8 I've always liked that one
(this is a short version, I promise) So there's this guy who gets lost in the desert, right? Well, he stumbles across these weird ruins, and finds there's a piller with a lever on it, and guarding it is this snake. The snake says "Hello, I'm Nate. Do you need help?" "Um, yeah." the guy says. "I'm lost, thirsty, and I need water." So the snake says "Alright, I'll find you water if you promise to keep this place a secret." The man agrees, and the snake finds the man a glass of water. "Where did you find water way out here, Nate? And in such a pretty cup, too." the guy says. The snake replies "I know all of the secrets of the world." The guy asks "All of them?" "All of them," answers the snake. After a bit of thinking, the guy asks "So what does the lever do?" The snake tells him, "This lever, when pulled will instantaneously kill every human being in the world." "Wow" the guy remarks. "That's a lot of responsibility." "It is" replies Nate the Snake. "That's why you must never tell anyone about this place." The guy nods, and turns to leave, but before he does, Nate says "Before you leave, there's one more thing. As protector of the secret of the lever, you may return here whenever you wish to ask me about anything, so long as you don't bring anyone else here." After Nate finishes speaking the guy leaves, and doesn't return for a long time.
Years later, the guy has a Master's Degree, a great job, and respect from all of his piers, and he was able to do those things all by himself. But there's one thing he can't figure out how to do, and that's win the heart of a lovely woman he works with. He ponders it for a very long time, until finally, he remembers Nate. He really wants to win this woman over, and knows he won't be able to figure it out, so he decides he's gonna go back to the secret ruins. So he takes his Jeep out into the desert, and he's riding on top of a dune, and he's almost there, when suddenly, his Jeep starts sliding down the dune into the ruins, and he's struggling to regain control. When he gets control of the vehicle back, he's on a collision course, about to hit the pillar with the lever. He's got a choice at that moment, he can hit the pillar, and possibly activate the lever, killing all of humanity, or he can veer to the left, and run over the snake, killing it. And he shouts at the top of his lungs...
"BETTER NATE THAN LEVER!"
(This is actually a short version of "the longest joke in the world", which can be found at the dawtcawm of the same name)
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