#1 Edited by GR2Blackout (2931 posts) - - Show Bio

It was a dark night in the North Pole.

Santa Hamster was just getting back home from a party at Jim's bar/gym/storage place.

Suddenly, he was mugged by some gnomes.

"Hand over all yer money, Hamsta!" said one of the gnomes.

Gnomes are like elves, but they work for Mother Nature, not Santa.

These gnomes were evil, though.

Santa Hamster pulled out his razor-sharp candy cane and killed the gnomes.

But something wasn't right.

Usually, gnomes are peaceful.

But these gnomes were, as previously mentioned, evil.

Santa Hamster returned to his house, only to see his house had been robbed.

His pets, Bebop and Rocksteady, who were, despite their names, a snapping turtle and a wolf, were the only things still their.

Thanks a lot, TMNT II: Secret of the Ooze.

Anyway, Santa Hamster took Bebop and Rocksteady to find out what's up.

On his way to wherever he was going, he ran into some squirrel.

"Hey, have ya seen my girlfriend?" said the squirrel.

"Nope, have ya seen Santa Hamster's stuff?" replied Bebop.

"Who's Santa Hamster?" asked the squirrel.

The three heroes continued, and the squirrel just stood there looking for his girlfriend.

Santa Hamster decided they should ask Santa Claus what's going on.

But his pets didn't agree.

"Come one, awesome dudes like us asking a jolly fatso for help would be as crappy as Comicvine's new look!" said Rocksteady.

"I agree, Comicvine looks dopey now... oh, back on topic, YEAH, WHAT ROCKSTEADY SAID!" said Bebop.

Santa Hamster ignored them, and went to Santa.

At Sana's house, Bebop and Rocksteady told Santa about what was happening.

Santa Hamster would've told him, but talking hamsters? That would just be silly.

"Well, ever since the Gnome Guild of Everywhere went on strike, gnomes have been evil as... uh... DISNEY!" said Santa.

"So maybe they ransacked our crib?" asked Bebop.

"Sure, but what do I know, I'm just a fat hobo who lives with a bunch of deer and pointy-eared midgets..." said Santa. "Oh, the sad, sad truth...."

"Um... what?" asked Rocksteady.

"Ignore that..." said Bebop.

So, Santa Hamster and Bebop and Rocksteady set out to get revenge on the gnomes.


#2 Posted by TommytheHitman (5215 posts) - - Show Bio

... what did I just read? Hey @gr2blackout I take it you're back?

#3 Posted by GR2Blackout (2931 posts) - - Show Bio
#4 Edited by dngn4774 (5062 posts) - - Show Bio

@gr2blackout This story is beautifully ridiculous. Something tells me that it would be even better if I read this after drinking a lot of eggnog on the holidays.