Have you read the Extremis story-arc? I'm not being facetious, just genuinely asking, because I don't think you understand how Extremis operates. It's not like a Green Lantern ring - the armor's constitution isn't based on the pilot's willpower/telepathic strength.
Extremis isn't the armor - it's a virus that made Tony's brain into a hard-drive. And by being able to telepathically control machines, Tony's brain was directly linked into the armor and he could pilot it more efficiently.
But the armor itself is a separate entity. It existed before Tony was even injected with the virus. It isn't like a Green Lantern construct because it wasn't created by Extremis. Extremis simply allows Tony to telepathically control the armor, but he can't telepathically change the physical qualities of the suit.
If anything, I should be asking you to provide a scan that proves the armor's durability correlates with Tony's mind. I've read the original story-arc by Ellis, the following run by the Knaufs', Fraction's run, as well as various crossovers (Civil War, Secret Invasion) and guest appearances (JMS' Thor and ASM) that feature the armor. Nothing in any of those books state that the armor's physical characteristics are dependent on Tony's mind.
I can provide you with a link via PM if you want to read the entire Extremis story-arc online. Reading the story itself might actually explain things a lot better than a single out-of-context scan.
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