• .Larsen #3: And Now For the News. (1990's)

Team: Phillip, Paige, Rudy, Duncan.

Report on the death of mobster Lowell "Big Wheel" Mohne, and the gangsters known to by vying to fill the power vaccuum. Followed up by a live report from the scene of a killing perpetrated by a vigilante.

• .The Supermodel Vs. Superblonde Razing The Rhinodome High Steaks Super Steakout Party With Mike Rofon & Ted Atete. (CCC #38/ CCCEC #2)

Team: Mike, Ted.

Mike Rofon and Ted Atete are hosting a party at High Steaks, where the crowd gets to eat steaks, and view a telecast of the Supermodel Vs. Superblonde grudge match. They sum up the original fight, where Superblonde attacked Supermondel, bringing them both down into the Richmond Rotunda during a Rhinos game, injuring many, and destroying part of the stadium. This grudge match was to raise money for charity, and destroy the rest of the stadium. Mike and Ted are going to commentate on the fight.

• .Larsen Channel Seven News #1. (CCC #45/ CCCEC #2)

Team: Phillip, Paige, Rudy, Duncan, Mike, Ted.

Report on slang term "fug" entering the Encarta Dictionary. Clips are shown of the term's origin- an exchange between Mike Rofon and Ted Atete during the High Steaks party for the Supermodel Vs. Superblonde fight.

They were about to report on the announcement of a new team member for The Sponsors, when they're interrupted by a live report of a robbery in process at the Larsen City Bank. Police and gunmen exchange shots, and a woman in a pink costume is spotted in the bank.

The report is interrupted by gunshots in a nearby alley. They catch a man in a suit and skull mask on camera, firing into a car, and running away.

Cutting back to the studio, they go to commercial, promising the results to the latest Larsen Channel Seven News Man On the Street Poll when they return.

• .The Last Ride of The Freedom Train. (CCC #76/ CCCEC #4)

Team: Phillip, Paige, Mike (special report)

Danika Sedova: Bounty Hunter Babe is interrupted by a special report on the Freedom Train's cross country funeral tour for The Crossing Guard (AKA The American Guardian). Phillip and Paige give a brief history of The Crossing Guard, Freedom Train III, The Guaridan Angel, The Conductor, a tesseract system called a Rail Pass, and then tune in on the train pulling out of the station.

The train makes its first Rail Pass jump to Cheyenne, Wyoming, hwere Mike Rofon is standing by. When the train gets there, it roars right through the stop into the next Rail Pass portal. Flashing lights are seen inside the train, and a body is ejected through one of the windows as the train goes through the portal. Mike reports that it's the body of a Cyborgorilla, and the news crew is left behind from there.

• .The Coming of Dick Laser. (CCC #95/ CCCEC #5)

Team: Phillip, Paige, Mike.

Kohl's Law is interrupted by breaking news of a robbery at the Larsen City Bank. Gunmen have taken the customers and staff hostage, and are in a standoff with the police. They switch to Mike in the field, and he's just starting to tell them about the situation when he's interrupted by the arrival of Dick Laser. When Laser has handled the situation and flown away, Mike sums it up, and passes it back to Phillip and Paige in the studio. They sign off, returning the station back to Kohl's Law.

• Brown, Carlin
• Rusty Etticut

• Benny Factor
• The Blowfish
• Dick Laser
• Fortunato Amantialldo
• Hyperman
• Lowell "Big Wheel" Mohne
• Osmosis
• Paleface
• Poker Face
• The Recluse
• Rubberhead
• Superblonde
• Supermodel

• balloons made from potato skins
• Larsen Channel Seven News Man On the Street Poll
• Major Football League (MFL)
• Super Corporation Presents: The Supermodel Vs. Superblonde Razing The Rhinodome High Steaks Super Steakout Party With Mike Rofon & Ted Atete (TV special)
• tesseractuality

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• High Steaks
• Larsen
• Larsen City Bank
• Richmond Rotunda
• Songbirds

• Guardrail, The (Freedom Train III, The)
• Osmosis' Bowler Hat
• Rail Pass (Tesseractuator)
• Rhinodrone
• Rhinoship
• Superblonde's Bowler Hat

• Cyborgorillas
• Dragon Men, The
• Hyper-Parasites (aka The Superbugs)
• Larsen Police Department
• Larsen S.W.A.T.
• Richmond Rhinos
• The Sponsors
• Super Corporation

And Now For the News:

• vigilante killer (Scatterbrain)

Larsen Channel Seven News #1:

• bank robbers
• man in car
• shooter in skull mask
• woman in car
• woman in pink costume

The Last Ride of the Freedom Train:

• unnamed cameraman with Mike Rofon

The Coming of Dick Laser:

• unnamed bank robbers (7)
• unnamed hostages

Overall, I think the best thing I got out of this story was the news crew. Their names are all goofy wordplay names, and that wordplay informs the characters about as well as they need to be informed. They're cyphers really, but I love 'em. They've already appeared in a few other stories. (Source)

I've always wanted to write a "sports chat" like you just have, just haven't been able to get the pacing right, which you did (Batkevin74)

I responded:

With a news team, I just try to think of stupid, awkward segues between segments, and/or have the anchors do stupid things to insert themselves into news reports (like Phil asking about the Glock) because they're trying to grab more of the spotlight. But that's because I haven't liked the news since Walter Cronkite retired (when I was like six, I think). I know nothing about the man's political leanings or whatever else people wanted to complain about with him, but he reported the news, didn't make dumb segues, and at the end, he said, "That's the way it was. Now stay tuned for your local news. Good night," and he was out.

With sports casters, it's a little more relaxed, or it is with my guys anyway. They're friendly with each other, they're having fun, and they vamp the whole way through- telling you the play-by-play, and filling downtime where there's no plays to tell with whatever they can: stats, breakdown of the previous play, or drawn out conversation vamps on a particular moment (like the "fug" thing), milking it for everything they can get out of it. Like radio DJ's, sports guys can not leave dead air.

To put it a little simpler: I write the news team like vainglorious idiots who are a little uptight. I write the sports guys like backyard goofballs that are like, "These fools just gave us a mic? Score!" The news team can ad lib, but the sports guys are much more stream-of-consciousness. But they all keep in mind what can and can't be said on television. (Source)

Sometimes, I just come up with silly stuff as I'm writing. One of the particular times that happens is when I'm writing TV personalities- especially the news crew. I am not a fan of the news in general, because I hate the stupid things they find to talk about just to fill up time. I generally see the press as a bunch of self-important glory hounds, more concerned with their air time than with actually reporting the news.

So while doing a special report, I had Paige Webb mention the brass band and balloon release that started the train's journey. Then I thought about reports that balloon releases sometimes wind up killing birds, and I figured that seemed like a cause that some hippie environmentalist in California might go to some extreme to fix. So I came up with the most hippie-like thing I could think of, and that's how we got a silly piece of trivia about balloons made from potato skins.

There's absolutely no science behind that. I didn't read some strange clickbait article about it. That's just straight out of my head. Scary, right? I still need a name for these balloons, because it's something so stupid I just have to use it again somewhere. (Source)

• .The Modern Day Virgin Queen. (CCC #50/ CCCEC #3)

The cameo:

The next clip is audible, showing news anchor Phillip Thyme for Larsen Channel Seven News. "Ladies and gentlemen, if you're just tuning in, a fight between Supermodel and an equally powered woman claiming to be the daughter of Osmosis has leveled a portion of the Richmond Rotunda this evening. Hundreds have been injured, and there have been some fatalities. The damage is still being assessed at this time. Calling herself Superbi-- uh, Superblonde..."

"Wait a minute," says the narrator, "What was that?"

"Superbi-- uh, Superblonde," repeats the newsclip.

"Check again, Mister Newsman," the narrator says in a mocking tone. "Let's roll that fight footage."

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