You vs A retarded lion

This topic is locked from further discussion.

Avatar image for crushyourenemies
CRUSHYOURENEMIES

2786

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 0

#1  Edited By CRUSHYOURENEMIES
No Caption Provided

vs

No Caption Provided

you are on a quest to brag to your fellow nerd friends about hunting a lion and find a retarded one.

do you succeed and how?

you're in the jungle with a big knife trying to be all sneaky.

the retarded lion sees u 30 feet away and its time to fight.

u have 5 minute prep, a knife and a bag of cheetos

the lion is badly coordinated and cant do simple math

Avatar image for thewatcherking
TheWatcherKing

23384

Forum Posts

31

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 0

I still would get mauled tbh.

Avatar image for superhero24
Superhero24

4772

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 0

#3  Edited By Superhero24

I could do it, but this would be difficult.

Avatar image for mainjp
MainJP

7795

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 0

I don't need the knife or Cheetos.

No Caption Provided

Avatar image for johnnyz256
JohnnyZ256

7095

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 0

That word is frowned upon.

Avatar image for heroup2112
HeroUp2112

18447

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 0

#6  Edited By HeroUp2112

Ummmmmm, what exactly are its disabilities? Would it just sit there confused? Is it uncoordinated? What's the deal? Also, isn't that as picture of a tiger?

Avatar image for the_red_viper
the_red_viper

12961

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 0

#7  Edited By the_red_viper  Moderator

XD

I can picture it:

Me: Bring it on!!!

Lion: Woof

Avatar image for sayo786
Sayo786

562

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 0

Lion stomps us. Anyone who says otherwise is wanking themselves. Retarded lions might slash my balls off srs. Atleast sane lions go for neck kill. Retarded lion probably eat my legs while i still alive and then take a shit on me

Avatar image for jonez_
Jonez_

11499

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 0

Retarded human vs retarded lion

Does not end well

Avatar image for heroup2112
HeroUp2112

18447

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 0

I've got it!

I buy the Lion (Tiger? Tion?) a mouth guard (so it doesn't bit it's tongue with those teeth), pay it many compliments and build its self esteem, and feed it all the raw steak it wants and it becomes my best friend. I then bring it around to show all my nerd friend provided they don't make fun of it...that would NOT be cool.

I have therefore succeeded.

I win.

Avatar image for franky666
franky666

801

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 0

I'd try to go full retard hoping to get in touch with his retarded soul and make him believe he his vegetarian

Avatar image for deactivated-599632ff76068
deactivated-599632ff76068

1029

Forum Posts

15

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 0

Prep? I can climb up a tree and wait for help.

Avatar image for thorthunder98
Thorthunder98

7111

Forum Posts

1578

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 2

I believe the picture is of a down syndrome Tiger (Fully serious)

Avatar image for rag_man
Rag_man

1378

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 0

#15  Edited By Rag_man

I don't know the answer, but I do know this thread is sure retarded. lol

Avatar image for heroup2112
HeroUp2112

18447

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 0

I still think I have the best answer! Give up y'all!=D

Avatar image for seastone98
seastone98

8406

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 0

Lol also dats a tiger not a lion

Avatar image for higherpower
higherpower

13990

Forum Posts

50049

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 1

User Lists: 3

#18 higherpower  Moderator

Ummmmmm, what exactly are its disabilities? Would it just sit there confused? Is it uncoordinated? What's the deal? Also, isn't that as picture of a tiger?

Bruh

Avatar image for heroup2112
HeroUp2112

18447

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 0

@heroup2112 said:

Ummmmmm, what exactly are its disabilities? Would it just sit there confused? Is it uncoordinated? What's the deal? Also, isn't that as picture of a tiger?

Bruh

These are legitimate questions "retarded" (even though it's a pretty uncool term) is a pretty broad term that could define a number of symptoms.

Avatar image for rickyrck
rickyrck

2008

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 0

I climb a tree, stalemate

Avatar image for rockette
Rockette

6912

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 0

I'd throw a brick at it's deformed mug! Probably shatter it's weakened skull!

This is also a shame... it's deformed due to inbreeding of white tigers (they are rare). I know, my fiancé use to train Tigers (in rl).

Avatar image for deactivated-59b71d5620272
deactivated-59b71d5620272

3438

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 0

Avatar image for deactivated-5a98875cd0f94
deactivated-5a98875cd0f94

2257

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 0

Easy. I climb a tree. In the beginning, it's a stalemate. But then I throw the bag of Cheetos, and the Cheetos spread all over the place. The lion is distracted, and then I jump out of the tree, land on it, and painfully stab it to death.

Avatar image for gnomishness
Gnomishness

1747

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 0

#24  Edited By Gnomishness

@rickyrck:

I climb a tree, stalemate

I climb a tree and use my advantage of opposable thumbs to throw rocks and branches down at it.

Eventually it stalks away, but as it leaves, I make a gesture to start climbing down the tree to keep it's interest, continuing to throw rocks at it all the while.

Eventually, tired and wounded, the lion doesn't even care if I'm coming down the tree and starts stalking away. I follow it carefully at a distance with a large sturdy branch ahead if me like i spear, to ward off it's approach and to prevent it from regaining interest in me. As I follow it, I continue to throw rocks, while maintaining a safe distance where I can sprint up a tree if the Lion turns on me.

Eventually the Lion decides to just run away, but running as a lion leaves a trail I can follow through the jungle. I continue to hound him, and eventually catch up thanks to the Endurance Running Hypothesis, where I will continue to throw rock at him passive aggressively until he once again flees. The cheetos help me maintain energy. I also won't worry about the repercussions of drinking swamp water, since the repercussions likely won't effect me until later.

Finally, after maybe 16 hours of this, the lion will be too exhausted to move just because I'm trowing rocks. I'll throw bigger rocks with more buildup time, and either he continues to move away, or he gets seriously injured as I lob 100 pounds of rock at his head. Eventually it degenerates to hitting him with a stick. Of course he'll try to fight back at this point, but he'll be critically exhausted and seriously wounded by now, and I'll still be out of immediate reach with my long stick, so it will be futile.

Finally, I find a good angle, hold his limbs down with a stick in one hand, and with the other hand I quickly and viciously stab into it's neck. I have no illusions about not being mauled at this part, but by now he'll be struggling weakly and dying from a bleeding artery, so I likely won't be dead at the end, yet he will.

Avatar image for xerolot
Xerolot

3097

Forum Posts

327

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 2

#25  Edited By Xerolot

I would get stomped by pure physicals and damage output, massive gap

Avatar image for vipersixteen
ViperSixteen

3223

Forum Posts

68

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 1

User Lists: 0

The Lion dies.

Avatar image for anthp2000
anthp2000

39844

Forum Posts

150

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 0

#27 anthp2000  Moderator

What kind of thread is this?