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Ethan Daniels is a typical bachelor who suffers from one, infallible truth: dealing with the opposite sex can be complicated. One night, he bumps into a mysterious woman who will change his life… and maybe even the world.
Ethan Daniels lives in Pennystown, a small community in the middle of nowhere. His interactions with the ladies has been nearly non-existent. As such, he misinterprets many innocent situations to be come-ons. For instance, while working at the Teenie Weenie, Pennystown's grocery store, Howard and Ying-Ma McCallister's daughter asks Ethan to squeeze her melons, which he interprets as grabbing her breasts. (She clearly means her cantaloupes.) Later at the bar, the town flirt sits on Ethan's lap and tries to get him out of a funk. Ethan takes the gesture to mean that she wants to sleep with him. Hoping to make his ex-girlfriend jealous, Ethan kisses Alexis. She flips out and sends Ethan into a tailspin.
Having been humiliated by the event with Alexis, Ethan flips out and begins verbally abusing all the women in the bar, including the McCallister's daughter (whom he had invited). Each of the bar patrons are shocked at Ethan's behavior and the town cop tosses Ethan out and into the rain. Embarrassed, Ethan shouts. The rain suddenly stops. Everyone looks at Ethan as if his rage has stopped the rain. Ethan drives off in a frenzy.
On the road, Ethan nearly hits something. He hops out of his car and finds a naked girl in the road. She is hurt and passes out in his arms. He takes her to his car and drives her to his house to patch her up. A grizzled man and his son emerge from the bushes to see the girl taken away by Ethan. They swear that they will find the girl and kill her.