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#1 Edited by CRUSHYOURENEMIES (1753 posts) - - Show Bio
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vs

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the wolf knows youve been making fun of his furry ass and wants to tear your head off

you have a wireless keyboard

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#2 Posted by CallMeBlast (728 posts) - - Show Bio

Wolf wins, I don't care how macho you think you are.

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#3 Edited by CitizenSurfer (803 posts) - - Show Bio

@crushyourenemies:

  1. What type of wolf is it?
  2. How big is it?
  3. Where does the fight take place?
  4. How long do I have to survive? (because no-one here is fighting off a bloodlusted healthy wolf)

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#4 Posted by ODIN619360 (1121 posts) - - Show Bio

The wolf wins, I got nothing lol.

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#5 Posted by BladeOfFury (1471 posts) - - Show Bio

I can't run that fast.

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#6 Posted by DirtyTree333 (935 posts) - - Show Bio

I one-shot it with a kick to the head. I'm the real-life equivalent of Batroc the Leaper.

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#7 Posted by CitizenSurfer (803 posts) - - Show Bio

I one-shot it with a kick to the head. I'm the real-life equivalent of Batroc the Leaper.

A well trained martial artist? That ain't helping you fend off a bloodlusted wolf.

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#8 Posted by Frankenmidget (1228 posts) - - Show Bio

Wolf oneshots

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#9 Edited by noah_ouellette (2892 posts) - - Show Bio

It's getting it's neck snapped. Doesn't help it's cause that i can just throw it around

Edit: I am aware I will die of bloodloss. I Just believe I will kill it as well

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#10 Posted by Thorthunder98 (3345 posts) - - Show Bio

Do I get 2 chimpanzees for back-up?

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#11 Posted by _Reynard_ (2770 posts) - - Show Bio

I don't think I make it out alive, but if I somehow do I'm going be looking like this.

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#12 Edited by CitizenSurfer (803 posts) - - Show Bio

@noah_ouellette said:

It's getting it's neck snapped. Doesn't help it's cause that i can just throw it around

You are physically not capable of snapping a wolf's neck. Human's do not possess the ability to output that amount of force so you can forget about that scenario. You also aren't throwing around a 100 lb+ wolf that is trying to tear your throat out so you can also forget about that scenario.

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#13 Posted by Cerberus369616 (1884 posts) - - Show Bio

Wolf better get ready to catch these Hands.

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#14 Posted by Amendment50 (10716 posts) - - Show Bio

i kill it with my navy seal training and 15 black belts.

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#15 Posted by noah_ouellette (2892 posts) - - Show Bio

@citizensurfer: 100lb wolf is no big deal when I can throw around 200lb and lift upwards of 300lb. And what's the breaking point of a wolfs neck? Cause human necks snap very easily, a wolf isn't that superior to a human with bone density

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#16 Edited by CallMeBlast (728 posts) - - Show Bio

@noah_ouellette: I've worked with Dogs all my life and let me tell you what would happen if someone tried to grab a wolf.

  1. It bites down on your forearm
  2. It starts pulling downwards
  3. It starts shaking it's head and body while pulling downwards

You wont be able to lift it when this happens, your arm will be shredded bone crushed and you better pray you don't fall over.

But of course if your the average macho internet guy you're probably to fast for the wolf right?

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#17 Edited by CallMeBlast (728 posts) - - Show Bio

@noah_ouellette: Also even if you manage to out speed the wolf and grab it by the neck it's coat is thick and it's far to flexible for you to keep it in the hold, it's going to slip out

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#18 Posted by noah_ouellette (2892 posts) - - Show Bio

@callmeblast: I'm definitely not your average dude. But I've fought off a rabid lab before with only a small bite. Dog ended up being put down. Didn't want it too but that was the decision. I don't believe a wolf is that much superior to a rabid dog. Especially just your average beta.

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#19 Posted by thesithmaster (1856 posts) - - Show Bio

I let the wolf come close, then I spank it with the keyboard. Or if that doesn't work, depends on the environment. If it's a forest, I could make use of it. Or a city.

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#20 Edited by CitizenSurfer (803 posts) - - Show Bio

@citizensurfer: 100lb wolf is no big deal when I can throw around 200lb and lift upwards of 300lb. And what's the breaking point of a wolfs neck? Cause human necks snap very easily, a wolf isn't that superior to a human with bone density

A 100lb Wolf that can run at 40+ mph as well as have a biteforce of 1,000+ lbs is no big deal?

I don't care how much you can lift or throw, you are doing that to stationary objects that are not fighting back or trying to rip your head off.

A human's neck snaps very easily did you just say? Have you been watching too many Hollywood movies or something, because that is simply not the case whatsoever. To snap a human neck you need over 1,000 lbs of force and it isn't as easy as just simply twisting someones neck.

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#21 Posted by DeathWingTerminatorT1000 (414 posts) - - Show Bio

I think I can f*ck up a wolf with bare hands

I practice MMA for 7 years now, boxing in parallel for 6 years, I could. Not to count strength training at the gym for 4 years, 6 ft 1 1/2 for 189 lbs.

I have an insane speed, reflexes similar to my speed. I just have to wait for him to charge me, dodge his attacks, and throw good punches to his head. I won't stop, and at the smallest mistake he does, the wolf is finished.

You'll always have virgins from here thinking that it's impossible. First, nothing is impossible with will, my friends, and 2) that's not with your weak ass bodies that you'll do anything. Any man with a minimum of training can beat a wolf with a knife anyway. With bare hands, that is not necessarily more complicated, it just requires technical skills.

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#22 Edited by Emperor339 (2309 posts) - - Show Bio

Ends in sex

Am I allowed my pet huskeys for back up?

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#23 Posted by CitizenSurfer (803 posts) - - Show Bio

@callmeblast: I'm definitely not your average dude. But I've fought off a rabid lab before with only a small bite. Dog ended up being put down. Didn't want it too but that was the decision. I don't believe a wolf is that much superior to a rabid dog. Especially just your average beta.

Let me guess you're an ex navy seal with over 400+ confirmed kills as well as an expertly trained mixed martial artist who has single handedly beaten 20+ men simultaneously?

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#24 Posted by CallMeBlast (728 posts) - - Show Bio

@noah_ouellette: A rabid lab lmao....

A Wolf would maul a rabid lab with little trouble.

I work for a vet in rural area, I've seen Wolf's maul things such as Horse, bulls, cows etc. You being "above average" is still far inferior to a Horse.

And before you say " Those are packs though" I've seen cases where an Omega takes down a Horse.

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#25 Edited by CitizenSurfer (803 posts) - - Show Bio

@deathwingterminatort1000 said:

I think I can f*ck up a wolf with bare hands

I practice MMA for 7 years now, boxing in parallel for 6 years, I could. Not to count strength training at the gym for 4 years, 6 ft 1 1/2 for 189 lbs.

I have an insane speed, reflexes similar to my speed. I just have to wait for him to charge me, dodge his attacks, and throw good punches to his head. I won't stop, and at the smallest mistake he does, the wolf is finished.

You'll always have virgins from here thinking that it's impossible. First, nothing is impossible with will, my friends, and 2) that's not with your weak ass bodies that you'll do anything. Any man with a minimum of training can beat a wolf with a knife anyway. With bare hands, that is not necessarily more complicated, it just requires technical skills.

Dude if those are your physical stats I would mess you up, let alone a bloodlusted wolf. Always get virgins on here who think they're gods gift to mankind who can manhandle a fully grown predatory animal that casually hunts prey 4x larger than itself.

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#26 Posted by LarcadeDragneel (572 posts) - - Show Bio

Can I get standard gear?

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#27 Posted by noah_ouellette (2892 posts) - - Show Bio

@callmeblast: can you find that case. Cause I've never seen an omega do anything that impressive

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#28 Posted by morleericks (10305 posts) - - Show Bio

What the hell? Comicvine has the most brutal and lethal of murderers as members. Such tough guys.

Can any of you train me in your ways?

Online
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#29 Edited by CallMeBlast (728 posts) - - Show Bio

@noah_ouellette: For one you don't study animals like I do.

secondly you don't work with animals like I do.

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#30 Posted by Rockette (3995 posts) - - Show Bio

What the hell? Comicvine has the most brutal and lethal of murderers as members. Such tough guys.

Can any of you train me in your ways?

LMAO!

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#31 Posted by ImpurestCheese (12542 posts) - - Show Bio

Wolves are coursing predators so running won't help. Short of having a weapon of a much higher magnitude than a keyboard I doubt anyone makes it out alive. I would hope that I could stand my ground and look big to scare it off, but this wolf seems to have a grudge (despite me never being mean to it or its pack) so that may not be an option.

I'm certain the wolf beats everyone who goes against it assuming it has rest between bouts.

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#32 Posted by HitTheAssasin (1882 posts) - - Show Bio

I get horribly stomped.

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#33 Posted by morleericks (10305 posts) - - Show Bio

@citizensurfer: Didn't ya hear? Apparently people here possess the physical capabilities of Jason Voorhees and can snap human necks like fragile twigs.

You know, because since they saw him do it, WE CAN DO IT TOO!

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#34 Posted by SuperEntity (1055 posts) - - Show Bio

The wolf bites me then i turn into a Werewolf and stomp

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#35 Posted by Chaos239 (952 posts) - - Show Bio

lol I roflstomp this wolf, I'm an ex Sas member with 200+ kills, me and my buddies managed to take down an entire outpost filled with Russians with handguns only.

Hell, human necks snap like twigs so I assume Wolves probably snap like idk... rulers? Pencils?

Either way I have a feat were I managed to jump of a building, spin my sniper around and hit a Russian, plus with my speed feats I can easily dodge.

Well that's what everyone here thinks happens, in reality I run at it and get mauled to death, as does everyone here

Online
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#36 Posted by Rockette (3995 posts) - - Show Bio

The only real chance anyone here has is to garrote the wolf with the keyboard's wire.

Most would die trying...

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#37 Posted by IndomitableRegal (9022 posts) - - Show Bio

Lol. Gotta love Comic Vine. Let's call a spade a spade...I die.

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#38 Posted by CRUSHYOURENEMIES (1753 posts) - - Show Bio

@rockette said:

The only real chance anyone here has is to garrote the wolf with the keyboard's wire.

Most would die trying...

it's a wireless keyboard

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#39 Posted by noah_ouellette (2892 posts) - - Show Bio

@callmeblast: you can't prove I don't

Again you can't prove I don't lmao

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#40 Posted by Rockette (3995 posts) - - Show Bio

@rockette said:

The only real chance anyone here has is to garrote the wolf with the keyboard's wire.

Most would die trying...

it's a wireless keyboard

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#41 Posted by CallMeBlast (728 posts) - - Show Bio
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#42 Posted by captain_inverse (1647 posts) - - Show Bio

hmmmm........60/40 in favor of the wolf.

It's not an impossible feat, but more likely than not, the man would lose.

The wolf is going to have alot more endurance + the means to easily cause serious bodily harm (teeth/claws)

The man has a far more tactfulness/reasoning + reach + overall general strength

speed is relative, i'd give a slight advantage to the man, assuming he isn't obese/slower than average. (travel speed=/=fighting)

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#43 Posted by HeroUp2112 (12137 posts) - - Show Bio

Okay, killing a wolf barehanded IS possible IF (notice that's a big IF)...

You can take a LOT of pain...

You can stand the shock of this pain, AND blood loss...(have you ever taken having your flesh and muscle ripped apart and lost a pint or so of blood almost all at once? AND kept fighting a wild animal that's hell bent on killing you and won't stop until you're dead?)

The theory that you will be able to do any significant damage to a wolf (or normal lab sized dog for that matter) by punching it in the head is pretty much nonsense. Canine's don't respond to blunt force trauma the way humans do. When an animal like that is blood lusted (actual blood lust, not the Comic Vine version of blood lusted) you have to do actual structural damage, ie, crack, or cave in its skull to make it slow down or stop. Nothing short of that is going to make it stop attacking. The best bet is to break one of its legs, even then you're likely to get bitten to some degree.

I don't know who told anyone that breaking a human neck is easy but I was literally trained HOW to break a human neck (no, of course I've never done it) but it's NOT easy, especially bare handed, and a wolf has thick fur, muscle, thicker vertebrae and narrower shoulders so it would be more difficult to get leverage on. Not to mention they are set lower to the ground so getting into position to lever around the neck would be that much harder, forgetting the fact that you'd have to get that much closer to its jaws.

As for throwing it, it might be good to remember that canines have VERY flexible spines and can flex around and bite the top of their own hind ends, so they can do the same to your face when you grab them to throw them, not to mention flail around and make it that much harder to get a good throwing hold on them to begin with.

There ARE decent ways to try and kill a canine, including a wolf, but trying to pound their skull with your fists, or throw them don't rank high among them, though trying to kill them with my bare hands wouldn't be high on my list of fun things to do. They keyboard would be a nice bonus though.

If I HAD to try to kill a wolf this is how I'd do it.

Jam the keyboard into it's mouth as hard and brutally as possible (and hope I succeeded), pushing upward as I did trying to expose the throat. Your timing would have to be JUST right (super fast lighting boy might be able to do this ;) ). Slam your fingers in a pincer grip into its wind pipe (fortunately canines have a nice fat, easy to find trachea) and clamp down on that sucker as hard as you possibly can and then bear down on the wolf with all your weight and DEAL with the fact that its going to claw the hell out of you.

IF you can do both of these things A. Without it's getting its teeth into you B. You can mount the wolf and get BOTH of your hands onto its windpipe and crush the living crap out of its airway and keep it from thrashing its way out from under you (you maybe have a 30-40% chance of pulling this off btw...I might have a 20-30% chance, but I'm an old guy with a broken spine) you might just get out of this alive and relatively un-mauled.

No other weapons, this is your best shot. No kidding. I'd give up on the other stuff super men.

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#44 Posted by CallMeBlast (728 posts) - - Show Bio

@captain_inverse: Good points

Except for the speed, Wolfs lunge for vulnerable body spots such as limbs or the neck and they lunge at speeds very few humans can replicate.

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#45 Posted by Thorthunder98 (3345 posts) - - Show Bio

I don't understand why people think their martial arts training is going to help in the slightest a wolf is not a human it's not punching you any of your training is irrelevant it's a wild animal you train to fight humans not wolves or other animals. The most it could do is give you better reflexes.

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#46 Posted by Thorthunder98 (3345 posts) - - Show Bio
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#47 Edited by HeroUp2112 (12137 posts) - - Show Bio

@heroup2112: @citizensurfer:

Guys come on we know it's this easy to snap a neck even Zack Snyder can do it...

Insert Wolf
Insert Wolf

Well, c'mon...that's Zack Snyder...we're but mortal men...

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#48 Posted by YousufKhan1212 (1946 posts) - - Show Bio

The wolf gets it's bones smashed. I'd probably use the keyboard at first to disorienatate it, and while's it's disorientated, I will repeatedly kick the living shit out of it.

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#49 Posted by HeroUp2112 (12137 posts) - - Show Bio

The wolf gets it's bones smashed. I'd probably use the keyboard at first to disorienatate it, and while's it's disorientated, I will repeatedly kick the living shit out of it.

hee hee

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#50 Posted by HeroUp2112 (12137 posts) - - Show Bio

bump!