CapFanboy & BumpyBoo's Wedding

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Samimista

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#1  Edited By Samimista
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Ladies and gentlemen, I, Samimista, under the direction of our most high and totally not intimidating Captain, have gathered you all here today to witness BumpyBoo and CapFanboy's--SHUT UP @The_Deathstroker, SIT DOWN--*ahem* BumpyBoo and our glorious Captain's wedding. A wedding that not even Cap thought would ever happen, but it seems his dreams came true with a lot of booze and harassment persuasion...of the entirely adult variety.

Before we begin, I would like to take a brief moment to welcome those watching at home, who were not privileged enough to be at the ceremony. That's you Cap worshippers without accounts. I know you exist. Here in the hall, serving as the Captain's best man is one @avenging_x_bolt, who seems too drunk to talk to. We're just going to skip past him-- oh my god, what is he doing? Is that...@wildvine? Why are they-- eww. Eww. We'll just carry on...

Giving BumpyBoo away is her beautiful friend Wildvine whom Pamela Isley was based on according to DC Comics, who unfortunately aren't in attendance today, something to do with consoling a sobbing Power Girl and equally upset Joseph Gordon Levitt looking Nightwing. Wildvine wishes BumpyBoo and CapFanboy the best of luck, but she knows how CapFanboy gets around with sheep and hobos...which is to say not at all, because it's Bump dammit. It's all Bump.

BumpyBoo: Cap, when we first met, I was a nobody. Just a random drunk on the internet with a hobo fixation and a weird obsession with farm animals. But you took a chance on me. You came into my life, a handsome stranger with the most beautiful hair I have ever seen, and you taught me how to love.

I know it hasn't always been easy. A lot of goats have died, wars have been fought, and a lot of questionable photos have been taken. We've even broken some hearts along the way. But you are the most awesomely godlike man I know, and it is an honour that you would want to marry me. You knocking me up and stealing me from my wife is the best thing that ever happened to me, and I want to spend the rest of my life taking care of you and helping to smite your enemies with the red hot fury that only a loving wife can muster.

CapFanboy: Suck it, Australia!

Meanwhile....in the coat room, a rebuffed X-Bolt attempts to find one of the many flasks that Cap has hidden throughout the hall. Unfortunately, what X-Bolt doesn't know, and hopefully will never know, is that just beyond his sight is the object of his desire with a very unscrupulous character, and it is with these words that we invite @pyrogram into the ceremony. It is truly heartbreaking, but at least he won't-- NO! DON'T TURN AROUND!--

Back in the main hall...

Samimista: CapFanboy, in brightest day, in blackest night, will you let BumpyBoo's booty escape your sight? Or do you promise to wear a mankini for her and never make fun of a hobo again?

CapFanboy: I do consent to be at her heel for eternity.

Samimista: BumpyBoo, the love of my life, the one who got away, do you wish to runaway before it's too late? Or do you promise to lock CapFanboy in your dungeon and feed him soggy waffles?

BumpyBoo:

I do, and will spare him the banhammer forever.

Samimista: Then I do pronounce you woman and boyto--

A loud, girlish...yet somehow husky scream pierces the air. Our guests turn around swiftly, only to be met with the sight of a distraught x-bolt....who seems to be carrying a tub of yoghurt, and is closely followed by the second dirtiest duo in the room (after Hal Jordan and whatever child he's with this time).

CapFanboy: Roger?!

BumpyBoo: Wildvine: Pyrogram?! I thought you were...

Wildvine?!

As it dawns on all the guests just who they are missing from this lavish ceremony, the double doors swing open, revealing a very angry and dangerous figure. Looking around the room, her eyes met with the newly wed couple, and all three, Bump, Cap and @raiiyn uttered one word perfectly in sync.

No Caption Provided

Also, you were all there too...I guess. I mean, you paid for the chicken didn't you?

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BumpyBoo

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#2 BumpyBoo  Moderator

This is the single greatest thing ever. I regret nothing.

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The_Deathstroker

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#3  Edited By The_Deathstroker
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@bumpyboo said:

This is the single greatest thing ever. I regret nothing.

And no booze we're involved! =O What a surprise indeed.

Best keep an eye on your hubby. 0.o

Congrats to the newlyweds! :D

http://www.eventective.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2009/01/champagne-toast1.jpg

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Amazing!

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CapFanboy

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@pyrogram said:

Amazing!

You enjoying the yoghurt callback...just for you Rog. Just for you.

For the record...I totally didn't ghost write this or anything...

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" oh my god, what is he doing? Is that...@wildvine? Why are they-- eww. Eww. We'll just carry on..."

Get you hands off my potential next wife!

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CapFanboy

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@pyrogram:

" oh my god, what is he doing? Is that...@wildvine? Why are they-- eww. Eww. We'll just carry on..."

Get you hands off my potential next wife!

Is this where you two rap-battle now?

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The_Deathstroker

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#9  Edited By The_Deathstroker
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Seriously tho, congrats.

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Raiiyn

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why was i mentioned here at all?

**leaves in a puff of purple smoke**

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HumanRocket

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Don't mind me I'm just here to hit on the bridesmaids.

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wildvine

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#12 wildvine  Moderator

Me and X-Bolt? I am never drinking again. And by that I mean no liquids at all. That gives me about three days to write up my will.

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#13  Edited By CapFanboy

@raiiyn said:

why was i mentioned here at all?

**leaves in a puff of purple smoke**

I don't want you to be mad at me. Also, @wildvine needs someone to hit on.

Don't mind me I'm just here to hit on the bridesmaids.

Dammit! I knew we forgot something!

No Caption Provided

Seriously tho, congrats.

There are always professionals....

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CapFanboy

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@wildvine said:

Me and X-Bolt? I am never drinking again. And by that I mean no liquids at all. That gives me about three days to write up my will.

Hey! He's a nice guy.....a bit weird around Hal Jordan but nice nonetheless.

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Raiiyn

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#15  Edited By Raiiyn

@capfanboy: you don't even exist to me... Im just talking to myself

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@raiiyn said:

@capfanboy: you don't even exist to me... Im just talking to myself

Way to help the sisterhood Raiiyn. Pff. It's like you don't even care about feminism

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@wildvine said:

Me and X-Bolt? I am never drinking again. And by that I mean no liquids at all. That gives me about three days to write up my will.

Good job, potential waifu. I'm proud of you. Shows you're loyal.

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#18  Edited By wildvine  Moderator

@wildvine said:

Me and X-Bolt? I am never drinking again. And by that I mean no liquids at all. That gives me about three days to write up my will.

Hey! He's a nice guy.....a bit weird around Hal Jordan but nice nonetheless.

I was going to steal your wife to be at the last moment all dramatically. Too bad I was preoccupied with X-Bolt. Curses and stuff.

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Raiiyn

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#19  Edited By Raiiyn

@capfanboy: feminism is the stupidest thing on the planet. Yea, I said it.

F@#$ feminists and all they stand for.

Im a goddamn EQUALIST.

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@wildvine said:

@capfanboy said:

@wildvine said:

Me and X-Bolt? I am never drinking again. And by that I mean no liquids at all. That gives me about three days to write up my will.

Hey! He's a nice guy.....a bit weird around Hal Jordan but nice nonetheless.

I was going to steal your wife to be at the last moment all dramatically. Too bad I was preoccupied with X-Bolt. Curses and stuff.

Don't forgot @pyrogram. It's a real love triangle you got there.

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Well congrats to the both of you.

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@wildvine said:

@capfanboy said:

@wildvine said:

Me and X-Bolt? I am never drinking again. And by that I mean no liquids at all. That gives me about three days to write up my will.

Hey! He's a nice guy.....a bit weird around Hal Jordan but nice nonetheless.

I was going to steal your wife to be at the last moment all dramatically. Too bad I was preoccupied with X-Bolt. Curses and stuff.

Don't forgot @pyrogram. It's a real love triangle you got there.

She's just my toy to use every so often a dump, psh, no love there xP

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#23 wildvine  Moderator

@wildvine said:

@capfanboy said:

@wildvine said:

Me and X-Bolt? I am never drinking again. And by that I mean no liquids at all. That gives me about three days to write up my will.

Hey! He's a nice guy.....a bit weird around Hal Jordan but nice nonetheless.

I was going to steal your wife to be at the last moment all dramatically. Too bad I was preoccupied with X-Bolt. Curses and stuff.

Don't forgot @pyrogram. It's a real love triangle you got there.

Hahahaha. Well, at least no one ships me and Jack anymore.

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The_Deathstroker

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@raiiyn said:

@capfanboy: feminism is the stupidest thing on the planet. Yea, I said it.

F@#$ feminists and all they stand for.

Im a goddamn EQUALIST.

*stands and claps*

*realizes only one clapping*

*stops clapping and sits back down*

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CapFanboy

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@raiiyn said:

@capfanboy: feminism is the stupidest thing on the planet. Yea, I said it.

F@#$ feminists and all they stand for.

Im a goddamn EQUALIST.

YOU BETRAYER, YOU!

Well congrats to the both of you.

Thank you silver medallist. You're a true believer!

@pyrogram said:

She's just my toy to use every so often a dump, psh, no love there xP

OUCH.

@wildvine said:

Hahahaha. Well, at least no one ships me and Jack anymore.

Jack? Am I forgetting people?

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#28  Edited By CapFanboy

@pyrogram said:

@capfanboy: YEAH!? Who is jack? >_>

Yeah, @wildvine. The only people who should be competing for your affections should be rog, stroker and x-bolt!

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@capfanboy: Says the home wrecker.

Stuff it, kid.

#peace

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CapFanboy

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@capfanboy: Silver medallist ?

There's a silver medal looking thing on your picture, I don't yet have a decent nickname for you that isn't "sword". But that's just too easy. So the plan is to call you silver medallist, and then SM, and then eventually S&M.

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#31 wildvine  Moderator

@pyrogram said:

She's just my toy to use every so oftena dump, psh, no love there xP

Um. Eww?

@pyrogram said:

YEAH!? Who is jack? >_>

@wildvine said:

Hahahaha. Well, at least no one ships me and Jack anymore.

Jack? Am I forgetting people?

Neither of you remember @jack16ichigo ?

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@shadowswordmaster said:

@capfanboy: Silver medallist ?

There's a silver medal looking thing on your picture, I don't yet have a decent nickname for you that isn't "sword". But that's just too easy. So the plan is to call you silver medallist, and then SM, and then eventually S&M.

Yeah let's go with Silver Medallist but I could change my change my name since I'm a paying member now.

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CapFanboy

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@raiiyn said:

@capfanboy: Says the home wrecker.

Stuff it, kid.

#peace

There is no peace! ONLY PAIN!

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@wildvine: I really wanna make a joke about that avatar you were using not too long ago being symbolic to my words :P

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#35 wildvine  Moderator
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@capfanboy said:

@shadowswordmaster said:

@capfanboy: Silver medallist ?

There's a silver medal looking thing on your picture, I don't yet have a decent nickname for you that isn't "sword". But that's just too easy. So the plan is to call you silver medallist, and then SM, and then eventually S&M.

Yeah let's go with Silver Medallist but I could change my change my name since I'm a paying member now.

Something'll pop up, popeye.

@wildvine said:

Neither of you remember @jack16ichigo ?

I.....I do. How? How many people have I forgotten about?

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Congratulations you two! .. Now where's the open bar?

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@bruxae said:

Congratulations you two! .. Now where's the open bar?

Well, there's a decent sized bar in my car but that's not provided by the venue. The open bar here is more vodka shots and the occassional gin.

@capfanboy: Good to know captain.

Information is a man's best friend...after everything else that could also be his best friend. Like caterpillar's.

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Yay !

Now the cake...it's chocolate right ?

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#43 wildvine  Moderator

@bruxae: Its in the corner. You'll want to watch Cap. He gets handsie when he drinks.

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@capfanboy: between you and me, I wasn't really drunk and she dressed like Hal for me. She also had a tattoo that said "I love BBC". I mean I like "The Office" as much as the next guy but that seemed like a bit much .

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@wildvine said:

@bruxae: Its in the corner. You'll want to watch Cap. He gets handsie when he drinks.

So I'm handsie all the time?

@capfanboy: So true good sir.

My word is law

@wildvine said:

@capfanboy said:

@pyrogram said:

@capfanboy: YEAH!? Who is jack? >_>

Yeah, @wildvine. The only people who should be competing for your affections should be rog, stroker and x-bolt!

*Seppku*

Hey, those are people you're killing yourself in front o-- Yeah. I get why.

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#49 wildvine  Moderator

@avenging_x_bolt:

Lol. No. This was my outfit. I bought it today.

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So you must be drunk out your skull. Also BBC is awesome so shutty uppy

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#50  Edited By BumpyBoo  Moderator

@wildvine: Don't you kill yourself on my wedding day! DON'T YOU DARE! O_O

@bruxae said:

Congratulations you two! .. Now where's the open bar?

Damn, I suddenly wish I was less pregnant...you drink for both of us tonight, missy!