the_angry_comic_book_critic's Batman & Robin review

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By The Angry Comic Book Critic
      After seeing this and Batman Forever I have only one thing left to say to Joel Schumacher after this latest ass raping of the Dynamic Duo as sincerely as one human being can say to another FUCK YOU. I can not stress that enough this film was the One More Day Version for Batman is was that bad. It was so bad when I found a videotape (yes they were what pre-dated the DVD) of this in my closet that I owned when I was a kid and you know what I did with it?....I SMASHED THE CRAP OUT OF IT WITH A HAMMER THEN TOOK IT OUTBACK AND SET THE FILM ON FIRE!!!!!  That's what I did with this resounding shit turd I felt disgusted that when I was a little kid I actually enjoyed this crap! Now lets dig into this shit stain and tear it to shreds!!!
      Robin. I just want to say even when I was a little kid this character annoyed me in this and I use the term loosely film. In the animated series Batman and Robin had a great relationship sure they would fight every now and then but the fights brought emotion and character depth to the series in this it wasn't the dynamic duo it was Batman and the whiny little bitch formally known as Robin I mean seriously every single line of his dialog in this film could have been replaced with Whine, whine, whine, bitch, bitch, bitch honestly could really tell the difference if the soundtrack for robin was switched with that? I don't think so. Mr. Freeze Oh dear god what have they done to you man? Now I Just want to make clear Arnold Schwarzenegger is the Shit I love his action films but with this he could not have been a worse casting choice if it was between him and Carrot Top for the role that's how bad he was in this. I mean EVERY SINGLE LINE WAS AN ICE RELATED ONE LINER do you have any idea how annoy that gets if they where good one liners it would have been acceptable but with shit like "What killed the Dinosaurs?...The ICE AGE!" and "KICK SOME ICE!!!" THAT DOESN'T EVEN MAKE SENSE WHAT THE FUCK IS HE TALKING ABOUT??!?!?!?! Okay I'm cool now this film was a HUGE leap back in the Batman Character that was establish in Burton's films instead of being the Dark Brooding character we all know and love he went straight back to being Adam West I hate that batman he's a total friggin Tool!!! But the ultimate unforgivable original Sin in this movie is this....Captain Morgan give me strength.....THE BAT CREDIT CARD!!!! WHY THE HELL WOULD BATMAN NEED A CREDIT CARD?!?!?! WHAT IF SOMEONE JACKS THE BATMOBILE HE CAN TAKE A CAB?!?! DAMN YOU SCHUMACHER  DAMN YOU TO HELL FOR DOING THIS TO HIM!!!!! No no more I can't do it I can't go on anymore this film is evil it is from hell it destroys everything Tim Burton created for this series their is a special place in hell for you Joel and when you go there don't let the door hit you on the ass on the way out.
      I'm The Angry Comic Book Critic and....just burn this film send it to hell where it has no place on this earth. The only good thing I can say about this shit stain is that the guy who played alfred was still as awesome as ever and I wish him the best of luck where ever he is.

Other reviews for Batman & Robin

    Trash 0

    From the weak and paper thin plot line to the script comprised solely of one-liners, there is nothing about this movie that is remotely worth watching, EXCEPT to make fun of it. The list of problems, both on technical and story levels is endless. This is the one movie that all batman and movie fans should vote to have written off from the batman franchise. I'm pretty sure even George Clooney didn't even want to make it. I don't blame him. Aside from some interesting costume designs, this movie ...

    2 out of 3 found this review helpful.

    Bat-Crap 0

    I was in the mood to review another bad movie. So, Batman & Robin was the one I chose. Now before I go into it, I'm not going to lie. I actually like this movie. NOT because it's a good movie (I think it's a horrible movie), but it's so bad it gets to the point where it's kind of funny. Now, I will be going into spoilers here. I don't know how anything would be spoiled for you, but I just had to throw that out.The BadI like to start with the good first. But I had to start with bad here. You ...

    2 out of 3 found this review helpful.

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