I don't know about you guys, but I love crossovers. Oh, wait, let me try that again: 
I LOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE crossovers.
For those who didn't notice: We live in a world completely void of super powers, power rings, awesome mutations and so on, besides animals, but they don't get into the kind of awesome battles we love to read about. So we read comics, of course not only for the fights, but also for character development and all that other crazy stuff that wouldn't happen the way it does without our favorite characters having super powers and their fights. We pick sides, we hope for our hero to win or sometimes even for the villain because we think "That would have the impact to create the story I always wanted."
But we already pick sides long before we start reading, even before buying. What do we want? Marvel? DC? Dark Horse? Image? There are some publishers out there, every one with their own characters and worlds with their own aspects that make the publisher recognizable, that only get in touch with each other really really rarely. I guess everyone remembers DC vs. Marvel, and once I owned a Spiderman/Batman crossover where they had to team up against the Joker and Carnage. Today, I would give my brother's right eye for that one, because it was awesome (as far I remember, but it had Joker and Carnage as villains, so it couldn't have been bad) and it made me realize the awesomness of crossovers at a quite early age.
Since then, every time I see a comic book character, I wonder if he or she could stand his ground against another one that just pops up in my head. My head is a crossover arena, where movies, books, comics, manga and videogames send in fighters they consider worthy, and my head makes it everyone vs. everyone.
But that's not all. Something else that is happening in my head is that I wonder which charakter would choose which site? What kind of a world could offer a place for literally everyone, a place where Mr. Freeze wouldn't have to freeze everything because it's cold enough for him to survive, but at the same time warm enough to have beaches (not ours, Alaska also exists in the DCU)?
What could bring them to that place? Why could it have brought them there? What's their purpose now? And my head keeps spinning and keeps spinning a tale of how, when, why and which characters could have been brought to a world where they all had to pick sides and face or help a big thread to all universes. Like, ALL universes, even those none of us has ever heard of.
Okay... I admit, this is a damn long introduction to the question I intended to ask, but yeah, bite me.
What do you think of such an Idea? Who would you want to see to team up or fight against each other? Is a team with Zoro of One Piece and Marvel's Deadpool imaginable? Would you like to see Devil May Cry's Dante fight against, let's say, Etrigan? And is it me or is this blog entry just really short?
 
Sincerely
LassieofDoom
 
 
p.s.: Before I forget it: Of course, there have been a lot of characters throughout history I just didn't think of and that I really wouldn't want in this world. Those characters are for example the Disney characters of Duckburgh, Warner Brother's Looney Tunes or the Carebears, because, let's say it together: Shit would be smoking and blood would be flowing and they surely were misplaced in that world.

Okay, I hoped I could come up with more than two heroes that did that, but the number isn't really important for the question:

What do superheroes smell like?

The two that came to my mind were Batman and Wolverine. Both have been shown coming close to their opponent, face to face with just enough distance so that a fly could come through between their noses. What I know for sure is that Batman even graps people at their collars and drags them near him, just to intimidate them and to make sure that they won't escape. But if I was Batman I'd really wonder: "Does that thug smell the Filet Mignon I had for dinner?"

Not that a fresh breath is really important when you are the Batman, but smells are a hint to who you really are, and heroes like Batman and Wolverine... well...

Let's just be honest, if you are patroling the roofs of Gotham or if you have a two days march through the woods, human (and maybe even mutant) bodies produce sweat and sweat produces smell. I can imagine Adam West taking a can of his famous Bat-Deodorant out of his utility belt (it drives women crazy), but what about Wolverine? Neither does he have the space to put deodorant anywhere nor can he just walk into a 24-7, blood stained and dirty and asking for a can of AXE.

Let's stay with Wolverine. He has an extremely strong sense of smell. Now let's take a look at Mark Millar's "Old Man Logan", where he wandered through the woods for days or for weeks. How could he even stand that smell of dried blood mixed with those of dirt and his own sweat?

Okay, this is the point where I expect almost everyone reading this to think: "Well, spandex smells too!"

Not that this didn't come to my mind, but as explained: wandering through forests for days, jumping from roof to roof, even swinging from building to building (yes, Spidey gets a role in this post too). No one can be that hard trained that they won't sweat, and I'm pretty sure that one's one smell is much stronger than the one of spandex.

Coming to Spider-Man and other webslingers. I can imagine ONE condition under that they can't be smelled, and that's when bonding with a symbiote. Let's face it, to be really effective a symbiote needs a host for what evolutionary purpose ever. So granting it's host with powers beyond average human's imagination isn't everything it does. It even covers their smell (despite everything you might tell me, this is what I believe because I like some logic in my comics). So everyone who has been a host for a symbiote and isn't anymore looks back to the days where he couldn't be smelled and gets a teary eye.

Back to Batman and Wolverine and something else.

Imagine the following: After DC versus Marvel and the short timed fusion of the universes, the two supernatural hermaphrodites remember: "Damn, there was my brother/sister-thingy... I wonder what it's doing...". They go visit each other, have a cervisia (latin for beer, makes it sound more god-like) and suddenly they remember why they can't stand each other... It comes to DC versus Marvel 2: The second try!

Now they let those they combined fight each other. Superman laughs about Cap Americas shield, Ultimo and Metallo have a clash and, of course:

Batman versus Wolverine. No matter how long they fight, at one point Wolvie realizes that he could just follow Batman's smell and trap him. I mean, it probably wouldn't really work, but he could do that.

So how can Batman cover his smell? Does he even try? What do other superheroes about it, if anyone does?

So what do you think? Do superheroes just smell like you and me or is there a secret only they know about?

Seriously, can someone please tell me why Bizarro does whatever he does when he feels like doing it? ... Or even better: What the hell does he do? You guys see, I'm not that much of a Superman-fan (hell do I know why), but I'm generally extremely interested in fictional charakters. But I really don't get this guy. Let's sum up what I know about him and maybe together we can track the trace back to his motives... or I'll just finish this cause I'm bored and someone just tells me!
 
1st.: Kinda unlike Superman
Okay, this pretty much sums up everything there is to know about Kent Clark, or at least what is most important. Superman looks good, Bizarro looks like a burning victim in a coldsnap with his face smashed against the wall... and even worse. Besides flying and strength, Bizarro's abilitys are the opposites of Superman's. But I believe that on the way back in his childhood (I know that there's no such thing for him), we need to take a closer look on each of these small pieces of difference between them.
 
2nd.: So beautiful...
Yeah, let's say it out loud: Clark Kent is a beautiful man. Yes, I said it, and yes, I feel a little weird about it, but it's the truth. His glasses suit him, he's muscular, I liked his long-hair-phase cause long hair looks cool in a  fight and his face is pretty enough to get the hottest chick in the office.
Bizarro on the other hand is pretty ugly. Not even sunglasses could make him look any better, he is muscular compared to the normal real world guy, but not to Superman, with long hair he would look like... I can't even think of a matching comparison, and his face is ugly enough to even scare off that 70 years old virgin without teeth, sitting in a wheelchair and longing for a man.
So a possible solution, a motive for Bizarro's actions might be envy. He is so damn ugly and that other guy is so damn pretty, so why not ease the competition by killing him?
 
3rd: Monkey play, monkey like!
It might not actually be that he's stupid, but seriously, Superman's intellect surpasses Bizarro's. While the man in red and blue spandex is able to confuse Bizarro, he's also able to see through most of his plots (that's what I say without having read about Bizarro... just one episode of Superman-TAS makes me believe that I'm right here). However, the man in purple and yellow doesn't seem to be that smart. Not a total moron, but surely no genius.
So why should that make him want to go after Superman? Cause we all hate smartasses and we all can totally understand, buddy!
 
 4th: Me use grammar!
 "Me like you!" - "Yeah, I like you too, pal! ...Wait, what the h- Aaaaargh!!!"
Bizarro's grammar is extremely confusing, I really recommend to see the Bizaaro article on Comicvine, where it is wonderfully explained for further information about it. But why?
It's been stated (not officially, as far as I know) that he does this upside-down inside-out speaking on purpose, because of it's incontinuity, but I don't think so. Yes, I am claiming here that authors like Geoff Johns and Richard Donner are making mistakes sometimes too. Well, more or less. I can't say why he said "Goodbye!" to Superman at the end, but i think that he did THIS on purpose. So everytime he's talking in earth-acceptable grammar, he puts a lot of effort in it.
Unlike Superman. It's all like Star Wars... The whole universe likes earth, so we make english our basic language! Everywhere (Yeah, I know that things are a little different in Star Wars, but everybody knows what I mean)! And while the whole universe speaks english far better than Bizarro does, he gets jealous. And then there's this (compared to Bizarro) eloquent man with his (compared to Bizarro) perfect grammar and I don't like him anyways and... well... You know how the story continues.
So another reason for Bizarro to do what he does might be grammar jealousy. And yes, I'm super serial!
 
5th: I can do something that you can't!
Bad title for this part, but somehow matching. It's about the opposite powers and weaknesses. They both can freeze and heat with their eyes and their mouth. Superman's heat vision and ice breath versus Bizarro's ice vision and heat breath. They both have x-ray vision, though Superman can't see through lead while lead is everything Bizarro can see through. They both are weak to kryptonite, but while Superman weakens because of green kryptonite, it can make Bizarro even stronger (if it has any effect at all). But therefor, don't let your Bizarros play with blue kryptonite (kinda confusing here... in games it heals Superman, in Smallville he loses his powers because of it... don't know).
So why does this make them opponents to each other? Because fighting someone who's just able of the same things you are just contrary is awesome, it's exciting and with super strength and flying, I bet they have a hell of fun (Even though they're not showing it).
 
With these points in regard, I am pretty sure now that Bizarro is evil because he wants what Superman has and because fighting him is a lot of fun to him. Tell me if I'm wrong, and please, tell me what his motives are IF I'm wrong (seriously, it sounds pretty logical to me).
 
Over and out
LassieOfDoom

... can't be unseen.
I was out tonight, watching the new Predators movie. Am I the only one who thinks it's a big load of crap? Not one sentence was original in any way, it's like the author looked through every single action movie script of the past 30 years and collected the most common phrases to put them somewher in the movie. And then this new Predator thing, I mean come on! It's quite easy to make a new Xenomorph, just let the Facehugger in another race's face, but another Predator? HELL NO!!! And where's the effing story? "Hey, we're in a jungle! Oh, let's go there. Oh, we're on another Planet. Dammit, we're hunted. Taddaaa, I killed a Predator!" For those of you who remember, the 1st Predator movie had a story, the 2nd at least something similiar. But this piece of horses**t doesn't.
The last thought i had today was "My entire life, not just my childhood, has been raped!", and it made me come to think of other movies that raped everything and everyone I ever loved.
 No one wants to hear about it? I don't care! Here they are, unfortunately not in a specific order:
 
Batman Forever / Batman and Robin
Whooohooooo!!! Batman faces his most evil villain. He can't find him, he never will. Joel Schuhmacher lives behind the 4th wall, and so he can't be tracked by Batman while spoiling the drinking water with LSD... Seriously, I thought this would be the story. Please, these movies include Arnold Schwarzenegger as Mr. Freeze, Jim Carrey as the Riddler and George "Mr. permanent most charming smile on earth" effing Clooney. He's grinning the entire movie. Maybe he was laughing about how ridiculous Freeze's ice dancers where.
 
Spiderman 3
... Just... Lemme go... I wanna cry... I'm pretty sure that most of you have seen this bollocks, and most of you know what I mean. Venom too short, Sandman too... sandy and Harry... He's such an emo in those movies. And Peter? Turning from shy guy to a**hole to hero doesn't help him, he's just boring (in those movies, especially in the 3rd one). What also disturbed me a lot was the symbiont forming himself like a human hand during lightning. It must have known that things like this scare the everloving crap out of everybody (no, it didn't).
 
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
... 'nuff said...
 
Die Hard 4.0
Okay, the 4th wasn't the worst. I liked the story about the firesale, but there are 4 elements that make this movie the 2nd worst Die Hard:
1.: Justin Long
2.: Making a car driving into a flying helicopter
3.: Being so lucky that those two cars came by that prevented our heroes from being smashed by a third one that did a barrel roll towards them through the air... WTF?
4.: "Shooting" on a helicopter by hitting a hydrant with a car, thus making water shooting up in the air, hitting the gunman in the helicopter, making him fall and die
5.: Justin Long
 
Hulk
The Eric Bana one. Hulk himself looked so incredibly cheap. Nick Nolte... who or what the hell was he supposed to be? I kinda thought of Absorbing Man, but he was too powerful for that. Jennifer Connelly played far worse than she could have. And Eric effing Bana... God, he's so extremely boring, he has as many faces as Steven Segal. Compare it to Norton: He was serious, he was vicious, he was desperate... And you could tell just by looking at his face. But worst thing of all where the superpowered dogs. That's it. I also hate Lockjaw, just because he is a superpowered dog. I mean wtf? Superpowered dogs? The cooles amongst them is Terror, because he f**ks when told to do so. No other superpowered dogs allowed.
 
Resident Evil: Extinction / Resident Evil: Afterlife
Yeah, you heard right. I'm willing to accept the 1st two just because of the measurment on the suckometer for the 2nd two. Afterlife hasn't been released here yet, and I don't know about the states, but if it is even remotely as bad as Extinction, it will be worth suicide after 5 minutes. So, let me focus on Extinction, that I've already seen:
hundreds of dead Alice clones, Zombie taming, flat-head-Wesker, Dragonball-like fighting scenes and Alice Abernathy. I somehow like her, cause she's a skilled, beautiful woman. But totally overpowered, especially for the RE-Universe.
 
X-2 / X-Men: The last Stand / X-Men Origins: Wolverine
The 1st one was pretty cool. not really good, surely not bad, but pretty cool. What remains is crap. X-2: Where is my story? What does this Stryker have to do with the comic striker? Seriously, please, someone's gotta tell me. Okay, this is nothing what X-2 can be blamed for, but I always wondered how one can call a German Kurt Wagner. We'd make fun of a guy with that name, just for everyone to know.
X-Men: The last Stand: No one, really, not one single charakter here (besides maybe the Beast and Angel) look anything like their comic counterparts. Really. and again, what was the story? Who hided the plot?
X-Men Origins: Wolverine: Just because of what they did with Deadpool.
 
Peter Jackson's King Kong
 Too long, too crappy, I hate Adrian Brody cause he has only one impression, no one will ever beat the young Fay Wray in screaming and oh my goood... Kong in Manhattan... Please, please, please, please, please, someone must be able to explain me WHY Ann Darrow was looking for Kong in the city instead of waiting till he grabs her, and there must be one living being in the universe that must be able to tell me what the f**k they were thinking when Ann and Kong were ice skating in Central Parc.
 
G.I. Joe
Okay, I gotta admit that I've never seen the original series and I never played with the action figures. G.I. Joe wasn't really popular here, but this movie is even able to suck on its own. It's a bunch of clichè characters (tough women, the charming super-soldier slash most-effing-romantic-guy-on-effing-earth, the black guy that never shuts his mouth cause he thinks everything's he gotta say is important and the damn-I'm-evil-guy) in a movie that copycats the most popular action movies of the last decade. What's really bugging me and what I will never forget is the submarine fight, where they took an entire scene from the opening battle in Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith. Speaking of which...
 
Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace / Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones / Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith
 I'd really like to skip those... they make me cry... Jar Jar Binks, stupid dialogues (especially between Anakin and Padmé), Grievous was disappointing, "NOOOOOEEEES!!1!" at the end of Revenge of the Sith, CGI-Yoda, story falls back behind action scenes. 
 
Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li
Is there anything in this movie even similiar to the games? Didn't think so... It's even worse than the 1st Street Fighter Movie, at least they tried back then. But this one... just no!
 
I bet I forgot some (I've seen... For example, haven't seen Garfield, Chipmunks or Superman Returns), but it's enough for now. Im gonna cry myself to sleep today.
 
Greetings from Germany to everyone who's reading this!
LassieOfDoom