vision wouldn't work well with all the light around. He broke out into a painful sprint, but before he knew it, they were both out on the open road. The thin man jumped onto the curb and Pieter's legs were thrown out from under him by a speeding police car. He tumbled over the cars hood and roof before landing flat on the pavement, and now it was crystal clear, the whole hero thing was most definitely not a good idea.

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ALL CHARACTERS AND SETTINGS ARE PROPERTY OF DC COMICS

Please comment below and tell me what you think.

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batkevin74

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#2  Edited By batkevin74

@project_worm: Not a bad start. A few typo errors like how you spell Pieter. You start Pieter and towards the end eg: "Two down," Peiter groaned turning his attention to the leader who was now running away. Peiter limped after him

And mispelling I've: Iv'e been up here for almost two hours and haven't found anything!

I don't get the hours (120hrs) myself. Is that 24hr time or am I just totally missing it?

But I like Dr Mid-Nite and I look forward to reading where you take him next. This line was my favourite, I could see Dr Zachary Smith from Lost in Space (played by the late Jonathan Harris) yelling it "I don't care just protect me you imbecile!"

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TheManInTheShoe

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@project_worm: It's a good start to what will surely be a great series. I found some minor typos, minor things that an internet spell checker would miss probably. I also would suggest to use commas to separate some sentences into different parts, for example:

The smaller of the three, the one in the middle, stepped forward with a large venomous grin on his face.

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Project_Worm

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@project_worm: It's a good start to what will surely be a great series. I found some minor typos, minor things that an internet spell checker would miss probably. I also would suggest to use commas to separate some sentences into different parts, for example:

The smaller of the three, the one in the middle, stepped forward with a large venomous grin on his face.


There were definitely some petty errors, however things like the missing "with" are mostly a style thing.

@project_worm: Not a bad start. A few typo errors like how you spell Pieter. You start Pieter and towards the end eg: "Two down," Peiter groaned turning his attention to the leader who was now running away. Peiter limped after him

And mispelling I've: Iv'e been up here for almost two hours and haven't found anything!

I don't get the hours (120hrs) myself. Is that 24hr time or am I just totally missing it?

But I like Dr Mid-Nite and I look forward to reading where you take him next. This line was my favourite, I could see Dr Zachary Smith from Lost in Space (played by the late Jonathan Harris) yelling it "I don't care just protect me you imbecile!"

Yeah that's actually really lame haha. I had used words like vigilante instead of Peiter to describe him, but they seemed painfully repetitive so I input his name to the majority of them accidentally throwing in a lump of misspellings, which I missed since both Pieter and Peiter pop up as misspellings.

The (120hrs) was actually meant to be a countdown... looking back on it though I can see it was rather oddly added in.

I will be honest I've never seen Lost in Space but Dr Zach seems to have much more class than the "Thin man".

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TheManInTheShoe

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@project_worm: Of course. Looking forward to the next installment

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RulerOfThisUniverse

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Nice job so far. There were a few typos, but nothing major. Can't wait for part 2!

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I enjoyed this. There are unlucky heroes and then there is Doctor Mid-Nite. Your descriptions were good and your format actually worked better than I thought at the beginning.

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deactivated-5fbfd5d291164

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I read this last night and I though It commented on it then? Odd. Anyway, I enjoyed this a lot!

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dngn4774

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#9  Edited By dngn4774

@project_worm: Not much to say that the others haven't already told you. The chapter was consistently strong throughout and the character was well written. I'd throw in a picture or two cause Doctor Mid-Nite's costume is always badass. Nice work!

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Project_Worm

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Nice job so far. There were a few typos, but nothing major. Can't wait for part 2!

Thank you! Should have the next chunk out pretty soon.

@maccyd said:

I enjoyed this. There are unlucky heroes and then there is Doctor Mid-Nite. Your descriptions were good and your format actually worked better than I thought at the beginning.

Glad you think so. I was rather weary of it when i started but I'm pleased that It came out better than expected.

I read this last night and I though It commented on it then? Odd. Anyway, I enjoyed this a lot!

Better "late" than never. really appreciate the second attempt.

@dngn4774 said:

@project_worm: Not much to say that the others haven't already told you. The chapter was consistently strong throughout and the character was well written. I'd throw in a picture or two cause Doctor Mid-Nite's costume is always badass. Nice work!

I considered adding pictures but it's not something I've ever done. Didn't want to mess with the formula to much on the first "chapter". Besides in my head Pieter was was wearing a shoddy precursor to the awesome Mid-Nite costume we all know.