Character Creation Contest #54 - Halloween Horror OC

Okay, I gotta be honest: I've been coming up blank on what to do for this contest. Then I heard this voice from out of the past saying, "And yet we have never done a Halloween contest."

Quite right, voice from out of the past! So Happy Halloween trick-or-treaters, because your OC this time around needs to be a Halloween horror- ghost, goblin, monster, nightmare, whatever, as long as it's scary! Here's your chance to create a new Halloween legend to put Slenderman to shame!

No word limit. Deadline is Sunday, November 6th @11:59PM New York time (Google search "ny time" if you're not sure).

Contestants:

Just helps me remember how many to look for when I do the voting thread.

@wildvine, please pin this and unpin the CCC 53 Voting Thread. Thanks. :)

Yes! My favorite holiday.

I've seen that picture on Deviant Art. Very cool.

Bout time we got a Halloween contest.

@stumpy49er: It was one of the top pics in my Google Images search for "Halloween art pics." I snagged it from there. Now that you mention it though, that is a cropped version of "Halloween" by SimonWeaner on DA. :)

@cbishop: I'm in

@cbishop: Am I allowed to use my OC Die Toten Braut if I write a new story about her?

@waezi2: Sorry, waezi, I haven't read your DTB storie yet. As long as she's a monster/ghoul/ghost of some sort, have at it! :)

@cbishop: When I'm done, what do I do with it? Do I send it on PM or something like that?

@waezi2: Just post it to this thread. I'll get them all from here and make a voting thread after the deadline.

Question, does it have to be inherently scary or Halloween themed, or can it be more about somebody scaring criminals and whatnot

@mikesterman: It needs to be a horror monster, and I'm looking for scary. If it's somehow only targeting criminals, well... I guess that's how it is.

April 1^st 1960, Camp Forest Green, New Jersey

“This is the story of The Census Taker. Back in 1940, the Department of Commerce, I think its Commerce, did their decadally…”

“Decadally isn’t a word, Kevin.”

“Well what’s it called when something happens once every ten years huh, Chris? It’s not annually!”

“Just tell your boring story so I can tell mine!” Chris sneered as he stoked the fire where the six kids were camped by the shore of the lake as their parents played bridge and drank in the cabin up the hill.

“It’s not boring, it’s all true!” Kevin protested. “My dad told me about it.”

“Your dad’s a mailman, what would he know?” Beth added.

“He’s bigger than your dad!” Kevin barked, jumping to his feet.

“Is not!”

“IS TOO!”

“IS NOT!!”

“IS TOO!!!”

“IS NOT!!!”

“IS…”

“HEY!”

The camp went quiet as Mr Vine poked his head out the cabin’s back door. “If you kids don’t keep it down…!”

“Sorry Mr Vine,” came the communal apology.

“Your dad’s mean,” Kevin whispered to Josh.

“Yeah,” Josh replied glumly as he threw some twigs onto the fire. “So keep it down.”

The sextet sat quietly for a few seconds as the fire crackled when Tommy farted, bringing peals of laughter from the all.

“You stink!” Beth shrieked.

“I know,” Tommy giggling fanning the smell in her direction. “Want some more?”

“NO!” they yelled as they covered their mouths with shirts and hands to stifle the smell and their laughter.

“Okay, The Census Taker…”

“Heard it!” Chris cried. “Now there was this old ma…”

“Just let Kevin tell his story,” Jenny piped up. She was often forgotten about because she was younger and quieter than the others, and her brother Chris was so loud and boisterous.

“Thank you Jenny,” Kevin winked. “So shut up Chris okay?”

Chris rolled his eyes and scowled at his little sister who promptly stuck her tongue out.

“The Census Taker. So every ten years, the government counts everyone. They send out these guys to knock on your door and ask you questions. Then they take all that back to this big room in Washington and find out the answers.”

“Answers to what?” Josh asked.

“How old you are, how many cats you have, did you go to school…”

“Why would the government want to know how many cats I have?” Beth questioned. “That’s silly.”

Kevin shrugged. “I dunno but that’s what adults do, ask dumb questions. But this time one of their guys had a metal break down.”

“You mean mental break down.” Chris corrected.

“I said mental!”

“Did not!”

“Keep it down!” Josh warned. “Just tell the story Kevin.”

“So one of the census guys…”

“What was his name?” Chris interrupted.

“I don’t know.”

Chris rolled his thirteen-year old eyes. Kevin shook his head, pushed his glasses up his nose and continued. “He’d gone crazy from looking at all the questions. So they locked him up.”

“And he escaped and killed everyone. The end!” Chris stated. “Dumb!”

“Just shut up Chris!” Jenny snapped. “Stop being such a jerk!”

“Yeah shut up Chris!” Kevin added and was soon joined by the others. In a huff Chris kicked dirt on the fire and stomped off back to the cabin.

“Baby!” Beth yelled after him.

Tommy and Josh rekindled the fire as Kevin gave Jenny a reassuring pat on the shoulder. “Okay, where was I? Oh yeah. He’s in the asylum. Ten years he’s been there losing his mind, talking to the walls when he manages to escape. And guess what he does? He goes right back to his old job?”

“Why?” Beth scratched her head.

“Because he’s crazy! He goes back to work like nothing is wrong. And nobody even notices because he looks different.”

“Different? Like a monster?” Tommy asked.

Kevin stood up, acting out his words. “No, he’s got a shaved head and he’s all skinny because they only feed you soup in the mental house. And these scars on his wrists where he tried to write the answers to all the questions with his fingers because they don’t give crazy people pencils. So every day for ten years, he’d carved up his arms like carved turkey meat.”

“GROSS!” Tommy gasped.

“So this guy gets his census stuff and gets in his car. Starts driving from town to…”

“Did they have cars in the forties?” Josh asked.

“A few.” Kevin said moving on. “So he drove around, listening to the voices in his head and he’d pull up at a house at night and go ask them questions.”

“That’s not scary,” Beth said.

“But when he asked them questions if you got one wrong…HE’D KILL YOU AND EVERYONE IN THE HOUSE!”

They all looked at Kevin and his attempt to scare them. Jemmy, his ardent supporter, looked at him. “Is that it?”

“Um, yeah.” Kevin said sheepishly.

“BOO!” They all jumped as Chris leapt from the darkness. Beth screamed, Jenny screamed, Tommy farted and Chris burst into laughter. “Ha ha ha you were all so scared.”

“Jerk!” Josh muttered.

“Told you Kevin’s story was dumb!” Chris remarked. “Now who’s ready for a real story.”

“I gonna thump you!” Kevin stated.

“Oh yeah! Try it four eyes!”

Kevin and Chris squared off, circling almost comically around the fire.

“DAD! DAD!” Josh bellowed. Quickly Kevin and Chris stopped.

“What’d you do that for?” Chris said.

“I just want to tell some ghost stories and have fun but every time, you two just start acting like jerks! I’d rather go inside.”

The kids looked up at the cabin awaiting the roaring behemoth known as Josh’s dad to thunder out and give them what for. Seconds ticked by. It turned into a minute and nothing.

“Somethings not right,” Beth said.

“I don’t like this,” Jenny echoed as she sidled up next to Beth.

“Maybe the Census Taker got them,” Kevin blurted out.

“In a holiday cabin in the woods?” Chris scoffed.

“He’s crazy y’know.”

“Let’s just go see,” Tommy said. Quietly and as a bunch they moved up the hill to the cabin. Every step made a sound that put the hairs on the back of their necks up, every awkward out of sync breath made their imaginations run wild.

“Maybe they’re asleep?” Beth suggested.

“Maybe a bear ate them,” Chris taunted. “Rowr!”

“Hope a bear eats you,” Josh mumbled.

“Did you see that!?” Tommy yelped at pointed at some shadows dancing in the window.

“Oh my god its ghosts!” Kevin whimpered.

“D…” Chris clamped his hand over Josh’s mouth.

“If there IS a bear in there eating them, don’t go yelling, it’ll come after us.”

Josh forced the hand away. “It’s not a bear.”

Again they stalked up to the cabin. The wooden steps creaked under their combined weight. Slowly they crept up and over to the window and peered in.

“OH!”

“MY!”

“GOD!”

There lying on the floor were their parents; naked and united in a group. Mr. Vine was pushing Mrs. Bishop across the floor from behind, whilst Mr. Barker and Mr. Bishop were building a human bridge with Mrs. Black. Mrs Vine and Mrs Smith were on their knees praying as Mr Goldberg held their heads. And Mr Black was pushing Mrs Goldberg over the breakfast bench.

“What are they doing?” Beth asked.

“Chris? Why is mom bouncing up and down on Kevin’s dad?” Jenny whispered.

Tommy watched as Mr Vine grabbed his mother’s hair and pulled her head back as he pushed her across the floor. “Nobody hurts my mom!” he vowed and turned, smack bang into a man standing behind them.

“Hello there,” said the rakishly thin man in a black suit with dark sunken eyes.

“W-who are you?” Kevin blurted out as the kids caught site of the man holding a briefcase who'd crept on them.

“I’m Ted.” He smiled raising his hand to tip his hat, revealing some nasty scars on his wrist. “I’m here to ask your parents some questions.”

@cbishop:

My story is called "Die Toten Braut: Alles Ist Hin"

Can I make a plot suggestion? What if she met the spirit one year later? Her being angry is fine, but for her to become so murderous feels rushed. Being alone in a creepy forest for a year could drive a ghost insane. Especially learning after all that time that Hans was getting married to someone new. Also, how does Hans family not know about Victoria? That doesn't make sense. Hans family would have had to meet Victoria, so her death followed by a new girl literally the next day would be suspicious. Also also, how would Hans be courting two girls at once?

But if he knew this other girl, than he could start courting her some time after Victoria being killed. Even using her "disappearance" for sympathy to get close to this girl, and spend a year courting her, planning a wedding, etc.

@wildvine: No, not all Germans are nazis, but close to every nation in the world has hated jews for centuries.

Hans wouldn't have been the first man in history to keep an affair secret.

The rest, I agree, sloppy. But I am rewriting it as we speak... post... whatever, as well as explaining how Victoria got weapons.

@wildvine: I made the story take place in Germany so I could use the word "die" in the title, not to make Victoria a nazi.

@waezi2:

Hans wouldn't have been the first man in history to keep an affair secret.

Really. REALLY? Are you telling me he somehow kept Victoria a secret from Adele's family, and kept Adele a secret from Victoria's family? And somehow managed to have enough time to plan TWO weddings. And wouldn't Victoria's family get suspicious if he got married to another girl the day after she disappeared? Would his family not ask him about Victoria when she disappeared? Would he hide her (Adele) from Victoria's family? Wouldn't that make Adele wonder why he was hiding her? Or did Victoria keep him a secret for some reason? Just saying "one year later" would easily fix this. Or six months later. Some amount of time later. I can believe a woman can make a Faustian pact and come back as a zombie of vengeance. I cannot believe a guy can court two women at once if he is also holding a job.

"He doesn't have a job he has money"

Well he sure isn't rich since he didn't have enough money to present as a dowry to Adele's family. Therefore he has limited funds. Also how is he marrying Adele if his family thought he didn't have the money? And if they thought he had the money than what is he doing when he isn't courting Adele? And if he does have a job when does he have time to court them both and sleep?

"Maybe he has enough to live on but not enough for the dowry"

Than why doesn't Adele's family wonder where he suddenly got flush with cash? Again, just suggesting a passage of time greater than one day would cover this. The issue is not a secret lover. The issue is literally leading two different lives somehow equally. If he didn't have to buy stuff for Victoria he would probably have enough to pay for Adele.

Okay, she's not a Nazi. Just a German racist. I stand corrected.

@wildvine: As I said, it was sloppy, and I'm fixing it as we post... Speak... Yeah.

@waezi2: I didn't say it was sloppy. If I thought this was sloppy I wouldn't have read it at all, let alone offer ways to make it better.

@waezi2: @wildvine: Dannnnng, Wv, you caught a whole lot of stuff there that I apparently slept on. Nice job. In fairness though, I know a lady who was married to a guy that carried on with multiple lovers in multiple cities, and kept her in the dark for years. That was with a job and without being rich. So it's possible to fool everyone for awhile, but the lies do eventually catch up (as it did for him, when his wife found out).

Now Waezi', that is said after putting aside the other discrepancies that Wv pointed out. You shot this story full of holes (and again- I'm wondering at how I missed them now that Wv has pointed them out [nice job again, Wv]). I think maybe you got excited about where the story was going, and failed to think through the path you took to get there. Never a good idea.

Perhaps I was stuck on all of the weapons DTB was carrying. That simply didn't make sense to me. If she's now a supernatural power, I'd expect something much more supernatural to enact her revenge.

However, now that I've said that- at least you've put in an entry, which I have yet to do. Working on it. ;)

@cbishop:

Dannnnng, Wv, you caught a whole lot of stuff there that I apparently slept on. Nice job. In fairness though, I know a lady who was married to a guy that carried on with multiple lovers in multiple cities, and kept her in the dark for years. That was with a job and without being rich. So it's possible to fool everyone for awhile, but the lies do eventually catch up (as it did for him, when his wife found out).

Okay, but was he marrying two women, or did he marry one than cheat with others? Because those are slightly different things. Now yes, I guess Hans could technically be doing this, but he is planning to marry two women within a day of each other. And furthermore Victoria's father doesn't like Hans. So who is he going to point the police to when Victoria turns up missing? And a (presumably) large sum of riches going missing would be discovered as well.

Overall, this situation isn't impossible, just not believable with the plot holes. The weapons were odd, but *shrug* I was gonna let that one slide. Some things are just easier to go with. But since you bring it up, having her dispatch people in supernatural ways could have been more interesting.

Tim Drake- Teen Detective in

A Halloween Mystery

Alternate Earth- Gotham City

Tim Drake ditched his last class at Gotham High. He was already acing all his classes and he had to follow up on a police report he heard on his scanner last night. A girl had gone missing. Jamie Lloyd, who attended Gotham Junior High. She was only three years younger than him.

He went to Gotham PD and talked to Detective Gordon. She had always allowed him to help work on her cases, since they both had a mutual acquaitance in Bruce Wayne.

"I'm busy right now, Tim." Barbara said. "What do you want?"

"What's going on with the Jamie Lloyd case?" he asked.

"Tim, jeez, just because we both have a Robin Grant from the Prince of Gotham.." Barbara started.

"It's more than just a grant, Barbara. Bruce only gives that out to people who earn it." he responded.

"Ha. Yeah, like the movie star?" she chided.

"Dick Grayson is a hero to a lot of people," Tim said. "He was an orphaned as a teenager, became a blue collar stunt man, until he got his big break in the film Star Spangled. Since then he's done a lot of work for orphans and at risk youth."

"Okay, okay. I forgot I was talking to his biggest fan," Barbara said. "Listen kid, I know you'll be a hell of a detective when you're old enough but right now I need to focus. Jamie's been missing for over twelve hours now. I've been up all night. My dad keeps telling me to go home but I can't.."

"I've talked to her friends. I can help you," Tim said. "Do you have any suspects?"

"Everyone's focused on her estranged dad." she replied. "It doesn't seem right though. She has a psychotic uncle but he's in Arkham.."

"Didn't Arkham just have a breakout?" Tim asked.

"Yeah, I looked into that." she said. "But her uncle Michael is still in Arkham. He never talked to the other inmates either; as far as his psychiatrist told me, he's mute." She pulled out a file and put it on the desk. "As for the inmates, there's Edward Nigma, doesn't quite fit his profile but I'm not ruling any of these men out; Abner Krill, the polka dot bandit, he was already caught this morning; Julian Day, he's probably planning something for Halloween; and then there's Arnold Etchinson, also known as Abattoir. He's the one I'm most worried about."

Tim picked up Abattoir's profile and began reading it.

Psychiatrist: Professor Hugo Strange.

Known associates: Kai aka Hellhound, Preston Payne, Sondra Fuller.

All known relatives deceased.

Barbara grabbed this profile away from Tim.

"Damn it, Drake." she scolded. "I don't want you getting involved in this. It's too dangerous. Go dress up for Halloween. Go be a kid. I don't need you getting hurt trying to help us."

"I'm trying to help Jamie." Tim said. "You can use my help. How does Etchinson know Kai? I already know his connection to famous actors Preston Payne and Sondra Fuller. It was all over the news when Abattoir kidnapped their baby. I doubt they'll aid him more. What's his connection to Hellhound?"

Barbara sighed. "Listen. We've been grilling Abner Krill all day about the other escapees. We'll find Etchinson. I'm still not sure if it was him who took Jamie. Maybe it was her dad."

"Her friends told me Jamie thinks her dad died a while ago." he replied. Barbara lifted her eyebrow. Tim continued, "Her best friend Rachel told me she thinks it was her uncle."

Barbara shook her head. "Well, if Rachel says so.." she looked at Tim, who was dead serious. "Like I say, her uncle's still in Arkham. According to his doctor, he had no contact with the other inmates, plus he's mute."

"Who's his doctor?" Tim asked.

"I can't tell you that." she replied.

"Is it Hugo Strange?" he asked.

Barbara sighed. "You're good."

"That's the same doctor as Arnold Etchinson's." Tim said.

"I've already talked to Strange." Barbara said. "He told me the two never had any contact."

"Do you trust him?" he asked.

She laughed. "Hugo Strange? No. Something strange about him and it's not just that name."

"There is a connection." he said. "What do you know about Hellhound? It's the only known associate of Abattoir who might be willing to aid him."

"I already told you.." Barbara started.

"I won't look into it alone. I promise you. I have backup." he replied.

"I don't know why I bother." she said, reaching into her desk and retrieving a folder. "You're not going to like it kid."

Tim looked at Hellhound's profile.

..sold Abattoir pit bulls, which were used to eat his victims alive..

Tim felt sick.

"Told you, you weren't going to like it." Barbara said. "Listen kid. I want to find her too but I don't want you getting killed. These are bad men. I don't know who your backup is, I don't care. Leave this to the authorities."

**

Kai's Junkyard- Midnight

Tim waited for his back up. He wore a black, hooded sweater and carried his retractable bo staff. He scoped out the junkyard as he waited.

"Yo brat. You waiting on me?" came a brash voice from behind him.

Tim spun around, wielding his bo staff as his friend came up from behind him, wearing a red ski mask.

"Damn, Jason, you scared me." he replied. Jason stood a foot taller than Tim and was about four years older.

Jason had lived a rough life, yet somehow had been one of the few people alive to receive the Robin Grant from Bruce Wayne. Jason was also unique in that he's the only person to tear up the grant and throw it in Bruce's face, claiming the wealthy elite are the real problems with the world.

Tim didn't agree with Jason's views but he always respected him.

They had met after Tim had received the Robin Grant. Jason contacted him trying to convince Tim that Wayne Enterprises had shady business dealings and that the Robin Grant was merely Bruce Wayne's way of saving face to the public.

Tim disagreed with Jason. He had done his own research on Bruce and believed him to be an upstanding person who cared for the less fortunate.

Not only had Bruce lost his parents at a young age but in his early adulthood, he had lost is father figure when The Clown murdered his butler Alfred.

Tim felt a great deal of empathy for Bruce.

Tim retracted his bo staff as Jason walked up to him.

"That all you brought, kid?" Jason asked, then he reached in his leather jacket with both hands and pulled out two semi automatic pistols. "You come to this part of the neighborhood and plan on breaking into a place like that, you better come packing."

"I don't like guns." he replied. "Thanks for the help. We need to break in there and find out what Kai knows about Abattoir."

"Yeah, no problem. I'm doing this for the girl," he said. "Also, to find out what's going on with Arkham. I've had my eye on the Professor Strange for awhile now."

The two vigilante's jumped the fence. As soon as Tim landed on the ground he heard dogs barking. Big ones.

Tim ran as fast as he could toward the nearest car pile. He unsheathed his bo staff to full length and used it to pole vault his way onto it. He looked back and saw several pit bulls running toward him, while more ran towards Jason, who stood out in the open, pulled out his pistols and began shooting the junkyard dogs.

Hellhound came running out of the main building, carrying a shotgun, followed by three other armed men. "My dogs are hungry, boys. Let's give them something to eat." he yelled.

'This is not good.' Tim thought, as he watched Jason gun down all the dogs in the yard, then began replacing his bullets, while behind Tim, the four armed men walked straight towards Jason.

As soon as Hellhound and his goons were in view of Jason and began to point their guns at him, Tim pole vaulted himself right towards them, landing on top of Hellhound, he swung his bo staff at the nearest thug, breaking his nose. Then Tim smacked the gun out of another man's hand while simultaneously hitting another thug in the groin. The unarmed thug tackled Tim to the ground. The other two thugs grabbed their guns and pointed it at Tim.

Two shots fired. The two armed thugs hit the ground.

The thug sitting on top of Tim looked back at his two dead friends, then over at Jason, who pointed pistol at him.

Bang

The other thug hit the ground.

Tim stood up. "What the heck? Why did you kill them?" he yelled at Jason.

"They would have killed you, kid." he replied. "Don't act surprised. You know my reputation."

Hellhound stood up silently as the two yelled at each other. Grabbing his knife he slid behind Tim, grabbed him and held the knife to his throat.

"You killed my dogs, Red Hood." he yelled at Jason. "You'll pay for that."

Jason pointed his guns at Hellhounds head. "Try me."

"Don't kill him." Tim demanded. "We need information."

"Information? You want information from me?" Hellhound asked. "All I know is I'm sitting in my office counting my money, when all of a sudden two punk kids come into my back yard and start shooting up my merchandise."

"We need to know who you last sold your merchandise too." Tim asked.

"Why should I tell you?" Hellhound asked. "I keep my clients a secret."

"That's not what I heard." Jason replied.

"We know you've sold to Abattoir before." Tim asked. "Did you sell any dogs to him recently?"

"Recently? I don't know. Maybe I did. Maybe I didn't." Hellhound replied. "What's in it for me? You already owe me for those dogs you killed."

"Abattoir kidnapped a young girl." Tim said. "If he bought dogs from you, he'll use them on her. We need to know where she is."

Hellhound gripped Tim harder with the blade, blood trickled down his neck. "Like I said, boy, what's in it for me?"

"I have money." Tim said.

"It'll take about five hundred grand to pay me what you owe me." Hellhound replied.

"I don't have that." Tim replied. "I can give you twenty grand. That's it."

"Not enough." Hellhound said.

"What do you think will happen if you kill me? Maybe you'll get away from my friend? He's a good shot." Tim said. Hellhound looked at Jason and smiled. Tim continued, "Even if you get away from us, what do you think will happen if your dogs kill the girl? If that happens, The Bat will come after you."

Hellhounds confidence waned. "Heh, The Bat? He ain't real."

"Yes. He is. I know how to contact him." Tim replied. "I sent him what I already know about this case. If he finds out you helped Abattoir kill some girl, he will come after you with everything he's got."

Jason spoke up. "Did you ever hear what happened to The Clown? Some say he's hanging upside down in The Bat's cave. Still alive, barely, getting his blood sucked out everyday."

Hellhound weakened his grip.

Tim Drake grabbed Hellhounds hand and pulled, while sweeping his leg under, flipping the larger man to the ground.

Hellhound bounced back up, knife still in his hand.

Jason shot Hellhounds hand, the knife flew to the ground.

"Tell us what you know." Jason demanded.

**

Park Row District- An abandoned hotel.

"This is it." Tim said. "The Hotel Langstrom. The last owner of the hotel, Kirk Langstrom, went on a rampage and killed his family. Detective James Gordon said in his report that Kirk heard bats screeching in the attic. He claimed in his journal he was The Bat and the bats in the attic had told him to kill his family before he jumped off the roof, thinking he could fly. Scary part of the story is that apparently Kirk was completely deaf. So what did he hear that drove him insane?"

Jason looked at Tim and shook his head. "Too much information."

Tim shrugged. "What? I thought it was worth noting."

The two heroes walked cautiously into the hotel lobby. Jason had both guns loaded and in each hand. Tim gripped his bo staff.

As they walked towards the lobby desk, something began waling towards them.

It was a gigantic pit bull.

"Damn!" Jason said as he pointed his pistol at the dog. "Didn't want to start this right away."

Tim grabbed Jason's arm. "Wait!"

The pit bull walked right up to Tim. It had a passive look on its face.

Tim held out his hand. The pit bull licked it.

"I don't get it?" Jason said. "Hellhound said these things were bred and trained for murder. Why is it so.. nice?"

"I don't know." Tim said as he walked towards the stairwell. "Let's find out. Abattoir should be in the basement. Based on his profile, that's where he takes his victims."

The stairwell was shut tight. Blocked from the other side.

"We're going to have to take the elevator." Tim said.

"Great!" Jason sighed. "Guess we're announcing ourselves after all."

The two rode the elevator down to the basement. The music played a scratchy Fur Elise by Beethoven.

"Power still works for this? There is a lot wrong going on here." Jason pointed out.

As the elevator came to a stop it gave a very loud "DING!"

The doors opened.

Arnold Etchison stood before them with a big grin. His long red hair draped over his white suit.

"Welcome to the Hotel Langstrom!" he said.

Jason Todd pointed both pistols right at Abattoir's head. "Where is she?" he yelled. "Where is the girl, you fracking monster."

Abattoir smiled wide. "Oh fret not, my dear boys. She's right this way."

Tim Drake had a bad feeling in his stomach. The restrained pit bull upstairs. Had they already eaten? Why was Abattoir greeting them? Did he kill Jamie Lloyd? He looked at Jason Todd and could tell his friend was thinking the same dark thoughts.

Abattoir led them to boiler room.

He opened the door and sitting, tied to a chair was the girl.

Relief flooded over Tim as he saw her smile at them.

She was still alive.

Surrounded by large pit bulls.

Fear came back to Tim as one of the pit bulls walked towards Jamie. It licked her hand, then put it's head on her lap.

"I wish I could pet you, sweet Carol. It's too bad Mr. Etchison has my hands tied up." Jamie said to the pit bull.

"Oh my, I forgot to untie you." Abattoir began, before walking over to Jamie with with a long, sharp blade.

BLAM

Jason Todd shot Abattoir in the head. Blood splattered all over the pit bulls and Jamie Lloyd. Neither of whom twitched in the slightest at the action.

Tim Drake fell back in shock.

"What? What did you?" Tim started.

Jason looked back at Tim. "He moved towards her with that knife. I had too."

"Poor Mr. Etchison." Jamie said. "He thought killing his family would cure the evil in the world. My poor uncle Michael is the same way. Mr. Etchison wanted the doggies to eat me." Jamie giggled. "I showed them a better way. Violence isn't the answer. They wanted to eat me, at first. Now they just want to be my friends."

"What happened, Jamie?" Tim asked.

"I don't go by Jamie Lloyd anymore." she said. "I go by the name Hallow! I bring delight into this world. Peace is my gift."

Jason put his gun away, then asked. "What happened to Abattoir?"

"He was an evil man, before he met me." Hallow said. "He wanted to kill me and many more. Then he sat down with me and I blew softly in his face, as I did with the doggies. All the violence and hatred in his heart left at that moment. He was a good man, before you killed him. He would have untied me, had he not heard the elevator. He was so excited to greet people with his new perspective on life, he simply forgot to untie me. Speaking of which, would one of you please do me the honors?"

The pit bulls reared their heads at the two heroes after she said this.

"Of course, I'll hel.." Tim started.

"Don't bother." Jason said. "I got this."

Jason grabbed Abattoir's knife, bent down and began cutting Hallow's ropes.

She looked in Jason's face as he finished cutting the ropes.

She spoke, "You also have violence in your heart."

She blew an orange mist into Jason's face.

Jason stood up immediately, holding up the knife, "What the hell did you do?"

Hallow smiled as she stood up. "I gave you a gift."

Jason lowered the knife. Looking at Tim he spoke, "Red Robin."

It was their secret word to each other if something went wrong. It meant 'Run'.

Tim Drake turned and ran towards the elevator. Hallow let out an inhuman wail as Jason slammed the boiler room door shut, blocking Hallow and her doggies from following his friend.

Tim jumped in the elevator and pressed the Lobby button. The door slowly closed as the pit bulls began howling. They came running out of the boiler room at top speed, straight for Tim, teeth gnashing.

The door closed just in time. The pit bulls crashed against the door. He heard gun shots fire.

The elevator slowly rose to the lobby. He sprang out of the elevator and ran through the lobby. The remaining pit bull in the lobby ran straight towards him. Tim used his bo staff to pole vault over the pit bull. Explosions rang out from underneath them. The pit bull looked confused, Tim ran as fast as he could for the entrance door.

Tim ran out of the Hotel Langstrom, slamming the entrance door behind him.

**

Later that night.

The Hotel Langtsrom burned to the ground.

Detective Barbara Gordon interviewed Tim.

"Damn it, Tim. I told you not to get involved in this."

Tim clutched his bo staff. Barbara gave him a mug of hot cocoa.

"Drink this. It'll make you feel better." she said as she patted his shoulder. "The fire chief told me, there was only one human body. A few pit bulls but that's it. I'm betting the burned body is that of Arnold Etchison." Barbara explained. "Don't know what happened to Jamie or your friend."

Tim looked up into the night sky.

The Bat signal floated in the air.

The End

I know this^^^ will be a monster (pun intended) to read. It was a monster to write.

I'll do some editing before the voting thread is up but overall, I like what I wrote.

Thanks to anyone who takes the time to read. :)

@batkevin74: @waezi2: @stumpy49er: I've read them all so far. Waezi's has been discussed pretty extensively already. Batkevin's was campfire appropriate with... added levels of horror. And yours...I thought you'd forgotten the OC at first, until the end. Nice. :)

@cbishop: Yeah. The OC doesn't come in for quite some time. I was having too much fun with the alternate versions of established characters.

I definitely enjoyed the other two stories. Batkev's end was genius and Waezi's felt like a good episode (or issue) of Tales From the Crypt.

@cbishop: I just posted the prototype so that I was sure that even if I didn't have time to finish writing it in time that I would have something for the contest. I edited it recently, but not done.

As for the weapons; the bride's primary power is that she can take physical punishment without dying.

@cbishop: Edited. Hopefully better

Okay than. The edits are fine. I didn't personally care where she got the weapons, but its a nice explanation. The dialogue is mostly good, minus Victoria's over-the-top villain monologue. The story itself is a classic revenge from beyond type story, and I like. However there's no characters to like except Adele and her only purpose is to die. Hans is an ass and Victoria is a racist, so I don't care that she died, or got trapped in a forest. And being the central character we should connect to her, but I can't. Sorry.

@stumpy49er: Um. Who was your OC?

@wildvine: @wildvine: Hallow, appears towards the end.

@wildvine: Again, it's the Victorian era. Almost EVERYONE is a racist.

And she was murdered in a brutal way, and instead of moving on to the afterlife, she watched her corpse getting roped and disposed. And she is under 18. It's understandable if she goes a bit nuts.

I didn't want Vic to be likable, she is in this situation because of her own stupidity as well as her lack of self control(because again, under 18). I wanted to make her a victim who weren't a saint since the innocent victim in these sort o stories has been done a hundred times before. But in retrospective, it seems like a mistake since, as you said, there has to be some sort of sympathy for her.

Honestly, if I could, I would have made a mini out of this, exploring Victoria's character. And I might do that after the contest.

Thanks for your time and you honesty. I can only get better if I'm being told what I do wrong.

@wildvine: As batkevin said, it's Hallow. (Thanks @batkevin74)

However, I will point out that her original name, Jamie Lloyd, is a shout out to Michael Myers niece in the Halloween series, as well as her uncle who's still in Arkham being a shout out to MM.

Her name is just meant as a shout out. She is a different character from the movies, especially when she becomes the monster named Hallow at the end of my story. Also, the character from the movies is a bit younger, mute and telepathic.

That said, if you believe this violates the rules of the contest, making her not an OC, let me know and I will change her name.

This is open to everyone right?

Here' my entry.

Location: Fancy vacation home in the mountains of Alaska. Night time.

Bzzz.... (Door Bell)

"Come on in." says Mr. Ma-Ti. (President of Geo Inc.)

"Thank you for inviting all of us, sir. We really appreciate it." replies Mr. Kwame. (Vice-President of Geo Inc.)

"No problem. No problem. Let me show you around." says Mr. Ma-Ti.

The house was gorgeous. Built right in the middle of the forest, and it even had a live tree in the middle of the house. Over 5000 sq. ft. of exquisite living. Probably the most beautiful house in Alaska. The best money can buy. And the money will continue to come in now that the court has sided with their company. In the last 100 years, the NaKota tribe has never lost their land a court battle. But this time was different. A different generation of judges that don't mind loosening their morality if it meant their bank accounts get larger.

"A very beautiful house you have here, sir." says Ms. Linka (Chief Legal Advisor)

"I know right, you're gonna have to let me borrow it later." says Mr. Wheeler (Chief Financial Officer)

"Not too shabby. Are you not worried about being so close to the protestors? They did say that the court wasn't their only way of protecting their land." say Ms. Gi (Chief Research Officer)

"Those guys, no. What can a bunch of villagers do? You don't really believe all that mumbo jumbo about their ancestral mother protector. Or whatever. " Mr. Ma-Ti exclaimed.

"Gaia" Ms. Gi answered.

"Never mind that and never mind them. Let me show you the rest of the house."

Mr. Ma-Ti wasted no time giving his board of directors the tour of the place. Safe to say they were all impressed. And that's just the reaction he was going for. Mr. Ma-Ti was going to take his company to the top. His new oil pipeline was going to make him one of the richest men, if not influential, in the whole world. And Mr. Ma-Ti liked that the thought of that.

"Everyone get yourself settled. And let's meet in the grand dining room in an hour for dinner."

Ma-Ti settled himself in the library. Kwame made his way to the kitchen. Ms. Gi and Mr. Wheeler took a walk outside together. And Ms. Linka took her leave in her upstairs bedroom.

Kwame likes to snack before dinner. So it was no surprise that the kitchen would be the first place he'd go after getting settled. "Hmm....what to eat? What to eat? Why is there no junk food in this million dollar kitchen. Well, I guess I'll have to get my stash from my car." Kwame made his way outside to where he parked his car and started fumbling for his keys when he thought he heard a whisper in his ear. It said to him, "Earth" ( in a woman's voice).

"Who said that?" as he turned around. No one was there though. "Earth." the voice whispered to again."

"I must be hearing things." Kwame said. He found his keys and popped the trunk. Suddenly, he felt a violent tug on his feet. Looking down, he found himself being dragged into the earth. "Somebody help me. Help." His struggle became fruitless though. There was no help coming. Kwame was swallowed up.

"You hear that?" Gi asked.

"I didn't hear anything." Wheeler replied. "If you wanna go check it out, go right ahead. I'll stay here, warm, in front of the fire pit."

"Fine. Be back in a bit." Gi replied.

"Women!" Wheeler exclaimed. "Get spooked over something like that. Just when we were about to get things heated up too. Her loss then."

"Fire." a voice whispered.

"Fire." the voice whispered again.

"Who's there?" asked Wheeler. Looking around Wheeler couldn't find who or where the voice was coming from. When he turned back around he found that the fire had died down. "Great." Wheeler started stoking the fire back to life when suddenly the fire leaped from its pit and enveloped Wheeler. Mr. Wheeler didn't even have time to scream before the flames took him.

"Such a lovely view." Linka said to herself. And it was. Standing up on her balcony over looking the Alaskan skyline, what else could anyone think.

"Wind." the voice softly spoke.

"Wind." the voice spoke again.

Suddenly Linka's room became the what could only be described ground zero of a tornado. Anything that wasn't bolted down became a projectile being flung towards her. The gusts of wind became so powerful that it picked her up and threw her off the balcony. "Somebody help!!" she cried. Her cries for help never made it to her companions. It was lost in the wind.

"Now I know I heard that." Gi said to herself. The first noise turned out to be nothing. This noise sent a chill down to her very bones. She returned to the fire pit only to find the crisp remains of Wheeler. Screaming in horror she made her way back to the house. Unfortunately, she never made it.

"Water." the voice spoke to her.

"Water." the voice said again.

The voice spooked her and caused her to trip and fall into the pool. Frantically trying to swim up to the surface, she felt a two hands grab her and pull her back down. Struggle as she might, the water was not forgiving. Gi was claimed by the water.

Mr. Ma-Ti was sitting in his library listening to his music and relaxing in his favorite chair when his record player suddenly went silent. The record was spinning but no music was coming out.

"Heart." the record player said.

"Heart." the player said again.

All of a sudden the room grew dark and the lights died. Jumping out of his seat, Ma-Ti ran for the door but it wouldn't open. He ran for the window but no luck there either. It wouldn't open. A black shadow slowly grew out of the wall. It came to stand in front of Ma-Ti and took the form of a tall lady in a black dress. Her dress was as dark as the night and she had eyes as bright as the moon. "What do you want from me?" he cried.

With an expression as dead as the night, the lady reached out with her hand.

"Heart." the lady asked with a smile.

Fade to Black.

The End.

So what do I win?

1) Yes! 2) A spot on the voting thread! ;)

Title: Weepin' Joe

Blood seeped from his tear ducts, he could not make it stop.

"Why? me, why? me." he thought aloud as he gazed at the monstrosity which lay before him in the mirror.

He could barely recognise himself, he was but a shell of his former self. The once handsome face which stared back had transformed into a pool of vile ugliness.

He could not sleep, he could not eat. The ocean of blood leaking from his eyes kept his attention, reminding him of his sin.

He grew tired. Was it his soul leaking out? After all they say the eyes are the window to the soul.

"I can help you." whispered a voice.

"I can help you."

If he had not heard it twice he would've sworn it was the wind.

Was he going insane?

"What do I do?" he asked as desperation crept into his voice like an unwelcome guest.

"Hurt him, he did this." it answered.

"Who?" He was anxious, who did this to him?

"You know who." It replied. "Hurt him, make him weep as he makes you."

He clenched his fists and he felt his sin consume him. Fury melted through the fear he had felt for the past week as the blood poured out of his eyes. He knew who did this.

"How do I hurt him?"

"By hurting them, all of them."

The voice was louder, he could hear it much more clearly.

He knew what he had to do, he had been shaken free from his trance by his mysterious saviour. For the first time in a week he looked away from his reflection.

What a mess.

He reached for his revolver, his only friend. With it he would make them hurt.

With it he would make Him hurt.

Author's Note: I've only ever stuck to Artist Showoff and I hope I did well for my first entry in the Fan Fiction section of Comicvine. Thanks for coming this far dear reader. I sincerely hope you enjoyed the story. :)

@stumpy49er:

That said, if you believe this violates the rules of the contest, making her not an OC, let me know and I will change her name.

I don't believe you are violating the contest rules, so don't worry about it. Cbishop is hosting and he didn't care, so.

@ifdcruledtheworld: I'm not sure this works. The monsters aren't original. You just made horror versions of the Planeteers.

Hmm lot's of entries, here's mine.

Mountain Shadows

The man dressed in hiking gear looked over the side of the mountain down at the layer of clouds stretched out like an ocean of white around a sentinel island of brown and green. There stretched out before him was an otherworldly shape, something that was man shaped but stretched into almost painful dimensions, a gleaming halo of light around was looked like a head. Nervously the hiker turned to look up the path to the team leader, a rough and ready looking man that had the stereotypical Indiana Jones look.

“Uh Doctor Wilson, what exactly is that?” The man asked, as he pointed to the shadowy figure imprinted on the clouds, its body spasming and shifting, seemingly at its existence being pointed out.

“James right?” Wilson asked in a voice that sounded slightly amused but also one that was willing to educate and explain. “This is your first time in the field up in the mountains isn’t it?”

“Yes and yes.” James answered as he kept shooting nervous looks at the figure out in the clouds.

“Well don’t worry about that, it’s just a natural phenomenon called a Broken spectre. What we are seeing is a warping effect of your cast shadow by the sun and clouds.” Wilson explained, as another one of the team took a photograph of the shadow. “While seemingly sinister it is as harmless as any other kind of shadow, although old European folklore associates seeing a Brocken spectre with bad luck.”

“Good thing we’re not in Europe then.” A woman’s voice explained.

“Quite Lisa.” Wilson added, as he looked the young woman up and down, before stopping on the Clovis spear-point stringed around her neck on a leather chain. “According to the men who found the remains of the structure we shouldn’t be too far from the summit.” He added, as the team continued to head upwards to the weathered flat top of the mountain and the charismatic six sticking out spires that gave it the name Six-Spire peak. Reaching the top, the researchers unpacked tents and wind breaks, before sitting down for an early afternoon snack.

“I can’t believe with all the satellite mapping that this place was only discovered when two local climbing enthusiasts decided to get a picture of the spires.” One of the researchers stated as he bit into an energy bar. The entirety of the ten man team had been surprised when the Chicago Field Museum had called them in to investigate what they suspected was a pre-Clovis site. Even in the wilds of Wyoming it was unprecedented for something so ancient had survived unnoticed by both the First People and the waves of colonists.

“We only have a few details to work on Martin.” Lisa replied as she checked the reception of her satellite phone. “And I doubt its pre-Clovis, the people back then didn’t have the resources or knowledge to build lasting structures.”

“Well let’s find out.” Wilson suggested, as he got to his feet and looked over to the small cave like opening that lead into the peak of the mountain. “Martin you and Janine stay here, I want the satellite images and geological survey data before we do anything other than look at what we have.” He added, as the two team members he had named got up and walked to one of the tents, a hardened field laptop under the arm of the later.

“Are you sure it’s okay to enter?” James stammered, as Lisa, Wilson and another man headed for the hole. “It’s not owned by a tribe or sacred or anything like that?”

“If anyone in North America claims to have heritage back to the Clovis people or beyond, I’d suspect that they were trying to con us.” Lisa told him. “That said this may be post-Clovis Native American work, in which case we need to figure out which tribe built it, before seeking permission to investigate further from any living descendants.” She added, her words causing James to gulp, just as Wilson took a glow stick, snapped it and through it into the hole.

“Yeah but to figure that out we need to look inside.” Wilson explained, as he slipped under the cave opening before vanishing into the cave interior. Seconds later Lisa and the third man joined him, leaving James standing out in the open, the rest of the team watching him expectantly. As a grad student of archaeology he had always dreamed of finding a lost tomb or ancient boat burial ground, but something about Six Spires Peak and the earlier sighting of the Brocken spectre made him feel uneasy. Taking a deep breath he ducked inside and gasped at what he saw, while the exterior was plane and could have been blamed on erosion, the inside had defiantly been shaped by human hands.

Speaking of human hands, the walls were painted in ochre with generations of hand prints from the people who had used the site. Something was wrong with them however, surrounding the prints were elongated smudges that looked as if the hands that had made the art had been twisted and deformed as they had pressed their palms against the stone.

“It’s like the Cave of Beasts in Egypt.” Lisa stated, as she swung her head around, the head torch illuminating a thin beam of light around the walls. “Except their they pressed the hands of monitor lizards inside the human hand prints, this appears to have had some large creatures hand or foot traced around the hands here.”

“We have something else as well.” Wilson added as he shone his light up to reveal dozens of human skulls fused into the roof. “This is fascinating indeed. Miguel, you have some knowledge of aboriginal symbology, what can you tell us about the way the bones are arranged?”

“It is not good, the symbol is similar to markers that I documented in an Ojibwa graveyard.” Miguel stated, his voice grim as he talked. “They represent dead people.”

“Wyoming was never Ojibwa territory though.” Wilson replied. “Unless they moved East towards Michigan and Minnesota in the genesis of their culture.”

“Where are the rest of the bones?” James whispered as he shone his light down, the tiled floor glinting as he looked down. “It’s some kind of glass or crystal!” He yelled, his voice echoing around the structure. Bending down the four archaeologists ran their hands along the surface before looking at each other in confusion. Even James knew that the working of the crystal was as sophisticated as anything modern humans could make, maybe even more so.” At that point the light of the glow stick began to flicker, and to avoid potentially getting trapped the four scientists climbed out and headed back to camp, unable to hide their excitement.

That excitement only grew when Janice handed the satellite pictures to Miguel, his eyes going wide as he looked towards the charismatic spires and then back to the picture. “The spires are shaped and arranged like the Cherokee symbol for warding evil spirits away, but like the Ojibwa, that tribe were never recorded being in Wyoming. We may have found the original Native American settlement, the location of the first post-Clovis tribe.”

**

Excitement spread quickly, and although nobody had gone into the cave, there was much preparation for tomorrow’s documentation. Going to bed, all but one of team dreamed of the accolades they would get for the discovery. Despite his earlier excitement, the imagery relating to evil and death woke Miguel from a fitful sleep. Dressing warmly he awoke Simon, his buddy and quietly whispered ‘toilet’. Shaking himself, Simon got up, dressed and picked up a torch, the pair of them heading out onto the mountain top and towards the cave.

“Give me a second.” Miguel stated, as he illuminated his head torch and dropped into the cave. After a minute he hadn’t returned, and Simon reluctantly headed inside.

**

A new day dawned, and Wilson rallied the team over breakfast and after a rushed meal of porridge and fruit, the team headed inside the cave, the walls and floors pristine save for a torch and two piles of modern clothing, intact but totally abandoned.

“Everyone out.” Wilson ordered softly. A minute and a half later he was on the satellite phone trying to contact the police, trying being the operative word. A bank of cloud had rolled in and had seemingly cut connection with the outside world, if only temporarily. Looking out over the edge of the cliff, James looked down at the Brocken spectre, its shadowy form printed over the cloud bank. Last night he’d googled the phenomena, and come to turns with how cool it actually was, despite its scary appearance. Watching the shadow he blinked, and swore he saw the dark shape flit to one side, turn its head and hold out a hand, its fingers elongated as it moved.

“Okay people, two of us need to go down the mountain for help.” Wilson called, his voice snapping James out of his study of the strange shadow. “Roland, Martin you are the best climbers, do you think you can get to the ranger’s station at the base of the hill before nightfall?”

“Probably if we leave now.” Roland, a well-built man who looked more like a pugilist than a climber grunted.

“The rest of us will stay here just in case Simon and Miguel return.” Lisa explained as she handed Martin a spare satellite phone. “We’ll keep checking for transmission and call you if anything develops.”

“Likewise.” Martin replied, as he and Roland prepared for the hike down off of the mountain.

**

Roland turned the corner to the top of a scree slope that plunged forty meters down to an outcropping of rock below. It was almost an hour since they had departed the campsite, and now he and Martin were ensconced in the cloud, dampness and cold chills gripping their body as they headed down.

“What’s that?” Martin asked as he pointed to a figure on the cliff path ahead of them. “Simon, Miguel is that you?” He asked, as Roland shone the light at the figure, the cloud sucking up the light of the torch. Cautiously Roland and Martin approached the figure, but every time he got closer it seemed to back off. Cursing to themselves, they quickened their pace before with a sudden realisation of absolute horror the rock under their feet disappeared and the pair plunged off the mountain into the cloud, their screams echoing round the mountainside.

**

“It’s been too long.” Lisa stated as she entered the tent she shared with Janine, the bespectacled young woman jabbing at the laptop she had brought, the screen showing nothing but dancing shadows and static. “The cloud should have cleared up by now.”

“We have a bigger problem.” Janine told her. “Before the computer was…” She paused to think her words over, “…attacked, I was tracking a massive storm front coming in from the north. It will hit the mountain just before midnight.”

“We don’t have enough time to get off the mountain before nightfall.” Lisa sighed. “I’ll tell Wilson.” She added, as she left the tent and headed to where two of the expedition members were taking photographs of the spires. “Chris, you seen Wilson, we have another problem.”

“He and Nate went into the cave.” James stated, his words causing Lisa to grab a glow stick and then storm over to the hole and drop in. Cracking the chemical tube, she saw the two men shining their torches at the crystal floor. “I thought you said not to come down here?!” She spat, as Wilson turned to look at her.

“I needed to…” He stopped and screamed as both he and Nate were gripped by something terrible, their bodies twisting as they collapsed onto the wall, their hand prints staining the wall as their fingers elongated to resemble the prints left by the people who had dwelled there in antiquity. Screaming herself Lisa, bolted to the door as her teammates finished contorting into spindly too-tall man shaped blots of shadow. She had crawled half way out of the cave mouth, before a tentacle of shadow wrapped round her neck and dragged her into the structure screaming and thrashing.

Racing over, torch in hand Chris dropped down into the tomb only to find two more piles of clothes on the crystal floor. Looking up he saw the roof of skulls had been joined by Lisa’s severed head and ran for the exit screaming. Despite Janine’s warning about the weather closing in, it hadn’t taken much to convince the three remaining archaeologists to leave Six Spires Peak. Packing only what was needed, the survivors headed for the path down, the ever present Brocken spectre standing on the cloud aping and exaggerating their movements.

“Maybe those Europeans had the right idea.” James stated, as Chris led them down the path, his eyes fixed on the path. “What do you think Janine?” He asked, as he turned round to where she was walking behind them.

“Perhaps.” She replied, as the four figures continued their descent down the hill. Four? James stopped and looked back again, this time to see Janine’s body convulsing as a shadowy hand wrapped itself around her waist.

“Chris!!” James yelled, as he dared to look away for a second, only to see another hand wrapped round Chris, his body mirroring Janine’s spasms as they were warped into twisting humanoid blots of shadow. “Oh c**p, oh c**p!” James screamed, as his former friends flowed towards him like liquid blackness, whilst the Brocken spectre let out a laugh that couldn’t be made by any animal’s throat, let alone a human one. Not daring to hesitate, James took the easiest path available to him and jumped off the mountain. As he did, shadowy hands grabbed him and burning pain rushed through his body as his limbs twisted and elongated, his screams of pain transforming alongside his body into the horrible sound he had just heard.

@wildvine:

I appreciate your input but i will have to disagree. Aside from the names of the victims (homage to the planeteers), i can't think of another monster/ghost/thing that kills their victims in that fashion. Granted, I was inspired by the cartoon, but my story (to me) is in no way the same as the show. There are no teens fighting eco-terrorist. No magic rings with powers that combine to form a super hero. It's just a scary lady in a black dress that uses the elements to kill her victims. If I changed the names of the characters, I don't think we would be having this civil discussion. I just used those names as easter eggs for those who may remember the old cartoon. But, alas, if you need me to write a new story let me know. I enjoyed it the first time, so I'm sure I'll enjoy it again.

Thanks.

@ifdcruledtheworld:

But, alas, if you need me to write a new story let me know.

If it was my contest, maybe. But its not. Cbishop is hosting so its up to him.

@wildvine: @ifdcruledtheworld: Nah. If the OC-monster/killer is the lady in the black dress, she's all original, and it's scary, then the rest of it could be complete fan-fic.

@batkevin74: Hmm I see a few familiar names, in fact it seems like there was a Batkevin, a Cbishop, a Wildvine, a Joshmightbe, even a Tommythehitman.

I assume the Impurest Cheese was off wandering in the woods since she wasn't there, sounds like something I would do.

Cool story though :-)

@wildvine: Could you take a look at my two latest Cat chapters as well? I would appreciate it.

@waezi2: If I ever get caught up on the series.

Less than two days to enter.

I still have to write mine, but will you be entering?

@cbishop: Probably not sadly

@wildvine: <sigh> Letdown, Wv. Letdown.

@cbishop: S'what I do