Things you don t want said at your wedding

Groom:  "Honey, are you alright?"

Bride:  "I think my water just broke."

"Mother in Law stands up

I'd like to say a few words before we fold up the tables and start square dancing"

I still want my child support

"If he's the best man, why the hell's she marrying that guy?"

"A bride only asks two things of her groom: that he doesn't try to run her life, and that he doesn't try to run his life either."

"Mother in Law stands up

I'd like to say a few words before we fold up the tables and start square dancing"

this was said at mine

"don't forget to pull out man,no babies"

April Fools.

"You are the father"

You know Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.

Do you take her to be your wife: uuuuhhhh no!

Best Man: I banged her.

"Don't put it in the butt!"

husband:"thank you for marrying us father, how do you know my wife?"

Priest:"My son....would you ever hurt anyone in your family?"

Husband: "never! why do you ask?"

Priest: "good, because we're Eskimo brothers"

"Hey, does the flower girl's parents drive a white van? Cause one sped off with her in it."