Squirrel Girl - Is it time to take her more seriously?
By Timandm 60 Comments
I'd never heard of Squirrel Girl until I'd read the issue of Cable and Deadpool which happened during the Marvel Civil War thing. Deadpool was working for the government helping to capture 'unregistered' heroes. He attacked the Great Lakes Avengers because he (for whatever reason) thought they were unregistered... He's insane, so it's not surprising.
Anyway, from the first time I read about her, I thought she was interesting. I thought, "Oh, that's a cute idea," but I didn't take her too seriously as a Super Hero. Well, after reading New Avengers vol. 2 issue 15 which took place during Fear Itself. In this issue we got to see Doreen:
Slap Wolverine around in a sparring session:
and watch her leap from rooftop to rooftop in NYC while under fire
and we even get to see her squirrel friends ripping a Nazi to shreds
For those of you who don't already know this, Squirrel Girl was hired by Luke and Jessica Cage to be the nanny for their daughter Danielle. I think she makes for a great nanny. At times she seems sweet and innocent. At other times she's ferocious... but she's not shy, she hit on Daredevil... I guess she's a little bit Mary Poppins with some Tigra and Black Cat mixed in...
So, anyway, I've noticed that she's often used as a sort of comic relief and not taken too seriously. But i started thinking about what a person with the proportionate strength, speed, and agility of a squirrel would be like... it actually came to me rather quickly; such a person would, physically, be a match for Spider-Man. Seriously.
So, based on what little I know about Squirrels, I would estimate that a Squirrel person of Doreen's size should be able to:
- Leap somewhere between 30 to 50 feet into the air.
- Run at speeds up to 100 mph (although, 65 mph would be more realistic)
- Be able to lift around 10 tons
- Have a near perfect sense of balance
- Have extraordinarily fast reflexes. An ordinary human would never be able to punch them (under normal circumstances.)
- Have an immunity to a number of venoms (Squirrels are immune to most snake venoms, but I don't know about ALL snake venoms.)
- Heal much faster than normal humans
- Have a BITE THAT IS ABOUT 50 TIMES MORE POWERFUL than a normal human. Think about that. She could chew off arms and legs! Eww but cool!
- Have a grip so powerful that it could snap bones!
I based all that on general knowledge of the many different species of Squirrels. Some squirrels can run MORE than 20 MPH, jump as high as 6 feet into the air, can kill animals much larger than themselves, can be bitten several times by a viper without dying... and other stuff...
So, when you think about it, she's actually quite powerful. Plus, she has all those little furry sidekicks. I think it'd be fun to have a Spider-Man / Squirrel Girl mini-series, especially since Squirrels weird Spidey out. He thinks they're creepy.
So, Mr. Quesada, if you're out there listening, and I KNOW YOU ARE... Seriously, Joe, it's time for a Squirrel Girl series. I'd be happy to write it for you...