CRANK: The Indomitable Few #1

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stumpy49er

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#1  Edited By stumpy49er

Original One Shot here: http://www.comicvine.com/forums/fan-fic-8/crank-the-bengal-and-san-francisco-samurai-one-sho-1718014/#9

Assault on Alcatraz Underwater Complex

Alcatraz Underwater Compound

Sirens blare as Warden Amelia Kincaid runs to the control room. Security Chief Ray Parish, standing next to a monitor, looks up at Amelia. "We're under attack, Warden." he says.

Amelia runs to the closest monitor, looks at the guard at the station, Kevin Batson, who's wearing a Super Bat t-shirt under his guards shirt. "Button up the shirt, Batson." she orders.

"Sorry Warden." Kevin says as he complies.

"Who the hell is attacking us?" she asked Ray. She was pissed off. Just last week there was an escape.

The League of Crime has a ship off the western port of the island. Their Crime Troopers are taking shots at the island battlements." Ray replied.

"That's obviously a diversion. What are the underwater feeds picking up? Any subs?" Amelia asked, as she looked at the underwater monitors. Just then a huge, gold finned, shark man swam by.

"Gold Shark!" Amelia swore, then she saw a gigantic , standardized diver suit wearing robot swim by. "Dynamo Diver! It's the Feared Horde. Damn it! Last week some a**hole had Dante sneak Terror Truck out of here piece by piece and now Old Evil Eye is sending his best soldiers on an all out assault on the Complex."

"I don't know if my guards can handle this." Ray said. "A bunch of Crime Trooper mooks are one thing, but super villains? Somebody needs to call the Panopticons."

"I'll call Dmenchech of the NSA and let her know. If we can't get the Panopticons, then I know a closer team. In the meantime I want extra security on Aaron Moro's cell." she said, looking at the security feed inside the cell holding Aaron Moro, the man who killed Dr. Quantum. The handsome black man Aaron, original leader of the Feared Horde and right hand man to Old Evil Eye, stared back at the camera and smiled.

"Holy crap! Boss, check it out." yelled Kevin from his monitor. "It's the San Francisco Samurai. He's on the island fighting the Crime Troopers."

"That's not all." said Ray, looking at a different monitor. "The Bengal is also on the island, shooting at their ship with an M-60."

Alcatraz Island surface.

The Bengal, an African American super hero, dressed in orange and black tiger striped army clothes, is shooting at the League of Crimes ship with his tiger striped M-60, nicknamed Pigsy. Multiple Crime Troopers are dropping like flies.

Meanwhile the Bengals friend/rival, the San Francisco Samurai, a Japanese American super hero, dressed in red, black and gold armor, with an open faced helmet, is swiftly defeating the Crime Troopers on the island.

"Thanks for the backup, Samurai." said the Bengal before adding "but I could have handled these mooks myself."

"Not sure of your sincerity, but you are welcome anyway." replied S.F. Samurai. "Though, as I've told you before Bengal, I do not approve of killing."

"Them or us, Samurai." said Bengal, adding "Or to be more accurate, them or some innocent civilian."

Just then Gold Shark burst out of the water. Standing nine feet tall, the savage golden scaled shark man charged at his arch enemy, the Bengal.

"Gold Shark!" The Bengal growled, turning his M-60 on the shark man beast. Gold Shark ignored the bullets, his gold scales acting as armor. Bengal grabbed his tiger striped grenade launcher, the Cub, as he dropped Pigsy to the ground. Firing a grenade at shark mans face. The explosion temporarily blinds Gold Shark as he tries to tackle the Bengal, who narrowly avoids the shark mans teeth and claws by rolling under him.

The Bengal stands and looks at Gold Shark. He drops his weapons and pulls off his flak vest. Gold Shark turns and looks at Bengal, smiling. The Bengal transforms into a nine foot tall tiger man, then launches himself at his nemesis.

The San Francisco Samurai finishes off the last Crime Trooper, considers helping Bengal, then sees a disturbance in the water. A gigantic diver helmet rises up from it. Dynamo Diver, standing ten feet tall, walks onto the island shore. The silent, robotic man has a claw on his left arm and an electric harpoon on his left. A chain is attached to his claw.

Knowing what the chain means, San Francisco Samurai leaps towards Dynamo Diver intent on cutting the chain. Dynamo Diver shoots two missiles from his shoulder cannons as well as shooting his electric harpoon at S.F. Samurai. Easily dodging the missiles and cutting the harpoon with his mystical katana, which shocks S.F. Samurai.

Dynamo Diver pulls the chain up while San Francisco Samurai is stunned. At the end of the chain is a force field. Inside the force field are more members of the Feared Horde. The Chain, standing six foot four, big, leather wearing, biker looking bastard, whose fifty foot long, telekinetically bonded chain can create force fields. Clockwork Brigand, gear headed, top hat wearing cyborg with a telescopic staff and flintlock pistols. Deaths Bride, ghostly woman in a bridal gown, carrying a reaper blade. Finally, Miss Wicked, tattooed, black leather wearing witch whose teeth are sharpened to points.

Clockwork Brigand and Miss Wicked walk towards San Francisco Samurai. Clockwork Brigand tips his top hat then says "You are outnumbered, my dear Samurai."

Miss Wicked leans on her lover, Clockwork Brigand and giggles "Let's bathe in his blood." Her eyes flash red as she says this.

San Francisco Samurai smiles back defiantly and declares "The Indomitable Few never stand alone."

An orange explosion happens behind San Francisco Samurai. Fall leaves scatter through the air, as a giant pumpkin appears from the smoke. The pumpkin bursts open as the Indomitable Few charge through it.

Dr. October, jack o lantern headed sorcerer. Miss Adventure, goggles wearing, super heroine, with short, rainbow color dyed hair, who has super strength, flight and luck powers. Red Cap, four foot tall, goblin tinkerer with a red cap, claws, iron boots and a short pike. Hourglass, a French Arabic super heroine who can stop time for anything in her close proximity. Milk Girl, young blonde super heroine, wears milkman's hat, white button up short sleeved shirt and a white skirt, who can grow to the size of a giant after drinking Quantum Milk. Lastly, the Quantum Cat, a super powered cat, created by Milk Girls deceased father Dr. Quantum, that can fly, phase and be at any place at any time.

San Francisco Samurai looks back at Clockwork Brigand and taunts "Now who's outnumbered?'

to be continued..

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stumpy49er

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#2  Edited By stumpy49er

@batkevin74@impurestcheese@tommythehitman@cbishop

New CRANK issue. A continuation of my one shot, but with a bigger team.

It's out a little early, but as long as I get them out before Thursday, it's good. Also, I realize the teams a bit big but since this will be a weekly project, I'll have time to flesh each character out.

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cbishop

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@stumpy49er: An odd bunch of characters, but pretty cool- looking forward to the next one. I wince every time I see "Alcatraz Underwater Compound" though, because I've had an underwater super-prison on my list for years, nicknamed "Aquatraz," but it's official name is something different- more government-ish. lol

Loved Gold Shark and Dynamo Diver. :)

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ImpurestCheese

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@stumpy49er: Nice Villains, cool heroes. Ready to see them scrap and cross swords, this could be interesting

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batkevin74

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@stumpy49er: Let's start with what I didn't like and the typos before I tell you what I really liked. Now keep in mind, I am no expert just a guy who writes FF. If it comes across as harsh it isn't meant too at all, just my notes on your story...and maybe coz its my universe I'm a bit harder.

"Were under attack, Warden." he says....I think you mean We're, as in we are. Not were as in past tense like we were under attack.

Amelia runs to the closest monitor, looks at the guard at the monitor, Kevin Batson, who's wearing a Super Bat t-shirt under his unbuttoned guards shirt. "Button up the shirt, Batson." she orders. "Sorry Warden." Kevin says as he buttons up his shirt.....Repetition works for The Wiggles, in FF it's a little distracting. Monitor, monitor. Unbutton, button, button.

"Gold Shark!" The Bengal growled, turning his M-60 on the shark man beast. Gold Shark ignored the bullets, his gold scales acting as armor. Bengal grabbed his tiger striped grenade launcher, the Cub, as he dropped Pigsy to the ground. Firing a grenade at Gold Sharks face. The explosion temporarily blinds Gold Shark as he tries to tackle the Bengal, who narrowly avoids the shark mans teeth and claws by rolling under him....again the repetition

Feared Few and Indomitable Few...that's too many fews, especially for teams even if they are good & bad guys

Milk Girl, young blonde super heroine, wears milkman's hat, white button up short sleeved shirt and a white skirt, who can grow to the size of a giant after drinking Quantum Milk. Hourglass, a French Arabic super heroine who can stop time for anything in her close proximity. Lastly, the Quantum Cat, a super powered cat, created by Milk Girls deceased father Dr. Quantum, that can fly, phase and be at any place at any time....just the order in my opinion. Put Hourglass before Milk Girl so her intro runs into Quantum Cat's because they're linked. Nothing wrong with it just flows better I feel

* I think Gold Shark is kinda awesome along with Hourglass, who I really feel should come join the Panopticons :)

* Quantum Milk, going to need to know more on that substance since it made a cat into a superhero!

* The Bengal is not just a name but he turns into a tiger! That was unexpected and kinda cool

* Clockwork Brigand strikes me as the leader and a character with enormous potential

* Kevin Batson, who's wearing a Super Bat t-shirt under his unbuttoned guards shirt. Hey hey I'm fictional! :)

Let's have another

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stumpy49er

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#6  Edited By stumpy49er

@cbishop: Aquatraz! Love it. Almost wish I thought of it, though I'm glad I didn't, you'd really hate that.;) Yeah, I've noticed we fan fic writers come up with similar concepts. I just try to shrug it off. In fact I almost changed Gold Shark after I saw @impurestcheese had a character named Goblin Shark (can't wait to read about this character btw) but then I just decided to go with my original concept.

@batkevin74 I totally appreciate the feedback. Typos are annoying and I do have to work on my repetition. I made a few adjustments. As for the two Few Crews, I do agree with you. When I came up with each team I got stuck on which one should have Few. I liked Indomitable Few because it sounded almost Western, yet I also liked the way Feared Few sounded. But I also like the word Horde when it comes to villains groups, so I'll change the villains to the Feared Horde. Almost rhymes.

* I really like Clockwork Brigand. I consider him the 4th in charge of the bad guys. Old Evil Eye is the boss, Aaron Moro is 2nd, Gold Shark is kind of Aaron's rival, then Clockwork Brigand and Miss Wicked after that. Though I agree, he has potential to be more.

* I'd be down to let you use Hourglass, at some point. I need to flesh her out a little more first. Might be giving her a relationship.

* I have a lot of ideas where I want to go with Quantum Milk, Milk Girl, Quantum Cat and Dr. Quantum.

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batkevin74

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@stumpy49er: I might need to chat about Quantum Cat and the other Quantums, especially their powers

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stumpy49er

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@batkevin74 I'll PM you. I don't want to give out story spoilers yet, but I'll give you more info.

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TommytheHitman

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Very entertaining first issue. You've come up with some great names for your characters while also giving them interesting, yet brief descriptions that are very creative.

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batkevin74

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Bumped