Character Creation Contest #3

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batkevin74

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#1  Edited By batkevin74

Well as winner (only just) of the previous I get to choose what we do this time. And it’s time we actually created a character. So this contest is a bit harder but hopefully it’ll be spectacular for all.

Nightfire by Payno
Nightfire by Payno

This is Nightfire. He was created by (I sent him a brief of this, as yet hadn't gotten back to me, so if he doesn't approve we'll go with something else)

This character creation contest is this:

*Create a member of Nightfire’s rogue’s gallery, because like all good heroes, they have several recurring bad guys who pop up to regularly challenge them.

* Write about an encounter between Nightfire and your villain (not a superhero misunderstanding, a villain)

* Your short story is to be no more than 600 words. A story doesn’t need a minimum, but no more than 600 words please.

*If you’re lucky/we’re lucky maybe, BIG maybe will also draw the winner’s bad guy (will have to discuss this with him, flatter him, ask nicely, send beer)

So there we go. Let’s see the competition will run for 14 days, enough time to plot/plan/create and get in an entry. Comp starts today 5th Nov 2012 Australian time and will end 19th Nov 2012 Australian time, why Australian time: I'm AUSTRALIAN! And if I can't win Comic Vine prize contests due to my living in the Southern Hemisphere, I shall reap my revenge this way bwhahahahahaha ahem, excuse me. That's why :)

Any and all are welcome to play, so I look forward to your entries

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Pyrogram

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#2  Edited By Pyrogram

what powers this guy got? and lovely picture. or do we make it up?

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TheCannon

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#3  Edited By TheCannon

I'll work on something and get back to you.

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batkevin74

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#4  Edited By batkevin74

@Pyrogram: Nightfire has whatever powers you want him to have. He looks like a Nightcrawler/Human Torch amalgam but his powers are yours to create, as his biography, because so far had only drawn the pic as far as I know. So give him whatever powers, its your story, the voters will decide :)

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Pyrogram

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#5  Edited By Pyrogram

@batkevin74 said:

@Pyrogram: Nightfire has whatever powers you want him to have. He looks like a Nightcrawler/Human Torch amalgam but his powers are yours to create, as his biography, because so far had only drawn the pic as far as I know. So give him whatever powers, its your story, the voters will decide :)

Wicked, full imagination then :)

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Irishlad

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#6  Edited By Irishlad

Do we have any information on the hero?

Can it be from the heroes point of view? or will it be from the villains?

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Irishlad

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#7  Edited By Irishlad

also numbah 3 is up

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batkevin74

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#8  Edited By batkevin74

@Irishlad:For POV up to you. Same with Nightfire's powers. Either use what you see from the pic or give him whatever you like, it's up to you it'll be the voting public who decide whether they like it :)

If any new info from comes through I'll keep you informed but as of right now, he's Nightfire (plausibly a Nightcrawler/Human Torch blend) he has an X4 on his chest and he's kinda on fire with a tail: GO NUTS!

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CapFanboy

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#9  Edited By CapFanboy

@batkevin74: Alright. I'm fairly drunk. I'll attempt this. All on one post. No edits. Written on the Vine. Your move guys.

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Pyrogram

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#10  Edited By Pyrogram

@CapFanboy said:

@batkevin74: Alright. I'm fairly drunk. I'll attempt this. All on one post. No edits. Written on the Vine. Your move guys.

good luck.

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CapFanboy

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#11  Edited By CapFanboy

@batkevin74: The storage locker was quite spacious, large enough for one man and his few possessions. A chair, a couple of sidetables and a few wooden crates were all the pieces of furniture that filled the area. In the far left corner, sat a man, mirror in hand. He rocked back and forth, chanting strange sounds not belonging to any language earth had heard before. He held a crumpled piece of paper in his fist, curling and uncurling his fist. His eyes darted between the mirror and the floor beneath him, never once pausing from his recitation. He brought the hand with the paper in it from under his shawl, he uncurled his fist again, tears welling in his eyes. He dropped the mirror from the other hand, bringing it to stroke the piece of paper as glass flew across the floor. One of the pieces lodged itself in his left shin, he flinched momentarily before his attention returned to the paper.

Cr*p. Cat's urinated in the house. I'LL RETURN!!

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batkevin74

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#12  Edited By batkevin74

@CapFanboy said:

@batkevin74: The storage locker was quite spacious, large enough for one man and his few possessions. A chair, a couple of sidetables and a few wooden crates were all the pieces of furniture that filled the area. In the far left corner, sat a man, mirror in hand. He rocked back and forth, chanting strange sounds not belonging to any language earth had heard before. He held a crumpled piece of paper in his fist, curling and uncurling his fist. His eyes darted between the mirror and the floor beneath him, never once pausing from his recitation. He brought the hand with the paper in it from under his shawl, he uncurled his fist again, tears welling in his eyes. He dropped the mirror from the other hand, bringing it to stroke the piece of paper as glass flew across the floor. One of the pieces lodged itself in his left shin, he flinched momentarily before his attention returned to the paper.

Cr*p. Cat's urinated in the house. I'LL RETURN!!

That's a lovely piece of drunken writing...just add the above superhero and you got yourself an entry!

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CapFanboy

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#13  Edited By CapFanboy

@batkevin74: Goddammit, HOW DO YOU GET CAT PEE FROM BEHIND A COMPUTER DESK! IT PEED 15 MINUTES AGO I CAN'T DO THIS ANY LONGER! I'M GONNA PASS OUT!

Oh, and thanks

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poze

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#14  Edited By poze

@batkevin74: I will post my story tomorrow! Wait can he be part of an already existing ar invented team ?

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batkevin74

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#15  Edited By batkevin74

@poze: It's your story, do with him as you wish! You have 600 words :)

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The Poet

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#16  Edited By The Poet  Moderator

this will be interesting...

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#17  Edited By poze

@batkevin74: oh ok thanks

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cbishop

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#18  Edited By cbishop

@batkevin74: Mine won't be right away this time, but it will be here. :)

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wildvine

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#19  Edited By wildvine

The call has gone out and the challenge shall be met.

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andrewtheking

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#20  Edited By andrewtheking

@batkevin74: I am in

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#21  Edited By wildvine

@andrewtheking said:

@batkevin74: I am in

Noooo. Why must we fight? Why did it come to this?

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andrewtheking

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#22  Edited By andrewtheking

@wildvine: We all know you would kick my ass.

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#23  Edited By wildvine

@andrewtheking said:

@wildvine: We all know you would kick my ass.

I'm not going easy just cause your sweet talking. : P

BTW, you could beat me, don't know much about Nightcrawler, have to research.

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CapFanboy

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#24  Edited By CapFanboy

@wildvine: It's not nightcrawler. It can have any powers you want it to be

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#25  Edited By wildvine

@CapFanboy said:

@wildvine: It's not nightcrawler. It can have any powers you want it to be

Yeah but i'm going to try and stay organic.

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CapFanboy

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#26  Edited By CapFanboy

@wildvine said:

@CapFanboy said:

@wildvine: It's not nightcrawler. It can have any powers you want it to be

Yeah but i'm going to try and stay organic.

Cool. Cool cool cool.

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Pyrogram

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#27  Edited By Pyrogram

@CapFanboy said:

@wildvine said:

@CapFanboy said:

@wildvine: It's not nightcrawler. It can have any powers you want it to be

Yeah but i'm going to try and stay organic.

Cool. Cool cool cool.

I figured , 600 words is only a page :P

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Omniscience

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#28  Edited By Omniscience

An unforeseen (but anticipated) coincidence has arisen. I have been developing a little literature following a 'supervillain' in the form of a Fire Wraith called The Magna King. I will post an advertisement for this miniature novel that I've been working on in the fan-fic forum.

Your choice of competition may fit nicely with a villain I have been working hard on to create. Later on, I will post an excerpt of the story as my entry.

P.S. I would like to hear your opinion and advice on it, if possible! Afterwards, I will post regularly the parts of the tale. . :)

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batkevin74

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#29  Edited By batkevin74

Hey have you seen this? :)

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NlGHTCRAWLER

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#30  Edited By NlGHTCRAWLER

I revved the gas to my custom built fighter street bike to get his attention. His eyes met mine. It was then that I knew he meant serious business. I had went too far this time and I knew it.

His peach colored skin cracked as he let out a loud scream before bursting into flames. His eyes imploded into yellow embers and his hair flickered into a calm inferno.

"Nightfire, long time no talk." I shouted as he slowly made his way towards me, both fists clenched. "...But I see you still have the hots for me." I nervously chuckled, trying to seem as fearless as possible.

"Where is she, Saber?!" He boldly screeched, gazing directly at me and then down to my motorcycle. He knows me all too well.

With a flick of a button, the handlebars to my bike quickly twirled towards him and shot out two small rockets which then crashed into his face with great force. Any normal person would have had their head blown clean off, but not Nightfire here. He is a fighter, this one, but that doesn't mean it didn't piss him off immensely.

"ROAAAAAAAR!" He screamed as the plumed smoke cleared. Without hesitation he sprinted towards me with great speed, glowing fists and fury in his eyes. I pressed down on the gas and released the break as I spun around, barely dodging his fire projectile attack in time. Nightfire is fast, but my bike is and will always be faster. I sped down the deserted alleyway and out into one of the many busy intersections of New York City. I was safe. Nightfire would never dare risk civilian casualties in a high risk chase with me. That was his weakness. He gave up too easy.

That was when I heard the sound of smoke whip from behind me. The smell of brimstone and ash quickly buried itself into my nostrils as a hot, wet liquid crashed into the back of my helmet. The force caused my bike to wobble uncontrollably which inevitably caused me to fall off of it before it plunged into the side of a building. I hit against the ground with great force before rolling uncontrollably for what felt like an eternity. My fun ended when I finally planted forcefully against a parked taxi cab, denting it's door and breaking three of it's four windows from the impact. I choked and coughed from the fumes before I unfastened the safety belt around by neck and threw the burning helmet away from me.

"Hmmph..." I sighed as I sat there with my broken arm and twisted leg.

"This is new." I laughed as his eyes met mine once more, trying to hide my fear but to no avail.

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#31  Edited By cbishop

@NlGHTCRAWLER: Nice piece. Leaves off at a good spot. I want to read more, and that's always a good thing. You could lose the italics though. There was a time when they were used to indicate a character's thoughts, and that's still acceptable, but when it's full on first person narration, it's too much (also, it's hard on the eyes). Well written though. Very nice.

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NlGHTCRAWLER

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#32  Edited By NlGHTCRAWLER

@cbishop: Done and thanks!

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batkevin74

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#33  Edited By batkevin74

@NlGHTCRAWLER: Nice! Well done on a good story and being the first entrant :)

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#34  Edited By batkevin74

Here's my hat into the ring. 10 Australian days to go people :) Words: 486 or 543 with the explanation at bottom. Enjoy, read, comment, COMPETE!

**

“Gott im Himmel!” Nightfire spat out a glob of pyroclastic blood onto the floor, it sizzled and hissed. He scowled at the armed woman standing a few feet from him as he wiped his mouth and got back to his feet, his three-fingered hands clenched with rage.

“You always were a stubborn brat” she said, her white teeth standing out against her red lips which stood out against her green skin. She coolly flipped her auburn hair.

“Where are they?” growled Nightfire.

“Kurt,” she scolded “Your little gang of idiots have their own problems, your focus should be here and now, on me”

BAMF! Nightfire exploded in a puff of fire and brimstone and teleported behind her, raining down a series of strikes. She parried and ducked them with great skill before she drew her pistol and fired point blank into his chest. BLAM! BAMF! BLAM! BAMF! BLAM! BAMF! BLAM! Nightfire teleported as quickly as she shot. BAMF! BLAM! BAMF! CLICK!

“You’re out of bullets bitch!” sneered Nightfire as he rocketed across the room, flames trailing behind him. She tossed the gun aside and as he approached, ducked and then uppercut him with a massive power-infused punch, slamming him up into the roof.

“Is that anyway to speak to your mother?”

Nightfire flew down with such speed and ferocity, crash tackling them both into the ground “What kind of mother dumps their child in a travelling freakshow?!? You gave up any maternal right years ago Raven”

“It’s Lazerfist boy!” she retorted as she headbutted him right on the bridge of the nose, breaking it with a loud crunch “I thought it would be a better place for you, but it seems you went and turned yourself from freak to monster when you hooked up with your Professor Charles Richards”

“X4 is my family Raven, more than you’ve ever been” Nightfire shot a burst of napalm from his hands which she rolled away from “Now, where are they?”

“You haven’t listened Kurt,” replied Raven as she unclipped a device from her belt “Your focus should be on me”

“Wie bitte?” Nightfire’s hands glowed, energy building inside them.

“It’s a bomb Kurt,” stated Lazerfist “Which will detonate the entire Baxmalkin Building if you don’t open Professor Richard’s vault for me”

Nightfire looked at his mother “The vault can’t be opened by individual X4 members, you dummkopf Kuh! You need a…” He stopped talking as Raven the Laserfist opened her hand to reveal three bloody balls on strings.

“Retina scans from the other three,” added Raven as she jingled the three eyeballs as one would a set of keys “Got that, just need yours. So do you want to do it the easy way or…” She drew a stiletto from her belt “Am I going to have to REALLY hurt you?”

“Ich hasse dich du alte Kackbratze!” swore Nightfire as he unleashed a furious burst of flames towards her.

**

(Nightfire created by. Raven Lazerfist created by me, and is a blending of Mystique & Lyja just in case you didn’t get it, just like Baxmalkin is a blend of Baxter & Greymalkin…you probably got that. Oh and if you want to know what is being said in German, just use google translate or guess)

***

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cbishop

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#35  Edited By cbishop

@NlGHTCRAWLER said:

@cbishop: Done and thanks!

Nice. I thought of one question about your story: if the handlebars twirled towards Nightfire, how did he speed away moments later? Did the handlebars return, boomerang style, or did an auxilary set pop out of the bike somewhere?

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cbishop

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#36  Edited By cbishop

@NlGHTCRAWLER: @batkevin74: batkevin74 reminded me of another standard use for italics: when your character says something in a language foreign to the main narrative. So the German bits in his story, had they been in a comic, probably would have been in italics. ;)

batkevin', gotta be honest, man: I dig your writing. :)

Still working on mine.

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batkevin74

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#37  Edited By batkevin74

@cbishop: Yeah, when they had Nightcrawler or Colossus speak native it'd be in bold and/or itallics

No Caption Provided
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#38  Edited By cbishop

@batkevin74: great scan. :)

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batkevin74

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#39  Edited By batkevin74

Nine days peoples, count'em 9. So get your stories crankin :)

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Pyrogram

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#40  Edited By Pyrogram

@batkevin74 said:

Nine days peoples, count'em 9. So get your stories crankin :)

Nice story dude :D

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#41  Edited By batkevin74

@Pyrogram: Ha ha :) Looking forward to seeing your entry

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#42  Edited By batkevin74
No Caption Provided

That's right, just 7 days to go for CCC#3. So far two enterants, so I expect the flurry of activity to start.....NOW! :)

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#43  Edited By Pyrogram

@batkevin74: I been busy, but I am on it :D

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#44  Edited By cbishop

@batkevin74: Dead on 600 words. I'd love to hear your (and anyone else's) critiques.

I got there just in time to hear, “I tire of you, dog,” followed by the tortured shriek of metal being ripped away from the body of a howling, demon possessed soul.

“Nooooooo!” shouted the soul, as his helmet peeled away to reveal a flaming skull, where the face of Johnny Von Doom should be. Tempted by a devil, Johnathan Von Doom made a deal to be possessed by a demon, to free the soul of his mother, who now rules Latkanda as the Black Hellcat. When it turned out the demon’s visage replaced his own, Doom hid his skeletal face behind an iron mask, and the rest of his flaming form in like armor. A motorcycle, his only concession to humanity, was transformed into a flaming wheeled bike for the monster that would be known as the Doom Rider. The flaming skeleton attempted to hide his face behind bony, burning hands.

“Begone, demon, and never threaten my waters again.” Clenching his bone white fists, his sockets smoldering, Doom glared at the hovering man. “The motorcycle is next,” warned his attacker. Gunning the engine, Doom Rider roared away with a long howl. The destroyed armor clattered to the ground from above. He should have expected Magnamor, when he tried to sink an oil tanker in the harbor. The Atlantean Monarch of Magnetism would never allow that. And honestly, a burning, metal encased demon goes together with a magnetic man of the sea about as well as… well, fire and water.

“Magnamor!” I called. “You know he’s going to come back! Doom doesn’t quit.”

“Nightfire!” called the monarch, and Doom’s armor flew at me, closing around me like an iron maiden, but to no effect.

A bamf of air and brimstone, and I was on Magnamor’s back – my hands on his shoulders, my feet gripping his legs, and my tail wound around his bare torso, all burning hot. “Why don’t you dry up?”

“You dare?!” he exclaimed. His metallic cape coiled around my body, ripped me away, and hurled me to one side. I hadn’t gone far, before I teleported again.

Materializing above him, I hovered and threw a few fireballs just in front of him, to get his attention. “I don’t want to do this, Magnamor!” It was true, I didn’t. Magnamor lived for years as Namor Eisenhardt, where he was imprisoned and branded as a Jew. The manifestation of his magnetic powers, and the discovery of tiny wings on his ankles, stayed his execution, until he was deemed too dangerous. Nazis drugged him, tied a stone around his neck, and threw him in the ocean. Then their troubles began. His memory instantly returned, the Atlantean monarch joined the Allies, and he was frequently known to throw German u-boats and battleships onto dry land, through a combination of magnetism and prodigious strength. He was a hero in my book, but I couldn’t let him tear up a New York harbor.

Just then, I saw a sight straight out of a newsreel. “Then do this – catch!” The oil freighter lifted out of the water, and scraped against dock and tarmac, before plowing through a few mostly empty warehouses. “Doom Rider can come back, but he won’t be sinking that ship in my waters! If he wants war, he will find Latkanda lacking against Atlantis, a kingdom larger than any other on this planet!” He then magnetically ripped the tanks out of the ship, set them aside, and crumpled the rest into a ball about the size of a tractor trailer. Eyebrow raised, he added, “Attack me again at your peril, boy.”

*******

Hey, just realized I should probably do a disclaimer thingie, likedid, since this is fanfic and all. So <ahem> Nightfire created by

Johnathan Von Doom (Dr Doom + Ghost Rider/ Johnny Blaze + Victor Von Doom), Magnamor/ Namor Eisenhardt (Magneto + Namor/ Namor + Max Eisenhardt), Black Hellcat (Black Panther + Hellcat + Doom's mom, sorta), and Latkanda (Latveria + Wakanda) were created by me, but are amalgams of known Marvel characters and places, owned by Marvel Comics. No infringement intended - just having some fun.

*******

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CantThinkOfName

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#45  Edited By CantThinkOfName

600 Words. I will try to make it work.

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Super_Perfect_Cell

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I'll see what I can do.

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batkevin74

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#47  Edited By batkevin74

@cbishop: Very cool! I do like this peering through a window into a brief snippet of Nightfire's life, bit like What If? stories. Very good especially the title :

The Atlantean Monarch of Magnetism

You had the villain AND an anti-hero Vs Nightfire, really good.

@CantThinkOfName: Looking forward to your entry

@Super_Perfect_Cell: And also looking forward to yours

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3ds24

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#48  Edited By 3ds24

This is what I got

The excoutiner is a demon for hell control by the widow to avenge her husband he is force to kill the human race and kill anyone race that get in the way.His weapon is the the soul axe

and the hand held crossbow first time he fought nightfire he was trying to kill a civilian then our of no where nightfire attack but once hit him he turn to black dust then reappear and slice

his chest. Badly wounded nigthfire turned to see the excoutiner disappear and the civilian dead and headless. nightfire soon heal himself and vow revenge.

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batkevin74

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#49  Edited By batkevin74

@3ds24: Short, sweet, only minor problem of spelling; Executioner.

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Pyrogram

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#50  Edited By Pyrogram

@cbishop: I like it man. I love the detail.