#1 Edited by rav4 (1688 posts) - - Show Bio

So, this is my first attempt at writing in full, complete, comic script format, going page by page and panel by panel. I decided to do a one shot of Power Girl and Atlee, because I loved their relationship in the Conner/Palmiotti/Gray run of Power Girl, and I thought it would be fun to write. Of course the format is slightly altered in order to make it work on a forum (I wrote the full script using actual script editing software). Let me know what you guys think! (If anyone even decides to respond. Seems like my fan fics all get very few comments xD). Also, I haven't gone back yet to re-edit it, so if there's any typos I apologize. I'm just too drained to do that right now.

PAGE ONE (six panels)

1. KARA ZOR-L sleeps lazily in her bed. The bedroom of her apartment is somewhat messy, with clothes strewn about the floor. Her orange cat, STINKY, sleeps soundly next to her in bed, curled up peacefully. An alarm clock sits on the nightstand nearby; it reads 5:59 a.m.

2. Small panel. The clock changes to 6:00 a.m., setting off the alarm.


3. Kara opens one eye, reaching over to press the button on the alarm clock, shutting it off. She's tired, reluctant to get up. STINKY lifts his head, looking over at his master and yawning.

KARA (CAPTION): Ugh, I don't want to get up...

4. Kara stands in the shower, washing her hair. Steam billows around her, obscuring most of her figure.

KARA (CAPTION): And I don’t want to go to a press conference today.

5. Kara gets dressed for the day in a grey, female business suit, as well as the red wig and glasses she uses for her secret identity of KAREN STARR.

KARA (CAPTION): But I have to. Responsibilities as a CEO and all.

6.Kara walks out of her apartment building into the busy streets of Brooklyn, New York City.

KARA (CAPTION): Well, it shouldn’t be that bad. What’s the worst that could happen?


PAGE TWO (six panels)

1. Transition: "Starr Enterprises."

We're in one of the higher floors of the Starr Enterprises building, in a corporate meeting room. The back wall is one large window. Karen Starr stands behind a podium, her back to the window, speaking into a microphone. Several Starrware employees dressed in suits, including her friend, NICHOLAS CHO, stand beside her. In front of the podium, a group of potential investors and media personnel have gathered for the press conference. One REPORTER in particular raises her hand to ask a question.

REPORTER: Miss Starr, what can you tell us about your plans to increase your company's fourth quarter profits?

KAREN: My team and I have lined up a variety of projects that should put Starr Enterprises at the forefront of the industry in the near future, --

KAREN (CONT'D): -- not the least of which includes a prototype that will make dangerous jobs, such as construction, up to ten times safer for its workers.

2. A “chest & up” shot of Karen behind the podium, with Nicholas leaning in close to her and holding a hand up near his mouth, so he can whisper to her. Somewhere behind them, the window should be visible, with a small fireball approaching through the sky from the distance.

KAREN: In fact, if you’d like a few details regarding the project --

NICHOLAS (WHISPERING): Actually, we've had to scrap the X-suit for the time being. Test results were... disappointing.

KAREN: -- I’d be happy to fill you in at a later date.

3. Karen straightens her glasses out on her face, while fixing the collar to her shirt. Nicholas, meanwhile, notices something out the window and turns his head to look. A massive fireball is streaking across the skyline.

KAREN: Alright, next question.

NICHOLAS (WHISPERING TO HIMSELF): What the heck is that?

4. Another REPORTER raises his hand. Karen appears somewhat flustered in this panel.

REPORTER: Our sources have reported that your building suffered damage last month from an explosion caused by a faulty experiment. What can you tell us about that?

KAREN: Well, you see --

5. Should be a larger panel. The fireball that had been falling in the previous two panels impacts a nearby street, causing a large explosion visible through the window. Karen turns around in surprise to get a look at the mayhem, while most others react in a panic. Some run towards the window in curious surprise, including the camera crews.

INVESTOR #1 (BURST): Oh my god!

INVESTOR #2 (BURST): What on earth was that?

REPORTER: See if you can get an angle on that!

CAMERAMAN: I got it!

6. Insert panel, showing Karen’s shocked face as she gazes out the window.

KARA (CAPTION): Yeah. What's the worst that could happen, right?


PAGE THREE (eight panels)

1. A shot of Karen and Nicholas standing behind the crowd gathered at the window. Karen appears urgent, already turning to leave the room.

INVESTOR #1 (O.S.): What the hell is that thing?

INVESTOR #2 (O.S.): It looks like some kind of monster!

NICHOLAS (TO KAREN): Looks like a job for Power Girl, if you ask me.

KAREN: She's on it!

2. Karen sprints down a building corridor.

KARA (CAPTION): Figures.

3. Karen bursts into her office, in the process of tearing off her suit. She's already wearing the white leotard of her costume underneath.

KARA (CAPTION): I can't go one day without the city being attacked by some alien monster or mutated dinosaur.

4. Kara stands in front of her open closet, throwing off her wig and glasses, and the Karen Starr identity along with them. The boots and gloves of her costume sit in one corner of the closet, while the belt and cape hang from the hanger pole.

KARA (CAPTION): Guess that’s why I keep a spare set of my costume at the office. For situations just like this.

5. Small shot of Kara putting on her boots.

6. Small shot of Kara putting on her gloves.

7. Small shot of Kara throwing on her half-cape.

8. A full length shot of POWER GIRL now in full costume, clasping the belt around her waist.



PAGE FOUR (Splash)

The shot shows Power Girl front and center, flying diagonally towards the camera with the New York skyline in the background. She looks serious, determined. She has her "game face" on. This is the title page, so leave room for the title and credits.

POWER GIRL (CAPTION): Let's go see whose face I have to punch in this time.

TITLE: Power Girl!

SUB TITLE: in: Can't Catch a Break!

(I'd add in credits if I had credits to add)


PAGE FIVE (six panels):

1. Power Girl flies above the city streets, following a trail of devastation. Most of the road is torn up, with smashed cars overturned onto their sides and burning. A fire hydrant has been torn away, causing a towering geyser of water to spray into the air. The windows of the surrounding buildings are all shattered, and some buildings are even missing large chunks from their structure. A mob of people run in the opposite direction to escape the chaos.

POWER GIRL (CAPTION): Well, at least it won't be difficult to find whatever's causing all this.

2. At the side of the street, a man struggles to break free from a piece of rubble that has fallen onto one of his legs.

MAN: AAAHHH! Someone help! $#!*, it hurts!

3. Power Girl flies down to help the man, using her strength to effortlessly lift the piece of rubble from off the man's leg. This allows him to crawl free.

POWER GIRL: Easy there, I got you.

MAN: Oh wow, you're Power Girl!

4. Close up of the man grinning, with his eyes locked onto Power Girl's chest.

MAN: Man, my friends are never gonna believe this.

5. Power Girl uses a single finger, pressing it to the man's chin, to raise his eyesight up to eye level. She stares at him with a raised eyebrow, and an almost amused smirk. She knows where men's eyes gravitate; she's used to it by now. The man smiles back guiltily.

POWER GIRL: Can you walk?

MAN: Oh, uh, yeah. I think I'm feeling better already.

6. Power Girl continues to fly down the street, as the man heads off in the opposite direction. He looks back over his shoulder, waving to her.

MAN: Thanks again, Power Girl!


PAGE SIX (five panels)

1. Power Girl comes to an intersection, the surrounding streets all torn up just like the previous one. Floating in the air, she looks around curiously.

POWER GIRL (CAPTION): Alright, it has to be around here somewhere.

2. Power Girl looks to her left. In the distance, she sees a small black and white dot flying towards her from down the street.

POWER GIRL (CAPTION): Is that -- ?

3. Insert panel, a close of up Power Girl squinting to get a better look.

4. TERRA flies in like a rocket, going backwards as though struck by some incredible force. Power Girl holds out her arms to catch the girl.


5. Terra, in Power Girl's arms, glances up at her friend with a surprised look on her face. She holds up an arm and points in the direction she came from. Power Girl looks down at her, smirking in amusement.

TERRA: Oh, hey Kara. I found the monster.

TERRA (CONT'D): It's that way.

POWER GIRL: You don't say.


PAGE SEVEN (four panels)

1. A large panel depicting the attacking MONSTER, a hulking monstrosity of muscle, with bright glowing veins. It is bipedal, standing about thirty feet tall, and its head consists of nothing more than a large mouth with razor teeth and two tiny, beady eyes. It swings one of its massive arms, tipped with razor sharp claws, to clobber a nearby car, and opens its mouth wide to emits a hot wave of radiation breath, which burns a hole in the pavement.



2. The monster slams both its arms down on another car. Nearby civilians run away in a panic.


POWER GIRL (O.S.): Hey, Ugly!

3. Insert panel. Should be a close up of the monster his head to look behind him.

MONSTER: Rrruuuhh?

4. Large panel of Power Girl flying full force into the monster, lifting it up off its feet. Terra is in the background, standing atop a hovering chunk of earth and pumping her fist in the air excitedly.

POWER GIRL (BURST): Stop smashing up my city!

TERRA: You tell him, PG!


PAGE EIGHT (four panels)

1. Power Girl grabs onto the monster and lifts him higher into the air.

POWER GIRL: You picked the wrong day to attack New York!

2. Power Girl whirls the monster around rapidly by one of its arms.

POWER GIRL: Thanks to you, I have to reschedule my press conference!

3. Coming out of her rapid spinning, Power Girl throws the monster down towards the ground with all her might.

POWER GIRL: That's a headache I do not want to deal with!

4. The monster crashes face first into the ground, breaking through the pavement of the street and opening a small crater upon impact. Dust and debris flies everywhere.

POWER GIRL (O.S.): You're up, kid!



PAGE NINE (five panels)

1. A shot of Terra up in the air on her floating chunk of earth. She holds her hands up in front of her, cupping them together in a dome shape.

TERRA: I'm on it!

2. The monster lies crippled against the ground, unmoving. The earth around the monster lifts up and begins to cover it.

3. The earth settles in over the monster, now covering it in a rocky tomb. Terra smiles, hands on her hips in triumph. Power Girl flies next to her, smiling.

TERRA: Wow, that was way easier with a partner.

POWER GIRL: For something that destructive, it sure didn't take a lot to put him down for good.

4. The two turn and give each other a high five both grinning.

POWER GIRL: Oh well, good work, kid.

TERRA: You said it!


5. Terra and Power Girl look over at the dome of earth and rocks, both surprised.




PAGE TEN (five panels)

1. The monster bursts up through the earth, mouth open wide and arms raised above its head.


2. A close up of Power Girl and Terra's shocked faces.

TERRA: No way!

POWER GIRL: I guess he's a little more durable than we thought.

3. A shot of the monster crashing into Power Girl with its shoulder lowered. Power Girl takes the hit, face grimacing. Terra turns her head, watching the sudden attack.

Terra: And faster.

4. The monster swings its arm, causing Power Girl to fly violently through the air. Terra raises her arms, causing blunt chunks of earth to rise up in front of the monster.

POWER GIRL: And stronger!

5. The chunks of earth strike the monster directly, knocking it off balance.

TERRA: Yeah, take that!


PAGE ELEVEN (four panels)

1. A close up of the monster's head turning to look back over its shoulder.


2. Terra reacts sheepishly, holding a hand up and waving her hand in embarrassment.

TERRA: Heh heh... uh, hi?

3. The monster takes a swing at Terra, aiming to rip to her open with its claws. Terra moves out of the way, however, flying up higher on her floating rock.


TERRA: A little help, PG!

POWER GIRL (O.S.): Hey, keep those grubby hands to yourself!

4. A frontal shot of the monster, with Power Girl flying in the air above it. She fires a massive blast of heat vision at the monster, striking it in the back and forcing it flat against the ground. The monster screeches in pain.

POWER GIRL: And this time, stay down!



PAGE TWELVE (five panels)

1. Power Girl lands on the ground next to the monster, holding her fingers over her nose. The monster again lies motionless on the ground. Its skin is blackened and charred with thick wisps of smoke billowing up from its wounds. Terra is next to her, floating low to the ground on her hovering rock. She's on her hands and knees.

POWER GIRL: Uck, smells like burnt rubber.

TERRA: At least it's not getting up?

2. A close up on the monster's burnt backside. The burns are significantly smaller than in the last panel.

3. Same shot as the last panel, but the burns are almost completely gone.

4. Zooming out from the last panel, showing the monster pushing its way back up to its feet.

5. Power Girl deadpans, glaring forward with her shoulders sagging. Terra rubs the back of her head, grinning sheepishly.

POWER GIRL: You just had to say it.

TERRA: Heh, whoops.


PAGE THIRTEEN (five panels)

1. The monster swings its arm again, smashing it against Power Girl and sending her rocketing through the air again.


2. Power Girl crashes into the side of a building, shattering the window and spraying shards of broken glass in all directions.

POWER GIRL (CAPTION): Yeah, it definitely hit harder that time.

3. The monster takes a swing at Terra this time. Terra raises her arms straight upward, causing a rocky wall to rise up in front of her.

TERRA: Try and get through this!

4. The monster's fist smashes straight through the wall, pummeling Terra in the face and launching her backwards.


5. Power Girl flies in from behind the monster, eyebrows crossed and angry. Her fist is pulled back, ready to deliver a punch. The monster's face is pressed close into the foreground. Its eyes move to the side, as if trying to look behind itself.


PAGE FOURTEEN (five panels)

1. The monster turns around, opening its mouth wide and emitting a powerful breath of burning radiation. Power Girl recoils, cross her arms in front of her in attempts to brace herself and block some of the blast.


POWER GIRL (CAPTION): This hurts. It actually hurts. Me.

2. The radiation breath finally becomes too much for Power Girl to endure. She flies backwards down the street. It's important to put a car somewhere down the street in Power Girl's path, because it correlates with the next panel.


3. Power Girl smashes into the side of a car, caving the frame inward. Her costume is now torn up and singed.

POWER GIRL: Someone seriously needs a breath mint.

POWER GIRL (CAPTION): And again, ow.

4. Terra floats back in from behind, raising one arm up and clenching a fist, as if grasping at something.

TERRA: I got it, PG!

5. A massive hand of earth and stone bursts through the ground and clamps around the monster, squeezing and holding it firmly in place.

TERRA: Ha! Gotcha!


PAGE FIFTEEN (four panels)

1. The monster rips through the earthen hand, raising its arms upwards and sending bits of debris in all directions


2. Terra recoils, turning her body and holding up an arm. An earth wall rises up to shield her body against the flying stones. Her face twists into frustration.

TERRA: Oh come on!

3. Power Girl pushes herself off the car. She slouches forward slightly, glaring at the monster.

POWER GIRL: We're not going to be beat it this way! Even if we do cripple it again, it'll just regenerate and get even stronger!

Terra (O.S): You have a plan?

4. Close up of Power Girl's face. She's grinning, knowingly.

POWER GIRL: Yeah, you could say that.


PAGE SIXTEEN (seven panels)

1. Power Girl flies upward at an angle, while Terra pushes both her arms up into the air, causing a large chunk of earth to rip up from the ground right beneath the monster, lifting it high into the air.

POWER GIRL: I need you to give this giant sack of ugly some height!

TERRA: You got it!

2. The monster looks around in confusion, as it rises higher on the hovering chunk of earth.

MONSTER: Rrruuuhh?

3. Power Girl collides full force with the monster, wrapping her arms around its mid section and lifting it up higher into the air.

POWER GIRL (CAPTION): There we go. It doesn't have a chance now.

4. The two are now miles above the earth's surface. Power Girl holds on tightly to the monster, who continues to look around in confusion.

POWER GIRL (CAPTION): Not with as fast as I'm going.

5. We're in space now, just out of the earth's atmosphere. Power Girl is holding onto just one of the monster's arms now, winding up in preparation to throw it.

6. Power Girl tosses the monster as hard as she can into the distance. The sun burns brightly in the backdrop.

7. The monster gets smaller as it flies off further into the distance. It's now just a silhouetted dot against the sun.


PAGE SEVENTEEN (six panels)

1. Close up of Power girl gazing into the distance. She holds her palm flat above her eyes to shield against some of the sunlight.

2. Full length shot of Power Girl floating there with her hands on her hips. She smiles triumphantly.

POWER GIRL (CAPTION): Yeah, that outta do it.

3. Power Girl quickly descends back into the Earth's atmosphere.

POWER GIRL (CAPTION): Now, better get back before I need to breathe again.

4. Power Girl returns to the surface, landing amidst the destruction left behind. Terra runs over, grinning in delight.

TERRA: That was awesome! You totally fried that monster!

5. Terra lunges forward in a flying hug tackle, wrapping her arms around her friend happily. Power Girl returns the hug and smiles widely.

POWER GIRL: When in doubt, improvise. Remember that, kid.

TERRA: So, what's on the agenda next?

6. A close up of Power Girl smirking down at Terra. Though still hugging, Terra's face shows disappointment.

POWER GIRL: We stick around and help out the clean up crews.

TERRA: Ah, nuts...


PAGE EIGHTEEN (seven panels)

1. Transition: "Later That Night..."

This panel is a wide shot, depicting a traveling carnival, which includes various amusement rides, food vendors, merchandise vendors, carnival games, a circus tent, and animal acts. Will provide reference images if needed. The place is packed, with crowds of people having a good time. In the midst of the crowd, KARA and ATLEE (now back in their civilian identities), walk next to each other.

ATLEE: Wow, this place is amazing!

KARA: You say that like you've never been to a carnival before.

ATLEE: But I haven't.

KARA: Oh. Well, then you're in for a real treat, trust me.

2. The pair pass by several game booths, including a ring toss, a balloon and dart game, and a basketball toss. Terra turns her head to look at them in wonder.

ATLEE: Thanks again for bringing me.

KARA: It was the least I could do after your help with that ugly beast today.

3. Terra looks back at her friend and grins, while thrusting a fist forwad in a mock punch. Kara watches with amusement.

ATLEE: Yeah, we totally showed that thing who's boss!

4. Holding her hands upward, Terra splays her fingers out and curls them, imitating claws. She makes a scary face, eyebrows crossing. Kara holds a hand over her mouth, stifling a laugh.

ATLEE: It was all like "Raaawwwr!"

5. Terra throws another mock punch, this time with a serious expression.

ATLEE: And then we were all like "Pow!"

6. Now Terra winds up her arm, as if pretending the throw something. Kara eyebrows lift, as she makes a move towards her friend. Several passersby are staring in their direction now.

ATLEE: And then you threw it into the sun!

KARA: Alright, let's settle down there, kid.

7. Terra rubs the back of her head, grinning sheepishly. Kara smiles and holds a hand to her friend's back, as they continue to walk through the carnival grounds.

ATLEE: Heh, got a little carried away.

KARA: Come on, let's have some fun.


PAGE NINETEEN (eight panels)

1. Atlee and Kara are at a bottle toss booth. A bunch of large stuffed bears hang from the side of the booth. Atlee throws a baseball at the stacked bottles, but misses wide. The game operator watches with a smirk, his arms folded across his chest. Kara watches with her hands pressed to her hips.

2. Still at the bottle toss booth. This time, Atlee points her hand forward, directing a large stone at the bottles. The stone flies straight through the battles, shattering them, and bursts through the back of the booth. The game operator holds his hands to his head in shock. Kara, meanwhile, drops her face into her hand, a small smile on her face.

3. Atlee clutches one of the large stuffed bears, a large, triumphant grin on her face. Kara merely smirks, as the two continue their way through the carnival.

4. The two girls rapidly descend a steep drop on the roller coaster. Kara is all smiles, holding her arms up in the air excitedly. Atlee, however, shrinks back into her seat, hlding her hands over here eyes in terror. She splays her fingers slightly with one hand, peeking cautiously.

5. Kara takes part in a "ring the bell" game (the carnival game where you strike a base with a mallet and send a metal puck up a tower, in hopes of hitting the bell at the top). The panel depicts Kara at the end of her swing, the mallet crashing against the base. The metal puck bursts through the top of the tower into the air, knocking the bell clean off. Terra stands by with her large stuffed bear, looking up at the flying puck in wonder. The game owner stares in utter shock.

6. The game owner angirly points them away. Kara retreats, smiling sheepishly.

7. Kara brings Atlee to the carnival's petting zoo. Atlee stands inside the pen, holding a handful of food out while a goat nibbles the feed from her palm. She smiles widely, holding a hand up to her mouth and giggling. Kara watches fromt he other side of the pen, leaning against the fence.

8. Atlee and Kara sit at a picnic table, sharing a large serving of fried dough topped with powdered sugar.


PAGE TWENTY (seven panels)

1. Kara and Atlee sit next to each other in one of the carts on the ferris wheel. Atlee's giant stuffed bear sits on the other side of her. Atlee sips from a large soft drink cup, while Kara peels off a small piece of her cotton candy.

TERRA: Thanks again, Kara. This rocked.

KARA: Don't mention it. What are best friends for, right?

2. Atlee holds lowers her cup and smiles at Kara.

ATLEE: Can we see a movie tomorrow?

KARA: I don't see why not.

3. Kara pulls off another piece of cotton candy and looks slyly over at Atlee. Meanwhile, the cart stops at the very top of the ferriss wheel, overlooking the entire carnival.

KARA: Say, have you ever had cotton candy?

ATLEE: I don't think so. Is it any good?

KARA: Try it for your self

4. Atlee eagerly pops the piece of cotton candy into her mouth.

5. Atlee smiles, savoring the flavor.

ATLEE: Mmmm.

6. Atlee's eyes abruptly widen in surprise. Kara leans back against the cart and grins. Off screen, fireworks begin to go off, meaning that their faces should be lit up with various colors right now.

ATLEE: Oh! It disappeared!

KARA: Yeah, that's kind of what it does.

7. Insert panel, a close up of Kara's face. Her eyes shift to the side, looking towards the fireworks. Her face should be lit up by the firework light still.

KARA: Oh hey, look --



The page shows Kara and Atlee from behind, as they sit in the cart at the very top of the ferris wheel, watching a brilliant fireworks display in the night sky in front of them. Kara leans back, one elbow relaxed over the back of the cart, while her other hand comes up to the top of Terra's head, ruffling the girl's hair.

KARA: -- fireworks.

TERRA: Pretty.


#2 Posted by AweSam (7527 posts) - - Show Bio

That's really good, I liked it. I really like how you did the panels. I'm going to use it as an example, if you don't mind.

#3 Posted by rav4 (1688 posts) - - Show Bio

@AweSam: Thanks, I was actually worried about writing the panels out. I thought it was going to be a real pain, but it actually came to me more naturally than I would have expected.

And use as an example for what exactly? xD

#4 Posted by AweSam (7527 posts) - - Show Bio

@Ravager4 said:

@AweSam: Thanks, I was actually worried about writing the panels out. I thought it was going to be a real pain, but it actually came to me more naturally than I would have expected.

And use as an example for what exactly? xD

For when I write in panel format lol.

#5 Posted by rav4 (1688 posts) - - Show Bio

@AweSam: Oh, sure lol

#6 Posted by TheCannon (20267 posts) - - Show Bio

I liked it. I think it's the only Power Girl fan fiction I've ever seen on the site. Except for the upcoming Ms. Power.

#7 Posted by VyseCarma (303 posts) - - Show Bio

I like how you wrote it as a comic script, I would've never have thought to do that.

#8 Posted by rav4 (1688 posts) - - Show Bio
#9 Posted by CapFanboy (5590 posts) - - Show Bio

@Ravager4: This is great!

#10 Posted by rav4 (1688 posts) - - Show Bio

@CapFanboy: Thank you :)

#11 Posted by CapFanboy (5590 posts) - - Show Bio

@Ravager4 said:


Haha, probably needed. Sorry again...

#12 Posted by rav4 (1688 posts) - - Show Bio


#13 Posted by vernierhawk001 (563 posts) - - Show Bio

Another job well done. I'm not sure if your "writing voice" was something you spent time developing or if you read a lot of comics but I think it flows really well. It was easy to visualize this as I was reading it. And the Kara dialogue was great.

#14 Posted by rav4 (1688 posts) - - Show Bio

@vernierhawk001: oh, wow, I'd completely forgotten I had this thing. Thanks xD

#15 Posted by Joygirl (21008 posts) - - Show Bio

This was such a deliciously soothing balm to my Atlee withdrawals. Having JUST finished the series, it certainly shows that you know the characters and can write them flawlessly (though no pop culture reference for Kara? :o). I also think it's neat how you use the mythology of the whole series (Nick Cho, the redhead alterego) while retaining the mood of the first twelve issues. Very neat, very fun read!