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#1 Edited by CRUSHYOURENEMIES (1762 posts) - - Show Bio
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vs

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you are on a quest to brag to your fellow nerd friends about hunting a lion and find a retarded one.

do you succeed and how?

you're in the jungle with a big knife trying to be all sneaky.

the retarded lion sees u 30 feet away and its time to fight.

u have 5 minute prep, a knife and a bag of cheetos

the lion is badly coordinated and cant do simple math

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#2 Posted by Watcher5000 (4076 posts) - - Show Bio

I still would get mauled tbh.

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#3 Edited by Superhero24 (2614 posts) - - Show Bio

I could do it, but this would be difficult.

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#4 Posted by MainJP (1320 posts) - - Show Bio

I don't need the knife or Cheetos.

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#5 Posted by JohnnyZ256 (5534 posts) - - Show Bio

That word is frowned upon.

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#6 Edited by HeroUp2112 (12170 posts) - - Show Bio

Ummmmmm, what exactly are its disabilities? Would it just sit there confused? Is it uncoordinated? What's the deal? Also, isn't that as picture of a tiger?

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#7 Edited by The_Red_Viper (9986 posts) - - Show Bio

XD

I can picture it:

Me: Bring it on!!!

Lion: Woof

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#8 Posted by Sayo786 (565 posts) - - Show Bio

Lion stomps us. Anyone who says otherwise is wanking themselves. Retarded lions might slash my balls off srs. Atleast sane lions go for neck kill. Retarded lion probably eat my legs while i still alive and then take a shit on me

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#9 Posted by Jonez_ (10646 posts) - - Show Bio

Retarded human vs retarded lion

Does not end well

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#10 Posted by HeroUp2112 (12170 posts) - - Show Bio

I've got it!

I buy the Lion (Tiger? Tion?) a mouth guard (so it doesn't bit it's tongue with those teeth), pay it many compliments and build its self esteem, and feed it all the raw steak it wants and it becomes my best friend. I then bring it around to show all my nerd friend provided they don't make fun of it...that would NOT be cool.

I have therefore succeeded.

I win.

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#11 Posted by franky666 (804 posts) - - Show Bio

I'd try to go full retard hoping to get in touch with his retarded soul and make him believe he his vegetarian

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#12 Posted by deactivated-599632ff76068 (1036 posts) - - Show Bio

Prep? I can climb up a tree and wait for help.

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#13 Posted by Thorthunder98 (3596 posts) - - Show Bio

I believe the picture is of a down syndrome Tiger (Fully serious)

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#14 Posted by foxerdes (5825 posts) - - Show Bio

C'mon.

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#15 Edited by Rag_man (1288 posts) - - Show Bio

I don't know the answer, but I do know this thread is sure retarded. lol

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#16 Posted by HeroUp2112 (12170 posts) - - Show Bio

I still think I have the best answer! Give up y'all!=D

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#17 Posted by seastone98 (2558 posts) - - Show Bio

Lol also dats a tiger not a lion

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#18 Posted by god_vulcan (4750 posts) - - Show Bio

Ummmmmm, what exactly are its disabilities? Would it just sit there confused? Is it uncoordinated? What's the deal? Also, isn't that as picture of a tiger?

Bruh

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#19 Posted by HeroUp2112 (12170 posts) - - Show Bio

@heroup2112 said:

Ummmmmm, what exactly are its disabilities? Would it just sit there confused? Is it uncoordinated? What's the deal? Also, isn't that as picture of a tiger?

Bruh

These are legitimate questions "retarded" (even though it's a pretty uncool term) is a pretty broad term that could define a number of symptoms.

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#20 Posted by rickyrck (1806 posts) - - Show Bio

I climb a tree, stalemate

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#21 Posted by Rockette (4274 posts) - - Show Bio

I'd throw a brick at it's deformed mug! Probably shatter it's weakened skull!

This is also a shame... it's deformed due to inbreeding of white tigers (they are rare). I know, my fiancé use to train Tigers (in rl).

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#22 Posted by Kamishini (2329 posts) - - Show Bio
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#23 Posted by thesithmaster (2152 posts) - - Show Bio

Easy. I climb a tree. In the beginning, it's a stalemate. But then I throw the bag of Cheetos, and the Cheetos spread all over the place. The lion is distracted, and then I jump out of the tree, land on it, and painfully stab it to death.

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#24 Edited by Gnomishness (1156 posts) - - Show Bio

@rickyrck:

I climb a tree, stalemate

I climb a tree and use my advantage of opposable thumbs to throw rocks and branches down at it.

Eventually it stalks away, but as it leaves, I make a gesture to start climbing down the tree to keep it's interest, continuing to throw rocks at it all the while.

Eventually, tired and wounded, the lion doesn't even care if I'm coming down the tree and starts stalking away. I follow it carefully at a distance with a large sturdy branch ahead if me like i spear, to ward off it's approach and to prevent it from regaining interest in me. As I follow it, I continue to throw rocks, while maintaining a safe distance where I can sprint up a tree if the Lion turns on me.

Eventually the Lion decides to just run away, but running as a lion leaves a trail I can follow through the jungle. I continue to hound him, and eventually catch up thanks to the Endurance Running Hypothesis, where I will continue to throw rock at him passive aggressively until he once again flees. The cheetos help me maintain energy. I also won't worry about the repercussions of drinking swamp water, since the repercussions likely won't effect me until later.

Finally, after maybe 16 hours of this, the lion will be too exhausted to move just because I'm trowing rocks. I'll throw bigger rocks with more buildup time, and either he continues to move away, or he gets seriously injured as I lob 100 pounds of rock at his head. Eventually it degenerates to hitting him with a stick. Of course he'll try to fight back at this point, but he'll be critically exhausted and seriously wounded by now, and I'll still be out of immediate reach with my long stick, so it will be futile.

Finally, I find a good angle, hold his limbs down with a stick in one hand, and with the other hand I quickly and viciously stab into it's neck. I have no illusions about not being mauled at this part, but by now he'll be struggling weakly and dying from a bleeding artery, so I likely won't be dead at the end, yet he will.

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#25 Edited by Xerolot (2591 posts) - - Show Bio

I would get stomped by pure physicals and damage output, massive gap

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#26 Posted by YousufKhan1212 (2033 posts) - - Show Bio

The Lion dies.

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#27 Posted by ANTHP2000 (7760 posts) - - Show Bio

What kind of thread is this?

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