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Just Ask The Jonas Brothers

What's the worst that could happen?

 
While the Staff at Comic Vine may not agree with the opinions in the article below, we still hold the belief that everyone's opinions are valuable. In fact, I imagine that some of the skeptics over the Disney/Marvel business deal may relate to what they read below. Big thanks to our ghost writer who for obvious reasons wanted his identity to remain anonymous. So for an alternative opinion to mine, enjoy the article below. 
-B

 

Just Ask The Jonas Brothers



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 In the life of a geek, there are certain moments that you never forget where you were when it happened. Like when they announced the release date for The Dark Knight or when Robert Downey Jr. was cast as Iron Man. But this was bigger. Much bigger.

I was on the elevator up to the 17th floor of 2 Penn Plaza in NYC around 9AM when the Reuters feed on the bottom line of the news ticker flashed it. I nearly dropped my coffee in disbelief as I exclaimed “Egad!” to myself (okay, maybe I didn’t really exclaim anything, but it was big enough to warrant it). Upon reaching my destination I sprinted to my desk and set up my laptop. A Google search proved fruitful, as NYtimes.com had already run an article on it. Within 10 minutes of that moment, Bob Iger sent out his typical company wide mass e-mail announcing the news.

Marvel was now a property of the Disney Corporation.

It was like my own personal M-Day, but instead of images of fliers instantly losing their powers and crashing into the city streets below though, the thoughts of Wolverine being forced into something like Kingdom Hearts 7 or the wings on the side of Captain America’s head being replaced with giant mouse ears filled my mind.

 I am an employee of the Disney Corporation.

I have had the mouse smiling that smug, insidious, all-knowing smile back at me on my paychecks now for almost three years and can tell you exactly what it means that Marvel is now a member of the Disney Corporation.

Imagine the Phalanx from X-Men. An organism bent on assimilating all it comes in touch with and eliminating all original thought from existence as it adds more and more to its all-conquering hive mind.  That is the Disney way.
 
Sure, Disney can come out during a press conference and say they are going to have a more hands-off approach, but I’ve heard and seen that before. Once Marvel starts making money for its new parent company (fiscal experts are predicting the second quarter of 2012), I would give it six months before characters like Deadpool (whose popularity might be at an all-time high) are forced back into comic book obscurity because Disney only cares about one thing. It has been drilled into me since I set foot into my first Disney owned studio back in January of 2007.
 
There is nothing more important than the Disney brand and image.

Anything off-brand will be assimilated or eliminated.

I’ve seen it with radio programs, TV concepts, and even sports-related podcasts. Once something shows it can turn a profit and be of use to the hive-mind, the mouse and his subordinates have to sink their fingers into it and meddle around until the original product is a barely recognizable perversion of its original form (just ask all these musical acts Disney has spawned).

Aside from regular FCC rules, Disney enforces a strict moral code that it expects all its employees to follow. Disney is not here to entertain or provide good content, it is here to make money and impose its own code upon the people foolish enough to consume their media.

Anything with excessive blood, language, or questionable topics will see the full wrath of the mouse come down upon them. Disney’s image is a politically correct, non-threatening image and anything that goes against that is either worn down until it breaks so it can be rebuilt in their image or has the plug pulled immediately and will never see the light of day again.

I have been able to avoid full assimilation myself for the most part because, until now, as a comic and video game reviewer, I’ve been able to toe the line between being both unprofitable and off-brand.

So, Disney might stay true to their word for some time that they are only going to use their power to help Marvel’s worldwide influence and to help finance and possibly re-launch their various movie series while trying to make a dent in what has long since been Disney’s Kryptonite (I understand that is a DC reference, but I think it paints the best picture), the 18-34 male demographic.

But give it a little time. We might be revisiting this in just three years when we see the Punisher putting flowers in the guns of enemy soldiers instead of bullets in their face from a high caliber rifle.

I have to go now. The mouse may be on to me….bzzzt….M-I-C….K-E-Y……….

-StrongProtector