GS and DM's Swole Your Role: The Bro Edition!

Yo, yo, yo, bros. It's D-Midge and Gee-$ with another edition of Swole your Role. Where we turnin your YOLO into SWOLO. We got the answers to the hottest questions, so let's get right to it.

"How often should I do legs?"

GS: Bro. Bro. Bro. You don't need to do legs. You just need to focus on chest, biceps, and shoulders, bro. Girls don't care about overall appearance. Girls don't hang on ya legs and go "man, them thighs be sexy." They don't go "Them calves are hot." Bro, you be wearin' shorts anyway. It don't matter. You need to do bench press and curls every day. You wake up, first thing you do is bench and curl. You get that pump started early. When you feel that pump fadin, do more curls. Carry a bag with ya. Keep some a dem weights in the bag and curl til you get them veins poppin.

DM: Legs? Waitaminute, waitaminute, waitaminute... *gives look of distress* Bruh, you ever seen Hugh Jackedman or Superman work out their legs? Nah bruh and you know why? Because the ladies only check out that upper body man! They don't care for your legs! They want to be drooling all over your swole pecs and your tree-trunk biceps son!

But hold up... I only make one exception. Bodacious buttchecks. Yeah, that's right. I work them lunges and squats not for my legs but to get a rock hard behind you feeling me?

"How do I lift more in my workouts?"

GS: Yo, bro. I'll break it down step by step for ya.

  1. Wear a muscle shirt. It is scientifically proven by scientists or something that if you wear a muscle shirt, you can lift more. It's called a muscle shirt for a reason, bro. You don't wanna wear that T-shirt. You know what else starts with T? Tits, bro. You don't want them flabby man tits, you want pecs. You know what else starts with P? Pump. And as a meathead you want that pump. It's ya goal. A pec is a muscle, hence muscle shirt. See? Science, bro. I would know, I'm a masstrophysicist.
  2. Pace around the machine or weights you're usin'. You're an animal. You stalk that b*tch like it's a piece of meat and you're hungry. You're hungry for the pump.
  3. Slap your face. Get psyched. Growl. Let everyone know who is the king, you are. You lift the weight, bro, the weight don't lift you.
  4. Scream when you move the weight and make a face. When you scream, adrenaline gets goin' and by making a face, you be activatin more muscle fibers in ya body at once. Science, bro. More muscles recruited=more weight= bigger pump. Duh.

DM: Eh man, my bro over here pretty much covered the basics for all you gents (and ladies) who want to get swole. People like to tell you that it's about proper training and diet and all that fancy, schmancy nonsense. GET OUT OF MY HOUSE! Man, all you have to do is workout for HOURS ON END. You lift that weight until you tore every muscle in your body and then you keep lifting it! But as Gee-$ laid it out, you have to rep the proper attire! Ain't no walking in with some goofy shoes and special shirts. NAH! You rip off that shirt in the middle of your damn set! Look like an animal, work out like an animal. Bruh's be mirin the entire time, BELIEVE THAT!

"How much cardio should I do?"

GS: Pfft, cardio? Yo, D-Midge, ya see this question? Cardio. Hah. Only two kinds of people do cardio: chicks and uhh....well, marathon runners or some sh*t. But you ain't a chick or a marathon runner, you're a man, bro. Bros don't run, they lift.

DM: I see it bruh... I ain't never seen the nerve of someone bringing up this cardio in my business. Eh man, you like cardio? That's fine but if you want to make dem gains and get swoooollllleeeee, STOP HITTING THAT CARDIOOOOOO! Ain't nothing worse than a blood pumping pec bananza only to ruin it with some pathetic muscle burning sessions of cycling or stairmaster. Get up off my land son. Ain't nobody got time for that.

"When is the best time for protein?"

GS: Bro, when ISN'T the best time for protein, bro? Anytime is good for brotein. You got muscles that need feedin, you feed them that brotein. Start ya day after that bench with 20 raw eggs. Slam that sh*t down and you good. Lunch rolls around, whatcha gonna do? Eat brotein. Eat dat steak. Put it in ya pocket. You eat it on the go since you a On-The-Go-Bro. 2 PM rolls around, you hungry yet? You should be. You shoulda set that protein clock. Slam a shake. Hell, slam 3. Get them shakes. You a machine, son. Feed it that fuel ya need to be a hot rod.

DM: Eh man listen, you eat at every opportune moment and when- Oh the hell with these fancy, big words! Man, you eat that protein during your workout, before your workout, after your workout! When you're driving, sleeping, working! You don't eat that protein, dem gains be slipping away as we speak bruh!

"What should I eat to get big?"

GS: You need a steady diet of eggs, dead animals like ya cows, chickens, and pigs, and the nightly intake of beer and patr'on. Real bros drink patron. You don't seem them skinny kids and chubby dudes drinkin patron, bro. You only see bros.

DM: Anything bruh. Grab anything you find, it's all just protein, carbs and fats. Ain't no thing as food groups baby! Ain't no picky picky with this! You see some of that cheap Mcky Dee's? You buy seven of them big macs. Dem gains be coming faster than you believe bruh! You buying a pizza? Better make that two just for you! That's how you get big and swole.

And there you have, bros, and brodettes. You now have the necessary tools and knowledge to get big. Have a nice day, and remember, Swole your Role!!

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Edited By Pyrogram
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Posted By DecoyElite

@laflux said:

@theacidskull: The problem isn't me, the problem is everyone else!!!!

*Weeps silently while listening to Taylor Swift*

what the f*ck do you expect when you make comments like "ends in Sex" on User vs User threads? especially when YOU are one of the USERS who is pitted against someone else.

At least he's not lying to himself, unlike some users. :P

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Posted By laflux


At least he's not lying to himself, unlike some users. :P

be nice to pyro. he is in the closet. he'l come out soon.

Your form is good today. But don't forget where you came from...................

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Posted By DecoyElite

@laflux said:

@theacidskull said:

At least he's not lying to himself, unlike some users. :P

be nice to pyro. he is in the closet. he'l come out soon.

Your form is good today. But don't forget where you came from...................

Georgia?

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Posted By laflux

@pyrogram said:

@deranged_midget said:

@god_spawn: Get that tip all swwwwwwooooolllllleeeee

hahahahahah

You see I would usually screenshot this straight away. But because of Deranged Midget I will abate.

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Edited By Pyrogram

said:

@theacidskull said:

@laflux said:

@theacidskull: The problem isn't me, the problem is everyone else!!!!

*Weeps silently while listening to Taylor Swift*

what the f*ck do you expect when you make comments like "ends in Sex" on User vs User threads? especially when YOU are one of the USERS who is pitted against someone else.

At least he's not lying to himself, unlike some users. :P

be nice to pyro. he is in the closet. he'l come out soon.

Keep me outta these things or else you'know, you'll offend somebody (like you did ;) with your caveman style comebacks.

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Edited By laflux

@decoyelite: No he was belched from the open legs of the Underworld, heavy with seed. My Seed. Its why @theacidskull is so angry, particularly at me. He has abandonment issues >:P

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Edited By Pyrogram


@theacidskull said:

@laflux said:

@theacidskull: The problem isn't me, the problem is everyone else!!!!

*Weeps silently while listening to Taylor Swift*

what the f*ck do you expect when you make comments like "ends in Sex" on User vs User threads? especially when YOU are one of the USERS who is pitted against someone else.

At least he's not lying to himself, unlike some users. :P

be nice to pyro. he is in the closet. he'l come out soon.

Keep me outta these things or else you'know, you'll offend somebody (like you did ;) with your caveman style comebacks.

true.

Good.

Keep that Georgian Homophobia to yourself now man, don't wanna show the wrong impressions to the forums do we? You ship guys like it's a thing of the devil. True colors revealing...And they aint the LGBT community colors either...You told me you'd resist making homophobic jokes...Looks like an tiger cannot change it stripes after all.

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Posted By Pyrogram

@theacidskull: O____o Did you just admit you're homophobic? Well I cannot judge. Culture differences and such.

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Posted By Pyrogram
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Posted By Pyrogram

@theacidskull: I'm only playing by the way. You know I'm never serious during these trash talks!

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Edited By Pyrogram

@theacidskull said:

@pyrogram said:

@theacidskull: You said

uh-hu.

That's an agreeable gesture.

didn't read your post to be honest. i assumed you were calling me a mindless perv as usual. plus didn't we just agree to lay of the gay jokes to not offend others? and you already forgot that? weak, man.

YOU made the gay jokes. Wtf? I was telling you not too. And again, your lack of originality shows in your caveman comebacks. I literally just said what you said two or so posts above this.

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Edited By laflux

@pyrogram said:

@theacidskull: I'm only playing by the way. You know I'm never serious during these trash talks!

I also would like to take the opportunity to say that I was joking about being theacidskull's father

Having a romantic relationship with your son is too twisted, even for me..........

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Posted By Pyrogram

@laflux said:

@pyrogram said:

I'm only playing by the way. You know I'm never serious during these trash talks!

I also would like to take the opportunity to say that I was joking about being theacidskull's father

Having a romantic relationship with your son is too twisted, even for me..........

haha :P

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Posted By DecoyElite

This is now the bromance thread.

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Edited By Pyrogram
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Posted By laflux
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Posted By DecoyElite
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Posted By Pyrogram
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Edited By lvenger

The bromance is strong in this thread.

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Edited By laflux

@lvenger: You forced my hand.

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This post in particular

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Finish sorting things out with Sam before you start throwing stones.

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Posted By lvenger

@laflux said:

@lvenger: You forced my hand.

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This post in particular

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Finish sorting things out with Sam before you start throwing stones.

NOOOOOO, YOU BROKE MY COVER! DAMN YOU LAFLUX AND YOUR CUNNING PRINT SCREENS! DAMN YOU ALL TO HELLL! :P

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