Character Creation Contest #4

@cbishop said: “Mordred by name, dragon by spell, To Excalibow, the sorcerer fell!" I liked this bit especially. Poetry not normally my thing, but I liked this. Good work

@batkevin74: Thanks. I wouldn't want every story to rhyme, but I got the idea of the bard being the hero in disguise, and suddenly I had to do it.

@andrewtheking You playing this time?

I wasn't invited? I feel so... meh.

@BlackReaper said:

I wasn't invited? I feel so... meh.

You weren't around for the first. Or second. Or....

@wildvine said:

@BlackReaper said:

I wasn't invited? I feel so... meh.

You weren't around for the first. Or second. Or....

I was here in spirit though, By spirit, I mean not at all.

@Delphic Hey, if you don't have much shaking maybe you want to play?

@BlackReaper said:

I wasn't invited?

You are now.

@cbishop Well done once again. I have a similar thing in mind (Cross story. not poem).

@wildvine: Sure I'll see what I can do.

@BlackReaper: I would have, I did not know who you are so did not know man, Sorry :(

@Pyrogram said:

@BlackReaper: I would have, I did not know who you are so did not know man, Sorry :(

No, it's fine. I've been gone for months. I was just being sarcastic.

@BlackReaper:

@mrdecepticonleader Wanna take a swing Sir?

@wildvine said:

@mrdecepticonleader Wanna take a swing Sir?

Maybe,sounds interesting.

@mrdecepticonleader: Good luck.

@Pyrogram: Will have to think of a good scenario first,should be fun.If I do enter that is.

@wildvine: I am always curious to see yours. I've been intrigued each time. Get t' writin'! ;)

@cbishop said:

@wildvine: I am always curious to see yours. I've been intrigued each time. Get t' writin'! ;)

You know i'm lazy......I got the best idea yet though. And if you liked my first story then-- Well, you'll have to see......

@wildvine said:

@cbishop said:

@wildvine: I am always curious to see yours. I've been intrigued each time. Get t' writin'! ;)

You know i'm lazy......I got the best idea yet though. And if you liked my first story then-- Well, you'll have to see......

<Taps foot> <looks at watch> <slumps shoulders> <exasperated sigh> Are you DONE yet?

@cbishop said:

<Taps foot> <looks at watch> <slumps shoulders> <exasperated sigh> Are you DONE yet?

Not tonight. No later then Wednesday. Probably. I plan to take full advantage of the word count.

@wildvine said:

@cbishop said:

<Taps foot> <looks at watch> <slumps shoulders> <exasperated sigh> Are you DONE yet?

Not tonight. No later then Wednesday. Probably. I plan to take full advantage of the word count.

Yeah, I was planning to do that too, but the story petered out at 797. ;)

@cbishop said:

Yeah, I was planning to do that too, but the story petered out at 797. ;)

None sense. Your story is fine. mine will probably be too long. Someone will say "I was going to vote for Wv but her story was sooo long, never got to the end. Nice start and middle though".

@wildvine said:

None sense. Your story is fine. mine will probably be too long. Someone will say "I was going to vote for Wv but her story was sooo long, never got to the end. Nice start and middle though".

It's the Internet. Some people will do that reading this sentence. ;)

@cbishop said:

It's the Internet. Some people will do that reading this sentence. ;)

Yeah. sometimes i can't even finish a sen

@wildvine said:

@cbishop said:

It's the Internet. Some people will do that reading this sentence. ;)

Yeah. sometimes i can't even finish a sen

Is it tence in here, or is that just me?

@cbishop said:

Is it tence in here, or is that just me?

Hee hee.

@wildvine said:

@cbishop said:

It's the Internet. Some people will do that reading this sentence. ;)

Yeah. sometimes i can't even finish a sen

@Pyrogram said:

Clever disguise Capfanboy.

@wildvine said:

@cbishop said:

Is it tence in here, or is that just me?

Hee hee.

;)

@wildvine said:

@Pyrogram said:

Now, that's a sen. lol

@wildvine: what lol :P im pyrogram :D

@Pyrogram said:

@wildvine: what lol :P im pyrogram :D

Sure you are.....

: P

@wildvine:

@BlackReaper: The comp is open to all, peeps were invited but it's open to all. Would love to see what you've got up your sleeve. Do it, I dares ya

@batkevin74 said:

@BlackReaper: The comp is open to all, peeps were invited but it's open to all. Would love to see what you've got up your sleeve. Do it, I dares ya

Well, I'm preparing my new Iron Age story, but I'll put it and Hulk Works at Wal-mart on hold. Time to win me a contest.

@BlackReaper said:

@batkevin74 said:

@BlackReaper: The comp is open to all, peeps were invited but it's open to all. Would love to see what you've got up your sleeve. Do it, I dares ya

Well, I'm preparing my new Iron Age story, but I'll put it and Hulk Works at Wal-mart on hold. Time to win me a contest.

Excellent! Let's see what you've got also a new X-Faction went up, I'd love you to have a peruse over it when you get a chance http://www.comicvine.com/forums/fan-fic/8/marvel-iron-age-the-x-faction-part-3/728969/#1

@batkevin74 said:

@BlackReaper said:

@batkevin74 said:

@BlackReaper: The comp is open to all, peeps were invited but it's open to all. Would love to see what you've got up your sleeve. Do it, I dares ya

Well, I'm preparing my new Iron Age story, but I'll put it and Hulk Works at Wal-mart on hold. Time to win me a contest.

Excellent! Let's see what you've got also a new X-Faction went up, I'd love you to have a peruse over it when you get a chance http://www.comicvine.com/forums/fan-fic/8/marvel-iron-age-the-x-faction-part-3/728969/#1

Good luck Reaper, and I will take a look also batkevin :)

England 1381

"I don't care!" the rich brat shouted tossing a chalice at the floor beneath his seat, "I want it!"

"B-b-but sire," his man-servant stammered, "The Grail is the holiest of holies! It belongs in the temple-"

"Squire, seize this man!" screamed the child, "I want his head on a pike! Bring me the cup! Bring me immortality!"

France 1543

He'd been warned but he didn't listen; to drink of the cup was to damn your soul but your body would live on. He'd learned much over the years but archery, archery was his favorite. He donned his hood and tunic, a deep set black that clung to him as the moon would the night. He'd set about to make his fortune under the name of William Ichabod Strongarm. It was a joke to himself; Will I strong arm this town and take from it what I need? The answer was rarely "No."

Tonight, Will had his eye on a jewel. A black diamond, to be exact, one so valuable it could continue the war effort for another 30 years if the government ever sold it. They never would, and so it was high time someone took it off their hands for its value on the black market.

He hopped from the rooftop he stood on to the next building, he had a better shot for a zip-line. He snapped the arrow outwards and it dug into the wall. He flicked the rope, almost as tight as a drawn bow string. He smiled, flicked the bow up and over the line.

The building seemed ungaurded, odd because it held France's greatest treasures all under one roof. He knocked an arrow and followed the tile path to a large hallway. Strange, he thought, I've snatched from churches more heavily gaurded than this dump. He found the room at the back of the hall, pulled the draw string all the way back and gave the door a hard kick.

It popped revealing a dark room. He stepped inwards, the door slammed shut behind him then the tources lit startling him, "Alright, who's the-!" he started.

An old fat man sat behind a table, hands folded, "Mr. 'Strongarm,' I believe you're going by these days, please sit." He motioned to a seat across from him.

Will looked about the room, it was just the two of them, "And if I refuse?"

"I'll take you into custody and will have you pay for the crimes you've commited over the last 162 years," The fat man said matter of factly.

Will snorted a laugh, "What'll you do? Give me the noose?"

"Oh, no, Mr. Strongarm," the fat man smiled, "There are worse things than death. Worse things to do to people like you."

"People like me?" Will said stiffeling another laugh.

"Yes, Mr. Strongarm. People like you," he said in that mono-tone voice, "Whipe that grin off your face, do you really think you're the only one to ever drink from the Holly Grail? Drink the blood of their fallen enemies? Sacrafice the lives of others to one diety or another to gain immortality? No my friend, people have been doing it for ages."

Will frowned, "So what do you want from me, Fat-man?"

The man simply smiled, "Your life."

The archer smiled, "Sorry I'm just here for a jewel."

Fat-man frowned, "Thats a shame. Ner, Shu!" The walls fell inwards, a beautiful middle-eastern woman and an incerdibly fit asian man in flowing pants and a talisman.

Will pointed to the asian, "I'm guessing your Shu? That is so-"

"I am Ner," the asian said.

"Ah," The archer said, "Of course you are."

Ner leapt across the room towards Will with his head down like a bull towards a matador. However, unlike a matador Will was armed. He knocked an arrow quicker than he could even see and loosed it into the other man's skull. Ner just kept pushing onwards though, slamming him into the stone wall. Ow! Oh, right, immortals.

He had to think quick, there had to be some way to at least stop them for a short time. The man had him by the throat though and it was making breathing a wrather difficult task. "Hey, Lumpy," he choked, "How'd you get your powers, eating a mystical goat?"

Ner smiled, "The gods bless me through my talisman."

Will coughed and squeaked, "Oh really, what if I where to-" he cut the rope holding the talisman with the tip of an arrow. The big man croaked in surprise as he let go of the wise-cracking archer. It hit the floor and shattered, the asain man screamed as light pulsed through his body and he collapsed in on himself, decaying and rotting almost instantly. "Well," Will said, "That was dissapointing, what about you Dame, what'd you do?"

She smiled, shifting into sand quickly and appearing infront of him, "I sacraficed my entire village to the god of the earth."

"Bet your fun at the beach," Will said, "I didn't even know we had a god of-"

She shoved her hand of dirt into his mouth, "Do you ever shut up?"

He tried to cough up the sand flowing down his throat but it just seemed to keep coming. He reached for another arrow and she laughed at him, "Go ahead shoot me, I'm to close for that. Besides I can turn my body into sand." She grabbed his arm and pinned him to the wall.

The fat-man stood, "Oh, Will I do think you should reconcider my offer."

He broke the tip of the arrow in his hand off and tossed it at a cup on the table. It jumpped upwards splashing water down drenching Shu. She screamed and pulled away, melting slowly into a puddle of mud and goo.

"Lady," he said, "You picked the wrong god." He turned to Fat-man, "Where were we? Oh yes, the jewel, now."

@VyseCarma: Nice. Other than a couple of very minor homonym errors, I only have one question: would they have called it a "zip line" in 1543? (I honestly don't know.)

Really nice piece.

@VyseCarma: Its ok, personally I found it a little slow , but its not bad, nowhere near bad. The talking was well done though.

this is the most diverse selection of stories yet.

@wildvine: Definitely. I am surprised the person I chose meant this, I thought it would be simple old archer tales.

@Pyrogram said:

@wildvine: Definitely. I am surprised the person I chose meant this, I thought it would be simple old archer tales.

Voting is gonna be the H word. So much varity.

@wildvine said:

@Pyrogram said:

@wildvine: Definitely. I am surprised the person I chose meant this, I thought it would be simple old archer tales.

Voting is gonna be the H word. So much varity.

Yes, wide variety, yet it's missing...something...I don't know. A little dash of... wildvine, maybe?

@wildvine: I think so far I know who I am voting for. @cbishop: and yes.

@Pyrogram said:

@wildvine: I think so far I know who I am voting for. @cbishop: and yes.

Years ago, I used to write on writing sites, and invariably, someone would start a series of writing challenges. What was always exciting about them was the same thing we are seeing here:

1. If several answered the same challenge, the answers were always really different.
2. With few exceptions, the answers were always really good.
3. As the contests went on, the writers stepped up each time, improving each time, as much wanting to win for the bragging rights, as to impress their fellow writers.

It's kind of nerdy fun when you think about it, but there is nothing quite like getting feedback from those who have proven themselves to be your peers. If you can make them go, "Oh, that's cool," then it is very rewarding, even without votes.

Word count - 893

Disclaimer: I am sorry, this is my first one, I know it isn't very good.

Light shone down on the executioner’s block. The executioner himself was a large, heavy set man, who held a large axe in one hand. Unlike the axe most people were familiar with; this was of the single bladed variety. If one were to look across from the block, a silhouette would be seen stood upon a roof. How he had gained the rooftop perch was quite simple. What he intended to do next was infinitely harder. The Sun crested over the hill directly behind him, giving him a perfect clarity of shooting. He stepped back from the ledge and reached behind himself for one of the arrows he had laid down, and for his bow. The arrow was long, thin, and the head glinted evilly in the Sun’s rays. The bow, however, was a masterpiece, in scale and design. It would dwarf any other projectile weapon one would encounter on these streets. It fit into the man’s hand perfectly, and he smirked. He felt invincible whilst holding the bow, like nothing could ever go wrong. His hand touched an arrow, and he stood up, notching it to the string. “It is time.” He announced, the corners of his mouth twisting up into a small self-indulgent smirk. Most of his face was hidden in the shadow of his hood as he raised the bow, but one got the impression that he had the eye of a hawk. He lined up the first shot, dropping to one knee, fully drawing.

The door of the shack near the executioner’s block creaked open, and a chained man was led from the hut, still pleading with his tormentors. He looked starved and haggard. The archer spared him not a second glance. He knew nothing of the man, and he was not a target. As such, for now, he was inconsequential. As the man was led to the block, the hooded man took in a long breath. The man’s head was laid over it, and an almost silent gust of wind escaped the archer’s mouth. The axe raised into the air, and a thrumming sound was heard, then a whistle, followed by the sickening sound of metal hitting flesh, and then grinding against bone. The executioner gurgled, an arrow shaft sticking from his throat. The massed crowd looked around, but the archer was already in motion as the guards spotted him and began firing their crossbows, short thick arrows missing him by mere inches. Another arrow found his string and then left it. The target this time was somewhat less sentient, the arrowhead parting a length of rope that the archer leaped from the roof, and grabbed the rope.

He flew a good length of the courtyard while holding the rope, then flipped off the end acrobatically, his training coming back to him as natural as breathing as he aimed for the crossbow men with his own, far more powerful weapon. He knew a few of his arrows missed, but at the speed he was traveling, it was acceptable. He landed with his feet on either end of the executioner’s block, everyone shocked by his sudden appearance and perfect landing. “Good morning, all!” He said, raising his arms over his head with a light chuckle. “Very nice weather today, isn’t it?” He remarked in the same tone. Sword wielding guards appeared from nearby buildings. “All this just for me? Consider me flattered.” He said by way of retort, stepping down, spinning his bow like a staff. They ran at him, and he ducked under the first sword swings, driving his bow into one’s gut, spinning it into one’s cheek with a solid crack and deflecting a sword with a third attack. “While I’d love to do this all day, I’m on a bit of a tight schedule. So I guess I’ll just be grabbing what I came for and going.” With a grin, he ran back to the executioner’s block and leaped over it, neatly tucking over the chained man’s head. He pulled the chain between the man’s wrists over his head, and hoisted him up. The man instinctively wrapped his legs around his saviour’s waist, and the man took off running, outpacing the guards even with the extra weight, due to his extensive knowledge of the backstreets as well as his far superior agility. The two disappeared into the early morning city.

The hooded archer let his passenger get down, and pulled a small axe from a belt loop, parting the chains with a sharp CLINK! A dark haired woman ran from the near domicile and embraced the emaciated former prisoner, and turned to the tall hooded man. “How can we ever thank you?” She asked, her eyes beginning to tear up.

“Get out of the city as soon as you can.” The man replied. “I’ll await my payment in the usual manner.” He nodded to his rescue, bowed to the woman, and slipped the axe back into his belt, then looked towards the sky. If he left now, he could get to his next deal a few moments early. Punctuality was an excellent thing to be known for in this business. Without another word, he turned towards the city and walked towards the increasing rush of bodies. Just another citizen going about his business; and what it entailed was entirely his own concern.

@cbishop said:

Yes, wide variety, yet it's missing...something...I don't know. A little dash of... wildvine, maybe?

Pretty soon....

@Pyrogram said:

@wildvine: I think so far I know who I am voting for. @cbishop: and yes.

Nay, stay thy vote till mine stalwart tale be spun.

@cbishop: Eaxctly, Feedback is very important, somebody can love it, without saying though its meaningless.

@wildvine: Its my working vote , Yours could win for me :D

@Mattersuit said:

Word count - 893

Disclaimer: I am sorry, this is my first one, I know it isn't very good.

Nonsense. The story is great. You could lose the bold on the dialogue, it could use a few more paragraph breaks, and it needs very few, very minor wording tweaks.

I quite liked the story though, and thus far, you are the only person to write an archer without some kind of super twist. Very nice, and certainly nothing to apologize for. Good job. ;)