ASPECT: The IRRITATING Ant Man Pt. 3
By feebadger 1 Comments
D: So, Ant Man?
A: Yes, Doc?
D: Do you believe in God?
A: I believe in a God.
D: What’s it like, this God of yours?
A: Well… it’s big. I know that for certain.
D: You mean, you’ve actually seen your God?!
A: Oh yes. Loads of times! It’s big. It blocks out the sun and it provides us with sustenance.
D: Wow. That’s amazing.
A: I know. It’s also brown, has a lid and sits on a picnic blanket.
D: That’s a picnic basket.
A: Yes. God.
D: Your God is a picnic basket?
A: My God is ALL picnic baskets. I’m an ant!
D: But you’re an Ant MAN. What does the ‘man’ portion of you recognize as God?
A: Ponch.
D: Pardon?
A: Ponch is God. You know… from C.H.I.P.S?
D: Oh! You mean Erik Estrada?
A: I don’t know what you’re talking about. I mean Ponch.
D: But Ponch is just a fictional character. He’s played in the television show C.H.I.P.S by actor, Erik Estrada.
A: Uh, no. C.H.I.P.S is a documentary. Ponch is real. Ponch is God.
D: This explains so much about you.
A: Oh, you have no idea.
D: So what do you think happens to you after you die? You become a motorcycle cop in tight, tan pants?
A: No. When you die you go up to the great sugar bowl in the sky.
D: And what is this place called?
A: I call it Barry.
D: So when you die you go to “Barry?”
A: That’s right.
D: Barry, the giant bowl of sugar?
A: Exactly. Hey, you must have read Barry’s Bible or something!
D: Barry’s Bible? What’s that?
A: It’s the gospel according to Barry. Have a look. I’ve got a copy right here.
D: It’s a napkin.
A: It’s a bible.
D: It’s written in crayon.
A: Amazing isn’t it?
D: It’s pretty hard to read, but according to this only the very, very good go up to Barry, the great sugar bowl in the sky. Whereas the evil go to W… Wis…
A: Wisconsin.
D: Oh.
A: If you’re particularly evil, you go to bed without your supper.
D: And are you good or evil?
A: I’m Ant Man.
D: That pretty much says it all.
A: Thanks, Doc.
D: Pleasure, Ant Man.
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