RANKED 2nd BY VOTERS IN CHARACTER CREATION CONTEST #70!
|Date||CB 1-Shots||View||Read the...|
|03/21/18||The Greatest Superhero of All Time||(Blog) (Forum)||Disclaimer|
|T||Flirtatious moments of innuendo.|
With all the superhero news you need to know, here's Heroes Tonight! With your hosts Sawyer Picture, and Lotta Questionnés. With Chase Leeds in the field. And now, here's Sawyer Picture.
"Welcome to Heroes Tonight for February 18th, 2018, and you're watching HT in HD!" Sawyer declares with a gleaming smile. "I'm here with the lovely Lotta Questionnés," he adds, panning a hand to his left.
"Thanks, Sawyer," she acknowledges with a huge, equally gleaming smile.
Freebird: It's Playtime!
"And tonight's top stories," Sawyer jumps back in. "Medea Darling, aka Freebird, is back in the news, and not everyone is happy about it. Find out why some are tagging the Winged Woman's social media pictures as 'Spread Eagle.' Hint: It's Playtime!"
"And speaking of wings, the high flying battle with the high powered lawyers has finally come to an end!" Lotta says in an enthusiastic accent as only a Latina can deliver. "Sports company Nike has won out over the goddess Nike! So how is she claiming Victory? Could it have anything to do with Victor Victorious? You bet it could! And only HT has the scoop!"
Sawyer follows with, "The Major Corporation and The Super Corporation have been in an epic merchandising melee for years! And the profits all go to support their corporate sponsored super teams! But what are those numbers really like? And does it get in the way of the heroes' jobs? We'll take you behind the scenes in our exclusive HT Extra!"
Midas: Losing Your Touch?
"And finally," says Lotta, "the Solid Gold Boy Band is back! Midas releases their third album- Midas Well- from the lead singer's Touch of Gold Records label. But why are Midas the group and Midas the Golden Boy of Pop finding a slight tarnish to their reputation over 'Losing Your Touch'- the number one single from their first album?"
Who do you think is The Greatest Superhero of All Time?
"We'll have all of that on this edition of Heroes Tonight," beamed Sawyer. "But first, who do you think is The Greatest Superhero of All Time? That was the subject of last week's poll, and here to break down the answers for you are Chase Leeds and Lotta Questionnés. Lotta?"
Heroes Tonight Top Ten
Now standing on a different set next to a video screen, Lotta says, "Thanks, Sawyer. We asked the question, and you answered! We have tallied your votes for The Greatest Superhero of All Time, and tonight we're going to reveal your answers in our Heroes Tonight Top Ten! Plus, we even caught up with the heroes themselves at last night's annual S-Corp. Superhero Charity Gala to get them to answer the question too!" Lotta turns to the video screen, and the report on the Gala starts rolling.
#10: Cold Hard Cash
"Cooling it in the tenth spot," starts Lotta, "is the Chilliad rap group, Cold Hard Cash. The ice powered Rime and Floe, along with their DJ, Cold Steel, have been cool ever since they got started in the rap game, and that's even without their powers! It probably doesn't hurt that when they got started, Rime was the voice of cartoon rap star Too Nice, aka the ice powered hero Toon Ice. With a huge fan following, Toon Ice made sure that neither Rime nor CHC have ever suffered a chilly reception with fans."
Video now showing Lotta with the rap group, she asks, "Who do you think is the greatest superhero of all time?" before turning the microphone towards them.
Rime leans in to say, "Oh, without a doubt, it has to be the man that took Crayniac out!"
Floe leans against Rime's shoulder and says, "Mike Boom forever, baby! The only man I'd leave this one for! Whooo!"
"Hey!" laughs Rime.
"Doctor Boom for sure, yo," adds Cold Steel.
#9: Mother Lode
"At number nine," says Chase, "it's the daughter of pop star Midas and the Babe Magnet herself, Lodestar. Carrie Load, aka Load, Lode, California as one of the Statesmen, and Golden Dream- the Girl With the Golden Skin!" Her aliases flash beside her picture, each one stricken out in favor of the next one as Chase lists them. "Eventually shunning the limelight for a heavenly light, Miss Load joined a convent after several years as a superhero, and is now popularly known as Mother Lode or Motherlode, depending on where she's seen." Those names also flash onscreen. "She hurls the habit when her super self is needed, and always shows up to superhero charity functions. She's almost as much of a media darling as the Winged Woman herself! She'll definitely always be golden with us!"
In video for the Gala, Chase turns a microphone to Carrie, and asks, "Who do you think is the greatest superhero of all time? Jesus?" he jokes.
Not laughing at all, Carrie answers, "His powers are certainly documented, but he died for our sins; he was our savior, not a superhero."
Chase's smile falters momentarily.
"But to answer your main question," Carrie continues with a reassuring smile, "I think it's someone with very similar qualities. For the sacrifice he made- for the way he laid down his life for all of ours- I have to say Doctor Boom."
"God, I love her," says Lotta. "And speaking of the Winged Woman, Chase, at number eight, it's Medea Darling! She's been on a few different teams over the years- the latest being in service alongside Motherlode as the first Oregon! With the state motto of 'she flies with her own wings,' they'd have been a bunch of loony-birds not to name her as their representative in the Statesmen! Medea, aka Freebird, can't help but be in the spotlight when she sports a pair of natural white wings and knockout beauty that makes her look like an angel! And with an open-backed dress by Nick Etty to make room for her wings, she was certainly looking heavenly on the runway to the Superhero Charity Gala."
Standing beside Medea on the red carpet, Lotta gushes, "Medea, you are looking lovely as always, dah-ling! I love your dress!"
"Oh, thank you," Medea says cheerfully.
"Who do you think is the greatest superhero of all time?" asks Lotta before turning the mic to Freebird.
"I wish I could say Cupid," she pouts, "because he's so darned cute!" She wrinkles her nose at the camera and gives a quick, playful growl. "But I have to say Michael."
"Michael Boom?" Lotta clarifies.
"Yes, of course," coos Medea. "He's keeping us all safe, even now. Hard not to love that," she says, blowing a kiss to the camera as she walks away.
"At number seven," says Chase, "it's Heavyweight! Truly the Champion of the World, on the Day of the Dragon Men, it was Heavyweight whose one-man assault on the Accord mothership finally brought them down- paving the way for Doctor Boom's defeat of the crazed computer mind known as Crayniac who had allied itself with the alien attackers. Heavyweight has pretty much dedicated himself to the city of Detroit, which was lost when the Accord ship came down. He's been the self appointed watchdog for the strange, self-building metropolis of Motor City. Still, he took time to come out for the Gala."
From offscreen of the video, Chase asks, "Who do you think is the greatest superhero of all time?"
"That's not tough at all," answers Heavyweight. "Doctor Eight made a great sacrifice to give us final victory against the Accord. It may yet cost him his life. Who can be greater than that?" He smiles awkwardly as he walks away from the interview, continuing down the runway.
"Burning up the countdown in our next slot is a true hottie," declares Lotta. "He's loud and proud about being a gay superhero, wearing dayglow pink spandex with bright orange and yellow flames around his plunging V-neck shirt! After defeating the homophobic killer archer, Straight Arrow, he's the darling of both the Manhattan hero circuit, and the college club scene. Girls want to be with him, and men... want to be with him! Fire powered Flambé- the self-proclaimed Flaming Homosexual- is coming out in number six!"
"Who do you think is the greatest superhero of all time?" asks Lotta.
"I wish I could say Cupid, because he's just so darned cute!" Pausing for a second, he laughs, and says, "I'm kidding! I'm just kidding! I heard Medea say that! But seriously?" asks Flambé. "Call me," he mouths to the camera, then imitates Medea's nose wrinkle and growl, throwing in a quick cat-clawing motion. Laughing, he gets slightly more serious and says, "Who else? It has to be Doctor Boom! We're all pulling for you, Michael," he says to the camera, and blows a kiss as he walks away.
#5: American Beauty
"Big Medea fan, that one," chuckles Chase. "We're moving into the Major Leagues now with the Blonde Bombshell! American Beauty comes in at number five, or as she was once known, Superblonde. That's right, you know her from her infamous debut at the Richmond Rotunda, where her fight with Supermodel had tragic consequences! Indicted for her role in the fight, Kay Oz paid her debt to society in service with the Major League. After that, she joined The Sponsors, and has thrived on the Super Corporation's team of superheroes. No stranger to charity, she is perhaps better known for her Razing the Rhinodome charity grudge match with Supermodel."
Video showing her in her trademark red costume with matching red derby, Chase asks her, "Who do you think is the greatest superhero of all time?"
Kay's smile is a slight one, showing only at the corner of her mouth, and in the twinkle of her eye. "Well, it took awhile, but this chick is a close second," she says, fist-bumping Supermodel as she walks by on the runway.
Supermodel gives a silent, pretending-to-scream-in-excitement look as she waves to the camera on her way by.
"But the greatest? I have to tell you, I wasn't prepared for this life, and I'm in awe of all the great people I get to work with. Who stands out more right now though than Doctor Eight? I think he's the best among us," she says humbly, and continues down the runway.
Lotta comes in with, "From American Beauty to Greek Adonis, our number four- only number four?" she asks incredulously. "Our number four spot is held by the chiseled Archer of Love- Cupid! And mm-mm! How could he not make this list? I mean, just look at him! No way was I giving this interview to Chase," she says with a smile and a wink.
The video starts with Lotta putting a hand on the hero's firm bicep, and squeezing. "Cupid," says Lotta, "who do you think is the greatest superhero of all time?"
As Lotta rubs his arm a little, Cupid laughs lightly, and in a charming voice, answers, "Well, Miss Questionnés..."
"Call me Lotta," she says lustily.
"Of course, Lotta. Tonight? Personally, I may have to choose Freebird, or Flambé." He smiles cheekily, and continues, "But in seriousness, I'd have to say that it's Doctor Boom. What he did? It's amazing. Simply amazing." Smiling broadly, he adds, "And I loved his movie too!"
"At number three," says Lotta, "It's America's quickest sweetheart! Speediepie! Born Gail Eades, she went from running the hundred yard dash in twelve seconds, and the two hundred yard dash in twenty-five-point-three seconds, to running the mile in ten seconds flat, and being the fist five time winner of the Speedster 500! She even served on The Sponsors for a brief time as Speedo. The Maiden of Motion has found the fastest route to all of our hearts, and we're glad to have her!"
On the runway, Lotta asks, "Speediepie, I have to know- how did you get your name? It's adorable!"
"Aw, thanks," says Gail. "My mom actually gave me that nickname. I ran in the United States Youth Games when I was in seventh grade, and she bought me a tee shirt and had Speediepie put on the back with those felt letters from back in the day," she laughs.
"Oh, my God!" shouts Lotta. "That's great!"
"Yeah," says the speedster, "My mom was always my biggest supporter."
"I just love you so much!" Lotta squeals. "So, who do you think is the greatest superhero of all time?"
"Doctor Boom," says Gail. "No contest."
"At number two," Chase chimes in, "it's not a shock to anyone that it's the Man From the Future himself- Martin Americana, aka the Super-American! The founder of the Super Corporation, Super-American was the biggest influence on claiming responsibility for the destruction wrought during superhero fights with supervillains. It was his example that led the government to follow suit with the Major Corporation and Major League."
The video on the runway cuts in at, "Mister Americana, I have to ask: is Martin Americana really your real name?"
"No," answers Super-American. "Being from the future, I dare not reveal my real name. So I chose my name from the American marten, or Martes Americana." He shrugs. "It just seemed prudent to protect my true identity, so I chose something in keeping with the name the President gave me."
"With your unique perspective of being from the future, who do you think is the greatest superhero of all time?"
"I can't reveal what I know from the future," Martin says seriously. "But if we have to pick a greatest, we'd be hard pressed to pick a better man than Doctor Michael Boom. His dedication to the world, and his sacrifice in the face of great odds, should be an example to us all." He smiles warmly at Chase, and then at the camera, and continues down the runway.
#1: Doctor Boom
"You heard the heroes," exclaimed Lotta. "Without fail, they all picked Doctor Boom as the greatest superhero of all time! So it comes as no surprise that you did as well! The Number One pick for The Greatest Superhero of All Time is the one! The only! Doctor Michael Boom, aka Doctor Boom, aka Doctor Eight! Now, we obviously couldn't catch him on the runway, but here's why Doctor Eight is The Greatest Superhero of All Time!
"Michael Boom is a born genius- many believe he's the smartest man that's ever lived. So it's not surprising to learn that he has doctorates in multiple fields. It might be surprising to learn that he had earned most of them by the time he was twelve! So, the child prodigy was known as Doctor Boom from early on in his life.
"Wishing to make money for projects he wanted to start to benefit humanity, Doctor Boom turned to acting as a way to make big money fast. Unfortunately for him, and maybe for us, the only movie he ever made- The Atomic Brother From Outer Space- flopped hard! Michael blamed himself for overthinking the role, and arguing the director into making changes that hurt the movie. Maybe he can consider this black mark redeemed this summer when Paper View Pictures releases the remake- My Brother From Another Mothership- starring Will Smith!
"Abandoning acting altogether, he turned to government work where he was given plenty of money for his projects, and managed to make himself over into a superhero. The world didn't get to see the full extent of his brainpower until the Accord invasion, where the rogue artificial intelligence, Cray Z8, aka Crayniac, teamed with the aliens against its home planet.
"Able to jump from brain to brain, and posing the biggest threat, Doctor Boom set a trap, forcing Crayniac to jump into his own mind when Heavyweight took down the Accord ship. Unknown to Crayniac, Boom had stationed himself in a secret base in the Arctic Circle, away from machinery and any other humanity.
"There, an epic mental battle ensued, and Doctor Boom's consciousness merged with the artificial intelligence- perhaps irreversibly- and he became known as Doctor Eight. The Arctic Circle is now popularly known as the Eighth Circle, and is off limits to the rest of the world, enforced by the combined military might of the world's superpowers. There, Doctor Eight remains until Michael Boom can overcome the influence of Crayniac. And the world waits breathlessly to see the outcome of the greatest sacrifice of the modern day world.
"Doctor Boom is truly The Greatest Superhero of All Time," finishes Lotta.
"And that's our Top Ten for Februrary 18th," says Sawyer. "After these messages, we'll be back with superhero birthdays, and the story on the controversy surrounding Midas' hit single, 'Losing Your Touch!' Only here, on Heroes Tonight!"
|Please let me know what you think, and thanks! -cb|
|Originally Presented In: CCC #70. Part of the Flambé piece was from CCC #51.|