There seems to be certain advantages to being a villain. You get to laugh like a maniac. The heroes won't kill you. You also get to wear funky clothing. Unfortunately not all attempts at villainy results in a success. Here's a Top Ten list of the Lamest Villains.
1. Codpiece. His career as a villain was cut short when his piece was dissolved. His plans on being a supervillain were premature. Is that a mini-cannon or are you just happy to see me?
2. Kite-Man. He uses a kite strapped to his back to commit crimes. He took the phrase, "Go fly a kite" literally. No need to worry if it's not a windy day.
3. Condiment King. He uses condiments to commit acts of crime. Perhaps one day he'll mustard up the courage to become a bigger threat.
4. Angle Man. Originally conceived as a villain obsessed over crimes with unbeatable angles, Angle Man can now be an inspiration to math students everywhere who ask "When will we ever use this?"
5. Typeface. Down on his luck, Gordon Thomas became a signsmith. After getting laid off, he drew letters on his face and used giant letters as weapons. He later tried fighting against evil but seems to be typecast as a bad guy.
6. Doctor Bong. With a past that includes being a journalist, performing in a rock band, being a scientist and psychologist, it's not really known where Doctor Bong's inspiration for his look came from. During conversations, Doctor Bong always manages to chime in with a valid point.
7. MODOK. Originally designed to serve AIM (Advanced Idea Mechanics), MODOK's ambition grew with the size of his head as he took over the organization. Now he tries to get ahead by using his intelligence to try to take over the world.
8. Crazy Quilt. After an experimental procedure to restore his eyesight, criminal Paul Dekker was driven insane by intense colors in his vision. As Crazy Quilt, he uses a special helmet that allows him to hypnotize his victims with colors. It's also said that he can be a real comforter to his henchmen.
9. Rainbow Raider. Roy G. Bivolo wanted to be an artist. Unfortunately being color blind made him turn to a life of crime. He stole fine art thinking if he couldn't appreciate it, no one should.
10. Stilt-Man. With telescopic legs, he can get tall. Really tall. He tried reaching for great heights by leaving behind his life of crime. Things were looking good until he got shot in the crotch with a rocket by the Punisher.
47 Comments