"God I hate this place."
In the shroud of bleeding white light known as the Elsewhere, a tall, thinly caped figure came into existence. Atop his head was a dark green good, atop his hood was a dark purple top hat, and somewhere beneath his somewhat tattered cloak the figure was dressed in a red coat and doublet ripped right out of the Elizabethan Era of history, as in Queen Elizabeth the 1st. The man calmly adjusted a cufflink atop his wrist before pulling out a bronze pocket watch from around his neck, rusted with age and time. If he was concerned about the time it didn't show on his face, instead he simply stroked the somewhat grey goatee on his chin before beginning to walk forward into the seemingly endless white light, the emptiness of the Elsewhere rippling beneath his feet as he moved.
After several minutes of silent walking, a small dot appeared on the horizon. Upon getting closer it became clear that the dot was in fact a receptionist's desk, with a rather bored looking woman sat behind it, feet kicked up onto the desk while she filed away at her purple nails.
"Ahem." The man said upon arriving at the desk. He pulled his bright green cape around his shoulder to give himself a dramatic appearance. "I've arrived."
"Name?" The Receptionist asked without bothering to look up, she brushed her dark black hair out of her eyes, revealing two black horn stumps sticking out of her forehead.
"Doctor Mute." The good Doctor answered. "Doctor Myrick Mute." He quickly added as the Receptionist gave him a blank stare. "Magician Maximus. Master of the Mystic Arts." None of it seemed to be ringing a bell. Instead the Receptionist simply contunued chewing a piece of gum. "Demon Slayer?" Doctor Mute sighed before leaning forward to get a look at the woman's appointment booket. "There I am." He pointed at his name, listed under the section marked 'Human'.
"Sorry." The Receptionist mumbled while looking at where he'd pointed. The line read 'Mister Myrick Mute'. "I thought you said 'Doctor' Mute."
Myrick turned away slightly, casting his cape back behind him, he pulled at his hood slightly in an attempt to hide the embarassed look on his face. "I AM a Doctor." He stated.
"Sure you are." She replied before waving her hand to her right. A large, wooden door materialized out of nowhere right behind the desk. "Head right in." She muttered.
Doctor Mute sighed once more while pushing the door open. "I AM A DOCTOR!" He repeated before stepping inside, the door slamming shut behind him. The second the door closed, the emptyness of the Elsewhere seemed to ripple and vanish, being replaced with a sweaty, hot New York Boardroom.
"Well, well, well! If it ain't our favourite Mage!" At the end of the black, ebony table pointing towards the window were two large, obese creatures. Both dressed in exspensive looking tuxedos, with disgusting red boils and blisters dotted around their plump, brown bodies. One was busy munching on a bucket of Fried Chicken, while the other was calmly gnawing on the end of the pen he was supposed to be writing with.
They were Mammons. Otherwise known as Monsters, Devourers, Plunderers or more commonly... Greed Demons.
Also known as the perfect businessmen.
"Dale." Doctor Mute nodded, the stench of the chicken lifting up into his nostrils, filling the pit of his stomach with disgust. He looked to the demon in the middle of eating his stationary. "Garfield." The demon didn't pay him any attention. "It's been a long time."
"It's been ages!" Dale let out a loud belch before tossing his empty chicken bucket onto the large pile of waste in the corner of the room. "Easily a few decades!" He looked to his partner. "We ain't seem him since what'shisname died!"
"Adolph Hitler." Garfield mumbled. "We called him here to figure out why it took him so long to end that bloody war."
"I was occupied at the time." Myrick reminded them, somewhat nervous. "Busy trying to solve World Hunger in another dimension." He said. "You know how it is."
"Sure do." Dale nodded. "Sure do. That's why we gave you this job afterall." A serious look passed across the large wart that the demon called a face. "But... we were pretty worried then, Doc... and we're worried now."
"Why?" The Doctor asked. "There haven't been any major catastrophes recently, thanks to me." He pointed out. "In fact.... things are MOSTLY better then ever." He added, leaning forward in his seat. "Crime is down, unemployment is lower then ever, and-"
"Our clients couldn't care less." Garfield interrupted, he'd finished off the pen and moved onto the paper he'd been writing on. "You've been our Guardian of Order for decades now... and if we're being honest, MISTER Mute.... you haven't delivered what you promised."
"You promised us you'd have the world world singing 'kumbiyah' by the new Millenium." Dale said. "...and America's now got a Republican for a President." He snorted causing some kind of foamy mucus to drip out his nose.
Myrick twitched nervously. "Yes..." He stammered. "I'd been meaning to get to th-"
"We fired one of the last guys for letting the Tudors get into power." Dale continued. "Hell! We fired Sir Francis goddamn Drake!" Lightning crackled outside the boardroom's window, making both the demons jump slightly. "Sorry!" Dale yelled to the window. "'Gruddamn' Francis Drake." He corrected.
"And you, Mute, are not Francis Drake." Garfield grumbled. "See... you may be one of the most powerful Mages in existence. But that's not what we want in this job. We expect our employees to get the job done." Garfield went silent for a moment. "Rest in peace my Captain..." He whispered.
"Frankly, Myrick. We're considering stripping you of all the tools, equipment, manservents and all the other little perks you've gained from this job. You simply don't deserve any of them."
"Now... now hang on." Myrick said quickly. "I need this job."
"We're consiering you go back to the pathetic little conman you used to be." Dale smiled, revealing large pointy teeth.
"What... what if I prove to you I can save the world?" Mute said quickly, desperate to get his say in. "I'll... I'll prove that I can bring World Peace to everyone!"
"Ha! Good luck with that!" Garfield laughed.
"You're not serious." Dale muttered.
"I'm completely serious." Myrick said, trying his best to put a serious look on his face.
The two demons glanced at each other, neither seeming too thrilled by the idea.
"Our bosses won't be too happy." Dale pointed out. "They like new blood, Myrick. New talent. And you're pretty goddamn old."
He was losing them. "Then why not get some?" He asked. "Talent, I mean. Fire me. Strip me of all my perks and equipment. Give them to whoever you want. Maybe one of those idiots in the Panopticons." He slammed his hand on the table. "But if I bring World Peace to everyone on the Planet... I want my job back."
The two demons glanced once more at each other. FInally Garfield turned back towards the Magician Maximus.
"Okay, MISTER Mute." He said slowly. "....we'll accept. But the Gods and Devils of Magic are NOT to be trifled with."
Doctor Mute stood up from his chair and tore off his cape, he tossed it onto the table before walking towards the exit. Just as his hand gripped the door handle he turned back towards the businessmen. A stern look on his face.
"Neither am I." He said.