Ask Wheatley Anything

I've seen people do this before and it seemed fun.

I'll reply in-character to your questions.

Pick a character or get a random one.

Character Roster:

@doctor_wheatley

@shot

@rye

@arnold-the-beast

@a-pack-of-bandits

@a-friend

@vvarrior

@braum

@kor

@purveyor

@tzhaar

@pepsi-man

@lass

@dandy

@iron-washington

@jack-the-ripper

What is the music of life?

Wheatley

The human was laid underneath him.

Cracking his knuckles he was preparing to embrace his fingers in the pitched noise he was going to feed them to. Each crack oozed out the tension of his addiction as the mans fingers became more relaxed by the release of stress. Lifting the shirt over the sleeping humans head ever so gently. Wheatley felt around until he located the best sound of the body. Like a person at the grocery store checking if the fruit are ripe enough. The frame that laid before him was skinny and you could shape out the melody of bones. It was awe-inspiring. His hand claimed the position underneath the cage of ribs and with his blunt fist he pushed the sprinkling bones upwards in a fast motion. 'CRACK' 'CRACK' 'CRACK'

The man awoke and the melody of his skeleton getting crushed accompanied his faint screams..It was an orchestra to the doctors ears as the fluid of the fruit smoothy swished and swirled. It was a good enough coconut and ready to eat. Cracking it open then drinking the juice.

"The sound of good fruit"

Wheatley I'm injured can you sew my arm back on but with out scars?

There was a fawn asking for the care of my cradle. It was disoriented with agony as it limped towards me. I could smell the perfume of pain that had it dazed. It was barely conscience as it collapsed at my feet. Tears on the surface of fat and bruised fibres. No living thing would dare be in its position. The child was weak in this state. So I rocked the fawn to sleep.

I wouldn't just heal it back to health. I'M GOING TO MAKE IT STRONGER.

"The real question is, will I heal you? yes.. Will I Clean You? YES. WILL THERE BE SCARS? --"

The child woke up in a dark laboratory room. The weight of his limbs felt different, not injured but hefty. He felt his breathing was promoted as it welcomed in the putrid dust and poisonous environment around him. Roaming scents of his very own flesh appetized his nose. They changed him. Evolved him.

The child removed the blanket that curtained the surprise that the laboratory gifted upon to his injured body. Revealing a utopia of man and Wheatley's nature swarming through the hulls of his body. It was a play land that the doctor gave him.

" -JUST LOOK AT ME"

"But for you my dear, I wouldn't dare ruin such nice skin you have"

@doctor_wheatley: Thanks Uncle, love you! *kisses him on cheek*

Do you love me?

"Can you rattle my bones? Provide succulent lubricate to my aching joints? TICKLE ME TIMBERS?" The pirate looked down at the boy and shook his head in disappointment. He was of the living, untainted and didn't serve his cause. UNFIT to be part of his crew the skeleton would laugh and mock the presence. It was an absurd question and out of nowhere, he could only evaluate it as a joke. A bad one, he needed to be punished for such a frail attempt to 'rattle his bones'

"OFF TO THE PLANK!' The captain commanded.

Sending the boy fourth the roaring water below their feet. "Jump! Jump! Go on~ The sea is our mother, and nobody can deny a mothers love!"

@doctor_wheatley:

(For @pepsi-man )

What do you think of fanta drinks?

" It's a flavor impure! How dare you think of such a concoction so vile! You should be thinking of Pepsi! Pepsi All the time! Fanta is the carbonated drink that marches across your tongue forcefully! Stampeding and pillaging its buds with a cluster of artillery flavored blast. There is no rhythmic sizzle. The orange flavor corridors a straight path to the salty sea! While Pepsi takes you on an adventure, you're free! Something so vile would annex your thirst instead of eternally quenching you! "

@pepsi-man: This reply, it pleases me. You seriously made me smile from that, which isn't all that common for reading on the internet.

@admirallogic:

Must be fun at parties.

@hound_of_war:

I'm too busy analyzing how to effeciently kill them all and get away with it for such foolishness as...fun.

@doctor_wheatley:

Phonos: What exactly are you?

@shot: