Me and you vs. Kickass

• I'm 18, 5'6, 165 lbs in lean muscle, and black which should give me a boost (lol jk) .
• I can max out at 250 lbs in bench, and 315 squat.
• I took Taekwondoe for one year when I was 5.
• I'm a basic brawler, having gotten into fights all throughout middle and elementary without losing a single one.
• My weapon of choice for this fight is a katana while you can use any weapon from your house.

We're squaring up with this Cat.

• Kickass is equipped with his two batons
• Fight takes place in a Walmart Parking Lot

We take kick ass 1

Not sure about kick ass 2

Stats:6 foot, 178, athletic, 1 year of judo

Weapon of choice : Wooden baseball bat

I solo using you as a black strap on

We whoop on him

I pick my dad's 9mm handgun, so we win in a stomp.

Bruh, I can't breathe lmao

We stomp

I am 13, can bench 440lbs, I am a black belt in Boxing. We clear.

I'm 32, 6', 250lbs, with a large brawny build. I can bench 310lbs, squat 440lbs. I have a purple belt in Karate and green belt in Taekwondo, with undefined belts in many other styles. I'm a tactical fighter, but I also have many physical disabilities that prevents me from doing certain moves. I don't like using weapons other than my fists. Kick-Ass is a useless combatant whom was lucky against untrained enemies. We clear.

i'm a 7'6 operator. Special forces sniper ranger and sapper qualified, top of my class at air assault and i also was invited to Seal school as a buds instructor, cleared MARSOC and Raiders with ease ( devil dogs aint shit) and air force PJ's look up to me, and their "combat" weatherman are pansys...

So yeah i solo this chump

I also quarterdecked Mattis and showed him what a real knife hand was.

There are no girls on 9gag

Comicvine

@rxdking: Wll I'm guessing would be like very few females in here

Lmao. The stats on people here.

6’1, 204 pounds average body, don’t know exactly my limit but easily more than 150. We can take this chump

I'm a 4th grader who is 5 feet 8 yards of solid muscle. Every morning when I roll out of the slab of beef jerky I use as a bed (expired beef jerky mind you), to warm up my muscles I do 346 ear pull-ups and 14 bicycle kicks while simultaneously singing the Bohemian Rhapsody at the top of my lungs. Then I watch Fox News for an hour, my breakfast being the vast quantity of pure, undiluted knowledge I absorb from Fox News. This strict workout routine with the excellent diet has made me a veritable one-punch man. I can casually bench 145 metric gallons of garlic for Pi(radius)(radius) reps, run faster than a camel and can last 900 laps on the Fitness Gram Pacer test, WHICH IS A MULTI-STAGE AEROBIC CAPACITY TEST THAT PROGRESSIVELY GETS MORE DIFFICULT AS IT CONTINUES. THE 20 METER PACER TEST WILL BEGIN IN 30 SECONDS. LINE UP AT THE START!

Other than my insane physicals, I am also a high functioning sociopath who is a black belt in talk-no jutsu and has memorized the Soviet national anthem in its mother tongue. If I sing that in-tandem with the Bohemian Rhapsody, reality itself gets torn apart and I can one-shot infinite multiversal beings.

I think I can win 8/10, but with you on my team, my chances fall to 3/10 cause you're so bloody useless.

(To be honest, this description is probably more accurate than 80% of the other ones in this thread)

You’re all too buff for this, especially you @thetruthii. Stop showing us macho men up.

@OP I sneak away while you fight. Speed is literally the only thing I have going for me. Swimming and running doesn’t exactly make you the strongest person out there.

Lol does Kickass hit girls?

Im 5.8 135 pounds (solid tho work hard labour since i was 16)

I have a few hunting riffles and a shot gun at home. As i hunt. Im a above avrage shot. Ill take tge shotgun and buck shot.

We win as im sure kick ass will bfr himself upon request

No idea about my weight but I'm six foot and have a long wooden sword [Don't ask why] as my weapon of choice so I stomp.

I kick him in the dick

"What if he gets up"

I kick him in the dick again.

Well... I guess we kick the shit out of him.

(I'm a 5'11 140 pound guy with about 9 (serious) years of h2h training but I don't take it seriously anymore so I could be rusty)

Lol everyone on here has multiple years of combat training and lifts way out of the standard or even athletic standard for their size. I call so much bullshit.

Hmmm scans please.

Lots of people have a few years of combat training so its probably legit, the lifting thing probably is though.

6’0

235

Bench: 375

Squat: 405

Deadlift: 500

Army veteran, infantry

Weapon: I’d probably go with a baseball bat

Or fists

I’d say we’d clown him you sound like you’d make up for what I lack in speed

Breh, you're too small

@x79alx: Well i'm too chubby and would be too ugly for your tastes but i'm not sure if kickass want to fight us humans

@man_of_miracles: Proof?

@creolecuddyis your blackbelt in taekwondo? If so I'm not sure if a year of training when you are 5 will make much of a difference, lol. But if what you are saying about getting into multiple fist fights throughout school and winning is true, that's enough for me to say we could take him, especially if we each have weapons of our own.

I am 2 feet 52 inches.

I am a black belt in taekwondow, karate, king Fu, ju jitsu and all other martial arts forms.

I can bench 372727 kilos easily (that's the highest I've tried)

I have taken part in multiple joint operations around the world. I was the one who delivered the killing shot to bin laden.

I have traveled back twice in time, once to beat Bruce Lee (which was rather easy) and the other time to tank the asteroid that destroyed the dinosaurs (a rather spectacular event I must say).

I have used my superior intellect to transverse to the comic book world and beat Batman who had 29299229 years of prep and the whole justice league to back him.

I have also tanked captain America's bike throw point blank. (I must say the lad can throw I did feel a breeze)

The living Tribunal comes out of the comic books every once in a while to touch my feet and go back.

Every now and then angels drop flowers on me from heaven when I'm out for a run.

If we teamed up together I don't think we can take on kick ass tho.

Red mist we maaaayyybe have a tiny tiny chance.

But kick ass? No chance at all.

5'8 and 154 lbs. I've got some minor kickboxing and jujutsu experience, but I do calisthenics instead of lifting anything.

Kickass fights fodder iirc I don't see why he'd be an issue tbh..

Kickass straight up shrugged off being beat to shit by 3 guys armed witt batons, bats, and brass knuckles. You or anyone else’s in this thread isn’t packing the power to take him down.

@x79alx: That's fair I even have a few years of wrestling/karate when I was a kid. (lots of supposed black belts on this site apparently)

But the lifting numbers people are posting are like 90th percentile or higher for their weight lol.

@dude_on_a_phone: Proof of what? I'm just saying that the lifting amounts people are posting are like 90th percentile and above for their given size. A bit hard to believe that is true when pretty much everyone posting is claiming to lift an absurd amount of weight.

Nah fam.

You get wrecked for being you. Any bluebelt in bjj or judo taps him.

There is a very exposable weakness in this armbar. He puts his leg across the arm instead of biting down on the head. Nothing stopping Hitgirl from sitting right up, stacking, and ending up in side. You can tell from this that his grappling is crap (choreography matters when it comes to martial arts heroes). Hitgirl's too, as no respectable grappler should tap to that. So many things wrong. What kickass does have is near-superhman reflexes and endurance in his second movie. But not enough to defy physics.

@gokluma: You aren't chubby? why would you think that?

You don't even know what my tastes are.

We get beat up, lol

@x79alx: Sorry but could you fight kickass

@gokluma: yes but I wound lose badly to movie 2 kickass while maybe standing a chance against the early version.

@x79alx: Good point since Kickass 2 is a buff up man with good combat skills

@gokluma: I DMed you on the other thing, plz reply :(

bump

@gokluma: but I thought you were a dude?

I solo stomp Kick-Ass from the first film and I haven’t seen the second but I saw some clips a while back and from what I recall he’s improved significantly and he has crazy pain tolerance. You would probably hinder me since you’re all good stats and little skill but you could distract him.

Someone tag BruceRogers so he can be my partner instead.

You solo

@rxdking: You said you are an Operator as in Armed Forces? That is weird because the US Rejects all people over 80 inches tall and last I checked 7 foot 6 is literally 10 inches over that. Also buds is even more restrictive than standard military ops.

@crash_: Did you just say you had a black belt in boxing??? Do you mean Kickboxing?

I'm not saying you are both lying but I don't believe you lol. I love how 90 percent of everyone on this is either 13 and can bench press 400 lbs or is a Black belt in two or three different martial arts or is a nearly 8 foot tall special ops trainer.

I solo, you solo. Kickass, gets his ass kicked. I am black-belt(2nd dan) in Taekwondo, and have won bronze medal in South Asia championship. And I've often gotten into street fights with some bullies in my college(and have beaten them).

I am 20, 6', 85kg, strong build. And I take my nunchaku(definitely won't need them though)

So you're an average Viner?