Sally...Freakin'...FLOYD.
I've mentioned to others how superheroes represent the way people ought to be. As such, when a superhero falls, it's a tragedy, heartbreaking, even. Be they killed in battle, murdered by a lover or a villain, dying of a disease or turning to evil, seeing them go down is always kinda gut-wrenching. It's such a bitter, bitter disappointment to see them go. With villains, it's different. I EXPECT them to be...well, jerks. I don't have too many standards for them...well, I have SOME, even EVIL has to have standards, but if they do things that if a superhero did would make me scream "WHAT THE HELL, HERO", I'm not that surprised. The comic event "Salvation Run" said that the difference between a hero and a villain is that a villain is willing to do ANYTHING to survive, whilst a hero will put principles before self-preservation.
So yeah, when villains say or do morally repugnant things, I'm not as dissapointed in their character, unless they USED to be good or have standards. But now we come to someone who was supposed to represent the average man-er, woman. She was supposed to be that "woman on the street". She was someone that those reading the comic series "Civil War" could sympathize with, could stand behind. She was meant, from what Mark Millar, who wrote "Civil War" said, to be taken seriously, the voice of a generation.
And how does Sally Floyd come off? Insulting. As in "Mary In-Sue-Ting".HA-HA-HA. I crack myself up. I hate this character. I hate her. I HATE HER! ANTI-LIFE JUSTIFES MY HATE! ANTI-LIFE JUSTIFES MY HATE! GRAAAAAAH!!!!
So why should we hate her, and thus, this comic? Well...for starters...
http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y31/ngrey651/ReasonsToHateSallyFloyd.jpg
I suppose I should apologize in advance to anyone who LIKES Sally Floyd. Look, I...I honestly didn't start off hating her until she had an interview with Captain America in "Civil War: Frontline #9. Sally tried to make the argument that "war is never about who's right, it's about who's left". And that most of the people who fought for Germany were "patriots fighting for the wrong cause".
Sally, that doesn't change the fact that they were fighting for the WRONG CAUSE. Captain's point stands. The cause which the Pro-Regulation side are fighting for is WRONG. There's an old saying: "Wars aren't won, just survived." Apparently, from the context that she places her remarks in, Sally is claiming that had Hitler won the war the histories would have framed him as being in the right. Which MIGHT be factually true, but nothing to do with actual morals, right and wrong or good and evil. In short, Sally...you fail. Most of the people fighting on the Pro-Regulation side were cape-killers! They got a robotic copy of THOR, the God of Thunder, who saw NO problem with killing someone in the middle of a fight. They FORCED superheroes to work alongside them "or else". So NO, Sally, the soldiers fighting in this war are NOT just "patriots fighting for a wrong cause", many of them are scumbags, soulless machines, or slaves.
And then...comes the moment when she and Phil Urich interview a defeated Cap...
WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!?!?!?!?!?!?
You! Mean! To! Tell! Me! YOU! THINK! YOU! KNOW! MORE! ABOUT! AMERICA! JUST! BECAUSE! YOU! CAN! BEAT! CAP! AT! TRIVIAL PURSUUUUUUUIT?!?
You know what's insulting? It's NOT really about all the people who died. She yells at Captain America saying that "I resent the fact that I ever had to hide in a subway station in the first place. You people set yourself up as some kind of army, but I don't remember voting for you. If I'm gonna pay for an army, they'd better be answerable to me!"
Yeah, cuz the United States army answers to your beck and call 24/7, right, Sally?!? >.<
She is launching a tirade against a man who has, WITHOUT PAY, I remind you, WITHOUT regard for his OWN SAFETY, without demanding any glory or tribute, SAVED THE PLANET MORE TIMES THAN SHE HAS BRUSHED HER TEETH.
Captain America punched out Hitler! Captain America fought to make sure that there WAS an America! and this woman has the SHEER, UNMITIGATED GALL to make the argument that America WANTS the registration act, as though it were something VOTED upon rather than rammed through congress by an amoral billionaire (coughcoughTonyStark'satoolcoughcough) who thought he knew which way the wind blew. Most of all, her argument boils down to...well... "This whole thing is bad because it inconvenienced ME… Thanks for keeping the Skrulls from destroying us, and all, but now you suck because your war hit too close to my home."
BIIIIIIIIIIIITCH!
Sally Floyd, and by extension, the WRITER, completely miss the point of Captain America's embodiment of the ideals of the USA. When she tells him that he's not in touch with the real America any more, she's implicitly stating that she thinks that knowing about Paris Hilton or American Idol is important for a hero in Cap's position. What...a...CROCK. How in the HELL is fighting to protect innocent civilians less important than watching a video on a cat playing the piano?
It gets better, by the way. Throughout "Civil War", it was hinted at time and time again that there was a traitor in the Pro-Regulation side. At the end of "Frontline #11", Ben Urich and Sally Floyd go visit Tony Stark to reveal who he is...
And it's him. Why? Because of the danger the Atlanteans posed.
Maybe I should try and give Paul Jenkins (and by extension, Sally) the benefit of the doubt. Maybe he was trying say something about the way in which the Marvel Universe (and perhaps the real world) has changed. Perhaps people now celebrate mediocrity and reject idealism, maybe people no longer want a figurehead with a strong moral character and an unwavering loyalty to his country, maybe people ultimately get the cynical and corrupt governments that they deserve.
Again, this is a FREAKIN' LOAD. Superheroes exist to embody and exemplify IDEALS. The fault's not in Captain America if this IS the point behind Sally's speech. Captain America doesn't need to discover America, America needs to discover HIM! It NEEDS people with strong moral character, with loyalty and compassion. ALL countries need people like him, all WORLDS need people like him. It does NOT need selfish idiots like Iron Man taking advantage of war the way-it does NOT necessarily NEED Paris Hilton or Youtube. I mean, don't get me wrong, I LIKED "Repo, the Genetic Opera", and I LOVE seeing "Ask A Ninja". But if the choice is between them or truth, justice and the American way, I'm breakin' out my American flag and storming Youtube Headquarters to pull it's plug.
And now...to play you out...a YOUTUBE VIDEO.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ecjNmuuJZOA
Gooood bless Americaaaaa! Laaaaaaaand that I looooooove!
What else is there to say, except that...
Sally Floyd...YOU...FAAAAAAAAAAAAAIL!