Deadpool Quotes

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#1  Edited By The Raptor

List your favorite Deadpool Quotes:
 
"Now, GIMME YOUR MILK MONEY!!!"

"A-Poc-Key-Lips. I think I found my new favorite word!"

DP:"I am sorry, but I will not help you when our countries are at war!"

French client:"We aren't at war."

DP:"We aren't? Oh."

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Mr. Wilson

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#2  Edited By Mr. Wilson

"Ah, go web your zipper closed."

Weasel: "I'll never look at a Stegosaurus the same way!" Deadpool: "You looked at it in some way before?"

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#3  Edited By Brainiac

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Mr. Wilson

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#4  Edited By Mr. Wilson

Weasel: "You spelled 'Hi Weasel with his intestines."

Deadpool: "I knew you'd look."

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deadpool1fanjon

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#5  Edited By deadpool1fanjon

Dp: The day my father Odin banished me from Asgard, I was bitten by a vampire and had radioactive waste dumped into my eyes. To make matters worse, my mutant ability to control weather activated just as I was hit by a blast of gamma radiation. Nah, actually, I got this way by volunteering for the Weapon X program. They promised to cure my cancer. And they cured it all right, by giving me an outrageous healing factor. Then they labeled me psychotic and tossed me into a prison lab. So I escaped and became what some people might call a 'mercenary'. I prefer the title 'cleaner of the gene pool'. And I've made a lot of good friends along the way: like Arcade. He's always sending me to his amusement park.

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deadpool1fanjon

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#6  Edited By deadpool1fanjon
: HELLO, Deadpool. Ready for a fun filled day in Murderworld?
: Yup. I've got my sunscreen on and I've taken my motion sickness pills so bring on the rides!
: Oh, I don't think you understand. You're going to die here.
: I know! Carnivals always slay me.
: No. You are going to physically die... as in stop breathing. You will cease to exist. 
: Riiiiiight... So do you have bumper cars here?
Arcade: Arrrgh!
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xXDeadpoolXx

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#7  Edited By xXDeadpoolXx

"My common sense is tingling."

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mkdeadpool

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#8  Edited By mkdeadpool

Dark spiderman- do the girls actually go for your insane babble
deadpool-about as much as your attempts at self deprecating humour
spidey-so then it doesn't work
deadpool-no not at all but i found an online dating service that is really good
spidey- cool whats it called
arcade- will you please get busy and destroy him spiderman
spidey-oh yeah sorry guess i have to kill you now
deadpool- okay but im going to really miss me when im gone

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Slinger

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#9  Edited By Slinger
Deadpool(to "Daredevil): See how you like it when I smack you with an interspatial distorter that will temporarily phase your brain into Dimension X!

"Daredevil": This is an ipod with a piece of masking tape attached to it.

Deadpool: It is...Ah, but for a second there, you were really worried!

"Daredevil": Idiot.
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deadpool1fanjon

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#10  Edited By deadpool1fanjon
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T.J. Magnum

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#11  Edited By T.J. Magnum
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deadpool1fanjon

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#12  Edited By deadpool1fanjon
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#13  Edited By T.J. Magnum
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#14  Edited By deadpool1fanjon
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#15  Edited By T.J. Magnum
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#16  Edited By deadpool1fanjon

DP-Blasphemy all fights are necessary

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#17  Edited By The Amazing

Did you ever think that to the nuts inside, the peanut is like their whole universe?  I mean they could fall in love and never be together because the shell separates them.  So close, but their cruel prison --the shell-- keeps them apart.  It's so sad!  How they must hate their cruel master, The Shell, uncaring despoiler of legume romance! And then one day, They're free!  And it's like, "let's dance, you hot salty nut!"

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deadpool1fanjon

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#18  Edited By deadpool1fanjon

disgusting nut porn is what it is

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Zenma

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#19  Edited By Zenma

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#20  Edited By iSHADOW
caption




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#21  Edited By Zenma

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#22  Edited By Sub - Zero

O.o

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deadpool1fanjon

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#23  Edited By deadpool1fanjon
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#24  Edited By Colt
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#25  Edited By Bookman

Sweet do I get a new car too?

Now I'm better at whatever Wolverine does!

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#26  Edited By Zenma

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#27  Edited By Zenma

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#28  Edited By deadpool1fanjon

DP:look at Bob chasing after that triceratops. he is so brave.

Dp: these things are like my dream arch nemesisisis or is it arch-Nemesisisi I can pummel, gouge, eviscerate and mutilate and they'll keep coming.

DP: Hey that my favorite gun, See why it is my favorite.

DP: I seem to have found another weakness LOBOTOMIZING them.

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mkdeadpool

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#29  Edited By mkdeadpool

DP: I never miss with the sheep gun!

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deadpool1fanjon

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#30  Edited By deadpool1fanjon

DP-i think i am going deaf no wait there was a knife in my ears how come no one told me now i just feel silly

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#31  Edited By Colt
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#32  Edited By deadpool1fanjon

Dp-Wait a minute we aren't gonna fight doom no one told me that i want lawyer i want my mommy i want my lawyers mommy
Dp-death oh yeah she was a heck fine girl she got a little clingy.
Dp-look at doctor doom he is respected because he got big scary cape.
Dp-lets wear elbow pads and shin guards with spikes coming out of them.

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#33  Edited By Colt
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#34  Edited By deadpool1fanjon

DP-I play a pretty mean bagpipe

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#35  Edited By Colt
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#36  Edited By Mr. Wilson
Classic.

                                                                        

                                                                                  
                                                                                      








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deadpool1fanjon

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#37  Edited By deadpool1fanjon

DP-for the love of bill gates this thing is adorable.
DP-we need to get wade jr. here to cable.

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#38  Edited By Colt
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#39  Edited By Mr. Wilson
deadpool#1fanjon said:
"DP-for the love of bill gates this thing is adorable.
DP-we need to get wade jr. here to cable."

lol
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deadpool1fanjon

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#40  Edited By deadpool1fanjon

Dp-can i be part of the x-men that kitty girl is getting totally ripe
Deadpool: Hey, did I enter the side show tent? 'Cause you look like the dog faced boy.
Dark Spider-Man: Oh, you are a wit, Deadpool... or at least half of one. Tell me, do the chicks go for your insane babble?
Deadpool: About as much as they go for your attempts at self-deprecating humor.
Dark Spider-Man: So then it doesn't work

Deadpool: Whatever happens, remember to protect me.
Deadpool: [about Weasel] Oh, yeah, he's totally trustworthy! Except where money's involved. He would sell his granny's walking cane for a buck. In fact, I bought his granny's walking cane for a buck

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#41  Edited By Mr. Wilson
deadpool#1fanjon said:
"Dp-can i be part of the x-men that kitty girl is getting totally ripe
Deadpool: Hey, did I enter the side show tent? 'Cause you look like the dog faced boy.
Dark Spider-Man: Oh, you are a wit, Deadpool... or at least half of one. Tell me, do the chicks go for your insane babble?
Deadpool: About as much as they go for your attempts at self-deprecating humor.
Dark Spider-Man: So then it doesn't work

Deadpool: Whatever happens, remember to protect me.
Deadpool: [about Weasel] Oh, yeah, he's totally trustworthy! Except where money's involved. He would sell his granny's walking cane for a buck. In fact, I bought his granny's walking cane for a buck"
Ultimate Alliance was great!!!!!!!!!!!

The Black Widow conversation is classic!
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#42  Edited By Colt
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#43  Edited By Mr. Wilson

lol

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deadpool1fanjon

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#44  Edited By deadpool1fanjon

Dp-now where is the code to shut off the bomb oh wait now i remember i wrote on my hand.
(Sees hand on ground) there u are

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#45  Edited By Mr. Wilson
deadpool#1fanjon said:
"

Dp-now where is the code to shut off the bomb oh wait now i remember i wrote on my hand.
(Sees hand on ground) there u are

"
lol
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#46  Edited By Colt
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deadpool1fanjon

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#47  Edited By deadpool1fanjon

Domino-you just shot my cat
Dp-you mean that wasnt the venom symbiote on another new host.

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#48  Edited By Colt
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#49  Edited By deadpool1fanjon

Dp-spidey i am digging the new threads.
Spidey-thanks i thought it would set the mood.
Dp-i got the perfect name for ya
THE DARK KNIGHT
wait that terrible

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#50  Edited By Colt
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