You vs A Silverback Gorilla

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skywalker95

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You have one weapon to pick- Wood Axe, Metal Baseball Bat, Spear, Kitchen Knife or a Whip and Chair

You're both bloodlusted

Fight takes place in an airport- 50 feet apart

Which weapon do you pick and do you win or lose your fight?

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green_skaar

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#2 green_skaar  Online

I'd pick the spear for range, but ultimately lose because I'm not trained at all with spears.

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batmansolosall

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I'll choose the spear.

Imma still die tho.

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ProfessorRespect

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#4  Edited By ProfessorRespect

You know how muscular and strong a Sliverback is, right? Even the strongest men in history couldn't lift what a average adult male could.

I doubt a chair (useless) a whip (that'll only annoy it more) or sharp objects are going to do to it unless you somehow get a lucky shot with the spear and kill it in one shot. Otherwise, it's just going to maul anyone on the inside.

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jay_z94

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Spears are relatively easy to use compared to other weapons. I’d lose but the Gorilla would die soon afterwards if I land a clean stab in the chest/stomach.

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Daisy_Johnson

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I take the chair and then put it on the ground. I then sit on the chair and begin to sing nursery rhymes to the Silverback until it falls asleep.

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VineC1993

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This is horrendous

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ourmanuel

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#8  Edited By ourmanuel

The spear gives the best chances of survival

But you’d need to get like an eyeshot to do that

Gorilla still probably stomps either way.

KoL just oneshots with banana bait.

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TheSerbianEmpire

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Gorilla gets oneshotted by any weapon here.

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TakenStew22

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Mismatch. I get stomped either way.

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Paytience

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Anyone who doesn't pick the spear dies. Anyone who picks a spear stands a decent chance if they are reasonably athletic.

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Dr_Shenanigans

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With an axe you pretty much only get one shot, a solid blow to the head with a wood axe could probably do the trick but it's a pretty big gamble.

The only good a bat would serve is to keep the gorilla from biting by shoving it in it's mouth.

A spear is probably the best bet here but if the gorilla gets past it & grapples me I'd rather have a knife.

Not really sure what a whip is suppose to do to a bloodlusted gorilla, I doubt he's even feel it & the chair might actually be a liability when that gorilla yanks it out of your hand.

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AvatarOfDeath

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No one is winning this with anything less than a firearm. You will die with any of these weapons vs. a bloodlusted Silverback gorilla....

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mexcomics2078

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The Gorilla breaks every bone of my body. It would be a painful way to go

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Koays

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I stomp

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Paytience

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#16  Edited By Paytience

@avatarofdeath: Step 1...point spear at gorilla.

Step 2...stand on end of the spear.

Step 3...let Gorilla charge onto spear.

Step 4...hope you move away fast enough.

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AvatarOfDeath

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@paytience: They're not dumb though they might just slap that spear away lol

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FaradaySloth

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Gorilla one shots

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WorldofRuin6

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I don't always use spears, but when I do, I use them to kill gorillas.

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jplaya2023

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lol we die a horrible death. I'm using a chair and the whip to flee to safety

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Paytience

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RedHood_JayTodd

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Gorilla stomps no matter the choice of weapon.

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SpiderKing

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#24  Edited By SpiderKing

Gorillas are normally gentle creatures, so I grab the chair, stand on it while making myself look as big as I can. Also, I scream, and whip ferociously to intidimate the beast.

Once I manage to do so, I call the police to subdue it.

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Reap_ii

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The gorilla will not charge into a sharp spear. He can tell it is sharp and if you thrust it at him he will only avoid it and most likely grab it and I'm positive nobody here has better grip strength than a gorilla so the spear will be tossed or snapped like a twig. Only way to win is to throw the spear and get a lucky shot to the vitals and hope he dies before ragdolling and ripping me apart. I prolly miss with the throw anyway.

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FireStarLord73194

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Give me the Infinity Gauntlet and the gorilla would still win

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AvengersAsssemb

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I don't see why I couldn't choke out a Gorilla.

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skywalker95

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Bump

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skywalker95

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BOC

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KingLouie

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#31  Edited By KingLouie

Silverback is too op

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Rockette

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First choice is Spear. Second choice is Axe. Watch: Gorillas in the Mist.

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Alavanka

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#33  Edited By Alavanka
@avengersasssemb said:

I don't see why I couldn't choke out a Gorilla.

Gorilla's necks are way too broad for anyone's arm to choke. If we're talking about a human with gorilla strength, there's nothing stopping you from sinking a rear naked, but that neck is way too broad to secure a choke. It's like...almost as wide as a man's torso. It'd be more a hug than a choke.

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Shadow411

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There’s a reason we’ve been at the top of the food-chain for so long. Anyone here, could win with a week of training and a spear. Anyone athletically adapt should win w/o training. As long as we use what’s put us atop the food chain

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Saiyan_Prince510

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#35  Edited By Saiyan_Prince510

The Spear. It won’t help me though, only a gun can and even than he can still one shot me and takes me with him.

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LJayG

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A well placed spear could kill it 4/10

Same with the bat. 3/10

The others I'm not so sure about. 0/10

Either way, I still get beaten like a pair of bongo drums

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azrael1973

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#37  Edited By azrael1973

@shadow411 said:

There’s a reason we’ve been at the top of the food-chain for so long. Anyone here, could win with a week of training and a spear. Anyone athletically adapt should win w/o training. As long as we use what’s put us atop the food chain

What put us on the top of the food chain is that we used to fight in groups and not in 1v1 vs a gorilla. I die, some of use will die with a delusional smile on their face.

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Subline

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I'd one shot via pressure points.

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Redshift_Bacon

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Is the spear a full metal shaft or just like a sharp rock point on Wood?

If its the Former, I take the fight but probably with some broken bones, using the Gorillas own weight to drive the spear into his neck or head.

If its the later, I die from pummeling but also manage to kill the Gorilla with bleed-out.

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Rockette

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Everyone here is underestimating the wood axe. Js.

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Rockette

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No Caption Provided

Gorillas aren't the OP creatures you all think they are. Have tissues on hand.

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Shadow411

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@azrael1973:

Yea, a great example of what I was referring to, using what put us on the top of the food chain. There’s men in Spaniard countries, you just give them a red flag and they can totally control the most blood-blusted bulls on the planet (Bulls that would stomp a silver-back any day of the week).

What I’m saying is, we can see the weakness to certain things, we can recognize patterns, mobility, etc. and we have the rationale to manipulate the situation in our favor to better capitalize on said weakness. There’s many times throughout history where gladiators were put in arenas against lions and the gladiators gutted the beasts (A 500 lb male lion would be much harder to deal with than a freakin silver back, which has nothing defending it’s vital areas).

For example: watch 2 humans fight, then watch 2 silverbacks fight. The humans are doing more dodging than straight blunt force brawling. That’s because we can make strategic cuts/hits and avoid injury to ourself, whereas gorillas/lions don’t fight like that.

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azrael1973

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#43  Edited By azrael1973

@shadow411 said:

@azrael1973:

Yea, a great example of what I was referring to, using what put us on the top of the food chain. There’s men in Spaniard countries, you just give them a red flag and they can totally control the most blood-blusted bulls on the planet (Bulls that would stomp a silver-back any day of the week).

What I’m saying is, we can see the weakness to certain things, we can recognize patterns, mobility, etc. and we have the rationale to manipulate the situation in our favor to better capitalize on said weakness. There’s many times throughout history where gladiators were put in arenas against lions and the gladiators gutted the beasts (A 500 lb male lion would be much harder to deal with than a freakin silver back, which has nothing defending it’s vital areas).

I can see a trained african warrior winning, but I think most of us keyboard warriors will just die in a 1v1 fight with a gorilla. The gorilla is not really stupid after all they share 98% of our DNA. And a silverback is suppossed to have fought a lot of rivals. That's the strength we are talking about. A gorilla breaks security glass casually.

A human hit with this strength would be DEAD in instant.

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Shadow411

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#44  Edited By Shadow411

@azrael1973:

But not 98% of our intellect. You obviously didn’t even watch the video yourself, one of the zookeers said the glass often breaks itself overnight. And if you steadfastly held a spear on the gorillas stomach when he made that jump, you gutted him. GG fam

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AlexTheBoss

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I pick the spear, but since I don't really know how to use it and the gorilla is bloodlusted, I probably lose. Give me some spear training and put me against an in character gorilla and I should win.

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azrael1973

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#46  Edited By azrael1973

@shadow411 said:

@azrael1973:

But not 98% of our intellect. You obviously didn’t even watch the video yourself, one of the zookeers said the glass often breaks itself overnight. And if you steadfastly held a spear on the gorillas stomach when he made that jump, you gutted him. GG fam

I did watch the video. If you were the zookeeper would you tell anyone that the visitors might have been in danger? What I know is that humans would need a hammer to smash security glass. Chimps do use sticks as a weapon. Why shouldn't the gorilla just grab the spear, disarm you and proceed to rip off your limbs?

It's not like I say that humans with a spear would always lose, but a average untrained human male would lose 9/10.

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Shadow411

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#47  Edited By Shadow411

@azrael1973:

Now that I think about it, you may be right. I forget how many people can’t even bench press 225 lbs. Me and my little brother (Who I’m 5 years older than) both passed that milestone in 8th grade. Cause I have many friends who never broke 225 as seniors whereas I got 385. My little bro is a senior now and gettin 335 (He broke his shoulder over the summer on my dirt bike). So, analyzing the average male (Let alone “Keyboard warrior as you put it lol”) I can see where the AVERAGE plain Jane guy would lose. But I did say 1 week worth of training with a spear and we’d win. Although I have a lot of martial arts training with my unnatural strength lvl’s and a strong sense for fighting. So I’m 90% positive I’d be able to kill a silverback with a spear. I work on a farm, I deal with 2,000 lb bulls all day. I’m not underestimating the silver-back here, and trust me when I tell you, a 2,000 lb angus bull, would’ve completely shattered that glass had he hit it head first like that.

I can see where you comin from, to me it may seem simple, but to others it wouldn’t be. Kinda like someone trying to explain aviation to me, I wouldn’t understand s*** no matter how many times they explain it. Anything confrontational I’m good with lol that’s why I’m pursuing a forensic accounting degree, I graduate in 2 months finally!!!

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azrael1973

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@azrael1973:

Now that I think about it, you may be right. I forget how many people can’t even bench press 225 lbs. Me and my little brother (Who I’m 5 years older than) both passed that milestone in 8th grade. Cause I have many friends who never broke 225 as seniors whereas I got 385. My little bro is a senior now and gettin 335 (He broke his shoulder over the summer on my dirt bike). So, analyzing the average male (Let alone “Keyboard warrior as you put it lol”) I can see where the AVERAGE plain Jane guy would lose. But I did say 1 week worth of training with a spear and we’d win. Although I have a lot of martial arts training with my unnatural strength lvl’s and a strong sense for fighting. So I’m 90% positive I’d be able to kill a silverback with a spear. I work on a farm, I deal with 2,000 lb bulls all day. I’m not underestimating the silver-back here, and trust me when I tell you, a 2,000 lb angus bull, would’ve completely shattered that glass had he hit it head first like that.

I can see where you comin from, to me it may seem simple, but to others it wouldn’t be. Kinda like someone trying to explain aviation to me, I wouldn’t understand s*** no matter how many times they explain it. Anything confrontational I’m good with lol that’s why I’m pursuing a forensic accounting degree, I graduate in 2 months finally!!!

Exactly! I believe that some guys like you could do it just most people can't.

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Dr_Shenanigans

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@azrael1973: Why do you seem to think a gorilla would have the reflexes to dodge a full speed spear thrust?

It's a pretty broad target.

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Dr_Shenanigans

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@rockette said:

Everyone here is underestimating the wood axe. Js.

Yeah but it's pretty much over for someone if they miss or the gorilla charges faster than they swung & it only took a blow from the handle.