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#1 Edited by xxxddd (3861 posts) - - Show Bio

Continuing from Part 2.


Atlantean Military Training Facility


Prelude: 30 years later, The hybrid child was soon found to be the strongest of the Atlanteans due to his hybrid physiology. Instead of being rejected, the child was molded to be the Ruler of Atlantis, King of the Seven Seas, and Fighter For the Common Good: Namor the Submariner!

The area is a 40 foot by 40 foot glass tank full of water. There is only one entrance and exit, and both doors are locked. A small window where Dhampir sits behind is a one way mirror. Dhampir is looking at his son, while his son is unaware of who is on the other side.

"This'll be easy," Namor thinks, "All I have to do is destroy the armed robots and I'll win."

As he prepares to destroy the robots, a slender woman appears.

She screams "NAMOR! Forget the robots! We have 10 seconds left to save that woman or else the bomb strapped to her chest will detonate!"

"I need to destroy the robots, Laura, there's no point in saving someone without showing them how powerful you are!" Namor remarks callously.

"That's not the-"

"8-7-6" Each number echoing throughout the ears of Laura, while going in one of Namor's ears and out the other. The slender woman knows she can't take on all the robots by herself, and she can swim fast, but not fast enough to catch the woman. "Namor, you're close enough to grab her! Forget the robots, swim past them and remove the bomb!" She says frantically.

"4-3-" Namor decides to ignore her remark and destroy the robots. "2"

"1" WHAAABOOOOOOM!!!!!!!!!!!! The bomb detonates. "SIMULATION OVER. TEST FAILED." A large computer says. The robots and woman then disappear(they were part of a computer program) and the two warriors exit the chamber(the two enter a dry corridor).

"You are arrogant, Namor! Your brutality and excessive self confidence caused you to ignore wishes of your teammate, risk, no-end- the life of an innocent girl, and above all, you have failed to see past your own selfish ambitions! You don't save someone for the recognition, you save them because it is the right thing to do!" Dhampir says every word with intense anger and constantly points in his son's face. Namor looks down, not wanting to admit that his father has a point.

"Look father." Namor trying to defend himself, not because he believes he is right, but because he always wants to have the last word. "I know I can be-selfish-sometimes, but"

'SOMETIMES? SOMETIMES?" At this point Dhampir is mere centimeters away from Namor's face. Dhampir is so close that Namor can feel his father's breath hit his face. "How can you be a fair ruler with a strong sense of vanity?You are about to make contact with the surface world, yet you are unable to act properly in times of desperation!"

"But father-" Namor says quietly.

"NO BUTS! GET OUT OF MY SIGHT!" Dhampir points to the exit of the military training area.

Namor leaves, with his head down in shame. He thinks about trying to apologize to his father, but he remembers the first rule his father taught him"apologizing is a sign of weakness." With shame filling his heart at failing to fulfill his father's expectations, as well as confusion as to how, Namor sighs heavily, and walks out of the area a frown on his face.

Dhampir goes back to his throne, and sits down, burying his face in his hand.

"Why does my son want to be the death of me?" Dhampir talking to Laura. "I have given him everything, and the only thing I ask in return is humility. Is this too much to ask a father of his son?"

"I know Namor may not be up to your-expectations, Sir, but I know, deep down inside, he is capable of things not even you can imagine." Laura says passionately.

"You really have faith in him, don't you?"

"In some ways, more than you do, sir." Laura says. And with that, Laura walks to Namor's room to tell him the truth-that the time of immaturity is over.


Namor's Room


Laura knocks on the door.

"Come in." Namor says.

She opens the door decides to sit next to Namor. "Do you know why I married you?"


"Because I wanted to make you happy, because I had to make you happy. And now, you have to learn to make someone else happy. By-"

BOOM! BOOM! The sound of two energy blasts are heard. Moments later, a Atlantean guard walks in and yells "Dhampir has been attacked! Follow me!"

Laura looks at Namor with worry on her face, then they both rush out of the door toward the area they had just left. And they see a horrific site.

"So-so-so-son." Dhampir is on the ground, covered in a pool of his own blood. "Come....here." Dhampir says weakly. "I know I've always been hard you. But it was because....I loved you."

"Dad, don't worry, it'll be all right, we can just-"

"It's too late for me son. I want you to know something before I go." Dhampir says as he coughs up blood.

"What, dad?" Namor says, teary eyed.

"No matter what happens, son. No matter the obstacles that come your way. Know this: You always have a choice, and you can always choose to do the right thing." With that last word, a heavy sigh comes from Dhampir. It will be the last sigh he ever takes.

"Dad? DAD?" Namor yells.

Laura pulls Namor away "DAD? DAD? YOU CAN'T BE-"

"HE'S GONE, NAMOR. He's.....gone." As she says the last word, she becomes teary eyed as well. Namor realizes his wife is in just as much pain as he is, and calms down.

He goes over to the person who killed Dhampir, and picks the person up with one hand-by the throat. 'WHY? WHY'D YOU DO IT?" Namor screams.

"Hahahahahahahaha." The assassin laughs manically. "You think you know what loss is? You have no idea! Soon...the Dark Will Reign Supreme!" Then, the assassin starts to shake violently. Namor realizes the person had took a cyanide capsule.

With the assassin dead and his father gone, Namor realizes a truth he had never thought about before-Being King isn't always easy.

Chapter Closed!

I would like constructive criticism please. How could the story have gone better? Do I need to elaborate more?

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#2 Posted by mrdecepticonleader (19658 posts) - - Show Bio

@xxxddd: Good work.

I dont think you need the pictures showing what the rooms are supposed to be like,maybe give it a rough description then let the reader use there imagination for the rest.

Apart from that keep up the story telling.

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#3 Posted by xxxddd (3861 posts) - - Show Bio

@mrdecepticonleader: I took the pictures out.

Thanks for the compliment:)

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#4 Posted by mrdecepticonleader (19658 posts) - - Show Bio

@xxxddd said:

@mrdecepticonleader: I took the pictures out.

Thanks for the compliment:)

No problem thanks for sharing your story,keep up the good work.

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#5 Posted by xxxddd (3861 posts) - - Show Bio

@mrdecepticonleader: Shall do.