You Vs. The Russian (The Punisher Movie)

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  • Prep time 2 Years, with lessons from Ip man and Mike Tyson
  • The Russian is blood lusted, but not taking you seriously
  • You have brass knuckles and a K-BAR Knife
  • Full knowledge of him, but Russian knows nothing about you
  • You can have morals or be blood lusted (Your choice)
  • Fight takes place in your house
  • You can set traps in your house ONLY to stun The Russian

Note: You are wearing Pajamas, a T-shirt, and you're barefoot. (The reason your barefoot is so your toes can have a better grip on the floor) Who wins?

No Caption Provided

YOU Vs.

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Frank was able to stab him in the chest, I think if I go for the neck or face I should win. He's tough but he can't tank something like that. Basically just go straight for kill shots. I think this is definitely possible with prep.

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Me.

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Zetsu-San

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#4  Edited By Zetsu-San

No one is winning under these conditions and 2 hours of training isn't enough to make even a lick of difference. The only shot anyone has is if "your house" also includes any weapons you may own like a gun or some form of improvised trap.

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I.

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Stalin-Is-Steel

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Die via Jackknife through floor. Knife is doing nothing fast, unless it's going in the eye somehow, which I doubt it. Brass knuckles get one shot in and then get removed.

Wing Chun can't do nothing in a fight like this, reminds me of those videos of Wing Chun masters going against MMA dudes and getting stomped all over.

The only way I could see me winning this is relying on Stealth and prep and going for the more.....delicate parts of the Russian with the weapons at hand. Sure, he can tank a knife in the chest, but what about the other areas?

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socajunkie

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#7 socajunkie  Moderator

2 hours of martial arts training might as well be two minutes because that’s useless.

Luckily I’m already highly trained with various accolades, unluckily The Russian is superhuman in pain tolerance and is too strong and durable so I get killed.

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@mylittlefascist: You’d he surprised what the human brain can process under 2 hours, especially fighting for your life. Also you have weapons, and your own home field advantage is at play here. You know your own house do you? And also your learning from a Martial Arts Master which uses Wing-Chun. A form of martial arts that uses defense as an offense and hitting pressure points. Also the retired heavyweight champion Mike Tyson.... who can really persuade you to hit certain spots on the body. And do whatever you have to do to fight in this situation.

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Zetsu-San

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#9  Edited By Zetsu-San

@thepunisherfan: He withstood a knife wound to the chest. Pressure point training isn't doing shit.

The Punisher is a trained fighter, with large amounts of combat experience, had the same home field advantage, and numerous traps/preparations set up for that fight; and he still had trouble.

No one is learning to fight in 2 hours. NO ONE. Doesn't matter who is teaching you, you are far better off using that prep to try and set traps in your house. Fighting for your life isn't going to give you superhuman recollection, in fact it's the opposite. People train martial arts for years and still fail to use that training effectively in actual life or death situations.

Again, you're either blowing his head off with a gun, setting up some sort of death trap, or you lose. No one is winning this fight while in their pajamas and with a dinky little knife and brass knuckle.

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@mylittlefascist: Though The Russian isn’t Superman so he isn’t taking a knife to the face.

Also The K-BAR isn’t some “Danky little knife” It’s a Marine knife that is 6-9 inches long which is very sharp. Has duel wielded lining which causes more damage. Also K-BARs are what Frank Castle talks about the most in the MCU... saying those are the best dang knifes in the entire arsenal of melee weapons. Coming from him... I’m taking my chances and will actually give everything I got. ;)

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FlashFyr

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#12  Edited By FlashFyr

Kali. Destroy the back of his hands with the knife everytime he reaches + go for the neck when he pulls back in pain, or slash his wrists wide open. Once he's bleeding, it's just playing keepaway till he bleeds out in two minutes or less. If he grabs by the shirt, literally just drive the tip of the blade into the back of the hand and grind it around the tendons. No one is going to keep a strong grip with that much pain unless they're on drugs.

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@flashfyr: A man with some creativity and determination! You sir are the GOAT! That is amazing, I’m still in shock on how some individuals are saying this is “impossible.” When in reality it’s just another obstacle anyone can pass so long as they fight for it. If they don’t have confidence in themselves then obviously The Russian wins.

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Zetsu-San

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@flashfyr: A man with some creativity and determination! You sir are the GOAT!

I think you mean delusional and or trolling. lmao

We're talking about a trained assassin, who can ignore knife wounds, and has enough physical strength to practically run through walls juggernaut style.

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FlashFyr

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#15  Edited By FlashFyr

@thepunisherfan said:

@mylittlefascist: Though The Russian isn’t Superman so he isn’t taking a knife to the face.

Also The K-BAR isn’t some “Danky little knife” It’s a Marine knife that is 6-9 inches long which is very sharp. Has duel wielded lining which causes more damage. Also K-BARs are what Frank Castle talks about the most in the MCU... saying those are the best dang knifes in the entire arsenal of melee weapons. Coming from him... I’m taking my chances and will actually give everything I got. ;)

Marines don't actually use the K-Bar all that much when they get it as standard issue irl; a lot get their own knives instead. Castle just likes it because it's so identifiable with Marines to civvies and they wanted it to be part of his char; just thought I should let you know. It's not actually "the best knife out there."

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FlashFyr

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#16  Edited By FlashFyr

@mylittlefascist: K, explain to me how someone doesn't bleed out with their arteries gushing.

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@flashfyr: Sorry about that. Thanks for letting me know. I can definitely see it be a melee weapon for Marines though... They should have them! So lethal especially the force behind it, slowly pushing into the person until they feel nothing but the cold blade slicing into their insides.

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Me and my fragile feet.

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Zetsu-San

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#19  Edited By Zetsu-San

@flashfyr said:

@mylittlefascist: K, explain to me how someone doesn't bleed out with their arteries gushing.

By being a fictional character strong enough to crush your face with his fingers.

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@flashfyr said:

@mylittlefascist: OP isn't making him the Terminator.

The OP doesn't have to make him the terminator. That's essentially what he already is. Even in the friggen OP picture, he has a stab wound, right at a vital artery area, that should be more than capable of making him lose arm function and bleed death if untreated; and he's basically ignoring it...

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#22  Edited By FlashFyr

@mylittlefascist: K, I guess I'm using my prep time to fill up a few pots of boiling oil and my CAR-15 + 12 gauge + flamethrower + fictional disintegration ray if his arteries don't bleed.

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@mylittlefascist: Not trolling, or being delusional... you’re being one- dimensional and not having confidence....

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Zetsu-San

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@mylittlefascist: Not trolling, or being delusional... you’re being one- dimensional and not having confidence....

Uh, no... It's called being delusional. You're not winning a hand to hand fight with a guy who ignores stab wound and can crush your face with his fingers. The fact that you think 2 hours of training is going to do anything but tire you out before the fight even begins; just highlights how delusional you are... Don't even get me started on the Wing Chun comment. Just... lol

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I get wrecked fast and hard.

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#26  Edited By juiceboks  Moderator

We all get stomped without a gun. Frank is smarter, more skilled, better equipped and physically superior to all of us and he was getting stomped (to a point where the Russian was one step ahead of him at every turn) and only won with luck.

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@thepunisherfan: You really should change the prep time and even being able to get teachings about Wing Chun. It does jack in a actual fight with someone who's not comatose.

Hell, at least replace it with Krav Maga. That can actually help, even if it extends my life by about 5 more seconds.

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#28  Edited By red_ruby_petal

@thepunisherfan: It takes years or over 10,000 hours of training to perfect something. 2 hours of training isn't going to do squat, that I learned already after having a year of karate and I am still nowhere near capable of taking on a man with a knife. On top of that the physical activities I was put in and my personal training after watching IP man fight scenes, world's strongest punch, Bas Ruten's tips, the FightTips youtube channel. etc. All that but I have never fought anyone once in my life, ( or at least to the point of bleeding ). The moment I sparred with my teacher who teaches Judo I immediately lost confidence of my dragon fury punch.

No Caption Provided

My point is that 2 hours isn't going to sht.

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@mylittlefascist: You should just leave... lol it’s pretty clear how upset your getting over a simple opinion. We live in a world where diversity is a thing. Sorry you don’t live on earth my fellow friend. Since you are new here... WELCOME!

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@stalin-is-steel: I will thank you for your respectable feedback.

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I can take this easily:

  1. Height 6"9
  2. Weight 250 Pounds
  3. 1 year of boxing
  4. 1 year of kickboxing
  5. 1 year of Jiu Jitsu
  6. Capable of running 32 km an hour

I'd demolish him

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I can take this easily:

  1. Height 6"9
  2. Weight 250 Pounds
  3. 1 year of boxing
  4. 1 year of kickboxing
  5. 1 year of Jiu Jitsu
  6. Capable of running 32 km an hour

I'd demolish him

You should apply for deathtrooper school.

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Throw the knife at a vital spot if I miss I bfr myself

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#36  Edited By thelocust619

I hide the knife, throw the brass knuckles as a distraction and dive as if to take him down. While he laughs, I jam my face in his crotch and bite his tesicles. As he screams, I stab him in the neck and run.

Don't you judge me. I wanna live, goddamnit. If I had prep I'd drop a deuce on the knife to promote infection. Oh wait, I have prep? I crap on the knife, and smear the rest all over myself like war paint. Come get some. In fact, I'll cut my hair off with the crapknife and leave it on the stove to fill the house with an ungodly stench.

I will win because he has no dooky resistance feats and it will also work as a lubricant as I slide up to his neck, closely, as to keep the crapknife hidden from his line of sight. My horrific visage and the onslaught of offensive odors as he enters will induce confusion that I will use to get close, and the futility of my tackle will break his confusion with laughter, lowering his guard for the painful one-two finisher. I will dub this style Crouching Nutcracker, Hiding in Feces.

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HeroUp2112

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Sigh.

So...a decently trained fighter, with maybe some bulk... which is all the BEST of us are, are going to take down a massive, powerful, pain immune, highly trained, highly experienced, highly confident, and highly motivated special forces combat operative who almost killed another highly physically capable, highly trained, highly confident, highly motivated, and with superior armaments, (hell he attacked the dude with a M67 grenade and the dude swatted it right back at Frank.

So, by being confident, and somehow fighting smarter and better than a supremely bad ass special forces operative we'll win? Well anything is POSSIBLE, and I'd for sure die fighting before I rolled over and died but unless you've got a firearm in hand before the guy comes through the door odds are much better than excellent you're toast.

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#38  Edited By HeroUp2112

@thepunisherfan:

Wait...does that 2 hours prep time include know he's coming in two hours and you can get ready for him and forget the martial arts stuff?

If THIS is the case this is a horse of a different color. I thought the deal was that you had two hours of training then you opened the door and there he was.

Two hours time in my house and I know he's coming? He's freaking dead. I've got TOO many plans for multiple intruders (no, I don't have a firearm), and one big, (well i described his horrible bad assness already) will be about like that.

Here is just one. (based on one of the scenarios I've prepared for and what I have in the house)

Take a long 220v extension cord with adapter cut off one end and make sure the copper wires are exposed, pour soapy water DEEP and thick around the doorway. Place copper end of cord in the water.

Put all the speed stick (clearish) type of deodorant, shampoo, Lectric shave, dish soap (not liquid laundry detergent), or other thick melty materials (not candle wax though, it cools to quickly), and boil them in a large sauce pan then simmer at a just below a boil until he gets there.

When he kicks in the door, plug in the extension cord...he had pretty thick shoes on, which may or may not work, so at the same time throw the pot of boiling junk in his face. Not only will it burn but it will STICK and burn and keep burning (a pot of hot soup messed him up, remember?), while he's clutching his face like he did in the movie. By this point the main breaker in your house should have flipped and their won't be anymore current running to the water... THEN stab him in the neck as hard and as fast as you can, and KEEP stabbing until he stops moving. Don't just stab once, the more you stab the more holes for blood to come out.

That's just one plan. Any others?

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Dession_Viper

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I would still blitz and oneshot him.

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TheTruthIII

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#41  Edited By TheTruthIII

You should be giving him the knife and brass knuckles. Not that they'll matter when I Falcon Punch him at mach 6.

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You should be giving him the knife and brass knuckles. Not that they'll matter when I Falcon Punch him at mach 6.

You're the GOAT.

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@heroup2112: It does include anything of that nature.

Then I'm sure any number of us could come up with ways to take him down. I can think of half a dozen off the top of my head and I doubt I'm the most creative person on the Vine.

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I'll have to go for the knife stab to the face otherwise I'm a goner.

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#46  Edited By JaylinFreeman

I have a 50/50 chance. The brass knuckles and knife should, compensate for the physical gap and I could potentially oneshot with the knife depending on where it lands. Since, I do have two years of training from Ip Man and Mike Tyson.

But, Kevin Nash (The Russian’s actor) is 6’10 and was around 328 lbs in this movie and I’m only 5’7 and 160 lbs. And while am in pretty good shape, he’s far stronger and more durable and can probably stomp just based off of stats alone.