DP812

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No more issue titles?

I've noticed something about several of Marvel's comics lately, and that is that they seem to be doing away with titles for issues. And it seems random, because there are times when an issue will carry a title and others when it won't. Not even on the credits/recap page. I double-checked these issues on ComicBookDB.com, and they confirm that there aren't any titles (granted, that's all user-generated content but still).

This seems really bizarre to me. Why do away with such a long-standing tradition not only in comics, but in storytelling as well? There was a time when one-shot stories of only a few pages in Marvel Comics Presents would receive titles, but now multi-issue story-arcs have nothing.

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Smallville finale

This review over at Mania sums it up perfectly: http://www.mania.com/smallville-ser

To rip off John Oesterle, there's one one word to describe it: supershit.

Here are just a few of the most ridiculous points. WARNING! HERE BE SPOILERS!

-We get three video recaps of the past ten seasons. One at the very beginning in the "previously on Smallville" thing and two during the series. We know what happened over the past ten years. Please don't remind us. We wish we could forget.

-Clark goes to Martha, who's distraught and asks if it's about Jonathan. She then starts talking about Jonathan and Clark asks, "why bring up Dad on a day like this?" Does Clark have a broken short-term memory like Guy Pearce in Memento?

-Lionel needs to kill Tess because Lex's cloning procedure wasn't able to replicate a heart. So Lex needs a heart in order to live. The cloning process must have downgraded, because we've seen several clones already.

-Tess is surprised that Lex managed to clone himself. She's apparently forgotten about all the other clones they've already encountered. Even the one she was fucking raising.

-Darkseid uses Lionel's heart to bring Lex to life. This was a stupid idea because Lex then goes off and encourages Clark to become Superman.

-Gold kryptonite apparently steals Clark's powers for good. But it'll only work if it's a ring on his finger. Because despite being in close proximity to the gold kryptonite, it has no effect on him.

-Granny Goodness, Desaad, and Godfrey are very powerful villains who gave Clark trouble. Green Arrow defeats them by shooting each of them with a magic arrow. I'm not fucking kidding -- Ollie has three arrows that sparkle, shoots them all at once at the three, and then they disintegrate.

-And those villains? They know Green Arrow is really Ollie. Everyone on the planet knows because Ollie publicly revealed his identity. Yet for some reason, when he's in costume Ollie is still using that ridiculous voice synthesizer!

-Clark defeats Darkseid by punching him. And he gets rid of Apokolips by pushing it away. That's it. An entire season of build-up for a climax that lasted a few seconds.

-Clark goes to the Fortress of Solitude and his suit bursts up, breaking through the ground in some crystal case. Keep in mind that we've seen the suit in the Fortress a few times so far. In the episode RIGHT before this, the suit is clearly on display. How it suddenly moved beneath the floor and was sealed in there is never explained, but why explain it? It's COOL when shit breaks!

-Air Force One is going to crash...apparently. Superman flies in and saves the plane. He does this by tilting it thirty degrees. The plane is then completely fine. I guess the pilot was absent from flight school on the day that they taught that pulling back on the stick makes the plane go up.

-Also the Justice League was formed to fight massive threats. The planet about to be destroyed must not register as a massive threat because the Justice League is nowhere to be seen. Even Ollie is just standing on the street in civies with other bystanders. Way to be a hero, Ollie!

-Lex kills Tess with a sword...but not before she can wipe some magic lotion on him that will erase his mind. This is how Lex isn't completely retarded for not knowing Superman's identity. And yet this explanation is completely retarded because the writers don't realize that wiping a person's entire memory means they're a blank slate. This show, at least at first, was also about Lex's journey to becoming a villain. Lex's entire backstory in Smallville has been rendered pointless.

-But if Lex does want to know who Superman is, all he has to do is go to a comic shop. Because the show ends seven years in the future where Chloe and Ollie have a son and Chloe is reading him a comic book called Smallville which is all about how Clark Kent became Superman. Come on, writers -- now you're just fucking with us.

-Ten seasons of Smallville are apparently condensed into one, twenty-two page comic book. If only...

-Chloe tells her son that there will always be more adventures for another day. He then looks at some yellow arrows on the wall. Why not just go right out and call him Roy? 

-Chloe and Ollie must live on the other side of the world. Even though it's night time and she's putting her son to sleep, she then calls Lois who's at the Daily Planet in the middle of the day.

-Jimmy Olsen died a few seasons ago. Yet Jimmy appears as a Planet photographer seven years in the future. This is explained because this is Jimmy's brother. He's also named Jimmy. Not a whole lot of naming creativity in the Olsen family.

-Clark and Lois' wedding was disrupted by Ollie. Seven years later, they still haven't rescheduled. Clark proposed to Lois this season and she said yes. Then they rush to get married. It gets disrupted and they decide to wait seven years before rescheduling. Are you fucking kidding me? Oh, and Clark apparently calls his fiance "Miss Lane." Romance!


I've seen a number of really glowing reviews of this episode. It makes me wonder if people were watching this while incredibly fucking stoned.    

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