Ultimate Colossus, Enraged Thing, And Ares Vs WW Hulk

  • 95 results
  • 1
  • 2
Avatar image for barelyaverage1
#1 Posted by BarelyAverage (1368 posts) - - Show Bio

Ultimate Colossus who is much stronger than 616 and is Gay
An Enraged Thing
And Ares who is in front of his son
 With an hour of prep
 VS World War Hulk

Avatar image for greendevil
#2 Posted by Greendevil (2681 posts) - - Show Bio

WWH
Well is it?!
Well is it?!
Avatar image for the_average_bear
#3 Posted by The Average Bear (2259 posts) - - Show Bio
@BarelyAverage said:
" Ultimate Colossus who is much stronger than 616 and is Gay An Enraged Thing And Ares who is in front of his son  With an hour of prep  VS World War Hulk "
So irrelevant.  
 
Hulk probably loses.
Avatar image for powerherc
#4 Posted by PowerHerc (86188 posts) - - Show Bio
@The Average Bear:

Colossus being gay seem to be a non sequitur, but WW Hulk probably wins.
Avatar image for theflash4740
#5 Posted by TheFlash4740 (1270 posts) - - Show Bio

Feats of WWH please...spank youuu

Avatar image for pirateking69
#6 Posted by PirateKing69 (4235 posts) - - Show Bio
@TheFlash4740: he beat the whole x-men if i remember
Avatar image for theflash4740
#7 Posted by TheFlash4740 (1270 posts) - - Show Bio
@PirateKing69: Yea i know that...Beat Tony with Hulkbuster armor. and the Fantastic 4. But thats not very big acomplishments i would imagine for this Character?? Anything that makes you go "O shit, he beat him"??? haha
Avatar image for pirateking69
#8 Posted by PirateKing69 (4235 posts) - - Show Bio
@TheFlash4740:  hmm good feat imo not to many ppl just go and beat the x-men like he did lol
Avatar image for mord_mccleaver
#9 Posted by Mord McCleaver (130 posts) - - Show Bio
@TheFlash4740:  He K.O'ed Sentry and took the full force of his power.
It was a cool fight, but probably more than Hulk should have been able to take IMO.
Still an impressive feat.
Avatar image for theflash4740
#10 Edited by TheFlash4740 (1270 posts) - - Show Bio
@Mord McCleaver:  Ahhh so Sentry did go fight him...Thanks.
 
Edit: What sets WWH aside from Regular Hulk?
Avatar image for deadcool
#11 Edited by Deadcool (6944 posts) - - Show Bio

 @BarelyAverage said:

" Ultimate Colossus who is much stronger than 616 and is Gay An Enraged Thing And Ares who is in front of his son  With an hour of prep  VS World War Hulk "

And also more vulnerable, his skin is the only thing that is made of metal when he turn on his powers Ultimate Falcon almost killed him when he pointed to his eyes, and WWH defeated Ares with a punch (WWH #2), and the Thing were defeated with two punches in the head by Hulk  (WWH #2 aswell).
Ares is the God of brutal war, he is a brawler, its true that he a Great Planner in war, but all his plans are limited, because Hulk has no real physical weakness, and he has no powerful weapons, none of the menbers have feats against the Hulk, and even when Ares is faster than a Normal Hulk, he doesn't seems to be that fast compared with WWH, for me their chance of win of a 30%, but that deepends on the weapons that they are using and if they have vantage in the wround, but I don't have that Info, Hulk outmatch them in physical feats and regeneration.
Then HULK SMASH!!!
 Edit: I wanted to add this picture
 Edit: I wanted to add this picture
Avatar image for thegoldenone
#12 Posted by TheGoldenOne (38932 posts) - - Show Bio

WW Hulk wins

Avatar image for hellionvulcan
#13 Posted by HellionVulcan (7445 posts) - - Show Bio

Should be chaos war Ares be so much better as nothing can effect him so it'd be a cool fight but wwhulk should end up winning but i think ares should last longest by speed & fighting .

Avatar image for awesomex
#14 Posted by awesomex (100 posts) - - Show Bio

The writer just keep over hyping the Hulk its bullshit.
Avatar image for jedixman
#15 Posted by JediXMan (42919 posts) - - Show Bio

Hulk.

Moderator
Avatar image for ckal
#16 Posted by ckal (1116 posts) - - Show Bio

WWH effortlessly smashed She-Hulk and Ares in succession during WWH. Not to mention he took out the entire Fantastic Four basically at once, including an enraged Thing who he one shot. ...I'm sure he takes this one as well.

Avatar image for jedthing
#17 Posted by JEdThing (173 posts) - - Show Bio

World War Hulk i would think.

Avatar image for strongestonethereis
#18 Posted by StrongestOneThereIs (7064 posts) - - Show Bio

I still don't think that the Ult U versions are stronger than the 616 
Ult Hulk ghas nothing on 616 Hulk, and he is considered the strongest 
 
As far as the thread 
Hulk wins as easily as he did during wwHulk 
None of these guys can stand up against him
Avatar image for svtballa
#19 Posted by svtballa (381 posts) - - Show Bio

wwh in a stomp

Avatar image for gremlin_from_kremlin
#20 Posted by Gremlin From Kremlin (2978 posts) - - Show Bio

Hulk wins.

Avatar image for blob
#21 Posted by Blob (656 posts) - - Show Bio
@svtballa said:
" wwh in a stomp "
Avatar image for blacklightning13
#22 Posted by Blacklightning13 (937 posts) - - Show Bio

1.Where are they fighting.
2.What weapons does ares have.
3.Do they have any vehicles that they gathered in prepare time.
4.Probably doesn't matter Hulk will probably win anyway.

Avatar image for deadpoolvironfist
#23 Posted by DeadpoolvIronFist (2577 posts) - - Show Bio

WW Hulk

Avatar image for holyserpent
#24 Posted by HolySerpent (13762 posts) - - Show Bio

hulk smash
Avatar image for franklinrichards86
#25 Posted by franklinrichards86 (428 posts) - - Show Bio

  
   

    
 
hulk wins 
Avatar image for czarny_samael666
#26 Posted by czarny_samael666 (17185 posts) - - Show Bio
WWHulk pretty easily. He one-shoted Ares and  crushed Colossus. This team won't do better.
 
@PirateKing69 said:
" @TheFlash4740:  hmm good feat imo not to many ppl just go and beat the x-men like he did lol "
He didn't anything really special. They were fighting one-on-one witohut any tactic. And their big guns were taken by PIS (Dust and Darwin).He didn't faced Iceman and Shadowcat almost defeated him by herself.
 
@Mord McCleaver said:
" @TheFlash4740:  He K.O'ed Sentry and took the full force of his power. It was a cool fight, but probably more than Hulk should have been able to take IMO. Still an impressive feat. "

PIS. Sentry was never that weak and he didn't used his speed in full against Hulk.
Avatar image for deathshead2
#27 Posted by DeathsHead2 (1739 posts) - - Show Bio
@awesomex: 
 
QFT. 
 
Colossus, Thing, and Ares, with prep, should win.  Hulk is way over done.  Shame, Hulk and Wolverine suffer from the same issues.  USE to be two of my favorites too... 
 
Avatar image for cosmoman
#28 Edited by cosmoman (487 posts) - - Show Bio

@barelyaverage1 said:

Ultimate Colossus who is much stronger than 616 and is Gay

An Enraged Thing

And Ares who is in front of his son

With an hour of prep

VS World War Hulk

Wut?
Wut?

On topic: Ult Colossus is quite a brick (30,000 tons while under water) , I think him and Thing could hold Hulk off while Ares gets in place for the Decap. Ares with prep is a scary thought.

Avatar image for underfire47
#29 Posted by Underfire47 (274 posts) - - Show Bio

@cosmoman said:
@barelyaverage1 said:

Ultimate Colossus who is much stronger than 616 and is Gay

An Enraged Thing

And Ares who is in front of his son

With an hour of prep

VS World War Hulk

Wut?
Wut?

On topic: Ult Colossus is quite a brick (30,000 tons while under water) , I think him and Thing could hold Hulk off while Ares gets in place for the Decap. Ares with prep is a scary thought.

The idea that a 30 000 tonner can hold WWH is quite hilarious to me, considering a weakened Green Scare has overpowered planetary forces.

Anyway WWH one-shot Thing, he also one-shot Ares with a backhand and bent 616 Colossus into scrap metal, there is nothing this team can do to put down WWH, Hulk has survived decapitation and his damage soak during WWH allowed him to survive getting his insides completely destroyed as well as willing himself back to life after getting depowered to Grey Hulk and having his neck snapped.

Avatar image for cosmoman
#30 Edited by cosmoman (487 posts) - - Show Bio

@underfire47 said:
@cosmoman said:
@barelyaverage1 said:

Ultimate Colossus who is much stronger than 616 and is Gay

An Enraged Thing

And Ares who is in front of his son

With an hour of prep

VS World War Hulk

Wut?
Wut?

On topic: Ult Colossus is quite a brick (30,000 tons while under water) , I think him and Thing could hold Hulk off while Ares gets in place for the Decap. Ares with prep is a scary thought.

The idea that a 30 000 tonner can hold WWH is quite hilarious to me, considering a weakened Green Scare has overpowered planetary forces.

Anyway WWH one-shot Thing, he also one-shot Ares with a backhand and bent 616 Colossus into scrap metal, there is nothing this team can do to put down WWH, Hulk has survived decapitation and his damage soak during WWH allowed him to survive getting his insides completely destroyed as well as willing himself back to life after getting depowered to Grey Hulk and having his neck snapped.

Then you clearly don't know the 30,000 tonner i'm referring to. Ult colossus has crushed diamond between his fingertips he's so durable and can replicate defeating most of the people WWH did (excluding higher end's like Juggs/Sentry/Herc). Also, he lifted that sub while it was at the bottom of the Ocean.

WWH was never decapitated from what I recall, scan? Because that should work in giving team the win.

Avatar image for shadowrazer24
#31 Posted by ShadowRazer24 (909 posts) - - Show Bio

thing solos

Avatar image for underfire47
#32 Posted by Underfire47 (274 posts) - - Show Bio

@cosmoman said:
@underfire47 said:
@cosmoman said:
@barelyaverage1 said:

Ultimate Colossus who is much stronger than 616 and is Gay

An Enraged Thing

And Ares who is in front of his son

With an hour of prep

VS World War Hulk

Wut?
Wut?

On topic: Ult Colossus is quite a brick (30,000 tons while under water) , I think him and Thing could hold Hulk off while Ares gets in place for the Decap. Ares with prep is a scary thought.

The idea that a 30 000 tonner can hold WWH is quite hilarious to me, considering a weakened Green Scare has overpowered planetary forces.

Anyway WWH one-shot Thing, he also one-shot Ares with a backhand and bent 616 Colossus into scrap metal, there is nothing this team can do to put down WWH, Hulk has survived decapitation and his damage soak during WWH allowed him to survive getting his insides completely destroyed as well as willing himself back to life after getting depowered to Grey Hulk and having his neck snapped.

Then you clearly don't know the 30,000 tonner i'm referring to. Ult colossus has crushed diamond between his fingertips he's so durable and can replicate defeating most of the people WWH did (excluding higher end's like Juggs/Sentry/Herc). Also, he lifted that sub while it was at the bottom of the Ocean.

WWH was never decapitated from what I recall, scan? Because that should work in giving team the win.

Not only has Hull crushed diamonds many times, he has crushed even adamantium between his fintgertips. He couldn't defeat them as easily and he couldn't defeat let alone survive against guys like ZomStrange and other more powerful ones. Wow a sub at the bottom of the ocean? That's totally more impressive than a guy that pulled a planet 1.3 times bigger than Earth back together WHILE WEAKENED.

WWH wasn't, but weaker versions of the Hulk have been, so unless the OP specifies that we should only use WWH, there is no reason to exclude feats from weaker versions.

You are literally trying to argue an ant beating a elephant here, a 30 000 tonner is a joke to WWH.

Avatar image for cosmoman
#33 Posted by cosmoman (487 posts) - - Show Bio

Not only has Hull crushed diamonds many times, he has crushed even adamantium between his fintgertips. He couldn't defeat them as easily and he couldn't defeat let alone survive against guys like ZomStrange and other more powerful ones. Wow a sub at the bottom of the ocean? That's totally more impressive than a guy that pulled a planet 1.3 times bigger than Earth back together WHILE WEAKENED.

WWH wasn't, but weaker versions of the Hulk have been, so unless the OP specifies that we should only use WWH, there is no reason to exclude feats from weaker versions.

You are literally trying to argue an ant beating a elephant here, a 30 000 tonner is a joke to WWH.

You state those high balls as if Hulk doesn't regularly go toe to toe with individuals MUCH less than 500Tons. Abomination, The professor, Wendigo's, I could go on.

WWH could not bend adamantium from what i remember and he's not putting away Ult Colossus in a few strikes:

  • Sacns of Hulk crushing Diamond?
  • Scans of Hulk surviving Decap?

Decap for the win from team.

Avatar image for underfire47
#34 Edited by Underfire47 (274 posts) - - Show Bio

@cosmoman said:
@underfire47 said:

Not only has Hull crushed diamonds many times, he has crushed even adamantium between his fintgertips. He couldn't defeat them as easily and he couldn't defeat let alone survive against guys like ZomStrange and other more powerful ones. Wow a sub at the bottom of the ocean? That's totally more impressive than a guy that pulled a planet 1.3 times bigger than Earth back together WHILE WEAKENED.

WWH wasn't, but weaker versions of the Hulk have been, so unless the OP specifies that we should only use WWH, there is no reason to exclude feats from weaker versions.

You are literally trying to argue an ant beating a elephant here, a 30 000 tonner is a joke to WWH.

You state those high balls as if Hulk doesn't regularly go toe to toe with individuals MUCH less than 500Tons. Abomination, The professor, Wendigo's, I could go on.

WWH could not bend adamantium from what i remember and he's not putting away Ult Colossus in a few strikes:

  • Sacns of Hulk crushing Diamond?
  • Scans of Hulk surviving Decap?

Decap for the win from team.

This is WWH, not regular Hulk. WWH literally already one-shot guys like Thing, Ares, bent 616 Colossus arms into a pretzel, pulled a planet back together, etc... Also where the hell do you get the idea that Abomination, professor?(who the hell is that) and wendigo are like 500 tonners? None of the official handbooks state this about them and i have never seen it be mentioned in comics either.

WWH never tried to bend any adamantium to beginwith, regular, weaker versions of Hulk have bent adamantium on multiple occasions. He is literally one-shotting Ult Colossus here, how can he ever hope to stand against a guy that has literally overpowered multiple characters far stronger than Ult Colossus at the same time and is the only character in Marvel that has ever thanks to pure physical strength alone managed to briefly stop an unstoppable Juggernaut momentum.

Breaks out of diamond casing

No Caption Provided

Crushes adamantium

No Caption Provided

Survives decap

Gallery image 1Gallery image 2

Again

Gallery image 1Gallery image 2Gallery image 3Gallery image 4Gallery image 5

There is nothing this team can do to win against him, he already literally one-shot all of them here except Ult Colossus obviously since he belongs to a different universe but he literally fodderized his 616 counterpart.

Avatar image for kevd4wg
#35 Posted by Kevd4wg (14309 posts) - - Show Bio

Thing solos

Avatar image for cosmoman
#36 Edited by cosmoman (487 posts) - - Show Bio

@underfire47 said:

This is WWH, not regular Hulk. WWH literally already one-shot guys like Thing, Ares, bent 616 Colossus arms into a pretzel, pulled a planet back together, etc... Also where the hell do you get the idea that Abomination, professor?(who the hell is that) and wendigo are like 500 tonners? None of the official handbooks state this about them and i have never seen it be mentioned in comics either.

WWH never tried to bend any adamantium to beginwith, regular, weaker versions of Hulk have bent adamantium on multiple occasions. He is literally one-shotting Ult Colossus here, how can he ever hope to stand against a guy that has literally overpowered multiple characters far stronger than Ult Colossus at the same time and is the only character in Marvel that has ever thanks to pure physical strength alone managed to briefly stop an unstoppable Juggernaut momentum.

Breaks out of diamond casing

No Caption Provided

Crushes adamantium

No Caption Provided

Survives decap

Gallery image 1Gallery image 2

Again

Gallery image 1Gallery image 2Gallery image 3Gallery image 4Gallery image 5

There is nothing this team can do to win against him, he already literally one-shot all of them here except Ult Colossus obviously since he belongs to a different universe but he literally fodderized his 616 counterpart.

1). That scan was an alternate version hulk that survived decap not 616. Ergo non-canon. And the other was of immortal Hulk, who does not apply here.

@ The bolded: Seems you can't read. I literally said: ("You state those high balls as if Hulk doesn't regularly go toe to toe with individuals MUCH less than 500Tons.") Meaning Abomb/Doc Samson/Wendigo are all well below 500T yet give Hulk a fight.

2). If that scan is INDEED of a diamond being broken out of, well done. Ult. Colossus has done the same without the struggle. He could definitely hold hulk off.

Avatar image for absolvedofsin
#38 Posted by AbsolvedOfSin (110 posts) - - Show Bio

@cosmoman:

If i can interject since i need to point a few things out

1). That scan was an alternate version hulk that survived decap not 616. Ergo non-canon. And the other was of immortal Hulk, who does not apply here.

That is not an alternate version of Hulk, that was literally 616 Hulk taken from his first 6 issues of existence back in the 60's. Black Widow even explains that he is before the Avengers formed and Hulk even mentions how he beat up Metal Master which is what he did in the first 6 issues of his run and then Widow mentions that if anything happens to this Hulk it could screw with the whole Marvel history

No Caption Provided

This is very much canon.

In fact this very run and Hulk getting his head chopped off was referenced recently in Avengers No Surrender

No Caption Provided

top left corner

Dunno if Immortal Hulk does or doesn't apply here but the creator of Immortal Hulk has stated IH is weaker than Green Scar(WWH), so take that how you will.

Meaning Abomb/Doc Samson/Wendigo are all well below 500T yet give Hulk a fight.

All of the characters you stated are well above 500tons, Abomination has literally caused earthquakes and Wendigo was mentioned to have near Hulk level strength, all of these characters are much stronger than 500 ton, although i am not sure how that matters here since this is WWH who operates on a much higher level, so much so in fact that he wished for characters like Wendigo and Bi-Beast be amped THOUSANDS of times over just so they could be a challenge to him because he was stomping them too easily previously

Gallery image 1Gallery image 2Gallery image 3Gallery image 4Gallery image 5

And Hulk still stomped them, this is a very, very different Hulk to what you are used to.

This Hulk even while weakened and before he received his permanent amp, managed to pull a planet 1.3 times bigger than Earth back together by jumping into it's core and pulling it back as it was falling apart

No Caption Provided

That's a strength feat beyond anything Colossus can do, speaking of Ultimate Colossus, when did he actually break any diamonds? All i remember with him and diamonds is a statement.

No Caption Provided

When did he actually break any diamonds? Also adamantium >>>>>>>>>>>>> diamonds, something Hulk has broken or bent on multiple occasions.

If that scan is INDEED of a diamond being broken out of, well done. Ult. Colossus has done the same without the struggle. He could definitely hold hulk off.

When? When has Ult. Colossus broken actual diamonds and breaking some diamonds in your hand is not comaprable to literally being encased in one and having to break out your entire body from it. There is no way in a million years Ult. Colossus can hold Hulk off when stronger characters characters like Surfer and Namor have failed to told hold him

No Caption Provided

And Thor and Ironman failed to hold him

Gallery image 1Gallery image 2

And even Hercules, Namor, IronMan and WonderMan together failed to hold him

No Caption Provided

There is even a more recent feat of Immortal Hulk flexing off Jane Thor and Hercules just by flexing his muscles and in the same story Jane and Hercules managed to hold the weight of a planet, but i guess that Hulk doesn't count for some reason.

Anyway friend, there is honestly no chance in hell Ultimate Colossus can hold WWH who was quite a beast and no way this team can win when 2 out of 3 people here have been one-shot by this very Hulk, take care.

Avatar image for 20damon
#39 Posted by 20damon (6585 posts) - - Show Bio

Let's see, Ares got 1 shotted already. Thing got 3 shotted and no sold. 616 Colossus got literally turned into a pile of scrap.

I'm trying to think of a way for Green Scar to lose here but i just can't come up with one.

Avatar image for green_skaar
#40 Posted by green_skaar (13072 posts) - - Show Bio

@20damon said:

Let's see, Ares got 1 shotted already. Thing got 3 shotted and no sold. 616 Colossus got literally turned into a pile of scrap.

I'm trying to think of a way for Green Scar to lose here but i just can't come up with one.

Avatar image for cosmoman
#41 Edited by cosmoman (487 posts) - - Show Bio

@absolvedofsin said:

No Caption Provided

1). This is very much canon.

2). Dunno if Immortal Hulk does or doesn't apply here but the creator of Immortal Hulk has stated IH is weaker than Green Scar(WWH), so take that how you will.

Meaning Abomb/Doc Samson/Wendigo are all well below 500T yet give Hulk a fight.

3). "All of the characters you stated are well above 500tons..."

4). When did he actually break any diamonds? Also adamantium >>>>>>>>>>>>> diamonds, something Hulk has broken or bent on multiple occasions.

1). I can concede that this is canon. Question, it seems there is an alternate Captain America in this timeline.... why? And is Bruce in fighting condition after the decap?

No Caption Provided

2). When did the creator say this? That logic contradicts much of what was shown and implied story wise.

3). None of the Characters i've chosen are ever listed above 500+ Tons. Listed meaning stated by the creators in guidebooks or encyclopdia's or whathaveyou.

4). It was stated never shown, doesn't make it any less legitimate. and have you ever crushed a pecan in between your fingers? Could you punch them though? Exactly.

World war hulk is formidable, but be did not 1 shot anyone harder than Diamond that I know of. If 616 hulk can truly re-heal from decap though he takes it.

Avatar image for absolvedofsin
#42 Posted by AbsolvedOfSin (110 posts) - - Show Bio

@cosmoman: The Captain America is actually from the future, she is what the new Captain America will be eventually in 616. Yea he continued fighting after that.

He agreed with someone making a tweet asking him about it

No Caption Provided

Which honestly is no surprise, Green Scar was much more of a beast than Immortal Hulk, Immortal Hulk is more brutal though and has that immortality and insane healing that no other Hulk has had so far, he can survive being cut into dozens of pieces or being vaporized.

Hulk didn't start out as even a 100 tonner back in the day, same with Thor and many others, over the decades they have evolved much more, in 2008 in particular Hulk got a permanent amp that boosted his strength far above anyone elses

No Caption Provided

This is actually what led into WWH event where Hulk beat up the Avengers, X-men, F4, Sentry, Strange, GR, etc...

A feat became much less valid if it's said than if it's preformed, for instances Beyonder has said that Hulk has infinite strength, Doc Samson, Mad Thinker, etc... have all said the same thing but it's not literally true, Hulk has more strength than just about any other character on his level but he isn't limitless, Leader has said Hulk has power to conquer galaxies, against an overstatement, now when a statement is confirmed like Banner has said that Hulk can easily topple entire planets which he kind of has because he has overpowered planetary weights, than yea a statement becomes fairly valid.

Avatar image for jay_z94
#43 Posted by jay_z94 (8453 posts) - - Show Bio

Thing is angry here so he one-shots.

Avatar image for absolvedofsin
#44 Edited by AbsolvedOfSin (110 posts) - - Show Bio

@jay_z94: Anger doesn't actually boost Thing, it's power of love as seen with Alicia. To Things credit he has been getting better and better lately, he is supposed to fight possessed Thor and the Avengers in an upcoming event. It would be interesting to see how that turns out.

Avatar image for cosmoman
#45 Posted by cosmoman (487 posts) - - Show Bio

1). He agreed with someone making a tweet asking him about it

No Caption Provided

Thank you. Check this out:

1). He never said which one would win, only that one could get stronger naturally vs Absorbing radiation. Immortal hulk could 3-shot, like he did with Star lvl Thor (lest we forget).

2). Those other guys even to this day have never had a clear massive 100+ listing... at least from what I understand. Definitely agree WWH wins!

Avatar image for noone1996
#48 Edited by Noone1996 (13078 posts) - - Show Bio

WWH wrecks. The team has no chance. Ares gets casually and hilariously one-shotted once again.

Online
Avatar image for kalkent
#49 Posted by kalkent (3763 posts) - - Show Bio

@kevd4wg said:

Thing solos

World war hulk already beat his ass.

Avatar image for 20damon
#50 Posted by 20damon (6585 posts) - - Show Bio

@jay_z94:

people are putting far too much emphasis on titles of comic books. hulk has had comic titles such as incredible, indestructible, planet, immortal, etc. it doesnt change the character into anything else. in the future he could have comics titled things such as inevitable, infinite, impenetrable, impossible, etc.

it isnt gonna change the character or turn him into something else or give feats. even savage hulk was nearly indestructible, nearly immortal, nearly impenetrable etc. these titles mean nothing and taking them literally is poor debating

This is the case for most characters, yes. Hulk is different because his personalities literally have different power levels and mindsets and sometimes even different powers altogether.