Why I Hate Star Wars...
By inferiorego 79 Comments
May 18th, 1999... 10pm
I was almost finished with my junior year of high school... I stood in line at the movie theater that I would work at 10 months into the future.... My friend Joe and I are close to the front of the line, a line going around the block to the century old theater... We have lightsabers and annoyingly whip each other across the heads when the other wasn't looking. We weren't dressed up, just in street clothes.... and my blue mohawk. Numerous people are dressed as Jedis, yet no one dressed as troopers, no Darth Vader, just annoying Jedis. We were about 15th in line, and as the doors opened, the son of the mayor pulls up and cuts in line. They proceed to the balcony, and take the front row.... I'm already pissed. We sit down next to some other friends from school and the lights go down... Everyone starts to cheer, we're ALL exicted. Those oh so familiar opening credits roll up the screen.... I'm glued to my seat. The movie plays and as excited as I am, I'm lost by the time we get to pod-racing...
I sit, watch... Gungans... It seems everything I love about the original series has been watered down. The danger and excitement aren't there as much anymore. My childhood has died.... Ok, not really... But the same thing happened with Parts II & III, sure I think the movies are just "ok", but overall, I was incredibly disappointed. I didn't really 100% figure out why until last year.
One Reason I Hate Star Wars:
The screenplays were written by George Lucas. Not all of them, but... well.. bare with me...You may say, "IE, what about A New Hope? He wrote the screenplay for that!" Yes, he certainly did, but that film in itself was a rip off of so many other films. No, I'm not ragging on him for ripping off something. To quote one of my old band mates, Eric Hutchins, "Good artists borrow, great artists steal." He was refering to music in that instance, but sure, it can apply to movies too. So I have no qualms about A New Hope. When we get to Empire Strikes Back (best out of the series) & Return to the Jedi, no written by Lucas. The story was developed by him, but not the actual screenplay. The prequels were all written by him, and they were awful. The story wasn't god awful, but the dialogue, which leads into character development a lot for his films.... is awful. Point in case: "Hey Anakin, I know you really want to be good, but you have all this angst and I know we've only been friends for like 5 days, but can you.... kill all the younglings?" "um... ok...." Really? That's all it takes for you to not only go against EVERYTHING you've been taught in Jedi Academy, but also to do some dude's bidding you just met? SHENANIGANS! and the dialogue between Portman and Christiansen was sad. Sad in a way where it made me question why I bought a ticket. Was the acting sub-par? At times, overall I say it wasn't... I blame it massivly on Lucas' writing ability. He's amazing with coming up with a story, but falls short when writing it out.
Revelation:
I rented Fanboys with one of my buddies... We turned in on, sat back and watched. Neither of us are psychotic when it comes to the films (Star Wars), we've seen the originals enough times to be able to recite certain areas of dialogue, but we don't know the name of the character in the far background. But, I digress, we watched Fanboys, and while I understood every joke, I laughed at almost none of them. Some of my more obsessive friends assured me the film was hilarious, but I really didn't laugh. And that's when it hit me, I have a soft spot in my heart for the original trilogy, I still love them. But when it comes to all the rest of the hoopla in the Star Wars Universe... I hate it, I can't stand it.... It's over-rated garbage existing ONLY to make money.And let the counterpointing begin....