I have been writing a lot lately and I want to write a comic book someday. The thing is I need some feeedback to see how my writing skills are. I wrote this for another user here on the site. I wanted to see if she would draw this "One-Shot" out but she probably won't be able to (If she does I know it would be amazingly cool).
So now I am posting it here to share with everybody. Let me know what you think!
Deadpool and Spider-Man play a card game and swap war stories while they play. Deadpool was feeling lonely one night so he decided to kidnap Spidey and tie him to a chair so that they could play cards. When Deadpool is about to leave Spider-Man to go kill someone for a job he got hired to do, Spidey keeps him talking in order to prevent it.
He needs no introduction. Weapon X, yada yada yada, Cable and Deadpool, yada yada…
Bitten by a radioactive Spider, sold his marriage to the Devil and is dated Carlie Cooper.
Voice in DP’s Head 1
Voice in DP’s Head 2
Page 1 – 2 Panels
Panel 1: In a really dark room (One of those interrogation rooms you would probably only see in old movies or cartoons) there is spotlight which lights upon DP and SM playing cards. In this panel you only see DP looking over his cards.
Voice 1: Do you have any threes?
Voice 2: We are looking at the same cards you moron!
Voice 1: Fine! Let me rephrase the question. Do we have any threes?
Voice 2: Sigh! No. Go fish!
Panel 2: The same scene as the one before, only this time you can see DP opening his mouth under his mask to say something.
DP: We are not playing “Go Fish”!!!
SM (Off-panel): Who are you talking to?
Page 2 – 3 Panels
Panel 1: You see Spider-Man tied up with chains to a chair. The shot is from his front as if the perspective comes from DP. He has enough space for him to move his hands and play the cards but he is clearly stuck to the wooden chair.
DP (Off-Panel): To the voices in my head.
DP (Off-Panel): Shhhhhh!!!
SM: I would “face palm” if I could reach my head.
Panel 2: Same as the last panel but this time Spidey holds his cards down and looks at Deadpool.
DP (Off-Panel): Are you wondering why I asked you to hang out with me?
Panel 3: You see Spider-Man standing on a rooftop and looking down to the city.
Caption (Cap) DP: Fine…
Page 3 – 4 Panels
Panel 1: Same image as Panel 3 from the last page only this time DP has a bag over Spidey’s head.
Cap DP: …kidnapped.
Panel 2: You can see Deadpool looking over his cards closely. As if he were to do a very serious move.
DP: Or would it be considered spider-napped?
Voice 1: Spider-napped is not a word.
Voice 2: Yes it is. It’s a conjunction!
Voice 1: “Conjunction junction, what’s your function?”
Voice 2: I though we agreed on no more kiddie songs!
Voice 1: I agreed to no such thing!
Panel 3: Deadpool puts his hand down and leans on the table.
DP: Well you see Spidey your spider-sense sucks, I was lonely and I wanted company.
Voice 1: …and there you have it! He’s out of the closet.
Voice 2: No he’s not!
DP: Since I have no guy buddies who would play cards with me I thought you might be interested.
Voice 2: See! He’s just “experimenting”.
Panel 4: Spider-Man leaves the cards on the table and angrily gestures at him.
SP: And this was the way to do it?! By tying me up to a chair? You could’ve asked!
Page 4 & 5 – 7 Panels
Panel 1: Shot of Deadpool leaving his cards on the table and getting up.
DP: Would you have said yes?!
SM (Off-Panel): No! You’re more nuts that Squirrel Girl.
Panel 2: DP’s phone starts ringing and Deadpool reacts to it. He hasn’t picked it up yet he is just reacting to it since he was cut off.
Panel 3: Spider-Man is simply sitting looking at DP in a lazy manner.
DP (Off-Panel): Okay. How much? Where? Sure. You got it.
SM: Now what?
Panel 4: Deadpool grabs his guns and swords.
DP: I just got a gig.
Voice 2: He makes it sound like he’s in a band.
SM (Off-Panel): To kill someone?
Panel 5: Still tied to the wooden chair Spider-Man sits up.
SM: Wait! You said you wanted a friend. You need to tell me something. I don’t know swap war stories or something!
Voice 1: Now he wants to get all friendly?
Voice 2: Can’t you see?! He’s trying to stall Wade.
Panel 6: Deadpool is staring Spider-Man closely as if skeptical.
Voice 1: Stall him from what?
Voice 2: From taking that job.
Voice 1: Nah! This is the Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man we are talking about. The most honest man in all of Marvel continuity.
Panel 7: Deadpool sits back down with a smile under his mask.
Page 6 – 3 Panels
Panel 1: Deadpool is wearing a cape and he’s flying over NYC.
Cap DP: Have I ever told you of the time I saved New York from Godzilla?
Voice 1: I am pretty sure there is some copyright infringement here somewhere.
Panel 2: Spider-Man leans in as if interested.
SM: No! Do tell!
Voice 2: I am pretty sure that was him being sarcastic.
Panel 3: Deadpool with the cape is punching Godzilla on the nose.
Voice 1: I heard in a movie that capes are no good for superheroes.
Page 7 – 3 Panels
Panel 1: Spider-Man fighting Doc Ock.
Cap SM: Well I once fought a man with four mechanical octopus arms.
Voice 1: Oh now he’s making stuff up!
Panel 2: DP leans in surprised.
Panel 3: Spider-Man fights the new Doc Ock (The one that first appeared in Amazing Spider-Man #600. Same guy he is just half machine now)
Cap SM: Yep. Last time I saw the guy him he added four extra arms and became part machine.
Cap DP: No !@#$ way!
Page 8 – 4 Panels
Panel 1: Deadpool and Stitch are fighting against aliens.
Cap DP: Well I once teamed up with a cute, furry blue alien named Stitch.
Voice 2: More copyright infringement!
Voice 1: Actually that one is legit.
Panel 2: Spider-Man fighting facing a giant Spider. Event that happened in Amazing Spider-Man #527 during “The Other” story arc.
Cap SM: Well I once faced a giant Spider god who decided my if I should continue living after being killed.
Voice 1: I am betting that one was a dream.
Panel 3: Deadpool and Lady Deadpool making out.
Cap DP: I once kissed myself from another universe.
Panel 4: Ms. Marvel and Spider-Man eating a Hot Dog on the rooftop.
Cap SM: I once dated Ms/Captain Marvel.
Voice 2: ...and he continues to make stuff up!
Page 9 – 3 Panels
Panel 1: Deadpool reacts to Spider-Man last comment. Wide shot where you can see both of them sitting across each other of the table.
DP: Whoa dude! You dated Carol Danvers?
SM: It was only one date and it didn’t lead to anything.
DP: So, how was she?
SM: You really want to make this conversation uncomfortable?
SM: Then lets talk about that kiss. Making out with yourself? Are you really that desperate?
Panel 2: Same shot angle only this time Spider-Man and Deadpool are looking away from each other.
Voice 1: Awkward.
Panel 3: Same as panel 2 only this time Deadpool looks at Spider-Man.
DP: Do you want to go back to playing cards?
Page 10 – 5 Panels
Panel 1: Gradually throughout the page the shot will be “zooming out” from where they are playing cards. This first panel is similar to the one from the last page only this time the shot is farther away. Spider-Man is still chained to the chair and Deapool and him are playing cards again.
Voice 1: It’s nice when you see two friends make up after a fight.
Voice 2: Now I'm doubting the whole “coming out of the closet” theory you had earlier.
Panel 2: Same shot only farther away. You are now looking at it from outside a window. The shot is close enough to the window frame that you can’t really make out the building. Deadpool is leaving a card on the table.
SM: That’s not how you play Poker.
DP: We are not playing Uno!?
Panel 3: The shot is farther away and you can see the building now. On the right of the building you can make out some graffiti that says “Dead“
DP: Hey, Spidey I always wanted to know about your love life. I’ve had a lot of girlfriends who died, have you had any girlfriends who've died?
SM: Do you know I can easily break these chains and intentionally hurt you?
Panel 4: You can now see all of the graffiti which says “Deadpool Waz Here!”
DP: Really? So you have had your share of women in refrigerators.
Voice 1: You know that sounds like something that happened to a friend of mine. He actually looks a lot like Wade before he got his skin problems.
Voice 2: So, he looks like Ryan Reynolds?
Voice 1: Wade should try Proactiv.
Panel 5: Spider-Man breaks the chains that have been “holding” him.
Voice 1: Why didn't he do that before?
SM: I’m warning you ‘Pool. Don’t go there.
DP (Off-Topic): Sensitive topic huh?
Page 11 – 3 Panels
Panel 1: Tight shot on Deadpool’s face.
DP: Was she blonde?
Panel 2: Thin, fully black panel.
Panel 3: Large panel that basically uses up most of the page. Spider-Man is holding a beat up Deadpool.
Voice 1: He did warn you!
-- Geo (sora_thekey) 24/7 geek! -- Follow me on Twitter: @sora_thekey