Earth Awesome! #1

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thespideyguy

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#1  Edited By thespideyguy

This is a fan-fic in my own universe. It is rated T+. If you have not read the prelude go here http://www.comicvine.com/forums/fan-fic/8/earth-awesome-prelude/739459/#1. Please comment and tell me what you think.

" Hey guys. By now you probably seen the prelude to my glorious web series. And if you have that means you can watch this wonderful first episode and it will not disappoint. It follows the epic life of Todd McAwesome. The series will juggle romance, action and all around awesomeness. And her is what I mean by awesomeness is zombies, clone, cyborgs, and action all incorporated in modern society." I said looking my computer's webcam.

"HONEY WHO ARE YOU TALKING TO TODD?" yelled my mom. I love her but boy can she yell.

"WEB CASTING, MA" I replied.

"BE SAFE HONEY, INTERNET PEOPLE RAPE." Mom yelled back.

I then looked back at his computer and realized he was still web casting. "Oh shit" I said as I reached to turn it off. I realized that i leaned forward to far and then fell out of my chair.

***

"McAwesome, the boss wants you in the office." said Pete. Pete is pretty much my best friend here. We had one class together in junior college. He will always be there for you. So it feels bad not telling him about my crusade.

I walked to the stairs, then all the way up to the executive floor. I looked out the window once I got to the floor. I see what I see everyday. The hardworking people of Train City working for the betterment of society. Although there are people working for this city there are people working to destroy what we have built. That is why I have started my crusade.

My crusade is to do right by the fair people of Train City. It isn't Law enforcement it is Justice enforcement. At night I am crime fighter normally it is a zombie pack or a run away clone but it makes a difference.

"What are you looking at?" asked Lizzy.

Lizzy is a nice girl, she is classy and a looker.

"Nothing Lizzy." I replied.

"Yeah sometimes I like to look to, you know it feels like it is perfect. No matter what happens down there it looks good from up here." Lizzy said.

"Maybe that is why no one does anything to help. Maybe all the people who can help are up her and see nothing wrong." I said. "Anyway I have to get to the boss."

***

"Listen Todd, you are a stand up employee but we feel we need drive from you." The boss was telling me.

"Drive? Listen I do this stuff and it is easy I am focused. If it looks like I am not focused it is probably because it is easy to easy." I responded.

Right then it happened.

Go here: http://www.comicvine.com/forums/fan-fic/8/earth-awesome-2/740359/#2

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thespideyguy

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#2  Edited By thespideyguy

Please comment and tell me what I can do better.

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batkevin74

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#3  Edited By batkevin74

@thespideyguy said:

It is rated PG.

"BE SAFE HONEY, INTERNET PEOPLE RAPE." Mom yelled back.

Todd then looked back at his computer and realized he was still web casting. "Oh shit" I said as I reached to turn it off.

I'd change you're rating to an M honestly

@thespideyguy said:

Todd then looked back at his computer and realized he was still web casting.

It should I looked back etc because it's told in first person

Not bad, good start, let's see what else you got up your sleeve

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TheCannon

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#4  Edited By TheCannon

@thespideyguy: Cool.

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andrewtheking

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#5  Edited By andrewtheking

@TheCannon said:

@thespideyguy: Cool.

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White Assassin

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#6  Edited By White Assassin

i like it keep it coming. ready for some fighting