Straight from the camp classic Adam West/Burt Ward 1960s Batman. . .
Can you smell what the Riddler's got cookin'?
| What does a turkey do when he flies upside down? | He gobbles up | |
| What weighs six ounces, sits in a tree, and is very dangerous? | A sparrow with a machine gun | |
| What has yellow skin and writes? | A ballpoint banana | |
| What people are always in a hurry? | Russians | |
| What goes up white and comes down yellow and white? | An egg | |
| How do you divide seventeen apples among sixteen people? | Make applesauce | |
| Why is an orange like a bell? | Because they both must be peeled | |
| There are three men in a boat with four cigarettes but no matches. How do they manage to smoke? | They throw one cigarette overboard and made the boat a cigarette lighter | |
| What is it that no man wants to have but no man wants to lose? | A lawsuit | |
| When is the time of a clock like the whistle of a train? | When it's two to two | |
| What has neither flesh, bone, nor nail yet has 4 fingers and a thumb? | A Glove | |
| Why is a quarrel like a bargain? (Molly) | It takes two to make it | |
| What kind of pins are used in soup? | Terrapins | |
| What is Joan of Arc made of? | Maid of Orleans | |
| How many sides has a circle? | Two, inside and outside | |
| Which president wears the largest hat? | The one with the biggest head. | |
| Has Anybody seen my friend Kirsch? Kirsch Who? Gesundheit | (joke) | |
| Did you hear about Greta Garbo? She dreamed one night she sprinkled six boxes of grass seed in her hair and woke up moaning "I vant to be a lawn" | (joke) | |
| When's a donkey spelled with one letter? (Robin) | When it's "U" | |
| When is a person like a piece of wood? | When he's a ruler | |
| What room can no one enter? | Mushroom | |
| What is the beginning of eternity, the end of time and space, the beginning of every end and the end of every race? | The Letter E (no answer given on show) | |
| How much dirt is in a hole 3 acres square and 200 feet deep? | None, because it's a hole | |
| What won't run long without winding? | a river | |
| Why is a woman in love like a welder? | They both carry a torch (solved next episode) | |
| What is it that's always coming but never arrives? | Tomorrow | |
| What squeals louder than a caught rat? (Batman) | Several caught rats | |
| How do you stop a dog from barking in July? (Joker's moll) | Shoot him in June | |
| What is black & white and red all over? | Book | |
| What has branches and leaves and no bark? | Library | |
| The more you take away, the larger it grows. What is it? | A hole | |
| What has 4 legs, runs day and night, but never gets anywhere? | The Famous Lion Fountains at the museum | |
| What are more mink skins used for than anything else? (Joker) | to hold minks together | |
| Did you hear what the maid said when the duchess asked if she'd given the goldfish fresh water that morning? (Joker) | No your highness, he hasn't yet used what he had yesterday | |
| Did you hear about the kid who wanted to sell his dog for $50,000? (Joker) | He got his price, traded it for 2 $25,000 cats but you can't make a deal like that for the Maharaja because we've got enough cat's already | |
| Why is a musician's bandstand like an oven? | Because that's where he makes his bread | |
| How do you make a dishonest shortcake | Lieberry shortcake (corrupted version of 'library') | |
| What do you find in a kitchen cabinet that is not alive? | Deadpans | |
| When is a new car considered to be seedy? | When it's a lemon | |
| When is a bonnet not a bonnet? | When it becomes a young woman | |
| When does a Boy Wonder rhyme with bubble? | When he's double | |
| Why is a bear like a fallen tree? | A bear lumbers and a fallen tree becomes lumber | |
| Why is silk like grass? | You measure both by the yard | |
| When is a man a stupid relative? | When he's a mannequin (a dummy) | |
| Why was Flo Zigfield like a nearsighted man? | Because they both put on spectacles (Harold Lloyd) | |
| What kind of men are always above board? | Chessmen | |
| What kind of machine has ears? | A train, it has engineers | |
| Why does a cowboy wear a tight belt? | To hold up his pants | |
| Mr. Van Jones, why are you like a clock at midnight? | Because both of your hands are going straight up, right now | |
| What's black & white and full of fuzz? | Squad Car | |
| I know a bank where the wild time blows, inside out the puzzle goes | Points to Artemus Knab (bank backwards) | |
| What letter is ne'er received in the alphabet? | The letter you put in the mailbox | |
| How canst thou keep a rooster from crowing on Sabbath morn? | By killing him on a Saturday night? | |
| PUZZLES (from secret writing) | points to the Puzzler's phone number | |
| An aviator was carrying his clothes home from the cleaners when it began to rain. How didst he protect them? | He put them inside the hangers | |
| (Clue is in a crossword puzzle in the Gotham City Herald) | a Basin Street Hotel Banquet, or a "Bank Wet" at the Gotham City Bank, it's flooded | |
| When is a man drowned, but still not wet? | When he's trapped in quicksand | |
| When is an eagle's nest blest best? | Nest Eggs; Anthony Aquila, the Latin American dictator | |
| What is it that travels on all fours in the morning, on two legs at noon, and three at twilight? | Man | |
| When is a floor like a puzzle? | (the floor under the duo breaks apart) | |
| Why is an old collar button like an old pile of burning automobile tires? (Batman) | Because they both choke! (Robin) | |
| When is a Jet Stream like a Daffodil? | (unanswered) | |
| What do many boats, shovels, laundries, whistles, and hot showers have in common? | steam | |
| When is the top of a mountain like a saving's account? | when it peaks one's interest | |
| When does a painter use a trigger instead of a brush? | when he's a stickup artist | |
| Who rules the ring, no prince, king or raja; look for a clue on the walls of Kafaja | Riddler wants to control the prizefighting ring | |
| If we had our choice of laps to sit on, which would we choose? | Kid Gulliver's temporary lapse of memory | |
| What have the following in common - hemming, basting, pearling, and tagging? | needlework | |
| What's most alluring when it's lowest or highest; when it's in the air or in a hole; when it's served you yet you can't touch it? | an enchanting ace (introduction to Siren) | |
| What's looser that a thread, a fish, flying ribbons? | A woman's tongue | |
| What do bells, curtains, twins and hair have in common? | bells ring out, curtains ring down, twins are perfect ringers, hair comes in ringlets | |
| Any aggressor should beware his successor | rhymes with Mushy Nebuchadnezzer | |
| What are the chilliest 12 inches in the world? | cold feet | |
| What suit of cards lays eggs? | one that's chicken hearted (calling Batman a coward) | |
| What eats crow, yells uncle, and tosses sponges? | a loser | |
| When is a prizefight like a beautiful lady? | when it's a knockout | |
| What do you throw away that keeps returning? | a boomerang | |
You can just hear Frank Gorshin's signature cackle in the background can't you? His portrayal of the character took the Riddler from minor enemy to major foe in the pages of all the Batman titles. Some of the riddles above are a bit kitsch, but certainly entertaining. Your thoughts?
Log in to comment