Arggg Be yee a land lover or be yee Thor

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arthurkerr

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Thor the Pirate of Space

The hills of Asgard held many of adventures of children. Loki and Thor and Sif. They would lay in the grass and stare up at the stars.

"Oh such wondrous adventures we will have" Said Loki as he looked up at the heavens above them.

The branches on the top of the tree were amazing he thought to himself.

Thor held Sifs hand and looked upward himself. "To plunder and bounty and wench's" Thor yelled in a pirate voice"

Sif laughed at the term Wench's She could use some adventure she craved it just as much as the rest of them.

Ingrid bowed as she lay down beside Loki.

"Where we off to today" she said.

Loki took her hand and it became girl boy girl boy all looking up at the stars dreaming of adventure.

Odin smiled a rare smile. His one eye looking at the group invisible to all but his crows flying over head.

It be a rare gift to show the souls on the ground what life would be like if they were indeed Pirates on the cosmic sea.

Odin lifted his eye patch and there beneath in the hollow out portion of his eye where no eye could be seen.

A universe of stars , a mass of energy so condense it made you come to respect the term father of the gods.

Thor opened his eyes to the shouts of somebody calling him.

"Wake Up , Wake up" Loki repeated the words calling him over and over again.

The world was gone , the land beneath them nothing but hard metal , the ships engines hummed and sang and some where up on the bridge of this huge ship.

A man looked out to the stars and he spied a ship huge and dreadful before them.

"Somebody wake the crew Odin screamed we have bounty to be finding" Odin poured himself into the role like no other could.

Some place far away he was sure his lady would not approve but today he would not worry over it.

Thor and Loki broke into the room and reported followed by Ingrid and Sif.

Heimdallr , Balder , and the rest of the crew ran into the room to report.

Looking out at the huge war world before them you could hear knees shaking.

Odin smiled and sounded the alarm.

"we be doing what Pirates do best lads and do not forget it"

Loki felt a little weak , he was still in his teen years and wanted to make it to his older years.

In the distance parademons were loosed from the vessel before them , millions of them made way to the ship.

Darksied loosed his omega beams striking Odin. He vanished before the crew could react.

"FATHER!" they screamed.

Thor lost control the comic winds answered his commands , the static from stars waited on his call and he let loose his fears of loosing control.

A teen god bent the will of the cosmos to his wants, the force to destroy the galaxy sped at the war world.

Onboard Odin and Darksied talked over Ale.

"so did not see you at the meeting Thursday" Darkseid said as he tasted his ale.

Odin looked at him and shook his head.

"Hard to get out with kids. You know how it is" Odin took any reason he could to have time to drink with the other gods.

"What about the wife" Darkseid asked.

"same as always we went fishing and nothing was biting"

Odin looked at the huge ball of comic energy coming at them and laughed.

Thor sure knows how to pull together a storm on short notice.

"see you next week Darkseid"

The kids woke up in the field still holding hands.

Thor was speechless and so was the others.

Odin revealed himself and lay down in the center and rested his head on one of his wolves.

"Remember say nothing to your mother..."

"She just would never understand"

On Odins right side was a pint of Ale.

Odin made a mental note to attend the next meeting.

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cbishop

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#2  Edited By cbishop
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arthurkerr

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ImpurestCheese

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@arthurkerr: A few punctuation errors but nothing too terrible, not sure if I like Thor as a pirate or not.

Makes mental note to read next part

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arthurkerr

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I love the character of Thor and his support group is awesome. You cannot go wrong he is the most usable of templates that is for sure.

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ImpurestCheese

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@arthurkerr: Meh I'm more of a Thunderbolts kind of girl

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arthurkerr

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@arthurkerr: Meh I'm more of a Thunderbolts kind of girl

lol I have time during the day to think up or work one things in my mind. I like to see the flow of a story and it helps get through the chaotic parts of the day lol. So most times I just write down things for fun. Just to see what it looks like on the screen.

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batkevin74

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@arthurkerr: Where to start....arthur do you just post or do you edit before hand? Because honestly I read the first five lines and stopped. Errors, punctuation mistakes, grammar errors and its just five lines, not a paragraph.

If you spent SOME time editing your stuff you'd get more people reading and commenting. I do admire that you just write like a machine but the only way you're going to get better is by making it into something readable. The idea is fine: Thor is a pirate can work, but you need to put in a lot more work.

"So most times I just write down things for fun. Just to see what it looks like on the screen." Maybe after doing that, edit it

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ImpurestCheese

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@arthurkerr: Batkevin has a point. Your ideas are great, your implementation isn't. Even if you just get a beta reader to help you, or take five minutes to read through when you've finished, your work will probably get more views ect

In addition don't be afraid to read other peoples work. When I first started writing I'd have a novel open, so I could get formatting looking somewhat professional. People like BK, Tommy le Hitman, dngn and when he writes cbishop all have formatting down. Have one of there pieces open and see how they write, it would help you a lot.

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arthurkerr

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#10  Edited By arthurkerr

@arthurkerr: Batkevin has a point. Your ideas are great, your implementation isn't. Even if you just get a beta reader to help you, or take five minutes to read through when you've finished, your work will probably get more views ect

In addition don't be afraid to read other peoples work. When I first started writing I'd have a novel open, so I could get formatting looking somewhat professional. People like BK, Tommy le Hitman, dngn and when he writes cbishop all have formatting down. Have one of there pieces open and see how they write, it would help you a lot.

Thanks gang I took to needing glasses of late and this format on comic vine changes everything even when I use another program and paste it to comic vine. Every time I try to change it , I post and poof it double spaces everything and messes it all up.

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batkevin74

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@arthurkerr: Seriously, just write it on a word document. It checks spelling and grammar for you. Then just copy and paste it over. It's how I do mine. Don't worry about double spacing, that may be half the problem right there.

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ImpurestCheese

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arthurkerr

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Think I have to purchase word perfect. Windows 8 is horrible.