Dollar Bill's Documentary Disaster Part 1: Membership Madness! last edited by milleniumcyke on 07/30/20 05:05PM View full history

The proverbial pot is stirred after a documentary is aired about the Defenders, inviting all heroes to come join the team. Will this unwanted TV time cause tension for the Defenders' current members?

The issue opens with Hellcat, the Hulk, Nighthawk, Valkyrie, as well as Aragon standing around at Nighthawk's house, playing frisbee. Hellcat has the disk, and as she is about to throw it, Valkyrie and Hulk express the fact that neither of them know how to play frisbee, but Nighthawk is confident that he can catch it no matter how hard Hellcat throws it.

She throws it up as high as she can, but despite her strength, Nighthawk still manages to grab it, throwing it to Hulk for his turn to throw it. Hulk turns and throws it as hard as he can towards the Valkyrie, who cannot catch such a fast object, and Hulk says he thinks frisbee is stupid, but apologizes to the unharmed Valkyrie.

Dollar Bill, a new friend of the team storms out of the house in excitement, exclaming that he has made a documentary about the team that will appear as a commerical. Nighthawk gets very angry at Dollar Bill, and tells him that the team is supposed to be a secret, and that he's just given away all their secrets. Hellcat, on the other hand is excited, and Valkyrie manages to calm Nighthawk down.

The gang is next seen sitting on a couch in front of the television, with Nighthawk extremely grumpy about the whole situation, while Hellcat and the others are somewhat excited. Hulk is angry that the television is as stupid as frisbee. The commercial comes on with Dollar Bill's voice, who announces the team and lineup, recapping their recent adventures with Xenogenesis.

He continues to praise the team in the commercial, recapping recent events such as Valkyrie's murder of Doctor Strange, who had become evil, their team-up with Spider-Man against Lunatik, and shows them how Lunatik escaped their grasps.

Nighthawk is angry that they could not catch him, and the rest of the team agrees as the commercial chugs on. Dollar Bill then appears on the screen, explaining their non-team status and telling that anyone can be a hero, giving out Nighthawk's hideaway before announcing the team as 'Dollar Bill's Dynamic Defenders.'

Nighthawk is very angry at Dollar Bill, leaping from his chair and screaming at him. Hellcat and Valkyrie stop Nighthawk and tell him that it really isn't that bad. Hulk is just confused. Nighthawk explains that he thinks everyone will want to join the team, and he is blaming it all on Dollar Bill.

Meanwhile, a mysterious figure is flying through the air and observing a car accident, distressed about something.

The scene shifts back to Nighthawk's house, where the doorbell is ringing off the hook, and Nighthawk is waking up to the door. Angrily walking past a sleeping Dollar Bill, Nighthawk opens the door to see a group of heroes, including Black Goliath, Jack of Hearts, Stingray, Polaris, Captain Marvel, Ms. Marvel, Hercules, Iron Fist, Marvel Man, Nova, and Son of Satan greeting him.

Angry, Nighthawk explains about how bad the day is, throwing Dollar Bill out the door and telling him never to come back. Falcon, sitting on the edge of the roof with Prowler, tells him to set a better example, as a Defender. Angry, Nighthawk throws Falcon on the roof and starts chasing him around in the air.

Meanwhile, Hellcat, Valkyrie, and Hulk look out the window and Hellcat wants to go out and join them, as Hulk is confused and Valkyrie starts to make coffee. Hellcat exits the house and meets up with Paladin, Captain Ultra, and Torpedo, openly flirting with them until Torpedo explains that he is married. Nova and Marvel Boy decide to ride Nighthawk's horses.

White Tiger joins them as all three of them race towards the horses. Angry at Nighthawk's outbursts, Black Goliath, Havok, Tagak, Captain Marvel, Ms. Marvel, Stingray, Polaris, and Paladin unanimously vote Hercules the new team leader, and Hercules accepts.

Marvel Man, White Tiger, Prowler, and Nova continue their chase and attempt to ride the horses who are difficult to catch, but all of them eventually wind up getting a horse. Meanwhile, Nighthawk is still chasing the Falcon.

They fly past White Tiger and the others riding the horses and scare them, and they end up chasing them as well. Meanwhile, Valkyrie brings the others some coffee, and introduces herself to them.

After handing the coffee out, many fo the guests pour it out because it tastes so bad. Valkyrie expresses the fact that she cannot make coffee yet, and is angry as Hercules even pours his out. Meanwhile, Havok, Black Goliath, Iron Fist, Tagak, and Torpedo all join together and decide it is best to capture the Hulk.

Back where Hellcat is, Jack of Hearts and Captain Ultra are fighting over Hellcat, and Captain Ultra angrily pushes her and the two get in a fight. Just as they are about to fight one another, the horses race past and hit them. The Hulk is sitting in seclusion from the rest of the group. As Hulk is about to leave, the group of conspirators attack him.


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