Captain Kick-Butt's Awesome Club #1

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GR2Blackout

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#1  Edited By GR2Blackout

Meet Captain Kick-Butt.

You might know Friday and Santa Hamster, but I bet you've never heard about this dude.

His super-power is being awesome.

His enemies include the Cheapskate, the Annoyer, and even the British Pickle.

The Awesome Club includes other not-as-awesome-but-still-pretty-epic heroic heroes like The Exploding Nacho, The Flaming Burrito, Powerful Power Captain, and Ninja Furball.

They live in the Awesomeness Warehouse just across the street from the local Pie Store.

They also live near the local Skate-Board Riding Recreational Area.

So, in other words, they live close to a bakery and a skate park.

But, not all is good in Townplace City.

The Fooptacular Five will not let it be good! Or all good.... um, what was I saying? Anyways....

"I hear the Fooptacular Five (dun-dun-DUUUUN) have escaped Jailprison Penitentiary!" announced Captain Butt-Kick.

"Frolicking farts, Captain Butt-Kick!" said Ninja Furball.

"So, the only logical way to restore peace is to throw cars and buildings and maybe airplanes at them until they blow up!" said Captain Kick-Butt.

"Yeah, it's the only way we can get out of this without causing any property damage!" said Exploding Nacho.

"Or we can kill them with fire." suggested Powerful Power Captain.

"YES! KILL IT! KILL IT WITH FIRE!" chanted Flaming Burrito.

"No, the only we're allowed to kill with fire is One Direction and Justin Bieber!" said Captain Kick-Butt. "Let's not get too violent, guys."

"Yeah!" said Ninja Furball. "So let's go break buildings, car, and airplanes and throw them at evil villains until they burst into flames!"

"YEAH!" yelled the rest of the group.

And so they left on their truly epic quest to throw stuff at the Fooptacular Five.

Finally, they made it to the place being destroyed by the Fooptacular Five after about five minutes of walking slowly and gently on the sidewalk like gentlemen.

"HEH HEH HEH!" laughed the five's leader, British Pickle. "This bloody city is ours!"

"Somebody should really clean up all the blood...." said the Magic Mustache.

"No, you moron!" said Guy Man. "It's a foreign expression!"

"He's not that foreign..." said the Despicable Onion.

"Yeah he is!" said the Jackalope Dragon Demon Centaur Thing.

"Let's be stealthy...." said Captain Kick-Butt, whispering as he and his team watched the five idiots arguing.

But it was too late... Exploding Nacho and Flaming Burrito already ran out into the battle field, yelling the same thing:

"LEEEEROY JEEEENKINS!!!"

"NO!" screamed Ninja Furball. "Leroy's gonna get themselves killed!"

"Hey, did I just hear a WOW reference?" asked the Despicable Onion.

Suddenly, Exploding Nacho and Flaming Burrito ran up and tackled the Despicable Onion.

Then the rest of the Awesome Club ran up and next thing you know it was an all out brawl.

There was a bunch of crazy dialogue, like:

"DIE!"

"NEVER!"

Or how about:

"I WILL WIN!"

"NOPE!"

And even:

"SURRENDER!"

"I KNOW YOU ARE BUT WHAT AM I!"

Okay, I'll admit it, that last one doesn't make sense.

After a second or two, the battle died down and they were basically pulling each other's hair and cat fighting.

"I'm exhausted..." said the Magic Mustache, collapsing after pinching Ninja Furball one last time.

"Then lets go get Taco Bell, play some Mortal Kombat, and come back here so we can finish this!" suggested Captain Kick-Butt.

"YEAH!" said all the others.

"LEROY JENKINS!" yelled Magic Mustache, getting off the ground.

THA END!

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GR2Blackout

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#2  Edited By GR2Blackout
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Joygirl

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#3  Edited By Joygirl

I like it but it's a total sausagefest.

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batkevin74

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#4  Edited By batkevin74

@GR2Blackout: This makes my head hurt. Am I that old that I have NO IDEA what you're writing about? The names are kinda cool:

The Despicable Onion

For example but overall, I didn't like it because I don't understand it!

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GR2Blackout

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#5  Edited By GR2Blackout

@batkevin74 said:

@GR2Blackout: This makes my head hurt. Am I that old that I have NO IDEA what you're writing about? The names are kinda cool:

The Despicable Onion

For example but overall, I didn't like it because I don't understand it!

It's a very complicated series. The next issue involves politics, reincarnation, and time travel!

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#6  Edited By cbishop

I didn't get the Leroy Jenkins reference, and I'm going to be lazy and not open a tab to Google it. Overall, this was a little pointless, but would probably play very well as a late night toon on Cartoon Network, possibly voiced by the Teen Titans Go crew. My favorite name was Magic Mustache.

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cbishop

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P.S. There's a couple places near the beginning where you called him Captain Butt-Kick, instead of Captain Kick-Butt. Also, this has been added to my FF Long Box. :)