Marvel Converso: Crossbones #1

Revelations , Revenge and Something Else Part 1

Alaska – 2 weeks ago

Daniel Leighton stood in front of a cabin that was barely standing up. Inside of that cabin he hoped to find his old friend Brock Rumlow who had gone missing two years ago after a failed mission against the terrorist organisation known as S.H.I.E.L.D.

Daniel made a small step toward the door of the cabin. Picked up his hand and thought about if he should knock or to go straight inside. The moment of hesitation passed and he decided to knock.

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

Daniel waited patiently. He thought that he will hear steps from inside but nothing of that kind happened. He grabbed the door knob and twisted it in order to open it. When he walked inside he saw a bed with a few books on it, a refridgerator right next to it and an armchair in the middle of the cabin.

As he made more steps inside of the cabin he heard weird rustling sounds behind him but when he turned around there was no one there. He began examining the place once again and then something hit him in the neck. It was a tranquilizer dart which had already began making it’s way through Daniel’s bloodstream.

As he just managed to get rid of it, he felt dizzy and fell to the ground unconscious.

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Daniel woke up to find himself tchained to the armchair. There was a man sitting on the bed against him – it was Brock, just the man he was looking for.

“What are you doing here, Daniel?” Brock asked with a serious tone while standing up.

“I came here to find you, Brock. I have been looking everywhere for you since the 5^th of December two years ago…. Since the day Rachel died on the battlefield.” Daniel spoke with love and sorrow that could be felt through his words.

Crossbones started walking towards Daniel , stopped when he faced him, took a moment and then out of nowhere slapped him with force that could rip the skin from Daniel’s face. “Don’t you ever mention her name or that date ever again, you hear me?” Brock said furiously and then started unlocking the chains.

Daniel was now free from the chains’ grasp. The first thing he did was to grab his cheek and then he said “I am here not to talk you out of your misery, I am not here to talk about her or all of the men we lost that day. I am here to tell you that you can feel better if I tell you a certain thing.” Then he stopped talking and waited for Brock’s response.

It took Brock awhile to respond or to even make a sound and then his face turned red and with a big amount of rage he yelled at Lighton – “YOU THINK THAT THERE IS ANYTHING IN THE WORLD THAT CAN MAKE ME FEEL BETTER?! You think that I can easily forget what I saw that day. No, I can’t, I simply cannot do that.”

Daniel looked at him without any emotions whatsover and then he smiled. “I finally found their base, Brock. I finally found their base. We can march in there and slaughter every single one of the men who took part of the slaughter that day.”

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Queens – Present Day

Brock and Daniel were sitting in a black van looking straight ahead where for a normal person’s eye there was nothing there. Brock looked at confusion at the landscape because all he saw were suburban family house, children playing on the road and an ice cream truck was just passing by. Nothing unusual, nothing that deserved their attention.

“What exactly are we looking at?” Brock said with certain annoyance of the situation he was part of.

Daniel giggled and said “Yeah, for the normal eye there is nothing there but there is so much that none of these people are not seeing.” He took a pause and then continued “Well, you see that house over there?” he pointed to one of the houses. “That house has a basement which is unordinary. S.H.I.E.L.D agents call it the Straight. It’s one of the many bases Maria Hill made.”

“What, we need to break in there and every single one of those bastards, that killed our men, would be there and we can just kill them?” Brock wasn’t pleased and each one of his words showed just that.

“No, we will break in but in there we would be outmatched. Too many men. We only need to break into one of the offices where Daisy Johnson would be. Now, if you torture her enough she will give us information about the exact location of her chief – Maria Hill and one of S.H.I.E.L.D’s top agents – Sam Wilson.” While Daniel was speaking out the plan, Brock had already left the car and was walking towards the Straight.

Daniel started the van and with a low speed he headed towards Brock. “Brock, what are you doing, man? You are going to be seen and then everything will go to hell. Would you like that?” As Daniel was speaking, his arm was hanging out of the window and he was wearing a fake moustache and a hat for camouflage against the enemy.

“How many times have I told you to stop wearing that idiotic get-up. Even the kids know that you don’t look like that.” As Rumlow was speaking, he was also taking off the moustache and the hat.

“Look, okay, I know I look stupid but we have to come up with a plan. We can’t just walk in there and start shooting at them. We are going to get killed.” Daniel sounded concerned but in response Brock didn’t look that way.

“Just shut up and follow my lead. Now you are going to see me back in action. After 2 years….Crossbones is back!” Crossbones finished his thought, put his mask on which was black and white and there was a picture of a skull on it, and after that he started running towards the house.

Crossbones broke into the house. There were two agents sitting on the couch. For the time they made their way to their weapons Crossbones had already shot them in the head. He quickly found the basement. When he opened the door he saw that there was a vault like door behind the ordinary one. He put his backpack on the floor, he found the explosive he was looking for and planted it on the door. After a few second an explosion was heard….

BOOOOOM!

The door was cracked open. Daniel was frightened of the way Brock was working but he could understand him, he was out for revenge and he could not be stopped.

As they got to the basement they saw a high tech base in front of them. It was most definitely not a normal basement. There was an armory, a lab and a main office for when all of the agents were there. But right now everything seemed deserted.

“Where is everybody?” asked Crossbones. A tremor was felt. One of the office’s doors fell to the ground and a young woman with short hair walked out of it. She had one robotic arm and was dressed in the S.H.I.E.L.D uniform.

“Are you Crossbones? I am Quake, I am here to murder you son of a b#@ch!”

To Be Continued…….

@waezi2@tommythehitman@batkevin74@impurestcheese@jkutz@thefallens0n

Guys, the first issue of Crossbones is up and he is back in action!

@tdk_1997: This needs some slight edits, but it's good. Call me out for the next one.

@tdk_1997: I like this. Brock stepping up to be a super soldier.

@tommythehitman, what does Zemo think about that?

@thefallens0n: Glad to hear such kind words.

@cbishop:No problem, man. Glad you liked it. What kind of edits could be done? I mean, I am always looking for a way to improve my writing.

Some edits are needed but I enjoyed it. Crossbones is quite cool, nice to have a genuine badass in the universe with no conflict over his morales or choices.

@TheFallenS0n: About Brock being a super soldier or about him killing a bunch of SHIELD guys?

@tdk_1997: It's little stuff like extra words. Looks like you were editing as you went, and just missed deleting something. Stuff like that. A careful re-read would probably catch it. :)

@tommythehitman What you guys have seen so far from Crossbones is nothing. What he is about to do is going to be way more badass than this.

@cbishop Ah, I will check it out and when I find something I will fix it. Thanks, for the heads up.

@tdk_1997: I had an idea for a small team up moment between him and Whirlwind. Where he pulls out a weapon and WW is like:

"Holy crap! That looks like a bazooka!"

"That's 'cause it IS a bazooka."

@tommythehitman: We might do that but first I have to decide on the end of the mini-series. There will be a surprise in the end but I am considering on making a second one.

But for now I like the idea of making a team-up between them.

@tdk_1997: Talk about brutal, Crossbones and Cutthroat seem to have a Cap and Bucky relationship in the most twisted way imaginable, at least that's what I picked up on. Good start, let's hope the series remains as strong through the following issues

@tommythehitman:It would be an RPG Launcher to be exact, the bazooka was so 1945.

@impurestcheese: Vintage.

@tommythehitman: And unreliable with inferior range, tracking abilities and armour piercing potential. Also RPGs are much cheaper and easier to find

@impurestcheese: Wow, I did not expect to hear so much good words. Having been absent from writing any fan-fic at all, I thought I would be rusty.

@tdk_1997: Not necessarily, depends on how much effort you put into the writing

@impurestcheese: I was devoted to this a lot. Crossbones may not exactly be one of my favorite characters but I like him and I wanted to make this story good.

Also, I like that you saw that Crossbones/Cutthroat seems close to Bucky/Steve.

@tdk_1997: Take my advice, or don't, it's advice and a critique for you to do with as you wish. It's good but some parts need a polish, a tightening and some spellchecking

__

Daniel Leighton stood in front of a cabin that was barely standing up. Inside of that cabin he hoped to find his old friend Brock Rumlow who had gone missing 2 years ago after a failed mission against the terrorist organisation known as S.H.I.E.L.D.

Daniel made a small step toward the door of the cabin. Picked up his hand and thought about if he should knock or to go straight inside. The moment of hesitation passed and he decided to knock.

Okay. It’s Alaska. Is it cold? Is there snow? A bit more description, atmosphere to set the scene.

Eg: Daniel Leighton’s breath hung in the freezing air as he trudged toward the cabin. It’d taken months to track down his old friend who now was living on the frozen tundra far from civilisation. At least he hoped Brock Rumlow was here. It’d been two years since Brock went after the terrorist organisation known as S.H.I.E.L.D and had come off second best. It had taken time and money to track him down.

The porch creaked, as did the awning as Daniel climbed the small stairs. The cabin seems to be held together with frost and good luck. He paused at the door pondering whether to burst in or knock. The Alaskan wind howled as he took his glove off.

See? Also numbers are for maths, one of my personal writing hates is numbers written. It is two years, not 2 years. Two o’clock. Three gunmen. Four days. Etc.

Daniel woke up to find himself tied to the armchair with a chain. There was a man sitting on the bed against him – it was Brock, just the man he was looking for.

This could be a bit better, just have him tied or chained. Tied with chain is, well silly and not quite right. You tie them up with rope, you chain them up with chair.

Sitting on the bed was (insert description). It was Brock.

“I’ve been looking for you,” coughed Daniel. That might work a bit better.

“What are you doing here, Daniel?” Brock asked with a serious tone while standing up.

“I came here to find you, Brock. I have been looking everywhere for you since the 5^thof December two years ago…. Since the day Rachel died on the battlefield.” Daniel spoke with love and sorrow that could be felt through his words.

Crossbones started walking towards Daniel, stopped when he faced him, took a moment and then out of nowhere slapped him with force that could rip the skin from Daniel’s face. “Don’t you ever mention her name or that date ever again, you hear me?” Brock said furiously and then started unlocking the chains.

As yet we don’t know he’s Crossbones. You haven’t told us that. You need to delve into his costumed identiy as you reveal more of why he’s here. Also it’s a small one room cabin, he’s already facing Daniel. Better to have him cross the room and whack him straight in the face.

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Queens – Present Day

Brock and Daniel stood were sitting in a black van looking straight ahead where for a normal person’s eye there was nothing there. Huh? This doesn’t make much sense. Again you need to set the scene, you do a bit below but I noticed it here.

Brock looked at confusion at the landscape because all he saw were suburban family house, children playing on the road and an ice cream was just passing by. Nothing unsual, nothing that deserved their attention. Nothing unusual? An ice-cream passing by, that to me, that is a bit weird. Do you mean an ice-cream van or truck, or is it a floating desert? Also you misspelt unusual

Daniel gigled and said “Yeah, for the normal eye there is nothing there but there is so much that none of these people are not seeing.” He took a pause and then continued “Well, you see that house over there?” he pointed to one of the houses. “That house has a basement which is unordinary. S.H.I.E.L.D agents call it the Straight. It’s one of the many bases Maria Hill made.” Two G’s in giggled. You also repeat normal eye, in the first line and again here. One or the other, both is sloppy.

Eg: Daniel giggled. “It’s all nice and normal and ordinary right?” He pointed at the house with the manicured lawn with the automatic sprinkler spraying the pristine plants. “That is the home of Mr & Mrs T Dirk.”

“So?” Brock snapped.

“There is no Mr & Mrs T Dirk!” Daniel replied. “It’s a S.H.I.E.L.D front for Maria Hill.”

See?

“Just shut up and follow my lead. Now you are going to see me back in action. After 2 years…Crossbones is back!” Crossbones finished his thought, put his mask on which was black and white and there was a picture of a skull on it, and after that he started running towards the house.

And now, now is the time you can start calling him Crossbones

Crossbones broke into the house. There were two agents sitting on the couch. For the time they made their way to their weapons Crossbones had already shot them in the head. He quickly found the basement. When he openned the door he saw that there was a vault like door behind the ordinary one. He put his backpack on the floor, he found the explosive he was looking for and planted it on the door. After a few second an explosion was heard…. One N in opened. Also you could leave off the last sentence just going straight to the boom, he plants the device. Unless it’s going to go wrong you can move straight to the boom! Also two SHIELD agents just sitting on the couch? Bit lax, bit silly. Are they armed? Are they in uniform? Are they just two people that Brock recognises as SHIELD agents?

The door was cracked open. Daniel was freightened of the way Brock was working but he could understand him, he was out for revenge and he could not be stopped.

As they got to the basement they saw a high tech base in front of them. It was most definitely not a normal basement. There was an armory, a lab and a main office for when all of the agents were there. But right now everything seemed deserted. Okay you need to clear this up. I thought they were on like a gated housing estate, ala Stepford Wives. But now there’s extra stuff, is this under the house? See my confusion. Also why is Daniel a shipping container, or did you mean FRIGHTENED? May I suggested a spell check before posting, clears up a lot of spelling and grammar errors. Isn’t Daniel Cutthroat? I thought he’d be a lot harder as I did think he was potentially a former HYDRA agent? Again some clatifcation

Crossbones has excellent potential!

@batkevin74: I will take everything you said as an advice for future improvement of my writing. Many of the spelling mistakes and strange way of speech or description happened because I was doing it in a hurry and I had a problem with Word. I will edit it because there can be a lot of confusion while reading it.

Bumped