This is a story that has been told and retold. And with each telling it changes. Perhaps it is fitting that Robert of the hood has become legend. Notoriety is not something he ever sought, though it found him. And so in my last days i sit here to record for future generations the real story. The one that started all the stories. the birth of the legend....
Robert of Hoods Kneels quietly on his elevated perch. Arrow notched and bow string taunt. He would only get one shot at this. And it was not an easy shot in well light, let alone in shadow.
"Help! Someone help me!" Mary screamed as she runs semi-blind through the forest, keeping to the path more from memory then sight. Her lines were rehearsed but the panic was real. The ravenous Noble behind her certainly wasn't playing. If she slipped or if Robert missed there would be no help for her.
'If he must miss, let him hit me' She prayed silently. She had heard tales of what the Noble did when enraged. And it would be quite enraged if it realized it was being led to a trap.
Robert sits at the ready, blinking sweat from his eye. Willing his tired arm not to tremble. Any second now....
Mary rushes into the clearing and immediately dives to the ground. A bee buzzes past her ear. No, not a bee, otherwise she would be dead.
Robert's arrow flies straight and true, finding its way into the demons dead heart. "AAAAAAARRRRRRHHHHH" The Noble Blood roars as its body erupts in a hot red flame. The flames of Hell, Friar Tuck believed. The demon was quickly reduced to ash and bone.
"Alright, that infernal noise will alert any Noble in the area, so we need to break camp post haste". Robert calls down to his companion John Little.
"Aye mister Locke, and a foine bit of shooting i might add". Robert couldn't see John, but knew from experience he was giving the thumb of approval. A silly gesture he had came up with and was convinced it would catch on if repeated enough.
'John and his ideas'. Robert shook his head to himself. Where did he get such notions?
"Cutting it a bit close Mr Locke. Any closer an i would need another earring" Mary huffed, angrily.
"As if you needed another" Robert replied dryly. She wore three rings in each ear. Another in her nose, and another in her lip. There where rumors of others, but a gentleman did not entertain such thoughts. Around the camp she was known ironically as 'Maid Mary'.
Despite her unladylike nature, or perhaps because of it, she had proven quite useful. As an information collector and as bait. She was also a capable fighter.
"Learned anything of interest tonight?" Robert asked as they walk back to the camp.
"Learned something very interesting, though i'll need a bit of rope--"
"About the Nobles, woman!" Robert cuts her off. She did love to play her games.
"Ah, well yes actually, though its not as interesting......"
"Well?" He asks, becoming exasperated.
"I learned if you cut off the head the body will flounder". She smirks.
At first he assumes that is another lewd comment. Then it sinks home."You mean....?"
"Correct. Kill the first and the rest will follow" She says very slowly as if speaking to an idiot.
"Any word on where to find this head?"
"Oh yes. The demon lord is expected at castle Nottingham in three moons for a costume ball in his honor. One Lord Vlad Tepes"
"Tell me Maid Mary, do you have a dress in your wardrobe?"
Three moons later....
"I don't like this" John Little commented uneasily.
"Grow up you baby. The demons ash covers our living scent". Mary whispers fiercely. She was nervous herself, and him being nervous was making her more nervous.
Their mission was to mingle with the Nobles and find Vlad.
"Here, have some virgin blood. Aged 27 years" A Noble sniffs the wineglass with pleasure, and hands another glass to Mary.
"Only the best for the lord eh?" She takes a sip.
"What else?" The Noble licks lips with a black tongue.
"Indeed". She gently leads John away before he could turn green.
"You, ulp" He gags quietly "You drank blood".
"I've drank worse". She replied cryptically.
Other merry men were dressed as jesters, and were acting as servers.
"Fellow Nobles" A vampire clinks one long nail against a wineglass. "Our lord and master, Vlad of Tepes"
At first there is nothing to see. Then a mist cloud drifts in through an open window and swirls about before solidifying into a giant bat creature which spreads its eight foot wing span theatrically. "Good ev'ning my children" It grins before melting into a more human form, the wings becoming a flowing cape. The ears remain pointed.
It seems recon was a bit unnecessary after all.....
"I have heard the cry of you all. This, Robert of the hood, has been hunting us and encouraging human rebellion? I intend to feast on him for many days. But... i suspect he is closer then you all know. A sheep among wolves". His meets Mary's gaze and beckons her with one finger. "You can mask you scent, but not your heartbeat. You soul is a filthy thing human. Do you think it will go up at your passing? Give yourself to me and live forever as one of my brides".
"Nooo!" John Little charges the Demon lord, only to be swatted carelessly aside like a fly.
"Up here demon" Robert calls from the elevated walk way, letting fly a burning arrow.
Vlad catches the arrow with one hand and casts Mary away with the other. "I'm afraid you'll need to do better then this Mr Hood". He gloats before the arrow explodes in his face. A gray cloud enveloping him.
Robert grabs a chandelier rope and swings himself down at the demon lord....
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