Character Creation Contest #63 - Impurest's Guide to Animal Themed OC's

Okay, folks, it's time to jump on into CCC #63, and this time we're going to romp through ImpurestCheese's animal wonderland, using her Impurest's Guide to Animals to come up with some animal themed original characters.

When I say "animal themed," I'm talking about characters like Vulture, Rhino, Lizard, Black Panther, Wildcat, Squirrel Girl, or yes, even Batman, Robin, and Catwoman. Basically any character with an animal name could be considered animal-themed. There are more subtle ways to go too though. Imp' herself used a few names off of this list, like Humboldt, Golden Orb Weaver, and Lammergeyer. If I recall correctly, they were all ordinary, non-costumed, evil sons-of-guns. Point is: there's so many directions you can go with animal names.

So your task is this: Go through the list of animals below- they've been alphabetized, and the links lead to the blogs they were featured in. Pick at least one from the titles, and make a story of an original character from it. Your character can be human, alien, extradimensional, funny animal (like Mighty Mouse for instance), or whatever kind of character you can think of, but the name has to come from one of these blogs. There are other animals in Imp's blogs that are not in the titles, and you are completely welcome to use those, but one character must come from the titles. Not all of the titles are strong candidates for use, but I think there are some pretty cool ones on the list.

You can put as much of the blog info into your creation's characterization as you'd like, or none of it. Maybe you want to treat this like the Public Domain contest (CCC 49), and invent your character strictly from the name. That's fine! Have fun with this.

No word limit. Deadline is August 6th, @11:59pm New York time (Google search "ny time" if you're not sure).

Impurest's Guide to Animals (alphabetical order):

Remember: deadline is August 6th, @11:59pm New York time (Google search "ny time" if you're not sure).

Do Imp' proud! See you all in a couple of weeks! -cb :^D

Contestants:

Just helps me remember how many to look for when I do the voting thread.

@wildvine, will you do the honors, please, and pin this? Also please unpin the CCC 62 voting thread. Thanks much. -cb

@captainmarvel4ever

interesting

@cbishop: How many words are we allowed? Can I write a story about

a cartoonist who is fired from the newspaper where his comic stripes about Snowy the Leopard are published, but the newspaper keeps the right to Snowy. It ends in a disaster as Snowy and the rest of his animal friends becomes alive in the form of paper golems and slaughters everyone who works at the newspaper.

@waezi2: No word limit, and yes, you can. :)

Very cool concept. I am currently busy writing two other stories, but I hope to make time to write an origin for a character. I was reading through the list, and one specific animal really stuck out to me, so I hope I am able to squeeze this in somewhere. Regardless, good luck to anyone else who competes, and hopefully I can join in soon.

@thefortress: Hope to see you here! :)

Did someone call?

Not specifically, but if you see an animal in the list that you want to make a character of, please join us! :)

Hmm... take a look at this, you might be interested.

http://the-nemian-lion.deviantart.com/art/Lionman-Animal-Allstars-1-687476714

@waezi2: That's sick! I want to watch

@thenemianlion: Looks cool, but the place to promote your art is in the Artist Show-Off forum. If you'd like to take a look at the original post in this thread and join the contest, please feel free. You have to pick an animal from the list though.

Had to change it from the gore story I originally planned, partly because it became too similar to a horror story I like and because I don't know enough about how newspapers gets printed. Hope it's sick enough for you. Sorry:(

@cbishop:

Here is my entry. It's called Paper.

Only two years old and Image Magazine had become the paper of record for the pop-culture-newsertainment-hungry public that treats celebrities like royalty and tramps on the same day.

Lois Kane, editor-in-chief and founder of Image Magazine was a force of nature. He fought a never-ending battle in an age where print media was considered a dying art. He was dedicated to a fault, meaning that he would sometimes spend hours in his office long after all his other employees had left the building. Including the cleaning staff.

But even a force of nature needed rest it seemed. Kane yawned and decided to finally call it a day. As he closed his computer, he took a quick look at the yellow notes he had plastered all over his desk with small messages he had written for himself, such as:

Remember wife-birthday

Meeting on Friday 15:30

Buy more yellow sticky paper

You shouldn't have fired Tom

Buy new phone

Kane bottomed his jacket, double-checked his briefcase, and was just about to leave the office as he realized that one of his yellow notes was a bit... odd. He re-read them one more time and found the one he couldn't remember that he had written, nor did he understand WHY he had.

You shouldn't have fired Tom.

Tom Wood was the guy who made comic stripes for the magazine about Snowy the Leopard. "Was" being the key-word as Kane had him fired last week as he began to demand a higher salary, two pages for his comics instead of a half and he refused to use a graphic design program that would save time. He claimed that his comics HAD be drawn on paper with pencils. That it was "important for the craft."

Prick acted as if he was god damn Picasso. He was just a guy who made funnies about a Hawaiian-shirt wearing white leopard who hates Sundays.

Kane had to call in security as Tom became hysterical once he was told that not only was he fired but that Kane kept the rights to Snowy. Kane had no moral quarrels with this as Ted had signed the contract that clearly said that all the comics he did while working for Image Magazine was the magazine's intellectual property. Kane could understand if the man was upset, but he acted as if Kane had set the building on fire and yelled out things such as: You have no idea what you have done!

Well, Kane was rid of him now. Did it mean that the writing for the comics had dropped a bit in quality? Sure. Tom Wood was a prick, but his stripes were damn funny and had clever yet subtle social satire. But he wasn't replaceable, and Sarah Lee, the woman they had hired as Tom's replacement, was not half bad either.

Kane took the You shouldn't have fired Ted note, crumpled it into a ball and thew it in the paper thrash can next to his desk. He took a glance at his phone and was surprised by how long he had stayed at the office. Geeti was gonna be peeved once he got home. He left his office and walked to the elevator.

But as he got to the elevator, he found a note being plastered over the door, saying: out of order.

Odd. it had been working fine all day. It must have happened recently and the cleaning crew must have left the note as they had finished cleaning up third floor. Kane shrugged as he took the stairs. Suited him fine, as his legs were a bit stiff. Sitting in front of a desk for hours did that to your legs. So Kane went through the door that led to the stairs instead.

And was met with quite a surprise as he came to the door that would lead him into ground floor of the building. On it was ALSO a poster that said: Out of order. Kane grabbed the door-handle, but to no use. The door was locked from the outside. It didn't move, not one inch. Kane groaned as he grabbed his phone... that he NATURALLY had forgotten to charge up and had just ran out of power. Kane cursed as he had to return to third floor to get to his office and charge up his phone so that he could call for help.

And then his night got a whole lot stranger.

Kane thought the cleaning staff had done a nice job cleaning up third floor. Apparently, he had overlooked the dozens of crumpled paper that he kept stepping on. Why would anyone waste that much paper? Why would anyone on his staff use that much paper to begin with? Most of the work was done on computers.

Kane made a mental memo that he had to call into a staff meeting the next day to discuss the problem. But he forgot all about it as he entered his office.

Someone had plastered paper all over the walls inside his office. And each piece of paper had the same word written on them with big, fat letters.

THIEF

Kane's heart began to beat a little faster as he fumbled with his phone charger. The sooner he could call for help, the better. Afraid that he might not be alone, he carefully opened his door and looked out at the empty working space. The beating of his heart grew even faster as he was unsure what to feel about the floor now being clean again. There was no paper balls to be seen.

Deciding that enough was enough, he opened his drop drawer where he had a gun. His wife had told him that he was being silly for owning one in the first place, but it sure didn't seem silly now. Kane stepped out of his office, feeling a bit better with a weapon in his hands. He looked left and right, trying to see whether he was alone or not.

"Hello?!" Kane decided to try and call for whoever it was that was playing tricks on him. "Anyone here? I'm armed!"

No answer.

Kane went to every table in the working space, looking for... something, anything. After three minutes of searching, he returned to his office. But on the door was a new note. It said:

That gun won't do you much good.

"Who is it?!" Kane's grip on the gun grew tighter as he kicked the door to the working space open as if he was the actor of a bad action movie. No one was to be seen. Then he turned around and aimed his weapon at nothing as he tried to find whoever was messing with him. "Who are you?! What do you want?!"

Kane dropped the gun as he was hit on the left side of his head by a ball made out of crumpled-up paper. Kane tried to spot the assaulter, but no one was to be found. Slowly, he went down on his knees and picked up the gun as well as the paper-ball. He folded it out, and on it stood:

I'm a guy who hates Sundays.

Kane blinked. He had been so nervous that he had for gotten to blink for who knows how long. Then his eyes narrowed as he began to suspect who his late-night visitor was.

"Tom? Tom Wood, is that you, you damn S-O-A-B?!" Kane made a forced smile. "So you get fired and then you assault me at the middle of the night with this childish BS?"

No answer. And no Tom Wood to be seen. Kane checked one more time that his gun was ready and tried to spot the cartoonist who apparently could move like a ninja. Either that or something bizarre was going on in the building.

"Tom, this won't change anything! You won't get your job or the copyrights to your comics back! Now, come out, and I might be nice enough to NOT call the police on you!"

No answer.

Deciding to stop playing cops and robbers, Kane went back to his desk for his phone.

His phone was gone. Instead, he found another piece of paper. It said:

I'm not Tom Wood.

"Then who are you?!"

Just as Kane had asked, he was hit in the back of his head with another paper ball. He picked it up, folded the crumbled paper out and read:

I'm not the one you stole from. I'm what does not belong to you.

"I didn't steal anything, and you know it, Tom!" Kane began to feel desperate as he went out to the working space and tipped over every desk and chair he got near, searching for his tormentor. "You read the contract! I hired you! I was the only guy who actually saw some potential in your dumb comics about that stupid, white panther! If only you had stopped being such an arrogant schmuck and... and... oh, god."

Kane lost his voice as a piece of crumbled-up paper rolled on the floor all by itself and stopped by his right foot. Kane's hand shook as he picked it up. The message on it was:

I'm a leopard, dummy!

On the bottom left corner of the paper was a tiny drawing of a cat-like character with small dots on it's face. It was wearing a Hawaiian shirt.

BING

That was the sound of the elevator. Kane turned around and saw the elevator at the farthest end of the room open and out of it flew paper despite there being no wind in the room.

And then the paper flew toward him as if they where throwing stars. And they felt like it too! One of the pieces of paper flew past his right cheek, leaving a bleeding rift. Another made a deep cut on his shoulder. Kane ran to the bathroom so that he could lock himself inside it and hope to keep himself safe until the morning when people would arrive in order to get to work.

But he could feel some...thing grabbing his left arm and pulling in him. Kane saw to his great terror that it was part of the wallpaper that had grabbed him as if it was an arm. On the wall was a drawing of Elouise Caracal, Snowy's neighbor. Next to her was drawn a speech bubble that said:

Paper on the walls, too. Nowhere to run, buster!

Kane pulled and pulled and ripped off the hand of the wallpaper arm. He finally reach the toilet and slammed the door once he was inside. He stood with his back against the door so that it couldn't be opened as he prayed to a god he didn't believe in.

And then he realized that he was an idiot.

Out from the booths rolled toilet paper rolls. They rolled out and moved toward Kane as if they were the tentacles of a paper octopus. Kane decided to take his chances and left the bathroom. He opened the door and dodged as a couple of paper airplanes were about to hit him in the face. He threw himself on the floor, rolled and managed to get underneath a table in the naive hope that he wouldn't be found.

And it... worked. Apparently.

All the paper that flew around in the air went inside the bathroom. Large pieces of the wallpaper tore itself off of the wall and followed.

One minute passed.

Two minutes passed.

Kane allowed himself to be brave enough to get up and run for the elevator. But as he got back on his feet, he hear a sound similar to boots stomping in mud. He turned around and saw three, large lumps of wet paper about as tall as a person. And they moved toward him. Kane tried to run, but one of the lumps got an hold of him and forced him up toward the wall. Kane stared at the three lumps of wet paper as they began to take form. The one to the left took the form of Elouise Caracal, the one to the right looked like Barney the Blankey Octopus. And the one in the middle, the one holding Kane by the throat with his disgusting wet paper hand was Snowey.

The paper monster that looked like Snowey began to pop his newly-gained lips. Then he smiled and said:

"Three-dimensional, eh? A leopard could get used to this."

"Please! Let me go!" Kane's heart was beating like a heart of a dying bird. "I... I will rehire Tom! With a HUGE raise! And-And he will get the copyri-"

"Oh, it's WAY too late for that, Louis Kane." The papier-mâché creature with the appearance of Elouise looked at Kane with a displeased look on her cat-face.

"You insulted our maker, stole his art, and now you think that you can pay your way out of it?" The cartoon octopus crossed four of his six arms and used the remaining two to fix his bow-tie.

"And then you made that two-bit HACK draw our stories! And she... she..." Elouise ripped a piece off of herself and used it to dry her eyes and blow her nose with the force of a tiny storm. "She draws our comics with a COMPUTER instead of paper! She has NO respect for the craft at all!"

"What are you gonna do to me?" Kane's throat felt as if it was tying knots on itself.

"Not sure. Hmm." Snowy scratched his nose as he looked at the human he despised so much. Then, he made a wide smile, revealing his big, silly, pointy comicbook teeth. "Friends, Snowy got an idea."

...

The police never found Louis Kane. They searched the office where he had last been seen, but found no clues to his disappearance with the exception of an odd comic book. It was filled with caricatures of Louis Kane who fell off cliffs, was run over by a bus, was hit on the head by an anvil, blown up by a bomb and other sorts of silly deaths. And the police officer who found the comic could have sworn that the pages were made out of some sort of animal leather.

He wasn't entirely wrong.

@waezi2: I see some things but I'm tired. I'll leave a real comment tomorrow

The Origin Of Shame Faced Crab Man #0

(Homaged, referenced and ideas used from the mind of one Impurestcheese in an original tale, soon to be an ongoing series by HBO)

Ty Canol lumbered into the doorframe; his brow sweaty and skin the colour of a shallow rainwater pool. “Help…”

Dr Eloise Calappa ran towards her intern barely catching him before he collapsed. “Ty? TY! What happened?”

Ï…was feeding them…”He garbled as he curled into a ball.

“Ty! TY! Talk to me Ty! You were feeding what Ty, it’s very important.” Eloise opened his eyes wide to look in them as her other hand prised his mouth open. “What happened?”

“It bit me!” Ty replied sheepishly.

“What bit you?”

“Shame Faced…”Ty slurred before passing out.

“Jesus!” Eloise lay the boy on his side in the recovery position and shut the door. She pulled out her phone and dialled a number anxiously. “Come one, come on.”

“Verification code?” asked the hollow electronic voice at the other end.

“Impurest Cheese,” she stated.

“Analysing…code accepted. Enter four digit access code, now.”

Eloise tapped in 7866 and waited.

“Accepted. Name, and state the nature of the emergency.”

“This is Doctor Eloise Calappa of the Rose Mulholland Seaquarium. One of my interns has been bitten by one of the Shame Faced Crabs. Normally this isn’t even worth writing up in the incident book but as you well know…”

“How badly was he bitten?” snapped a male human voice on the other end.

“I haven’t seen the wound as yet; he just collapsed in my lab moments ago.”

“Why wasn’t he supervised, Dr Calappa?”

“I didn’t know he was even here today!” She snapped back. “Besides, who in their right mind irradiates a group of Shame Faced Crabs anyways?”

“Watch your tone doctor!” the voice said coldly. “Now find the wound.”

Eloise placed the phone on the ground and began searching Ty for where he’d been bitten. Nothing on the hands or arms. No rips on his shirt, or gouges or cuts to the face or neck. She patted down his chest feeling the slimy sweat oozing from his pores.

“It’s okay Ty, stay with me.”

Then she spotted the large rip in his trousers near the ankle. Gingerly moving it to reveal a nasty gash.

“Laceration, an inch or two deep on his left ankle. Blood loss.” She reported to the phone.

“Condition?”

“He’s unconscious, cold and sweaty.”

“Good,” the voice returned to the electronic. “We will be there to pick up within the hour.”

Eloise dropped the phone as it crackled, hissed and had a minor electrical seizure. “This can’t be good. Ty! TY! Wake up Ty! I need you to open your eyes Ty. I think you’re in great danger. Aw come on you stupid boy, wake up!”

Eloise ran to her desk and pulled out an EpiPen, a medical device keep on site for injecting epinephrine mainly for students with nut allergies. She took the pen and jammed it right into Ty’s neck. Like he’s been poked up the bum with an electric eel, Ty shot upright screaming.

“IT BIT ME! THAT BASTARD BIT ME!” Ty screamed.

Dr Calappa slapped him hard. “Stop! Focus! Breathe.”

Ty looked at his teacher. “What’s going on Doc?”

“Ty, I work for a secret research project attached to the US military. You have inadvertently become a part of it by being bitten by a radioactive Shame Faced Crab.” She helped him to his feet. “Now the people I work for are coming here to collect you. That means more than likely you will never see the light of day again. So you need to run.”

“I don’t understand,” Ty raised his hand to rub his eyes when he noticed his fingers were blackening. “What’s going on? I’m scared doc.”

“Ty, you are developing a mutation based on the DNA of the Shame Faced Crab. If I had more time, or this was done in a proper clinical matter, I could help properly but right now you need to hit me in the face and run as fast and as far from here.”

“But doc, my hand?”

“TY! The people I work for will CHOP off your hand to see WHY it’s doing what its doing!” Eloise pushed him hard in the chest. “You need to run.” Ty started to cry when Eloise slapped him again. “GO!”

Ty ran down the hall leaving the Dr Eloise Calappa alone in her little lab. She reached over and grabbed a large Erlenmeyer flask. “This is going to hurt,” as she lined it up with her face.

End of Issue #0

So many great options. May have to use several of them.

Not sure if I want to use this in an established universe or create my own. Got to get the creative flow going.

'Allow yourself to get bored.' ~Neil Gaiman

@cbishop: The story itself was attached to the art, I could give it to you separately, if you want?

@thenemianlion: is there a lion on the list in the original post of this thread? If there is then go ahead and post the story to this thread. If there's not then it's not eligible. Please pick one from the list and write a story from that. We'd love to have you. :)

@cbishop: There is a great white side character in the story.

@thenemianlion: Post it here! ;)

@batkevin74: Read your entry today while I was on my break. Straight up pulled a Spidey for your origin, and it was great... dangit. ;)

@cbishop: Pretty much

In the Himalayas, there is a large facility, thought to be holding peaceful conductions, but instead, it holds something vastly more sinister…

A lab with hundreds of pods lined up on the sides with a steel rod path in the middle, where experiments of Daniel’s work, a half animal half human beast.

Inside the structure, Daniel and a man in a lab coat, with a buzz cut walk through a hall way, where pods were lined up.

“You call this science? This is Imprisonment!” Daniel yelled out

“Sometimes Daniel, they’re one in the same” The Doctor replied

“You knew the terms we agreed to, safe conditions, that was the only way I would give you my research!” Daniel retaliated

“This project is being shutdown! NOW!” Daniel continued as he got up close to the doctor… Who was holding something behind his back… A syringe…

“I’m afraid I cannot possibly… Do that my friend!…” The Doctor explained as he dug the syringe into Daniel rendering him unconscious.

Time passed as Daniel woke up in the pod, it was filled with some sort of… Liquid… Daniel struggles but he could barley move in this… His belt and sword have been removed, on a bench close to the pod…

“I’m sorry Daniel but I cannot let you stop me, this tube, it is going to mutate you, even further into an monster, you left me with no choice” Daniel tries to break free to no avail “Looks like The Lionman wasn’t prepared this time” The Scientist walks out of the room.

Daniel Grows and grows and grows until he turns into the Lionman, he punches the glass but somehow it just won’t break, he hits it harder and harder, until his nose enlarges, his manes covers more in his back and he grows five inches taller, he turns into a real Lionman!

He shatters the glass with a enraged massive punch, he falls to the floor with the liquid going everywhere, he gasped for air as he reverted back to his human form, a T.V monitor turned on, it was the Doctor.

“Oh you like that? Well my friend one moment ore and you would have been permanently mutated even further, into a monster, but ask anyone of my TEST SUBJECTS what they already think of you… A MONSTER!” The doctor explained as the T.V turned off.

“You’ll see how much of a monster… I… Really… AM!” He said as he picked up the sword and belt and used it to form his armour.

Lionman walks down the path he was on before no sign of the scientist, but soon enough and surely enough, a Sharkman is released from a pod, “RRRREAWWWWR!!!” The Sharkman lunges at Lionman, ripping into Lionman’s shoulder “AHH!!!” Lionman roars.

Lionman roars as he hits the Sharkman with double handed smashes three times on the back of the beast to get him off him, Lionman slowly regenerates from the bite.

“Damn it listen, I am not the bad guy here Dr Regal is, the scientist who brought you here!” The Shark man and Lionman continue to trade blows with each other neither giving an inch “Dr Regal changed my life!... FOR THE BETTER! I AM GREAT WHITE!

“The Doctor, he will enslave you, and use you for his own course, trust me; I don’t want to have to hurt you” Lionman remarks with his sword in hand

“GO FOR IT RICH-BOY!” The two collide with hard punches and kicks, eventually they seperate, they collide again Sharkman kicking Lionman in the gut and Lionman putting his sword through Sharkman’s stomach.

“Y-you’ll heal big guy” He says as he takes the sword out of him, Lionman panting “I am not resting till that scientist pays!”

He walks further down the hall way as he is greeted by a man… 6 ft6 about 275 pounds with dark black long messy hair, he had a closed biker jacket and Cargo pants and boots.

“I’d love to stay and chat… But I have a doctors appointment… If you will” Daniel warned this man.

“Don’t worry, your death wont take to long” The mysterious man replied as he quickly rushed himself forward to quickly for Daniel to possible react, he hit Daniel with a running knee to the face and elbowed his atoms apple when Daniel was on the ground

"You don't remember me? Well what a crying shame!" He said as he used one of his knifes to rip open Daniel's atoms apple

“Burfagma” Daniel replied as the man’s eyes widened and turned back to Daniel in shock, almost fear.

“I-impossible!” The man said as he got back into position. “You wont get back up a second time! the rushed back at the King of the Jungle.

Daniel morphed into the Lionman as he had a look of rage in his eyes “ROUND TWO!”

The man enlarged as he morphed into a Tiger Like Beast and replied "YOUR FUNERAL!"

Lionman rushed at him with hard hooks, Tigerman replies with uppercuts and claw slashes and hard kicks, Lionman threw him through a vacant pod and started walking away, but the Tiger pounced on the back of the Lion.

He sliced his high back and shoulder blades, where his armour did not protect him, and then the back of his knees, he attempted to break his neck but his armour gave off an electric shock of a million volts, but it shorted out…

“What the hell! That had to be luck!” Lionman said as he kneed the Tiger directly in the gut which made him burst into the air and caught him with one arm holding his leg and the other on his throat, and slammed him to the ground!

He then went for a punch but he got him in a guillotine choke, applying pressure to the neck and shoulder, as his arm made a defining snap and went limp.

Tigerman then tried to claw his neck but Lionman maneuvered him into an one arm cross face clutch and in turn made the Tigerman’s arm break, he then grabbed his throat and hit him with a choke slam making the still floor dent.

“STAY THE HELL DOWN DAMN IT! YOU DON’T WANT THIS!”

Lionman thought he won but he was playing dead, he got back up and racked his eyes, so Lionman was swinging blindly, the man hit powerful grappling moves and swung Lionman around like a ragdoll.

Lionman tried going for a flying punch, but Tigerman indented his face with a straight punch to the face, blood was pouring as Lionman was on his hands and knees.

The Man stabbed Lionman in the back with both claws, and then went in for the finishing blow but Lionman sensed him and impailled his shoulder with his sword, punched him in the gut and rendered him unconscious with an elbow to the nose.

He noticed he had a collar, he realised immediately if he disobeyed the Doctor, he would kill Tigerman on the spot, Lionman broke the collar so at least the breaths that he took would be his own.

He reverted to base form as he walked down the corridor, he was limping from that fight and was still bleeding by an considerable amount from the throat, he kicked down the second door and saw the doctor.

“YOU!” Daniel shouted

“How ignorant can you be my friend?! Coming to me like this? You ARE stupid! You didn’t think I wouldn’t give myself any… Extra care?” The Doctor replied as he let off an maniacal laugh.

Daniel knew what was up and regretted not stopping to rest, he morphed himself into the Lionman as The Doctor was mutating… Into something… Scary…

“You can call me! OMNIMAL!!!” The doctor had the upper body of a bear, the mouth of a crocodile, the head of a bull the legs of a cheetah, but much bulkier to hold up his upper body and had wings of an eagle, with scales for protection, he was an 12 foot monster!

Lionman tried to tackle Omnimal but he didn’t budge, he picked Lionman up and threw Daniel through the table that he was working on “You’re going back into that pod!

And go back to that pod again, he was still in his Lionman form however, this time he couldn’t escape, that was until the man from earlier walked into the room and broke him out.

“You saved me, I saved you, let’s call that even… But after today, if you pursue me… I will kill you... It's Kohitsuji by the way...

Daniel looked in horror to see his childhood friend, who he trained with and looked to as a brother, not only is alive, but is here now "I-I thought... You died" Daniel teared up

"You thought Morganeth killed me, instead of helping me fend him off you ran! Like a coward! Do you know what he did to me?" Kohitsuji replied

"I am so... Sorry... I didn't know..."

"Whatever, we have a job to do, we can take out Morganeth later!" Kohitsuji pointed to a box on the wall, he opened it as he sliced the wiring with his knifes releasing all the mutants to fight amongst themselves, as they are very violent for the first hour after being mutated.

CRASH… SHREEEEK… THROOM! “That’s our queue!” as the two nodded and went into the hall way.

Lionman kicked open another door as Omnimal was at the end of the hall way, Lionman and Omnimal charged in a straight line as Tigerman took out anyone who attempted to get in between the two behemoths.

Lionman being more mutated than before tackled Omnimal again, this time it worked… Lionman had hard hooks applied to Omnimal, but Omnimal bit Lionman and took a chunk out of his shoulder.

Lionman screamed in anguish as Tigerman came to his aid, Omnimal laughed hysterically “I made you! You wouldn’t attack your master!” Omnimal tested Kohitsuji, Big mistake! Tigerman hooked Omnimal in the face so hard it sent him flying.

Tigerman speared Omnimal half way to hell and teared his wings off of his shoulders making Omnimal scream in pain, he hit powermove after power move on Omnimal then clawing his face.

Lionman stopped him “No! No killing!” Lionman told Kohitsuji as he was confused and actual hell, Omnimal got up and Lionman hooked him, and hit Omnimal with an Enzurgury kick knocking him out cold.

Lionman looked back, and Kohitsuji disappeared… There was a hole in the wall so he knew what happened. “I'm going to make this right my friend... Just not today."

I the hall way there was two factions of sorts, Lionman got in the middle.

One faction said “Kill him! He did this to us!”

The other replied “Let him pay for it by teaching us!”

The grey wolf charged at the blue one punching him square in the face, the blue on slashing the grey one in the eyebrow missing the eyeball “Enough!!!” Lionman used his technique named Lion roar and made them all fall over.

“Ok, you guys know that none of you have the firepower to beat me, so how about this, we go our seperate ways for today and the next time we cross paths, we fight!” Daniel asked the squadron

“NO!” The Grey Wolf shouted jumping at them with his teammates following

“Damn it!” Lionman tackled him out of the air and fought off the animals while half came to Lineman’s aid

They broke into a major fight again Lionman is injured so he is sitting it out in the corner for a little bit while Great white keeps defending and holding the line so they do not get to Lionman

“I’m sorry… You’re right” Great White admitted

The beasts keep on fighting as they all have a regenerative factor, Lionman get back up side Great White “Ok, lets finish this!”

At Blinding speeds Lionman hits all the villains pressure points at blinding speeds making them all still.

He shoots an flare up into the sky he found from a lab, a group of Heroes come to the safety with sleeping gas knocking all of the villains out.

“Thanks squadron one!” Daniel already reverted back from Lionman while taking a breather “At ease Daniel, well handle this” The leader of the squadron replies.

“Ok, lets get all these rouge animal guys to rehabilitation cells, and escort all of the ones who co-operated to Evolution Training grounds, they need to start training, as more and more villains will be on the run, I saw a few escape before the squadron came, so be alert soldiers.

Daniel returns to the Omega Force base and speaks with his father, Ultravox “Son, i’m feeling indifferent about this, while yes these enhanced people could help us, on the other hand, a good portion will fight against us.

“I am aware father, but the only option is to get as many of them on my side, and neutralise the rouges.” Daniel said as they went into their monitor room.

Red Alert, Red Alert, Danger, Danger! “Computer, report!” Daniel exclaimed “There appears to be the Lionman attacking the city”

“But i’m right here, that makes no sense!” Daniel replied “Computer track the location of this Doppleganger” Ultravox continued “Just two blocks away sir”

“This time I am going alone one on one, if it IS me, I am not risking any lives!” Daniel shouted “That is plain stu…” Ultravox tried to convince Daniel “stupid, I know, but it’s me, and I need to respect MY morals.

Daniel jump out of the training area all the way to the city, were the other Lionman is beating up a small group of evolutionary humans with ease.

The two just look each other dead in the eyes, and then they charge each other and punch each others fist.

Am I crazy or are people doing weird paragraphs in this contest?

Yes.

And yes.

;)

I formatted the paragraphs the way I did to separate different actions and quotes.

I believe it looks much better, cleaner and can help the reader to remember and take in more information provided.

What did you guys think of the story itself?

@thenemianlion: It jumps from one fight to the next without much other story. It gives just barely enough history to know what was going on. I would've liked to have seen a little more back story. It's not completely necessary though. You could tell more in later chapters. One thing I liked was that the mass escape set your hero up with lots of future foes. We'll see how it goes in the voting. :)

Sarah Saxby and the Immortal Jellyfish

It had been fought by many, the Picts, the Celts, the Vikings and the Scots, and while they had driven it back into the sea, it had never died. It had been known by many names. The Terror from Below, the Reckoning from the Deeps, and even some peasants had once called it the Immortal Jellyfish. It did not have a brain as one would understand it but it could understand the basic ideas of killing, and that for this abomination, that it was an act which it enjoyed. Although it could not think, the driving forces of evolution pushed it to adapt. It had tried to take over the small towns of the coasts in previous attacks, and although it didn't know time, it had taken centuries to rebuild. Its new form was better adapted to kill, as the sum would be greater than the whole.

-

Sarah Saxby walked home on the coastal path. She had been born in Edinburgh, but a strange twist of fate had drawn her to this small community on the remote island of Unst in the Shetland Islands. She had been an expert student her whole life, and she had dreamed of giving this gift back to the world as a teacher. A scientist by training, she had been studying education at the University of Edinburgh, until one day her world fell apart. At first she had thought it was a dream, and then she thought that she had gone crazy, but she eventually learned that she could here the thoughts in other people's heads - all of the people, all of the time, and the sound was deafening to her. What was worse was that she knew that she could influence other people's thoughts, and so she did not even know anymore if someone was thinking their own thoughts, or if they were thinking hers.

She could sleep only two hours per night, and she had to distance herself from the people that she had cared about. Her boyfriend left her because of the lack of contact, and she cried herself to sleep every night, at least on those nights that the voices didn't keep her awake. She grew and overcame the constant noise, to the point where she could tolerate it and even control it, and she managed to finish school. There were government programs available for teachers to go to the remote islands in the North Sea to teach, and while others took the offer for the financial benefits she needed to do it to escape from the noise of the city.

She was happy to be alone, the small town that she lived in had no more than 40 people, and while she was friendly with them, she was distant as well. It was at moments like this, when she was walking back from school that she could hear nothing except the waves on the coastal path to the small cottage that passed for her home. It was as close to peace that she had known.

-

Sarah rounded a corner on the path and had to stop for a moment to be sure of what she was looking at. It had the shape of a man but it was not a man. There were two arms and two legs and the general shape of a head, but aside from that it was the strangest thing that she had ever seen. It had an amorphous body, and it was transparent, not completely like glass, as it had some degree of opacity. It was also tall, bigger than her by at least two heads. One might say that it was terrifying, but as Sarah had learned to control the voices, she had learned to control fear, and so this thing before her made her more curious than cautious, even though she could sense that it was dangerous.

"What are you?" she asked it, thinking the thoughts through her mind.

"Kill," it replied.

"Kill is not a thing," she said. It paused for a moment, this type of communication was unknown to the creature.

"Kill," it said again and moved threateningly towards her.

"You will not kill," she said to it, as it stopped where it stood. She had not wanted to, but she was now controlling the creature with her mind.

"You will tell me what you are?" she said.

"I am not something, we are something," it said, "we are kill."

"What is we?" she asked.

"We is the mass below, waiting to kill," it said, "and we will kill."

"How many are you?" she asked.

"I am the first of many," it answered, "and we will kill."

Sarah did not know what to do, and could think only in terms of the extreme danger that this creature posed. It was not something that she could handle, but she knew that she would have to find a way.

"No," she said, "you won't. You are mine now, and I will use you as a I like, and you will not kill. You will take me to the rest of you, and I will stop you."

Not my best, but I had to squeeze it in before going to work today.

@blueecho: Nice. Immortal Jellyfish is one of my favorite names on the list.

@xlr87t3, @heroesgold, @mikesterman, @mbcb2001, @bigsambino87, @wellnavy, @thefortress, @kingghetto, @kingkarate, @imperiouswrecks, @rushnoir, @phillip33, Just calling out some of the faces newer to the board (newer to me, anyway) to let you know that the Character Creation Contests are open to everyone. We'd love to have you all join in. See the OP. :)

@cbishop: Thanks for reminding me. My school started back this week, and I am already working on two other stories, so I forgot to continue the story I started for this contest.

@cbishop: Proof that ImpurestCheese is a female?

@xlr87t3: her word over the years is enough for me.

@cbishop: lol ok

Okay, minor typos aside I liked this. It was silly but also held some menace which is saying something given the nature of the antagonists. This is my biggest (really only) issue with the entire story--

And the police officer who found the comic could have sworn that the cover was made out of some sort of animal leather.

He wasn't entirely wrong.

It was made out of skin.

This is so bad. Just reading the animal leather tells us they made it out of the guys skin. The last two lines kill it though. Its borderline insulting honestly. You know what? You could snip the last line and save the second to last it would still be a bit creepy. That last line though, nah. Beyond unnecessary. Otherwise a really good read.

@wildvine: Yeah, I been thinking about getting rid of the skin part. But I was worried that some might not get the idea. Sometimes I think I'm subtle, but then I find out that no one understood what I tried to imply at all.

But I don't feel comfortable about it, so it's off.

Thanks for your comment. As usual, you make me feel good and terrible about my own writing X)

@waezi2: I tried to be gentle. Really most of my notes were just typos that anybody could make.

@wildvine: You don't have to be gentle, I need to know what I do wrong so that I can get better.

One thing, though: Newsertainment is a word. Or at least a slang.

I enjoy stories where not so scary things becomes a threat, like RPG protagonists, magical girls, black and white cartoons and 90% of Batman's villains.

So I thought I would try making my own.

5th Column Comics: Heironymous in Indigo, Part 4 - Pink Dragon

Indigo City- hotel room of Agents Heironymous and Salt:

Heironymous shook Salt's shoulder lightly. "Hey, partner, time to wake up," he said low but commanding. When she stirred slightly and opened her eyes, he held out the bottle of water in his other hand, and reached into his coat pocket for two aspirins.

The bruised side of her face twitching slightly from the pain, she sat up and took the offered items from him. Putting the aspirins into her mouth one-at-a-time, she sipped the water, turned it over in her mouth a few times, and then swallowed. Clearly assessing her pain, she sipped a bit more, then said, "What time is it?"

"Noon," he answered.

"Looks like you've been up and about for awhile," she said sleepily, rolling her neck back and forth gingerly until it popped.

"Since about three," he acknowledged. "I got a text from the Prince. He said you got here about eight last night. You ready to get back to work?"

"Back to...?" she said groggily, gathering her thoughts. "Are we going back to the foundry?"

"No," said Heironymous. "We caught a case."

"Heading back to Washington then?" she said.

"The case is here," he said, reaching into the closet for one of Salt's suits.

"Here?" she said, sounding genuinely confused.

"The Indigo City International Bank and Trust was robbed last night. They need us there to represent the Treasury."

"What'd they get," she said, taking the suit from Heironymous, and motioning for him to turn around.

Turning to face the wall, he continued, "At first, they thought it was just the safety deposit boxes, but this morning they realized that all of the cash in the vault was gone too. About thirty-five million dollars."

Salt exhaled not quite in a whistle due to the swelling in her face, then groaned a gruff, disgusted noise. "Damned samurai," she whispered as she put on her shirt. Then louder, she asked, "How did they not notice a missing thirty-five million last night?"

"It looked like the cash hadn't been touched last night. Then they started inventorying it this morning, and they discovered that it was counterfeit."

"They didn't inventory it last night?" Salt said as she pulled on her slacks and cinched her thin belt.

"The vault was closed and locked. They assumed it hadn't been violated, and since it was on time lock, they couldn't check. Can I turn around now?" Heironymous asked.

"Yeah, but can you hand me my shoes, please?" she asked, pointing to her feet. "If I bend over to get them, the blood rush to my head makes my jaw pound."

"Here, let me," said Heironymous, lowering to one knee, and sliding her shoes onto her feet. Tying them, he smiled and said, "There you go, partner."

"Thanks," said Salt, as she adjusted the clasp on her watch. "How do they know the counterfeit money wasn't already there?"

"Indigo is unstable in almost every way right now," said Heironymous. "It's the closest to the Old West in the Modern City as you're likely to see. They can't afford for anything to happen to a bank covering their international investments and trade, so they inventory it every morning. Yesterday, the cash was all real."

Crystal swung her jacket around her shoulders and slid her arms into the sleeves in almost one fluid motion. Then she swayed a little, closing her eyes momentarily as she restored her balance.

Heironymous caught her by the elbow and asked gently, "Are you alright?"

"A little dizzy," confirmed Salt. "Docs suggested medical leave."

"You want to sit this one out?" asked her partner. "You know I can take care of myself."

"Like hell," she said. Handing him the keys off the dresser, she added, "But you drive."

Indigo City International Bank and Trust:

"I see what you were saying," Crystal said to Heironymous. "This looks pristine, aside from what they touched this morning."

"Yep," was all he said.

"Was anyone here? Security? Anyone hurt?" she asked.

"Two guards that time of night. They caught darts to the neck. Died quickly," said Heironymous, holding up the darts in an evidence bag.

"'Died?'" said Salt. "What the hell was on the darts?"

Heironymous took one and pressed it up against his fingertip through the bag. It didn't pierce his skin, but some of the poison secreted onto his finger, turning it pink. Looking at it for a few seconds, he said, "My guess would be hydrogen cyanide."

"That's a pretty specific guess, partner," Salt said, clearly expecting an explanation.

Heironymous sighed. "Seen it before. We're looking for a thief and assassin named Pink Dragon."

Crystal sighed and rolled her eyes. "Just how many dragons are there these days? Is she one of yours?"

"No," said Heironymous. "Not even from my neighborhood. She's from Thailand, home of the shocking pink dragon millipede. They secrete hydrogen cyanide that turns their shells a bright pink which is where she gets both the poison for her darts and her name."

"Exotic assassins. Greaaat," said Salt.

There was a rush of air and a pop between them, and there stood a woman in a bright pink costume. She quickly held up a sword to Crystal's chin. "Also an exceptional thief," she said smugly. Holding her free hand out to Heironymous, she said, "The darts. I really hate to leave them behind."

"Pink Dragon," said Heironymous. "This is just showing off."

"Well, it goes with my name," she said. "My full name," she added. "Shocking Pink Dragon!" and with that, an electric charge ran through the sword and left Salt twitching on the floor. Catching Heironymous by surprise, she snatched the bag of darts from his hand, and teleported away with another popping rush of air. Reappearing at the front door by a surprised detective, she touched him with the sword and shocked him before winking at Heironymous and saying, "Ta!" Then she teleported, and was gone.

Heironymous sighed. "Damn. As if Ascalon wasn't enough to deal with in this city."

And that, good folks, is time. Voting thread will be up soon.