Previous chapters: http://comicvine.gamespot.com/forums/fan-fic-8/crank-gunship-19-1832372/#8
And this first bit, it takes places just before http://comicvine.gamespot.com/forums/fan-fic-8/crank-salamander-7-1737789/ )
“You got a lot of names,” the parole officer remarked as he hefted his stomach under the diner’s table. “Dorian Oscar Peter Patrick Edgar Lance…”
“You got a lot of gut but you don’t hear me going on about that!”
“Watch it smart guy!”
The man in the black beanie, sunglasses and ‘I Hate Justine Bliber’ T-shirt smiled. “So what happened to Pedro?”
The parole officer glared at him. “He’s missing. Know anything about it?”
“Nope! You want a beer?”
The parole officer’s brow furrowed again. “You can’t drink. It’s a violation of your paro…”
“I asked if YOU want a beer, you fat sack of crap!” Dorian snapped. “All you ex-cops and wannabe cops are all wound so tight!”
“I’m thirty-one, so don’t go calling me kid okay. Just check my name off your list and then roll off to your next appointment until I have meet up next month.”
The parole officer reached across the table and grabbed him by the throat. “Now you listen here you little puke! My name is Tony Scagnetti an…” The large man paused as he caught a figure in his peripheral. “What the???”
“Yeah like hi, I’m your server,” said an exact copy of Dorian holding a notepad and a screwdriver.
“I’d like to order my friend a large glass of get your ^%$#& hands offa me,” said seated Dorian removing the hand and sitting down.
From behind Scagnetti another Dorian popped up and intruded on the conversation. “I’d recommend that.”
“Triplets?” Scagnetti said.
“Nah they’re all me,” Dorian said. “Well kinda. Me but not me. I’m Dorian. That’s Oscar. That’s Peter. Patrick’s over at the register, wave to Patrick you fat tub.”
Scagnetti gulped as he realised the entire diner was full of copies of Dorian Bunch just wearing different clothes. “What do you want?”
“You to leave me the hell alone or I’m gonna follow you home and gangbang you and your pretty little family,” Dorian snarled. “You mark my parole off like a good little dog every week and we’ll be fine. You try and change that system, you end up like Pedro, who may or may not be…” He ran a finger across his neck. “You understand?”
Dorian clicked his fingers and all of the him’s lined up around the table, stripped off their clothes then held hands. Then they pop-merged back into a single Dorian Oscar Peter Patrick Edgar Lance Bunch; better known as Doppelganger to the criminal fraternity. “Now I got a three hour drive up to Athens, you got any cash?”
Scagnetti handed over his wallet and Dorian cherry picked it for useful items. “Thanks Tony, you’ve been helpful. And just remember, I have your licence so I know where you live.”
Dorian Bunch strode out of the diner leaving parole officer Tony Scagnetti rethinking his career choices.
Doctor Falcon looked at his assembled motley crew that had grown by ten more. “Ladies. Gentlemen. Monsters. Other forms of life. Welcome to the first and only meeting of my little cabal. Our goal is simple; we are going to kill The Panopticons. And unlike the previous attempts by some of you, we are going to do it correctly.”
“We will use a simple divide and conquer strategy combined with an en masse attack upon High Point. That will keep Gunship, who is by far the most powerful and dangerous member of their group, occupied whilst we pick off the others starting with the Blue Bobcat.”
“Good,” snarled Razor Wasp as she ran her fingers across the scars on her belly.
“He is a second generation hero, I fought his father back in…”
“You were BEATEN by his father,” Mallard Harvest corrected. “Must be all those curries addling your brain.”
Doctor Falcon glared at the impudent racist. “I am well aware of my faults and defeats, Mallard! Didn’t you get captured by a third rate imitation whilst trying to kill a stadium full of people in wheelchairs? How did you manage to fail at killing people who can’t run away?”
“Special Olympics, founded in nineteen sixty-eight.” Bookbear recited like a mantra as Mallard Harvest rose up from the table.
“Sit your white ass, down!” Vargas snarled from beside him.
Mallard’s eyes shifted between the doctor and the portly Hispanic on his left before sinking into his chair. “I…”
From Mallard Harvest’s chair, metal tendrils shot out and wrapped him up like an ambushed fly. His mouth exploded as Doctor Falcon fired four rapid shots into it from across the table making everyone leap from their seats. Bloody foam gushed from nose as he writhed and rocked in pain.
“That was the second time you’ve challenged me, Mallard. There will not be a third.”
Mallard’s hands shot out gusts of wind as if someone had given epilepsy to a malfunctioning leaf blower as he convulsed and choked. Vargas nodded in approval.
“Marbled cone snail poison…death stalker scorpion venom…weaponised lyssavirus,” Penelope Plague mused as she sniffed the air and watched Mallard Harvest die. “Very nice.”
“Let this be a warning to you all,” Falcon said. “You are here for your powers and for the purpose of killing the Panopticons. Your agendas, your vendettas, are your own and will not be tolerated here. And some of you may be thinking, there’s no way Doctor Falcon could kill me…”
“Think again!” said Doctor Falcon as he strode out of a secret door in his battle suit.
“Holy $#!+ he cloned himself!” Draxular gasped.
“Nothing so vulgar,” another Falcon said entering the room from yet another secret door.
“It’s so amazing to meet you,” Hourglass gushed as she shook Gunship’s hand. She paused as he didn’t move. She knew he was strong but that was ridiculous, then she stopped and looked around. “Oh well done idiot, you got so worked up you stopped time! Okay breathe. Relax, it’s just Gunship, the strongest and oldest superhero on the planet. Hi! Um, hello! Get it together Isabelle. And…” She smiled as Gunship’s hand shook hers as she turned time back on. “It’s really great to meet you.”
Gunship stared at her curiously. “You too Hourglass. I’ve heard a lot about you.”
“Really?” Hourglass blushed slightly.
“Tigarayan can’t stop talking about you.” Gunship smiled as he turned to meet Stingsaber.
“I’m amazed he’s still breathing,” stated Black Bobcat as he kicked the shattered body of the villain Captain Scorpion. “He caved when I was torturing him.”
“Maybe because your idea of torture is like being attacked with a feather duster,” sneered Warship from across the room. Black Bobcat started across the room when Striking Girl grabbed his arm.
“He’ll break you, okay,” she whispered. “That’s my job.”
Bobcat smiled and passionately kissed her. Warship huffed and folded his metal arms.
“Why don’t you just take her on the table right now and get it over with?” Cheetarian groaned. “You two are like cats in heat.”
“I concur,” Shadestream added. “Now, despite Warship’s overly cautious stance on his old comrade Doctor Iann Wolf, seems his device does work in breaching the dimensional void, as attested by Captain Scorpion from the alternate universe has shown us.”
“I told you Shadey, didn’t I,” Black Bobcat boasted as he pulled himself off Striking Girl’s lips. “Alternate universe baby!”
Jade Scorpion, the man formerly known as Captain Scorpian who hailed from an alternate dimension, looked down at the city of Delaware. It wasn’t great but it was now his turf. Violent crime had decreased since he’d take up residence here and car theft had all but stopped. He rubbed his arm absentmindedly as he pondered what he should do next.
“Perhaps now, I could join the Panopticons,” he mused before flying off towards High Point.