Character » Clint appears in 27 issues.

    The most joyfully violent member of the Adolescent Radioactive Black Belt Hamsters.

    Short summary describing this character.

    Clint last edited by KillerZ on 06/01/22 12:17PM View full history


    Clint shoots a rare bird
    Clint shoots a rare bird

    Clint is one of the Adolescent Radioactive Black Belt Hamsters, along with his brothers Chuck, Bruce, and Jackie. They are all anthropomorphic and larger than normal hamsters. However, Clint stands out from the others in several ways. He wears punk sunglasses and a razor-blade earring, and sports a mohawk. He usually fights with guns instead of traditional martial arts weapons. He is naturally violent and a self-indulgent partier.

    Character Development

    Original and 3-D series

    Clint and the others are originally mutated in the process of destroying a cloud of cosmic radioactive Jello for NASA. They are later trained in the martial arts by Tibetan monks.

    Clint explains the decision to destroy the Statue of Liberty
    Clint explains the decision to destroy the Statue of Liberty

    When they return to the outside world, they beat up a drug dealer and steal his money. Then they defeat a group of hijackers on a plane. Clint shoots one of the hijackers, who is dressed as a nun, establishing his general lack of restraint.

    They land as heroes, but they almost immediately lose this status as they get into a variety of scrapes in New York. Clint shoots a mugger with a flare gun, then goes to a club with Jackie and Bruce. There, Clint electrocutes Jackie to help him calm down and learn how to socialize. Later, they go on a moralistic tear throughout the city, destroying anything they deem immoral, including the Statue of Liberty, which they think was a giant half-naked woman.

    They are caught by the police, and cause havoc as they are processed into prison. The prison barber tries to shave Clint's mohawk, but it is too strong, and breaks the razor instead. They start a food fight in the mess hall, and eventually break out. They meet up with Chuck and flee the state.

    They are playing video games in a mall, but Clint gets fed up with the game and shoots it with his pistol. The noise attracts a bully, and they get in a fight. Clint tries to throw Jackie at him like an X-Men "fastball special," but misses, and tosses him through a game instead, almost electrocuting him again. Then Clint tries to beat him up with a giant salami, but the bully beats him up instead. Chuck finally takes out the bully. A professional wrestling promoter, Vincent DeLuxe, saw the fight and signs them up to fight the world champion Mighty Midgets as a tag team. The Hamsters became famous and are all over TV. Finally the fight starts. However, the Midgets couldn't get to the arena on time, so they have to wrestle four huge guys instead. The Hamsters manage to win, and get DeLuxe to give them $5 million each because of the mix-up. Clint buys his own nuclear missile with the money.

    Driving an RV, they end up at a toy store, where Jackie wants to buy the new hot toy, Flower Garden Folks dolls. Clint gets one too--a more "mature" version that plays strip poker. However, the dolls eventually go crazy and try to kill everyone. The Hamsters manage to destroy the dolls and rescue their maker.

    They drive across country and stop in a rural area. Jackie runs off, thinking he is a WWI Flying Ace, and Bruce, Clint, and Chuck get into trouble in a convenience store (Clint insists on getting some beer in the middle of the night and breaks in). They are arrested, and then they are waylaid by the C.C.C., or Coo Clucks Clan, a religious/racist cult who worships Colonel Sanders and dresses up like chickens. They prepare to cook the hamsters over a cauldron.

    Meanwhile Jackie runs into the Heap, who helps him find the others (although they destroy the RV on the way). With the help of the Heap, they quickly route the C.C.C. and escape.

    They leave the Heap. They decide to go to Dizzyworld. The P.L.O. has been released from jail on condition of finding and killing the Hamsters. On the bus, Clint meets up with a punk woman he knew before, Randi. They bond and make out. The police try to waylay the Hamsters on the bus on the way to Dizzyworld, but pretend to be dogs with Randi's help. They arrive at Dizzyland, where the crass commercialism forces Clint to beat up Rickey Rat. They then run into the P.L.O., who has been tipped off about their destination.

    Clint ends up on a party boat
    Clint ends up on a party boat

    Clint and the others fight against the villains, but have a hard time until Captain Tree and Bush Boy arrive and save the day by sacrificing themselves in the act of killing the P.L.O.

    The Hamsters take a vacation in Miami, where they run into a toe-sucking monster. The Hamsters retreat in one of Bruce's Ferraris, and eventually end up falling into a whirlpool while battling the Toe-Jam Monster. The whirlpool sucks then down into the lair of the villain Infidel Castro. Clint is put in a room with a flying disc bristling with knives. It tries to kill him but he blasts it with eye beams, like Cyclops. Clint, Jackie, and Chuck are reunited after their own individual challenges, but find Bruce too late--Castro kills Bruce with a harpoon. The other Hamsters are stuck in an undersea base and try to check Bruce's body in its hospital, but he seems to be gone. They end up having to leave his body behind as the base's self-destruct mechanism goes off, and they barely escape in some sea sleds. However, the explosion separates them, and at the end of the original series, they are all left in separate situations. Clint, luckily, is rescued by a Mafia party boat, and seems content with his prospects.

    Clint: The Hamster Triumphant Mini-Series

    Clint is the answer to the monks' prophecy
    Clint is the answer to the monks' prophecy

    At some point in the past, possibly before the Hamsters ever left the monastery, Clint goes on a solo adventure. He is frustrated about hanging out all the time and not doing anything. He even challengs his teacher, Master Lock, to a fight, and beats him in one punch. He confronts the other monks, looking for something to do, and they send him on a mission to defeat the Queenpin, a transvestite Thai crime lord who had defeated 50 of the monks' previous apprentices. The Queenpin, is, obviously, a parody of the Kingpin.

    Clint goes to Bangkok and tries to get information on the Queenpin, killing most of the people he interrogates. Finally he is knocked out from behind by two of the Queenpin's flunkies, and put in a dungeon. There he finds three mice who looked like the Three Stooges. He tries to convince them to help him, but only Curly will do it. They escape together.

    Clint dresses up in a ninja outfit and infiltrates the Queenpin's highrise in the city. Attacked by a robot dog, he throws it out of a window. Then he defeats numerous henchmen, including sumo wrestlers, gunmen, and martial artists, without breaking a sweat. At one point, when he is hit by a throwing star, he pulls it out of his chest and uses it to kill the person who threw it at him. He is also able to deflect other throwing stars with his sword. Finally he and Curly find the Queenpin escaping in a helicopter. Curly jumps on the Queenpin, but she tosses him into the rotors, killing him. Clint, who had become good friends with the mouse, vows revenge, and uses a crossbow to attach a line onto the helicopter, trailing behind it as it flies across the city.

    The Queenpin tries to throw him off, smashing him through the windows of a building, but Clint keeps his grip. Finally she cuts the rope and he falls, but lands on a plane being piloted by A.J. Brillo, who happens to have his own gripes against the Queenpin. They continue to attack the Queenpin's chopper from Brillo's plane, but she escapes. They crash into the water, but are OK. They go up the river to the Queenpin's compound (this whole section is a parody of Apocalypse Now). They fight their way in, and Clint shoots at the Queenpin point-blank--but his gun malfunctions.

    He asks A.J. for his gun, but instead A.J. double-crosses him and knocks him out. (He wanted the Queenpin to pay off his debts.) Clint manages to escape. The Queenpin grabs him from behind, however, and breaks his wrist. Clint bites him and runs off into the jungle. He grabs a boat to make a getaway, but the Queenpin follows in her chopper. Clint dives out and his boat hits a log, knocking it in the air and destroying the chopper, with the Queenpin in it. Having accomplished his mission, Clint returns to the monastery.

    2008 Series

    The 2008 series retcons much of the last issues of the original series. It simultaneously explains the Infidel Castro arc, and Bruce's death, as having been both a dream and having taken place in an alternate dimension. Whatever happened, the new series starts off with five new Hamsters ( Lucy, Jean-Claude, Steven, Arnold, and Rock) constituting an all-new team, and with the original four split apart--although in a different way, and for different reasons, than the split seen at the end of the original series.

    The series starts off with the invasion of the monastery by a villain known as Genghis Khann. All of the new Hamsters are killed or captured trying to defend it except Lucy, who escapes and manages to reach Master Lock. Lock then contacts Jackie, who has been living with a group of samurai and mystics underneath Mount Fuji. Jackie has been training intensely, and misses his brothers, so when Lock lies to him and tells him they're all waiting for him so they can all recapture the monastery, Jackie is glad to come.

    Jackie later finds Bruce and Chuck, who have been hunting Chupacabras in Texas together for years. In contrast to Jackie, they are now overweight and out of shape. Jackie is glad to see them, however, and they go off with Lucy to find Clint.

    Meanwhile, Khann has been working on a secret plan. He somehow resurrected some of the new team of Hamsters and brainwashed them into working for him. He finds a computer room under the monastery which is tracking a cloud of cosmic Jell-o, just like the one that first mutated the original Hamsters. Then he and the zombie Hamsters catch Master Lock and get the codes to use the computer room.

    Clint discusses macroecomonic theory
    Clint discusses macroecomonic theory

    Clint now lives a life almost opposite to the one he used to lead. He works in a pawn shop with an annoying (and secret animal-sex obsessive) neighbor named Richard. He likes soft rock and reads about macro-economics in the newspaper. Even worse, he no longer wears his sunglasses, and styles his hair in a floppy, yuppie, center-part haircut. He is also married to a human wife, Martha, and has two step-children, Spencer and Hepburn. They are all disgusting and nasty, and treat him terribly. He never stands up for himself, and seems to be in complete denial about his former life. It turns out that he has never even consummated his marriage after seven years. The one hint as to his old self is that he now calls himself Harry Callahan, which was Clint Eastwood's name in Dirty Harry.

    He does keep himself in excellent physical shape, like Jackie and unlike Bruce and Chuck. One night he goes down to his workshop to make a wood project, and is stunned to find that he has made a pistol. He destroys it and cries endlessly to himself, "My name is Harry, my name is Harry..." Clearly he is having difficulty keeping his new persona together.

    Finally, Jackie, Bruce, and Chuck come in to get him on the team again, but he pretends he doesn't recognize them. He is so stuck in his new pathetic life that he can't bring himself to admit that it was ever different. They all talk. It turns out that Clint was in love with Lucy, but she had a relationship with Chuck instead. The affair (which they liken to Yoko and the Beatles) made them all crazy and broke them up. Chuck is still mad at him over the whole thing: his relationship with Lucy only lasted a week, and he blames Clint for that. Bruce, however, understand the need to start over, and gives him a hug.

    Clint thanks Lucy for hitting his wife
    Clint thanks Lucy for hitting his wife

    Clint refuses to understand any of this and kicks them out. Clint's neighbor, Richard, sees the others and invites them in, but traps them in his basement, a la the Gimp in Pulp Fiction. Lucy finally finds Clint and berates his wife, calling him a warrior and a legend. She punches Martha out, and Clint finally wakes up and admits who he really is. Clint goes into his closet and comes out wearing a centurion helmet with a mohawk-like bristle along the top, and carrying a revolver. He's back.

    They break into Richard's basement, shoot the glass cage his brothers are in, and leave Richard to be eaten by his other captive rodents. They all walk out. The brothers are excited and want to set off to save the monastery, but Clint says no--he wants to go back to his human family; as horrible as they might be, they need him, and he has chosen the responsibility to take care of them.

    Without Clint, the others invade the monastery and are caught. Khann brags about his new plan to them, and points out the incoming cloud of space Jell-o. Then, without further explanation, he shoots Master Lock, Jackie, Bruce, Chuck, and Lucy in the head, killing them. It turns out that the cosmic Jell-o is the home for many other Hamsters, who are apparently alien, not mutant, in origin, and Khann uses them to take over the Earth.

    Ten years later, Clint reconsiders. He can't live with himself any more. He breaks into Khann's compound, killing many of the alien hamsters. Wearing his mokawked helmet once again, he kicks down Khann's door, only to find him a bored and bloated mess, watching TV and ready to give up. Clint demands Khann's time machine, so he can go back in time and save his brothers and kill Khann in the past. Khann points out that Clint is standing on it, and sends him back to the past. Nothing changes. Apparently Clint failed. Khann remains the ruler of the world.

    Powers and Abilities

    Clint sharpshoots some nunchucks
    Clint sharpshoots some nunchucks

    Clint is reportedly the best warrior of his brothers, according to the monks who taught them. He was able to take out their teacher, Master Lock, in one hit. He traditionally carries guns, especially a .44 magnum. He also often uses machine guns and explosives. He has also used swords, throwing stars, and other standard hand weapons to great effect.

    His sunglasses can see in infra-red. He was once able to shoot an energy blast out of his glasses, like Cyclops.

    While Clint is out of practice in the future, he stays in great shape, and when necessary, he is still able to wreak havoc and shoot as well as he ever could. When he finally decides to attack Khann, he kills numerous alien hamsters, who are presumably all enhanced and excellent fighters like the Earth-based Hamsters were.


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