Character Creation Contest #21

A big thanks to everyone who voted for me last contest and to @wildvine who actually proved the inspiration for this round with the following query; "What about a centipede driving a BMW?"

As such here is something I fear deeply ->

<- And here's that other thing (please note that this is not the same car that's almost ran me down four times as of today)

And finally because terrifying things come in threes there's this picture ->

Those are your three characters for you to write about. No word limit just like last contest. Closing date is on the 22/01/14 or for those Americans out there 01/22/14. Good Luck, have fun and let's see what comes crawling out of the woodwork.

Oh and can either @the_poet or @dngn4774 pin this please

#impurestnarcassistout

Cars, centipedes and you....

@batkevin74: Yep I'm changing my name to Impurest Narcissist :-)

Challenge Accepted.

Ah, dang, how'd I miss this deadline by a year? :}

...And this is really the contest? I got nothin'.

@cbishop: Yep, will change the date later still not used to 2014. You'll think of something I'm sure, it's not like I'm expecting totally accurate Impurest representations here.

@impurestcheese: Do we have to call her ImpurestCheese? Or Queen of Spam?

@cbishop: Impurest will do our if you want to be even more accurate Elouise Clayton

@impurestcheese: Well, maybe. I don't know if I have anything this round. We'll see.

@cbishop: You'll think of something

Bump

@the_poet or @razzatazz, can you pin this and unpin contest 20 please? (Reposting, because I read somewhere that the callouts don't work from the OP)

So do we write about one of the three, or do we write about all three? or do we go make tacos.... yummm tacos... I'ma go get a taco.

@drtank09: All three. Plus no tacos for you Dr09. You can have a taco when you finish your work. :-)

<Eyes darting back and forth between the woman with the crossbow and his perfectly wrapped soft-shell beef taco, he slowly lowers the delicacy that only moments before brushed his lip... The sent of salty sweet seasoning, fresh peppers, and the spice of chilpotle filled his nose as a solitary tear shimmered and drew a line of disappointment, moping down his face...>

@impurestcheese

@drtank09: Goof now start writing :-)

@drtank09: I might have to watch out for you, "dat writing". I felt your pain, for a second it was as if we were cloaked in the same blanket of sadness- and then there was hope, hope that even if you were taco-less for today, maybe, just maybe I could eat a taco on behalf of the less fortunate.

@drtank09 said:

I don't know if you're aware of where this came from or not, but this was from an anti-littering campaign that ran during the 1970's. Let me tell you: that was the saddest Indian (we hadn't gotten around to calling them Native Americans yet) on Earth when that ad ran. I knew people who actually cried when they saw him cry.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled contest.

@cbishop: Thanks for that informative message, but when I searched for it I was thinking of Wane's world after the concert. I knew of the ad that this indian-native american-casino ownin'-dude above was in but I've never seen it.

@project_worm:

Thanks, but what can I say... I'm a large white guy that plays a rough sport... food is one of three passions.

but seriously, go eat a taco.... do it for the children. there are taco-less kids in Africa.

@drtank09: Rough Sport? I play women's rugby. What do you play?

@impurestcheese: I play university-level mens rugby for USI. Right now we are #4 in the nation in the US league.

@drtank09: There's the difference me and my friends play for fun in the UK every Sunday.

@impurestcheese: @drtank09: I used to play tag in pre-school.... Yeah

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x45n0fyCXmc this was our team, I'm the big guy in the black pea coat on the right. Unfortunately I didn't get to play in the half of the match that they highlight... our camera man didn't arrive til the second half.

I've only ever played two games of rugby in my life, and I have to say that's more than enough. I broke three fingers my first game and although I got much luckier the second time around, I'd rather play flag/touch football if pads are unavailable. I'm simply not manly enough.

hahah, I get bloodied every Thursday at practice. I don't know why it happens but that is why I always use a mouth-guard. My problem is keeping up with the backs... In the last match I played I got a cleat to the side during a ruck and couldn't breathe the second half of the match.

@drtank09: I have gained numerous injuries over our matches that sort of blend in with my work injuries. That cleat thing is nasty although I've never had it happen to me. I did get studded in the arm once.

I was in a wheel chair after I had surgery done on my feet awhile back, hence the reason why I got into the game so late, and have broken ever ligament at least five times. I have no feeling in my left foot except for my in my toes for some reason, right foot and both hands go numb... I've shit so much that I actually don't even notice when its broken any more... which is the reason I needed the surgery because my bones healed but didn't grow together so I had three in the place of one. :D f safety.

@impurestcheese: I got this in my inbox the other day...

My name is Chilo and yes, I am a centipede!

I can see you squirm at the thought of something like me being sentient, let alone being able to speak your language. It is okay, I felt exactly the same way about you pink bipeds initially. But being a creature of rationale and logic I got over it, hopefully you will too.

I have recently acquired a car. A shiny black Mercedes Benz in fact. But as you know, I am a centipede and unable to drive one of your ridiculous creations, no more than you sense vibrations through your legs. So I wish give you this car.

But to transfer the ownership of it to you, I will require a few things of you. Your full name, address, date of birth and social security number to make the transfer legal. Also a bank account since in centipede society it is rude not to give an honoured person, such as yourself, a small gift of money.

Please feel free to contact me at impurestcheese@queenofspam.nothreadissafe.yahoo.com as I would like to be rid of it quickly as it is parked upon some prime feeding ground for me and my fellow centipedes.

Anticipating to hear from you soon.

Thanks and God Bless.

Best regards.
Chilo Pedere

@batkevin74: Those damm centipedes get everywhere even in your inbox. Do I assume that this is your entry or is it merely a teaser of what's to come. Also no, no way am I giving money to a centipede now if you excuse me I have to give some details to a scorpion claiming that it's the prime minister of Australia. :-)

@impurestcheese: Totes legit

Considering the elements, I'm pretty happy I came up with that :)

@batkevin74: Yeah I've been a bit devious this time with the theme. It's partially to spite a certain burning telegram who thought he was going to stomp on everyone with his fear tactics and 'big man on campus' attitude.

@impurestcheese: Those were fear tactics? I laughed myself silly. Take the vote, then he can brag. If anyone has BMOC status here, it would be batkev' and his six wins.

@cbishop: Yeah but for all we know it might be seven at the end of the month.

@impurestcheese: Always possible.

@cbishop: Yep. Then again it may be your second win. :-)

@impurestcheese: For that, I have to first get an entry in, and then get the votes. ;)

@cbishop: Good Luck

@impurestcheese: Thanks. I'm working up an idea. Here's hoping I can get it done in time. How is yours going?

@cbishop: Oh it's okay

Quite a hard "topic" if you will. I think I'll watch

@4donkeyjohnson: Not really Centipedes (creepy), BMWs (kind of mean) and a wacked out red head. Easy when you sum it up like that. Give it a go and see what happens.

@impurestcheese: To quote the greatest actor of my generation "A man's got to know his limitations."

@4donkeyjohnson: Nice Eastwood Reference BTW

I was gonna join a character creation contest....But all I see is include a centipede contest XP I'll join when we next have a real writing task lol

@pyrogram: Copooooooout! We've proven over-and-over again that you can take this kind of contest and still make original characters with it. If it's too hard, just say so. :P ("terror of the fanfic forum" my eye).

@cbishop: lol It's called having standards :P I'd be a hypocrite to enter a competition I thought was a detriment to the entire contest. Which this is, it's a joke.

So you ruin an entire contest because you cannot take a joke? See, people like you ruin the entire fan fiction board with childish behavior like this. This contest is a joke, it's ridiculous.

@pyrogram: It's no more a joke than contest 9 was, and you won that one! This may be harder to do something with than a general "write a ninja OC" for instance, but you can make an OC from this challenge. It's just that this time your character types are a centipede-ish character and a chick with a crossbow that just happens to be named ImpurestCheese...who interact with a car somewhere along the way. This is totally doable. So do it, Mr. "Be afraid ff forum." ;P (Going home from work now)