Are the following (original) characters overpowered? If so, handled well or not?

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#1 Posted by CocaColaMan (1772 posts) - - Show Bio

I didn’t know where to put this. I hope it’s in the right spot.

One of my favorite hobbies is writing. I love to do it, and I plan on becoming an author as I become more experienced and better at my craft. But I have a few characters from my stories, as almost all of them are action based, and I wanted to see what Comic Vine had to say on whether they are OP or not, and if they are if I am handling them well. I’m talking about OP compared to the rest of their verse.

The first character is actually my favorite creation of all. The guys name is Nicholas Groper, the Infinite Zilch. Without going too far into his backstory, the main idea behind his power was made from a (flawed) scientific theory I created a year or two ago. Pretty much, Nicholas can use something I can Speed of 0 Magic. This allows Nicholas to remove himself from the laws of time and space, and thus, speed. This means he has no speed, which is where the “Zilch” in his name comes from. But, as he is completely removed from the laws of time and distance when he uses this power, he can move an infinite distance in zero time, as he isn’t limited by the laws of them. This is where the “Infinite” comes from. So, shortened, he can outspeed Human Race Wally West. When not using this power, he is comparable in stats to the main protagonist at the time of the story where he is introduced in. His defeat comes about because his son, the Grim Reaper, kills him.

The second character is Colosso, the Heavenly Satan, who is probably too overpowered. He is a servant to the king and has a power (known as Fancies on his planet) called the Heavenly Hell, the strongest power on his planet. This allows him to control light using the right side of his body and fire with the left. He has the hax ability to send you to a dimension where you age quintillions of years every attosecond. He can send himself to a dimension where he can live in there for quintillions of years and only an attosecond would pass in real time. He can also create a Sphere, within which he becomes omniscient and omnipresent to all things within. He has precog up to fifteen seconds, and he can create subatomic sized balls of light which can move his body appropriately. What this means is he can see where you will attack and set up his moves beforehand. His strongest attack is called the Sin Cleanser, which just erases you if you aren’t perfect. He has the stats to face the main cast of characters 1v5 (with one exception.) His defeat comes about by the strongest member getting a power boost from immense anger (not a random power up, i foreshadow it) and even then the strongest member dies. Then two other characters have to sacrifice themselves to power boost the other two characters (also foreshadowed.)

Moving on to less powerful characters, I have one I just created the other day, Danielle Wayne. She lives in a world where powers are bestowed by money, good deeds, and connections. Your power depends on your money, spirit, class (that’s a whole other explanation) and creativity. Danielle was forced into getting two powers as a toddler by her corrupt father. Danielle's powers were temperature manipulation and having the greatest stats of her verse. She was trained from birth in martial arts, and at age thirteen she was meant to be released into the real world to rule by her father’s commands, but a traitor in her father’s work erased her memory and took her away. The protagonist saved her, believing her to be kidnapped, and she goes under his wing to learn about herself. She, as a teen with amnesia, is mainly struggling with her trust in the protagonist, her soulmate, and her natural loyalty to her father. Also, similar to Nen in Hunter x Hunter, powers can be limited to be made more powerful.

The next character is actually a protagonist. His name is Malcolm Guzman, and he is an oddball for his kind. He lives in a future where there are three extra countries. In those three countries, superpowered people thrive, but they are treated sort of like slaves were back in the Civil War era. Malcolm has to go to Hero Camp to learn how to use his powers so that, when he eventually is called to fight in the war, he will be ready.

Malcolm’s powers are interesting. He has 6 different powers. When he uses these powers, he gains a certain feeling. One power is water manipulation, which involves manipulating water into shapes even prior to his learning, and afterwards he can manipulate water vapor and create 100-ft long whips, and when he uses this power he becomes calm. Another is lightning manipulation, which is strong enough to collapse buildings and erase 5 tons of rock in a second, and he becomes reckless. His third power is making portals which he can jump through. He can stretch this power for miles, but he becomes gullible and dependent upon using this power. His fourth is Telekinesis, which can be applied up to 300x Malcolm’s own strength, and he becomes uplifting and motivational when he does this. His fifth power makes him become immensely strong, fast, and durable, to the point people that could blitz him are statues to him in this form, but he becomes arrogant when he uses this power, and thus can’t use its full potential. His sixth and final power is his most dangerous and hardest to activate. As a kid, when Malcolm was kidnapped, he became fueled with adrenaline and absorbed the metal that was strapping him down (think Kevin 11.) He then went on a rampage that would have destroyed the world, but the god tiers of the verse took him down, rebuilt everything he destroyed, and erased and modified memories. They made it so that Malcolm was unaware of his sixth power and they sedated him where he didn’t get on adrenaline easily. He does end up breaking this power, though, and he uses it to nearly destroy the city when fighting his best friend to see who would get first place on their overall exam. Malcolm can’t use these powers at once unless he feels a very strong emotion prior to using any of his powers, and even then that excludes his sixth, and he can’t use them back to back as it causes mental stress, but he doesn’t get tired from just using his abilities. Malcolm’s regular stats are 2nd in the camp behind only his best friend (and his crush is faster than him in travel speed.)

My next character is a monster that is referred to as Gentem Tuam Praedo. Artificially created to be the strongest creature so that his homeland, Land 18, could win any war, it was taken over by a legendary monster that required five god tiers to take down. GTP wasn’t as physically powerful as the monster that took it over, but it still was so strong that it was pretty much a walking Nuclear Bomb among humans. GTP could jump from horizon to horizon and create dust clouds that reached to orbit. Any small graze it inflicted could turn anyone below the high tiers to blood splatters. It could travel across Lands (countries) in under a minute. It was defeated when the main character learned some spells of Merlin and stayed at long range with time hax.

The final thing I will mention, since this is way too freaking long already, is actually a trio of characters. They are known as the three strongest people, bar none. The two twins, monsters, were defeated by the religious icon Espadalma. Espadalma has immense energy manipulation, but other than that, he and the monsters are bricks. However, to give an idea, the monsters fighting Espadalma was said to have taken place on an asteroid that, after the fight, was shaped and cratered. They now call it the Moon. The main characters are not even hundred tonners and the strongest guy among them, who can apply him imagination to the real world, can’t comprehend their power. The monsters appear once for, like, thirty seconds to clear out an army at the command of their summoners, and Espadalma gives the main cast their greatest training.

I know this was longer than it had any right to be. But please bear with me, I’m trying to improve as much as I possibly can and this community is great at honesty. If there’s anything I can improve on, let me know.

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#2 Posted by vjbthe3 (260 posts) - - Show Bio

Imo. You should talk to the rpg community about these thoughts they've very nice over there and might give you feedback as well. Plus it would be good practice to write with them, as they're are many creative talents over there, and working with others can help you learn new flow, and style. Fan fiction might be cool too, but I've never visited those boards

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#3 Posted by CocaColaMan (1772 posts) - - Show Bio
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#4 Posted by Lan_Fan (18592 posts) - - Show Bio

There's no such thing as too overpowered as long as the story is well made.

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#5 Edited by jonjizz (1621 posts) - - Show Bio

they are all very powerful, but honestly i have nothing against op characters as long as they do something interesting