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#1 Posted by Elijah_C_Washington (4618 posts) - - Show Bio

In one corner, we have Gary "Eggsy" Unwin of Kingsmen, represented by @supremegeneration - and in the other, we have Sterling "Dutchess" Archer, former secret agent, private investigator, and drug dealer, represented by me, Elijah.

Rules of Engagement

  • Eggsy is equipped with his standard gear and umbrella | Archer has his rampage arsenal and Spymaster.
  • Both combatants are in-character but willing to kill, fighting to the best of their abilities within their normal boundaries.
  • Victory is decided only when one combatant successfully knocks out, incapacitates, or kills his opponent.
  • Remember to vote based solely on which of us you think presented the better argument and debated better overall.

Setting | Location & Starting Distance

Eggsy and Archer start 50 feet apart in plain sight of each other at a large, vacant shipyard.

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#2 Edited by Elijah_C_Washington (4618 posts) - - Show Bio


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Sterling Archer; to some, he is the world's most dangerous secret agent and to others, unbearably obnoxious. He has fought the KGB, FBI, cartels, warlords, pirates, space pirates, alligators, underwater terrorists, and superhuman cyborgs, yet he always managed to come out on top. Eggsy might technically be better at his job if only due to Archer's constant reckless and flippant behavior, but in a straight fight I know who I'm backing.

Ranged Phase | Equipment + Accuracy

With Sterling's previously agreed upon load-out as listed in the OP, I believe the gap in gear is closer than if it were, say, standard gear for each. The words "rampage arsenal" are no doubt confusing to anyone who hasn't seen Archer which includes my opponent, so allow me to show what I am referring to.

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Archer is bringing to this fight two different knives, one of which hidden in his belt buckle; three separate handguns located on his ankle, waist, and hidden in his left sleeve with a spring-loaded contraption for fast and unexpected deployment; a compact rifle and a sawed-off shotgun; extra magazines; and who could forget the grenades. Furthermore, Archer will have his Omicron Spymaster readily available once the fight makes its way into close quarters, which we can confirm carries easily deployed knockout gas as well as a garrote he's already proven himself quite adept with, choking a pirate out in a few seconds.

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Eggsy has the more high-tech equipment, but in the right hands - in this case, Archer's own - this more conventional weaponry will prove equally dangerous. This is especially the case in the light of the starting distance being fifty feet, whereas only one of these characters has proven their accuracy from this range: Archer. With only a handgun, he landed a head-shot on the driver of a moving car that had already made its way far down the block.

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Archer will have the upper-hand in the ranged phase. He's a better shot, and while Eggsy is more maneuverable, he's not necessarily a bullet-timer and it isn't to an extent where he would be able to avoid every single bullet Archer fires. True, Eggsy can use the umbrella to block bullets, but the umbrella was busted by a sniper rifle which Archer knows how to use and carries in this scenario. It was even said he'd have qualified as a counter-sniper had he shown up for the exam.

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When Eggsy gets within close range Sterling can use the spread of his sawed-off shotgun to tag him anywhere the umbrella doesn't cover as it only protects his entire body when crouched. Additionally, Eggsy can't run with the umbrella especially if he crouches, giving Archer time to assemble and fire his rifle repeatedly and destroy the umbrella. Not to mention, he still has at least one fragmentation grenade for which the umbrella has no feats to suggest it could withstand.

In Close Quarters | Endurance + Skill

If a fresh Eggsy fought Archer in close quarters I would say it's a good fight, but if he's previously wounded as I am arguing he will be, then I think Sterling would win fairly decisively. For one, there's a large gap in endurance - Eggsy doesn't have the feats to suggest he could fight effectively through one gunshot wound, meanwhile, Archer has been shot upwards of thirty times throughout the series. Unrelated to bullet holes, when Lana intentionally crashed her car and nearly broke all of Sterling's bones in the process, he still casually continued their conversation despite his appendages being bent in several ways.

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Sterling has the more well-documented level of hand-to-hand as well. He's trained specifically in Krav Maga, and it definitely shows. While suffering from retrograde amnesia, he still brutally killed a four-man KGB hit-squad with nothing but ordinary kitchen supplies, the environment, and their own weapons.

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I would say there's a chance Eggsy could replicate this feat, but I doubt he has the experience to do it off raw muscle memory as Archer did. This shows he is both skilled in hand-to-hand and highly adaptable - two qualities that will come in handy against Eggsy and his unpredictable gear. Sterling's hand-to-hand and improvisation feats, however, do not stop there; for instance, he was capable of stomping a Korean agent only a second or so after he one-shotted Lana.

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For perspective, when amnesiac, as he was against the KGB hit-squad, Lana one-shotted Archer, whereas with his memory intact he stomped a man who in turn one-shotted Lana. Granted, Eggsy is still a better gunfighter in close quarters, but someone highly skilled in Krav Maga such as Archer would be especially good at disarming people. So far, I've supported this claim with his fight with the KGB, but there will likely be more examples in subsequent posts. Lastly, I plan on proving the gap in gunfighting talent isn't very large in the first place, if not placed squarely on Archer's side if and when Eggsy takes a bullet.

Conclusion | Initial Thoughts

While I believe Eggsy can close the distance, Archer still has the upper-hand at a fifty-foot range; I doubt he can do so without being shot at least once by Sterling. Because Eggsy's endurance is nowhere near the same level of Archer's, I have put forth the argument Sterling will then dominate him in close quarters by way of his own impressive arsenal, skill, and adaptability, not to mention his far superior endurance.

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I have substantiated all the above claims with nothing less than raw feats; feats that, by the way, you can check the exact season and episode number of by copy/pasting each individual URL in a new tab. Anyway, it is now your turn and I look forward to hearing what you have to say. I feel this is going to be a wildly entertaining CaV both for myself and the voters due to the two of us using such evenly matched, awesome characters.

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#3 Posted by deactivated-5a90ca82ccb5f (6669 posts) - - Show Bio

Mismatch but T4V anyway

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#4 Posted by Eto (5307 posts) - - Show Bio


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#5 Posted by blackpantherisb (7259 posts) - - Show Bio


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#6 Posted by kotetsu454 (1086 posts) - - Show Bio


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#7 Posted by HigherPower (12392 posts) - - Show Bio

T4V. Never anticipated a match up as much as this.

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#8 Posted by Elijah_C_Washington (4618 posts) - - Show Bio
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