Lots of entries this time into CCC#15.
In preparation for the 50th anniversary of the international hero known as G.I Joe, you have been asked to create a Joe. Larry Hama* one of the premiere writers of G.I Joe has personally asked YOU to create a member of the Joe’s who will be turned into a limited edition action figure (imagine your character) --->
AND featured in the next film!
Larry has set some rules:
* NO COBRA! You are creating a G.I Joe, a hero. So no double agent or sleeper agents for the bad guys.
*NO RELATIONS! No sons of Snake Eyes or cousins of Duke or anything like that. It’s a new Joe without blood or marriage ties to any other Joe or Cobra. Even next door neighbours, foster kids, ex-lovers just in case. We need some new blood!
*NO KILLING ESTABLISHED CHARACTERS! Your guy or girl may be the best in their field, but putting a bullet into Cobra Commanders head for a first timer isn’t believable, practical or inventive. You can kill Cobra troops, Python patrols, B.A.T’s, Crimson Guards etc to your hearts content. Wounding, arm breaking, knocking out of established characters is fine but killing will get your entry ignored.
*NO SWEARING! Damn, heck, hell, bother, darnit etc are fine but since we want kids to buy this toy in droves no swearing, not even #%@! or $#!t.
There is no word limit on this, but remember if its too long, then people stop reading so average attention span runs 700-1300 words. Unless its good and people will follow you to the ends of the earth and beg for more. Use your own judgement on this.
Here is a link to G.I Joe on Wikipedia which may or may not help: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Category:G.I._Joe
Best of luck to you all. The contest will start on the 23rd August 2013 (Australian time) and run for eight days to get entries in, closing on the 31st at midnight then voting will commence. I urge you all to enter.
*Larry Hama was actually being played by batkevin74 in this scenario, apologies to him and for the pretence.
That was the criteria. Now we would like you to vote. If you wrote a story you can vote but not for yourself, kinda defeats the purpose. We will have 6 days of voting so from today the 2/9/2013 until 8/9/2013 (may look funny to you American's but that's how we Australian's write the date; day first then month)
Stories below are in the order they were posted, read, enjoy, comment and please vote. Voting helps seperate us from animals, communists and communist animals...
Black Box by Impurest Cheese
Macau Dragon Casino, Macau
The two identical well built oriental men in suits cracked their knuckles before one of the enforcers punched the bound blonde woman dressed in an orange tank top and kaki trousers complete with a matching hunting jacket in the face to even up the already black eyes with a broken nose. Bound to the chair the woman grunted and screamed in pain at the impact before hanging her head in a sign of exhaustion and apparent defeat.
"Look at me." A Portuguese accented voice ordered, "Look at me JOE." The woman kept staring at the floor so the voice asked again. "Look at me Valkyrie." The woman looked up to see an oriental man with a lean, hard edged face, the left cheek baring a slithering snarling moray eel wrapped around the Mandarin Chinese character 'Siwang', a potent symbol that backed the man's nasty attitude and aggressive features. "Do you think I'm an idiot Valkyrie?" The man asked, "You come into the Dragon Eel's Casino and blatantly blurt out your codename on a phone. Our cell snipers can track and decrypt the coded messages Beijing sends to the local government, your phone was like breaking into a child's puzzle box, an easy task for my network and that of our COBRA clients.
"Begynn opptak." The woman cried in Norwegian before the Dragon Eel slapped her round the face, the blow causing her to scream in pain.
"Speak in a language that is spoken here." The Dragon Eel commanded, "Mandarin, Cantonese, Portuguese, Malay even English I don't care which you chose but speak."
"My name is Jena Johansson I work for Raido Computer Consulting; I just came to upgrade the casino's computers." Jena whimpered. The Dragon Eel smiled to reveal filed canine teeth before clicking his fingers to signal the heavies to continue beating his captive. "Why are you doing this?" She cried between blows to the chest and face.
"Because JOE, a COBRA agent Firefly recently stole sensitive data regarding current and future operations against several locations held around the world by their organization." The Dragon Eel hissed as the thugs stopped beating their captive and backed off. "They are having some trouble decoding some files and set a trap to lure an agent here in the hopes that you will cooperate with their project."
"I can't break your codes." Jena replied through gasps. "My name isn't Jo and the Valkyrie thing is just an in company joke."
"Enough lies my men saw and heard you." The Dragon Eel announced angrily, getting to his feet and slamming the table with both hands. "Now tell me what is the unlock code for the files marked Black Box?"
"I don't know." Jena answered before a knock on the door sounded and one of the thugs went to open it. As he did a man clad in amber ballistic armour decorated with black spider webs stepped inside carrying a black briefcase and an MP7 Machine Pistol, the later being placed on the table in front of Jena, the mere sight of the weapon causing her to panic even more frantically then she had.
"Ah Weaver, I trust the data is secure in COBRA's Stealth Ship just outside of Chinese Waters?" The Dragon Eel asked the new arrival.
"Delivered it myself." Weaver answered, "The thing is shielded against radar, can encrypt outgoing transmissions and has enough ordinance to level Macau. Factor in the brigade of elite troops and the remote sentry turrets Bocanegra sent over from the US and any JOE going in is not coming back out."
"Good, I have another matter to attend to." The Dragon Eel hissed, "All I need you to do is to break this JOE grunt and get the access code. When she's talked dispose of her and burn all of her effects. Use the apartment block the Five Houses bought for redevelopment, I will smooth over the damage with the other heads of the families."
"Anything you need help with?" Weaver asked.
"No one of my escorts was caught selling her daughter to an American man called Grady. Their family owes me a debt and she and her little girl were good money earners but alas they have outlived their usefulness." The Dragon Eel announced as he left the room. Weaver turned to look at Jena and flipped open the case to reveal an array of knives and other sharpened metal object. Fishing through the case Weaver brought out a gold mask featuring a horrifying face surrounded by tentacles and showed it to Jena.
"What do you think?" He asked her, "I got this from some Peruvian art dealer. He claims it was cursed with a Moche death hex that would release the Sea God. Personally I think the guy was looking for a better sale so I killed him, but first I did to him what I am going to do to you." He added pulling out a plastic tub with a ventilated lid that wobbled ominously as the animal inside moved around. Reaching in he pulled out a twenty centimetre long orange and black centipede, the oversized invertebrate aggressively trying to coil round his hand. "I also picked this up." Weaver announced, "The venom causes extreme pain in humans. The particular species of Scolopede is aggressive and nervous and will bite on the slightest hint of danger. As soon as you tell me what I need to know then I will release her from your arm and you from your pain. Do we have an accord?"
Jena nodded and braced herself for the coming pain that Weaver had promised. In his office the Dragon Eel watched as a nerdy Japanese man tapped the copies of the files they had removed from Jena's computer. "Takamoto do we have anything on Black Box files yet?" The Dragon Eel asked as he took a quick puff on the cigarette he was smoking.
"Not yet sir." Takamoto answered, "But I found Raido Computer Consultancy and checked their employee files. There is a Jena Johansson working for them and it appears the female staff members consider themselves techno Valkaries as some kind of in joke since Raido is the Norse Rune for the future. Wait we're in." He added excitedly as a video popped up on screen with a cat flying through the sky leaving a rainbow contrail behind it.
"What is this?" The Dragon Eel asked angrily.
"Nyan Cat." Takamoto answered, "Wait there's more." he gulped as letters flew up one by one to read the following; BLACK BOX TROJAN ACTIVATED. FILE TRANSFER COMPLETE. DELETING STORED MEMORY AND REMOTE HARDRIVE DATA.
"Black Box isn't a file it's a person." The Dragon Eel roared before turning to the security monitors only to see hissing static. With a roar of anger he left the room and ran down the stairs cursing angrily in the local Macau dialect and pushing unfortunate employees away before reaching the back room. Cautiously he opened the door to see his two enforcers dead the bullet wounds in their chests causing artistic smears across the wall while Weaver laid face up on the floor, the bullet holes in his visor currently filled by a massive centipede attempting to squirm inside his helmet. "Find her." The Dragon Eel yelled. "Bring me her head."
Jena staggered outside of the Macau Dragon Casino past the guards. She knew they had seen people in worse states emerge, usually cheating gamblers and battered prostitutes, so they did nothing to stop her. After clearing a block she removed her right shoe, swivelled the heel open and removed a disposable mobile phone. After a few seconds the device chimed and she accepted the call.
"Duke it's Black Box. Did the data transmit?" Jena asked.
"Got it loud and clear." The man on the other end of the line answered. "We are down at the docks working on the guidance system to the Patrol Boat Weaver was using thanks to the data the Trojan recovered."
"Good, I also managed to recover a stolen Pre Columbian Face Plate." Jena added removing the Moche mask from under her jacket. I'm sure somebody is looking for it."
"Good Work." The second agent told her. "Head back to regional control and we'll go pay Firefly a visit. That git won't escape this time."
"Go JOE." Jena answered before turning the phone off and looking out to the harbour before throwing the mobile onto the street to the mercy of the traffic and sticking her hand out to hail a cab.
Images are From;
2 (Scolopede) - www.arkive.org
Fort Wadsworth, week 1
General Colton looked at the photos on his desk, his face emotionless as his eyes danced across the pictures. Beside him stood Major-General Hawk, his arms folded as he also looked at the pictures.
“What do you think?” asked Colton as he leant back in his chair.
“Some of them think this American Idol,” replied Hawk “And not a G.I Joe recruitment drive. And this one!” Hawk stabbed a finger onto a picture of a young Asian man in glasses “Cobra must think we’re stupid!”
“You picked him too.” said Colton with a wry smile “Falcon and Roadblock have taken him out for some ‘special manoeuvres’”
Hawk laughed “Poor guy. So what about these other seven?”
“Run them till we only have one left!” said Colton as he looked out the window to the seven recruits standing in the rain holding sodden battlepacks above their heads. “I’d like to take them all but our budget allows for only one.”
Fort Wadsworth, week 4
Sergeant Slaughter looked at the five very tired recruits standing before him. So far they’d endured essentially the hardest parts of Spetsnatz, SAS, Mossad, Delta Force and SEAL Team 6 entry training rolled into a three week course, only two dropping out.
“Sound off maggots!”
“Wellington, Emma! Code name Grey Zone!”
“Tamm, Jeremy! Code name Sea Eagle!”
“Cook, Jon! Code name Hot Box!”
“Harada, Monica! Code name Dragon Claw!”
“Sulley, Mike! Code name Monster!”
Slaughter shook his head at their call signs “You maggots will now have five minutes of personal time. Then we move onto some ACTUAL hard training! Hoo-Urr!”
Fort Wadsworth, week 5
“And then there were three!” growled Slaughter at the exhausted recruits before him; Sea Eagle, Hot Box and Monster. “Attention!”
They snapped to attention as Slaughter circled them like a shark around a bleeding swimmer.
“You’re next task is simple. You will have eight hours of personal time before you will run Tiger Force obstacle course. It is a live fire exercise! Rock’n’Roll, Zap, Hardball and Tripwire will be actively trying to kill you! You will NOT! I repeat, YOU WILL NOT DIE! That is a direct order! Do you get me?”
“WE GET YOU SIR!”
Fort Wadsworth, week 6
Duke looked at the two remaining recruits; Sea Eagle & Hot Box. They looked like death could come along any moment at take the off. Duke took a seat as he flipped through their files.
“Sea Eagle. Airborne infantry specialising in BASE jumping and HALO. We’ve already got a jumper, name of Ripcord. I’ve also got Altitude, Airborne, Freefall and a dozen others in Sky Patrol. Why do I need you?”
“BASE jumping and HALO are two totally different disciplines sir!” replied Sea Eagle.
“You’ve got an accent” remarked Duke.
“So do you sir!”
“Sir, yes sir?”
Duke looked over at Hot Box “And you. Pyrotechnics and flamethrower expert. We’ve got Blowtorch, Charbroil, Barbeque, even Roadblock can use a flamethrower!”
“Not like me” remarked Hot Box with a glint in his eye.
“You’re both good,” said Duke “Very good, but we can only take one. Your final test is to enter that building. Your mission is to hit…” He paused and waited as Snake Eyes seemingly stepped out of thin air before them “Snake Eyes. Take whatever weapons you need.”
Snake Eyes bowed slightly to the recruits, Duke tapping him on the shoulder “Be nice”
Fort Wadsworth, infirmary week 7
General Colton, Duke and Snake Eyes marched into the ward. Lying in bed with a bruised jaw, black eye and recovering from a concussion was Sea Eagle. He tried to sit up to salute, fumbled and then gave up.
“At ease soldier” said Colton.
“Fankyousir” mumbled Sea Eagle as he glared at Snake Eyes.
“Welcome to the Joes!” said Duke “You passed.”
Sea Eagle smiled. Snake Eyes pointed to his eyes and then back at Sea Eagle before leaving the room.
“How exactly did you hit Snake?” asked Colton admiring Eagle’s injuries.
“I bit him” chuckled Sea Eagle.
40,000ft above Cobra Island, week 11
Sea Eagle stood in the door way of the Joe Transport, fingers gripped into the metal door as the wind tried to suck him out into the sky.
“Are we clear?” yelled Ripcord over the drone of the engines.
“Crystal!” yelled Sea Eagle “High altitude, low open, glide in via wingsuit, plant beacon, wait for Recondo and Jinx, don’t die!”
“You’ll do okay” laughed Ripcord as he pushed him out of the plane. Sea Eagle howled with joy as he free fell towards the stronghold of the enemy.“THIS IS THE BEST THING!”
(BASE & HALO Jumper)
File name: Tamm, JeremySN: AUS33786CC
Primary Military Specialty: Airborne Infantry
Secondary Military Speciality: Demolition, Unarmed Combat
Birthplace: Canberra, ACT, AustraliaGrade: E-3
Sea Eagle joined the RAAF cadets and progressed into the RAAF in his late teens. Began specialising BASE, HALO and sky drops, also participating in the X-Games in his time off. Lent out to the US and the UK air forces to train them. Joined the G.I Joe force to further career and make a difference.
The earpieces made the barest squelch as a mic came to life. A baritone voice barked, "This is Yellow One! I'll be in position by the time the rest of you are done!" The Joe behind the voice gunned a bright yellow Humvee up a rough mountain road, headlights bouncing to the right and left a little bit, but with a firm grip on the wheel. The Hummer sported a big white circle on the hood with the number one in the center. "Let me know where you're at, Joes! Sound off!" The earpieces clicked silent.
Another mic flared and the earpieces this time broadcast the sound of a dirt track motorbike. "Yo Joe! This is Blue Two! One distraction, headed for the hot zone! Be there in ninety seconds!" The rider popped a wheelie just before jumping a small hill. The blue motorcycle bore a white circle on the side with the number two in the center. The engine whined faster just before the earpieces went silent.
Immediately following Blue Two, another mic went live and a quiet voice responded, "Red Three, in position. Eyes on Purple Four. Yo Joe." Then nothing. Having already breached the target structure, Red Three crouched in shadows, peering from the side of a window, across the street at the shapely figure of Purple Four.
A tall, ebony woman sat casually at a sidewalk bar table, across the street from the ski lodge. The lodge's main atrium was almost completely glass walls. She took a sip of her beer, and wondered what the place looked like in winter. She smiled demurely as she spoke into her mic. "Purple Four, in position, ready for Green Six. Enjoy your view, Red Three. Yo Joe." Red Three made no response.
Purple Four had barely finished transmitting when another mic squelched, and the earpieces sounded with, "It ain't like that, Four. He's marr...Ouch! Mannn! Sonuvag..." the mic went silent for two beats, then continued, "...Mm! Sorry! Last wire got me! Orange Five in position. Final charge is set, power's ready to go. Eyes on Green Six. Dang! Yo Joe."
Green Six smiled broadly at the passersby, and spoke into her mic, "Yo Joe. Green Six, approaching the main door. I'll be there twenty seconds ahead of Blue Two. Orange Five, keep your eyes in your head, hon'." She spied Orange Five in the shadows of the side of the lodge, and saw his shoulders slump a little. She smiled wider as she made eye contact with the first guard.
From his spot in a tree, the man acting as the squad's sniper answered, "Brown Seven in position. Scope on two bogies upstairs, five bogies downstairs. Might be more outside the atrium. I do not have eyes on objective. Yo Joe." Then it was silent once more.
The earpieces were quiet for another two seconds, and Yellow One cut in, "Black Eight! Are you in position?"
Another second, and the radio came alive with, "She'll be comin' 'round the mountain when she commes! She'll be comin' 'round the mountain when she commmes! She'll be comin' 'round the mountain, she'll be..." the earpieces squelched as the transmission cut short.
Yellow One jumped in, "Then Yo Joe! You're all a go! Get in the mix and bring it home, Green Six!" The radios went silent.
The guard at the door took a moment to appreciate the woman coming his way, before waving her off, "Sorry, lady, the lodge is closed. Off season."
Green Six continued up the stairs undeterred, smiling big. She let the Southern drawl drip from her voice as she answered, "Oh honey, I know, but I'm lookin' for a friend, and I simply must use the powder room! Trust me, I am too far away from my hotel to make it back in time."
The guard scowled, "Then use the bar across the street. The lodge is closed."
Green Six scrunched her nose in the direction of the bar. "Oh, darlin', no. That'll never do. Besides, you let him in."
"Who..." the guard started, but was interrupted by the high whine of a motorcycle engine. He turned in time to see a motorcycle jump the ridge and go crashing through the glass on the far side of the atrium. "What the hoog!" he shouted as he went down from a knee to the groin. Automatic weapons fire sounded from within.
"Well there's my friend now, sugah! Thanks for your help," said Green Six, already headed up the remaining steps to the door.
From the ground, the guard reached into his jacket for a gun, but before he could draw it, he heard a rich voice with a hint of French warn, "I wouldn't do that, were I you." He looked back in surprise, just in time to see the black boot of Purple Four swinging at his face. His head snapped backwards and he fell unconscious. She picked up his gun and moved along the left of the building, towards the side.
In the atrium, Blue Two had landed on one of the gunmen downstairs with his motorcycle. Rolling into a crouch, he had taken out one downstairs with multiple shots, and one upstairs as he ran for cover behind one of the atrium's support columns. Single rifle shots sounded from outside as Brown Seven fired into the atrium, taking out one gunman upstairs who was trained on Blue Two, one downstairs who was trying to circle around, and two who came in from the side, on the upper level.
At the door, Green Six used a knife to take out a man who had charged her. Using him as a shield to catch several bullets, she fired under his arm and caught her would-be killer in the chest, across the atrium floor. As a lower door swung open into the atrium, she shot the first two that came out, threw a flashbang at the rest, and shot two more before it went off just inside the doorway. The stunned gunmen inside never had a chance to recover. Green Six took the remaining five out with a series of knives, close quarter gunshots, and even one well placed punch to the back of a man's neck, dropping him instantly.
As she started down the hallway, the power went out, and a series of explosions sounded from all over the resort. She tapped her right temple, and the night vision in her contacts kicked in. She definitely liked the Joe technology. She turned the corner and was surprised to see bodies littering the hallway. She heard a sharp crack and another man flew into view from the next corner, laid out on top of one his compatriots. She hugged the wall briefly, until she saw Purple Four step around the corner and give her a thumbs up. Green Six sprinted down the hall, and they took the stairs together, Four scouting ahead, and Six watching their backs.
They opened the door to the second floor cautiously, but were greeted by more bodies, and no sign of Red Three. Four tapped Six on the shoulder. She pointed to her ear, and then to a closed room down the hall, where they heard the loud cracks of punches, and the grunts of the man being punched. They moved swiftly down the hall, stepping over bodies as they went. Purple Four motioned a three count, then kicked the door in. Six popped in at a crouch, and said, "Heya, boys." There was a man in the center of the room, duct taped to a chair, two men working him over, and a third man standing close by with a gun. Green Six fired twice, taking the gunman in the chest and head. Purple Four stood behind her, and took the two thugs out with headshots. She quickly put a hand on Six's head, keeping her from standing, and sent a knife sailing into a fourth man who burst from a bathroom on the right.
The two women advanced into the room and cut the tape from the captive's arms and ankles. Six said, "We're here to get you out, sir."
"Can you walk?" asked Purple Four.
Through split and swollen lips, the man said, "If it gets us out, I'll dance a tango." Green Six admired him instantly for wit in the face of torture. Four slid one hand under his arm and helped him up. They started for the door, when a gunman burst from an adjoining room. Four moved to shield the man they rescued, but he moved suddenly, grabbing a knife from her waist, throwing her to one side with a palm strike to her chest, and sending the knife into the gunman, all in seemingly one movement.
A second gunman stepped from the door and ordered, "Freeze," having the drop on all three. Something skittered across the floor, and he looked down to see a string of beads, some of which looked like skulls. "What the..." and the rest was drowned out with a bang.
Red Three took three steps into the room and tossed a flashbang into the adjoining room. He rushed in quickly, popped off one round, and called, "Clear!" Coming back into the room, he snapped, "Go! Get him downstairs!" Then into the mic, "Yellow One, this is Red Three! We have secured the objective and are headed to the front! What's your E.T.A.?" He snatched the beads from the floor before running out behind Four, Six, and their rescue.
Yellow One answered, "I'll be there in ten, my friend!"
As he caught up to Green Six, she asked, "A Memento Mori?"
"My son gave it to me. He told me I'd 'better bring it back'." He shoved it in a pocket as they ran.
They rushed down the stairs, through the hallways, and burst into the atrium, heading for the front door. Blue Two was holding the door open, rolling his arm like a third base coach, motioning them to keep going. All five hustled down the steps to the yellow Hummer waiting for them in the street. Brown Seven was sprinting from the woods on the other side. They piled in and Yellow One sped forward to meet Orange Five, who was now sprinting from the far end of the street. Green Six swung a door open for him, and he jumped in as soon as the Hummer stopped. Taking off again, One called, "Hey, Five! They all alive?"
Five slapped the back of the front seat, "The charges set off the fire systems all over the resort, and the tourists they were using for cover evacuated smoothly! They were hustled into the 'tour busses' we had waiting, and are on their way down the mountain now! We're good to go!"
Yellow One tapped his mic and barked, "Yo, Black Eight! We're out the gate! Bring the pain and make it rain! LZ in three!"
Just before dipping over the rise, Purple Four looked out the back window of the Hummer, and saw a chopper swinging around the other side of the peak, "comin' 'round the mountain," just like Black Eight had said. Their earpieces crackled, "YEEEEEEE-HAAAAAAHHHHHHH! I got a big can of whoop-it, and I brought enough for everybody! Get some, boys! YOOOOOO JOE!" Firing off several Hellfire missiles, the entire resort was leveled and burning in seconds. Several seconds after that, the Apache was passing them overhead. It was all black, and had a giant white circle on the underside, with an eight in the center.
Approximately three minutes later, they arrived at the landing zone, where Black Eight was already waiting. Yellow One came to a stop, and looking at their rescue, said, "This is your ride, sir."
Brown Seven had jumped out and was getting the man's door, "Sir, if you'll come with me, I'll get you into the cockpit." They rushed over to the copter, and once he was secured, Black Eight lifted off again. Brown Seven ran back to the Humvee and jumped in again. "Alright! Let's get home! Yo Joe!"
"Yo Joe!" the group answered back.
“Home and debrief in fourteen hours,” called Yellow One, and they continued down the mountain.
General Hawk surveyed the training room, 7 men lay on the floor in various states of unconsciousness. Standing in their midst was the grey haired, slightly hunched man who had put them all there. To describe the man would require liberal use of the words "ugly" and "bastard" in that order, and also the words, cauliflower eared, lizard lipped, rat eyed and caveman browed. He looked up to lock eyes with Gen. Hawk and wiped his sweaty hands on the filthy apron he was wearing.
General Hawk turned to Duke and gave him a smile."I think we just found our new Joe"
"Think? This guy just took down every other applicant in a faster time than Snake Eyes! Think is an understatement."
Duke walked over to the victor, stepping over the prone form of a man in sailors attire."That was impressive, and i might add, a new record."
"Aw geez, Ah Thanks Duke."
Duke retrieved a phone sized tablet from a pocket and begin scrolling through a detailed file of the man who had just become the newest addition to The Real American Heroes. "Hmmm, Says here you are fluent in Chinese but your background is Italian, Dutch and Armenian, father unknown?"
"Yeah, that's right. I don't like to talk about him, the sitcheeation is weird." The mans odd accent leading to the irregular pronunciation of "situation".
"Right, and I see that you spent quite a few years on the boxing circuit, which would explain your reliance on that particular form of combat. I think you may have knocked the tattoos off that guy." Duke gestured to the prone sailor who was now beginning to stir. "Also experienced in smuggling and a basic knowledge of surgery, albeit unlicensed."
"I also mix a mean cocktail."
"I'll be sure and let Roadblock know that, he loves a Shirley Temple. Also good to see that you are proficient in the use of, how do I put this, exotic vehicles?"
They both turned and looked at the odd contraption in the corner, basically a 4 foot fan with backpack-like straps attached. "Ah, thats not really mine, I kinda borrowed that."
Duke smirked "Nonetheless, you're our man" Duke reached out and shook the mans hand, and only then as he took a step towards him did he notice the smell coming from him. The thought occurred to Duke that If this guy was a cartoon character he would be drawn with stink lines for gods sake.
The man turned to leave, heading in the direction of his transportation. Duke and Gen.Hawk saluted him as he walked away.
"Welcome aboard G.I Moe!" they said in unison.
As he stepped past one of his fallen adversaries, the sailor, the man noticed he was reaching for an open can of spinach that was lying just out of reach. Moe kicked the can across room and said "Better luck next time Sailor Man."
The Newest Joe, Flaming Moe.
‘GI Joe is the codename for America's daring, highly trained special mission force. Its purpose: to defend human freedom against Cobra- a ruthless, terrorist organization determined to rule the world.’
Deep underneath the motor pool of Chaplain's Assistant School in Fort Wadsworth on Staten Island, ‘The Pitt” is hidden from public and is the base of operations for GI Joe.
Here we join Flint, a master tactician, Duke, Field Commander and second-in-command of the G.I. Joe team, and General Hawk, leader of the Joes and chair of this important meeting today.
“Gentlemen, I have received intel from our agents that Cobra has infiltrated the United Nations and Zartan is posing as an Ambassador." General Hawk informed his officers.
“Do we know which nation General? We know the former members of the Union of Soviet Socialist Republic had ties in the past to Cobra,” questioned Duke.
“Unfortunately that is a negative Soldier. Our intel has revealed only he is posing in the UN. We need a specialist Joe on this so we don’t disrupt the carbon tax debate. Flint, you have a new Joe for such a case?” Asked General Hawk
“That’s correct sir. We have been training a new special agent just for this type of scenario. If you could please look at these dossiers you’ll see we have the perfect Joe for the job”.
Flint then passed on the manila folders stamped Confidential in red ink to his commanding officers.
Code Name: Deploy ‘ Matt
Negations, 17 foreign languages, Industrial Law, Business Economics, Sociology, and Psychology.
Tactical analysis, Windows 97 and Traffic management.
“I thought you had a Joe here, not some hippy with an appetite for social economics?” A startled Duke questioned Flint.
‘This isn’t 1983 any more Duke. This mission requires a Joe who is up with the times and knows how things like carbon taxes works. Sending in a Joe who is shirtless and wearing a bandana is pretty much going to blow any response we have to this intel”, retorted an irate Flint
“Gentlemen please”, intervened General Hawk. “This world has changed and this type of Joe is what we need for the mission. Flint, debrief Deploy’ Matt and get him a seat at the UN. Have Lady Jaye accompany him in case he has trouble pushing his pen.”
Dressed in civilian corporate attire, Lady Jaye stood patiently on the busy steps of the United Nations Headquarters in New York City between 42nd Street and 48th Street, awaiting the arrival of Deploy’Matt. Lady Jaye gave her short brown hair a brush back as she spotted Deploy ‘Matt approaching her.
“Lady Jaye it’s a real pleasure to meet you ma’am.” Deploy ’Matt, smartly dressed in a blue suit, extended a friendly hand shake to Lady Jaye.
“Not my usual kind of partner or assignment Deploy ’Matt, but I hear you’re the best at this diplomatic nonsense. Myself, I prefer going under cover or being in the heart of the action. What’s the plan of attack?”
“Well we get to sit around and monitor. There’s some real interesting topics going on. Particularly Australia’s decision to cut the carbon tax and the impacts that will have on countries such as China where the funds are actually going towards preventative methods to their industrial pollution.”
“And that will help us find Zartan how?” quizzed Lady Jaye
“It probably won’t , but jeez it’s an exciting turn given the tax was only implemented a couple of years back and their cousins in New Zealand have been paying the tax for years. ”
“I better get a grande coffee then…….”
Several days and gallons of grande coffee later at the UN’s headquarters, Lady Jaye and Deploy ‘Matt’s mission was starting to make head way. Deploy ’Matt thrived in his discussions with all levels of the UN Ambassadors.
The only country working the room better was one of the targets, Kazakhstan, its Ambassador was the life of the party. Particularly networking with the US of A and Sweden. Discussions were generally around worshiping the Hawk which Lady Jaye found amusing given the head of GI Joe is also a hawk.
Deploy ‘Matt and lady Jaye had been ghosting the former members of the Union of Soviet Socialist Republics looking for any discrepancies.
Belarus, Uzbekistan, Armenia and Estonia were tightly knit and seemed to break away alone from other UN groups at every interval.
Georgia, Latvia, Lithuania, Republic of Moldova, Tajikistan and Azerbaijan also maintained contact with other parties so Deploy ’Matt’s focus remained on Belarus, Uzbekistan, Armenia and Estonia.
Estonia, for one of the smaller countries, seemed to command a higher gratis in the group it kept, giving tell-tale signs that this may be the operative they have been searching for.
Lady Jaye surprisingly learned a lot about why we have a carbon tax and blamed this for the overpriced grande coffee she’d been drinking.
The Estonian Ambassador left his group and headed towards the men’s wash room. This was the first time he’d been separated from the group and was a perfect opportunity for Deploy ’Matt to follow him in and ask questions.
Casually taking the urinal next to the Estonian Ambassador, Deploy ’Matt started his queries.
“Ambassador Urmas Paet, it is a pleasure to meet you, sorry I can’t shake your hand. “
The Estonian Ambassador chuckled.
“I’ve wanted to catch up with you for the last couple of days, but I haven’t had the chance. My name is Matt and I work for the American Government. I wanted to chat about the great technologies your country has given. Skype has been welcomed domestically in most countries and is a great story for the Baltic Tiger”
Deploy ’Matt was using his business economic knowledge to gauge if the ambassador in fact knew much of his homeland.
“Why thank you. Heinla, Kasesalu and Jaan have done many great things with this Skype for our country. The oil will not go forever and they house 44% of the company’s jobs in Tallinn, so is success for us”, answered the Ambassador as he walked over to wash his hands.
“My friends, all this business chat in the men’s room is no place.” The Kazakhstan Ambassador addressed both men as he walked out the cubical behind them in heavily accented English.
“Agreed, good day gentlemen,” added the Estonian Ambassador as he left the wash room.
“Matt is it? I have seen you following members of the Union of Soviet Socialist Republics. Is the US of A still hiding under tables in fear of nuclear war?” joked the Kazakhstan Ambassador.
“That’s a very odd statement Mr Ambassador,” Deploy ’Matt said, now washing his hands.
“What is my friend?”
‘How you didn’t use the word ‘Former’ ”.
Both gentlemen stared silently at each other for a split second that felt like minutes. Without warning the Kazakhstan Ambassador threw a karate chop knocking Deploy ’Matt to the floor.
“You think you are so clever Joe. What makes you believe it is former.” Zartan had revealed himself dropping the accent he had been using previously. Reaching into his inside suit pocket he pulled out a knife.
Deploy ‘Matt lay on the cold washroom floor, backing himself into a corner. He was not trained for combat and was well and truly out of his depth facing Zartan head to head. Zartan began to encroach upon Deploy ‘Matt with a sinister look on his face when suddenly
the door flew open and a startled Zartan received a karate move himself. A kick from one Lady Jaye. The force of the kick knocked Zartan off his feet. On the way down to the floor he cracked his head on the urinal knocking out the Cobra operative.
“You ok Joe?”
“I am now Lady Jaye thank you. How’d you know I was in danger?”
“When the Estonian Ambassador left and you didn’t come out, I had a gut feeling something was wrong. It’s a good thing I did. You did real good here Soldier, let’s call it in and get this Cobra dirt bag locked away’.
Public service announcement
“Hi kids I’m Deploy ‘Matt. And I want to talk to you today about rules. Knowing rules, regulation and legislation like in today’s story is important. If I hadn’t known my background in taxation law such as the legislation changes to carbon tax, Zartan may not have been discovered and his evil plans would have prevailed.
This translates to everyday life. It’s important you know your green cross code. Look left, look right and look left again before crossing the road. If an adult is with you, hold their hand and only cross when the green man says go.
Remember, knowing is only half the battle …. Yooooooooo Joe !!!!”
This document is not to viewed by anyone below level 8 security clearance. The contents of this file are not to be discussed with anyone below level 8 security clearance. Failure to adhere to protocol will result in criminal prosecution to the fullest extent of the law.
The following document contains the mission records Virginia Blake. Code name: Ghost.
August 29, 2013.
It was a hot month. A real sweat wringer. But that did not deter my daily work out. Adversity builds strength, as we say. I was in the gym area when the General Argo came in. I immediately stopped and saluted.
"At ease soldier." He grunted in a good nature fashion. "Feeling up to a mission? Or would that interrupt your workout?" He didn't laugh or smile, but that was as close to a joke as the man ever got.
"Always ready for a mission sir." I replied quickly. Wiping myself down with a dry towel. He handed me the mission dossier and walked away without another word.
Two hours later I was air dropped on Florem Auallonia Island. A small, mostly forgotten island in the pacific. I was instructed to perform recon, and if necessary, aggressive interrogation. Our intelligence had learned of a possible terrorist cell training camp on the island.
I'm called Ghost for a reason. I can slip through the jungle without breaking a branch. I can walk through a room without drawing attention or being memorable. I blend in. I hide in the obvious. I come and go and you will never know I was there. Or even that I exist. I'm not saying I'm the best. I mean, I've never sneaked up on Snake Eyes or whatever. But know one has ever gotten the jump on me either. But someone came close that day.
I was checking out the supposed terrorist compound through field glasses. The place far was was overgrown with jungle foliage and falling apart. But the wear and damage were too precise. It was a good cover job. And most people would be fooled by the clever disguise. But trickery is part of my job, so I recognized the work of a pro. I needed to see more before I radioed it in though. That's when I sensed it. Another presence. I pivoted around quickly. Not quickly enough apparently as I felt the sharp edge of a blade on either side of my neck.
"Hello 'Joe'. Tell me, can a ghost bleed?" The assassin whispered with a tight lipped smile. "The Reaper is curious to find out."
"Make'em clatter honey, before I mess up your outfit." I replied calmly. It was then she noticed the my gun pointed at her chest. I took some absurd amusement from her look of shocked outrage. I had the feeling no one had gotten the best of her recently. Or ever. This was a bizarre Mexican standoff I found myself in. She was fast, but so was I. Neither of us were sure who was faster though. I don't know how long it would have lasted, or how it would have ended naturally, cause at that moment something roared loudly, causing the trees to shake as if they were startled.
Reaper's eyes flicked in the direction the roar had came from, then back at me. "The sins you Joe's are committing here are worse then anything Cobra has ever done." Quick as a flash she folded her hand sickles up and jammed them into side holsters. Before I could react she disappeared into the jungle. I considered giving chase. But she was gone. And I still had a mission to do.
I made my way to the compound with some trepidation. Always expecting the thing that made the jungle shake to appear. Hungry or angry. Or both. But I made it to the compound alive and uneaten. The steel door wasn't even locked. I guess they weren't expecting visitors. 'Or maybe they are.' I had thought darkly.
The inside was surprisingly modern and new. I had known this place was in use, but some of the machines could have been unwrapped that morning. On either side of the low structure were containment cells with heavy looking glass doors. Three on each side. Each one roughly six by six by six feet large. The lights must have been motion activated because they flashed on as I stepped further into the building.
I wish they had stayed off.
I've been instructed to refer to the creatures as animals. But they were monsters. Plain and simple. I was drawn to the first cell by movement inside. I thought the terrorists were keeping prisoners. In the cell were three...things. They had bodies like woman, but they had huge red insect eyes, and giant black stingers where their butts should have been. One of them saw me and came to the glass. In her eyes I saw desperation, and hate. She wanted to get out and sting me till I stopped twitching. A card taped to the door read [Wasp Women.]
I was horrified, but hypnotized too. The horrible implications before me. A scuttling scraping sound behind me made me spin and almost shoot. In the cell across from the wasp women were cockroaches. A dozen or better cockroaches the size of skateboards. Swarming over each other and up the walls of their cell. This was a form of terrorism I had never heard of. Let alone encountered.
In the cell beside the cockroaches was a tarantula the size of a love seat. A spider as big as a mid sized piece of furniture. I could have laughed then. This couldn't be real. A spider that size would collapse under its own weight. But it was real alright. I could feel the cold stare of its black eyes. A machine somewhere kicked on then with a quiet hum, making me jump again. I don't rattle easy, but I was seeing things only insane people saw.
I slowly walked past these horrors, staying in the middle of the room. To the left the cell next to the wasp women seemed empty. That made me uneasy. It was littered with large bones that had been picked clean. The cell itself had bloodstains high on the walls. The card taped to the door read [Killer Rabbit.]
I couldn't make sense of that, so I moved on towards the metal stairs when I heard a weak chuckle. In the last cell on the right I heard a groan. The cell door was open, so I approached with extreme caution. Inside a man was webbed to the back wall of the cell. He was malnourished and weak. He also smelled of sickness and rot. He was obviously dying.
"What's going on here?" I demanded as I lowered my gun reluctantly. He was a danger in his condition.
"The work." He coughed hard, and some blood tricked out the corner of his mouth. "We are, were, are." He chuckled again. "Breeding the agents of the purge. Even now." He whispered as as his stomach suddenly pulsed outward. "We are getting ready for the purge." He coughed again.
"What is the purge?" I asked. A chill on my skin.
"Our Mothman escaped." He replied instead of answering my question. "Laid her eggs inside me. But I'm still doing the work of the purge. She has probably gotten to all the staff by now. And now." He added with a sly grin. "You can further the work of the purge." With that he tore at the webbing over his chest an something big and insectile started to wiggle its way out. I backed away quickly and slammed the cell shut behind me as several small bodies banged off the door with an angry buzz.
"You won't escape your fate in the end 'Joe." A different voice called out from above me. It was the Reaper. She didn't have her weapons out. That seemed worse somehow. She had something else going on.
"We didn't do this. This is purely the work of your boss Cobra." I replied. I had seen enough of her and this place. It was time to radio out.
"I am not Cobra. I am freelance." She sneered. "Cobra hired me to investigate your governments operation here. But the things I have seen on this island should not be."
That was something we could agree on. But if this wasn't Cobra, then who was it? I blinked and she was gone, so I moved quickly but carefully up the stairs. I needed answers and I wasn't gonna let them get away. On the second floor was a elevator, a computer console, and several doors I didn't have time to check. The elevator was in motion, so she might have gone down. Or it might have been a distraction. It was then I noticed the blinking lights on the console. Blinking down. I didn't know what would happen when it hit zero, but was pretty confident I didn't want to find out. With less then a minute on the countdown I ran back down the stairs, past the creatures and out into the jungle. I ran until I heard another roar. A different one this time. The ground shook hard and the concussion blew me off my feet.
The compound had a self destruct sequence, and Reaper had somehow activated it. I also knew she had survived somehow. As I waited to be recovered I wondered who was behind this place. And what the purge was.